Parenting after 35

trying to conceive Later in life 40

I am trying to be positive...I am a late bloomer and I am 40 trying to conceive...I have never been pregnant and never had sex where a man ejaculates inside...so i know i sound pathetic..but its my story..i always had my BF pull out and never had the whole inside thing...anyway I dont know if I have fertility issues yet. I have a sort of short cycle i get my period every 25 days it comes on day 26 !!when im relaxed and not working, (i am a teacher) it balances out to a full 28 day cycle...i have PMS symptoms such as sore breasts, down in dumps, and fatigue.  I bleed for three days. My ovulation app says my fertile days are 9through 14. I bought a predictor kit and last month it showed peak fertility on day 11 and 12 and this month it showed day 9 and 10.. This month i had sex day 9,11, and 13 within the window of what was supposedly the fertile window.  it did not work out first month and this is the second month.I am scared it wont work out. I am trying to be positive but there are many factors that im worried about...anyway just checking in..any feedback welcome

Re: trying to conceive Later in life 40

  • I conceived my first son at age 39 and delivered at 40.  I used OPKs to track ovulation and we used pre-seed to help the little swimmers get where they need to go. I didn't have any testing done to find out if issues. My doctor said if we tried for 6 months then to come see her and she would refer me to a specialist.  It only took three months for us.  We also try to have sex every other day from CD10 to CD 20 and daily on days that we get positive OPK.  I hope that helps.  FX for you 
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  • I was only 35 when I got pregnant with my first, but even so, it took about 8-9 months of seriously tracking and trying to time it.  Don't get too discouraged if it doesn't happen right away
  • I tracked my ovulation at 41 years old and became pregnant right away. Had my little girl two months ago at 42.  Keep track and have fun it may also take awhile. My dr was very helpful 
  • Age is not necessarily a good predictor of fertility or success. For now, just keep doing it--sex, with inside ejaculation. The trackers can be helpful. I had success with the ClearBlue Fertility monitor and got pregnant very easily, despite my age. You may have issues (I did), but you never know. Women have had babies from as early as possible to as late as possible. GL!
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • KLake42KLake42 member
    There is a TTC over 35 group here that can be really helpful.

    I have some advice, but it's a little blunt.  I mean this as kindly and gently as I can, ok? Of if you don't want blunt, don't keep reading.

    When I started trying, I was 38.  I'm gay, and so, like you, hadn't experience trying the old fashioned way.  I thought that maybe I'd be one of the women who is totally fertile, and might conceive without any trouble.  I mean, all those statistics are based on women to go to the doctor, not women who get pregnant without any fuss, right?

    I was naive.  You can see from my signature what I went through.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd go ahead and get a consult with a Reproductive Endocrinologist, and get your ovarian reserve tested.  It will be diminished, because of your age.  They'll be able to tell you whether it's only a little diminished, or whether it's a serious problem.  Your insurance may not cover it-- mine didn't cover any fertility treatment, and if it does, you might have to say that you've been trying at home for 6 months before you can get help.  It's worth it to pay out of pocket to get the basic blood tests done.

    There are other more expensive tests to check other things, but maybe follow the conventional wisdom with those-- try at home for six months first.  I would just, if I were in your shoes, get the ovarian reserve checked first.

    I discovered I had very poor reserve.  I ignored it, and beat myself up trying anyway.  I wish I'd saved the time and money and moved immediately to plan B.  If it's a problem, it's better to know now, and consider your options.

    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • I'll just chime in to not worry about your age. We're in our 40s and have a new family. I would say that if you try for 6 months without success that it might make sense to get some tests done sooner than later. I also suggest the TTC boards bc there is a lot to learn if you are "trying trying". And there is value also for not trying so hard.

    GL>
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • I have two older girls from a previous relationship, but it's been a while and I turned 40 in December.  When SO and I decided we'd try for my 3rd and his first I made a consult with an RE straightaway, due to my age.  I am glad I did; he didn't waste any time.  We did cd21 testing (because I happened to be at cd21 at my first meeting with him) and followed that cycle with a Clomid Challenge Test, to collect diagnostic information pertaining to my ovarian reserve and fertilizing capability of my eggs.  I was lucky; I "passed" the test, and I got pregnant this cycle: 100mg Clomid cd5-9, trigger 10000 units cd 15, timed intercourse.

    I paid my $20 specialist copays but that's it; insurance covered everything else. (The clomid, several blood tests, multiple scans, the trigger, etc.)

    Pregnancy Ticker

    Me: 40 | SO: 32

    DDs: 11, 7.5 |  Due: 22-Dec

    We're having another GIRL!!  <3

  • Hi! I found out I was pregnant a month after turning 40. I understand the emotions and anxiety that come with TTC in later years. My gynecologist advised me to not overdo the tracking and such, as the added stress works against you when trying to conceive. Track ovulation, have lots of sex. Make sure to hit the window of a day or two before ovulation as well. Might be worth your partner getting their sperm checked as well to make sure there are no issues there. Have an open dialogue with your doctor. If you haven't already, make an appointment to discuss these concerns. Talking to a professional is what helped me calm down the most. Ask ALL the questions. Good luck!
  • edited January 2022
    I got pregnant at 41 on accident (gave birth at 42). I had been tracking my cycle as my form of birth control and got pregnant when I "shouldn't have been" ovulating. So I would just agree with some of the previous posters that age does not always tell the full story of fertility! This was our second child, but my first was born when I was 39 and was also a case of not really trying. Not stressing (if you can manage it) seems helpful for success!
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