We do flowers for Mothers Day... honestly we do flowers for birthdays too if I can't think of anything else to get. Flowers always seem like a safe bet.
Flowers are always good! DH and I are both super close to our mothers and they are extremely generous with us, so we like giving back to them. Now stepparents on the other hand, much different lol
+1 to sending flowers for Mother's Day. My mom actually still sends a card or something to my grandma, which I think is sweet. My mom has done A LOT for us the last year with the wedding and now the baby. I feel like it's a good time to get her a little something she deserves.
I will buy the cards for both of our mom's but for MIL, it's up to DH. My brother and I usually fix lunch or something for our mom and I might get her a book or something small. I got her an Amazon gift card to load up her kindle since she's getting ready to go on a major trip for 3 weeks. MIL is hard to buy for and we generally end up taking her out somewhere expensive (she hates cooking and can't understand that SIL and I absolutely love it and actually prefer it over spending a ton of money in a restaurant). So I might get her a small thing of candy since we spend so much in restaurants. If she let us just cook for her, I might be more likely to buy something bigger. But she doesn't have hobbies and is incredibly hard to buy for, so this has just been our arrangement for as long as I can remember.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
So this is related to the Mother's Day gift conversation. Anybody into the "love languages" philosophy? The original book is religiously-based, so it is probably not for everyone, but I think the theories apply regardless of your religious beliefs. Basically, there are five love languages, and everyone responds to them differently. For some people, receiving gifts (presumably no matter the value) is very important to them and makes them feel loved. For others, just having someone do a favor for them or say a kind word to them or spending time with them makes them feel loved.
I bring this up because I generally dislike receiving gifts, cards, flowers, etc. They do not make me feel loved, and even worse, they make me feel like I have to immediately reciprocate. So, to me, your gift feels more like I burden. It is just not my love language. On the other hand, my sister truly enjoys gifts and if you want to show her that you care, give her a gift. Want to really make me feel loved? Per the love languages philosophy, I need "words of affirmation." Tell me that you love me, tell me that the dinner that I made was yummy, tell me that you enjoyed our day together, etc.
The problem comes up when you love/hate gifts and assume the other person feels the same way.
@natleilynn it's based on points. Which are earned through posting, earning love-tits, and being tagged... I think...
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@aprilsarahjune I love the love language philosophy and find it to be very accurate. I always try to think of that when considering how to show gratitude to someone/give them a gift.
@ariz17 we find out gender next Tuesday too! Can't wait!!
@curlyq423 & @ariz17 welcome to the lightening crotch party! So fun!
@purplestarz I honestly don't even get a card for my mom and DH just calls his. We usually spend the day with my mom or at least have a meal. That's all she cares about is time as a family anyway!
@aprilsarahjune we had to read that when we got married and I thought it was great. I definitely use it for DH and my mom. I'm just always at a complete loss with MIL. She says all she wants is to spend time with her family, but doesn't appear to actually be pleased with that soooooo....haha
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
We stopped doing gifts on Mother's Day a few years ago. To be honest it's so hard to be creative and come up with a gift for birthdays, Christmas, and Mothers Day. My mom appreciates flowers and just getting to spend the day with us. We just invite them over for a barbecue and hang out.
So I just got an extra listeria footlong sub with grand dreams of having the other half for lunch tomorrow....screw it im eating the whole thing. Idgaf.
@bluejeanbabi05 I totally did that yesterday! It was only $0.60 more for the footlong instead of the 6" so I figured I'd save the other half for later. But the whole drive home I desperately wanted to eat the other half, and ate it as soon as I got home. Yum. Now I want another one!
@aprilsarahjune we had to read that when we got married and I thought it was great. I definitely use it for DH and my mom. I'm just always at a complete loss with MIL. She says all she wants is to spend time with her family, but doesn't appear to actually be pleased with that soooooo....haha
Good point - some people are hard to decipher their love language. You just made me think about my mother and MIL, and honestly, I have no idea what their love languages are. Ugh. Maybe I should buy them each the book this year and have them report back to me on how to show them love
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
i get my mom either flowers or wine nothing major but something. she does a lot for us. MIL i hate buying for. she doesnt use/need anything. and she really doesnt do much for us so i am pretty resentful about the whole thing.
ugh.
my sister just invited me over for mothers day brunch. which is sweet.
but overall it just pisses me off. i dont want to eat freaking vegan
food. and the amount i go out of my way to make them vegan shiz and they
don't do the same to me in return is annoying (my mother and i split hosting holidays). but i always decline
invites for the very reason and i feel like my "nos" are stacking up too
high at this point.
@aprilsarahjune my MIL doesn't read books either. Seriously. She retires in a few weeks and they move down here this fall. I am grasping at straws to find something to keep her occupied other than showing up on our front porch every day.
@carries2018 that's kind of how I am. MIL doesn't drink so wine doesn't work either. She doesn't really eat much, so that doesn't work. My first job out of college I went out to dinner with them one night and she was telling me about how much her raise was at work that year. Her raise was more than I made in an entire year.
I kind of gave up at that point.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
@natleilynn No hobbies? Doesn't read? No clear interests? I can't even. My MIL is retired and obsessively goes to garden and birding club meetings and bible studies; I complain about it being impossible to schedule events with her, but at least she has something to talk about!!
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
Is it weird that I'm SUPER excited about the Erin Condren Planner DH ordered me for Mother's Day? Because I cannot remember the last time I was this pumped about a gift.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@aprilsarahjune nothing. She hates to cook. She doesn't drink. She doesn't read. She isn't part of any social groups. She only goes to church on Easter and Christmas. She walks like a maniac and cleans a lot. She likes to shop, where she buys whatever she wants. I pride myself on being pretty awesome at gift-giving but she has completely baffled me.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Im trying to decide between a cupcake and a mug brownie and ice cream... or maybe both.
Yeah, both seems like a good plan.
Also, leftover pizza dipped in homemade tzatziki is ah-mazing.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
welp my rage is skyrocketing. it is amazing what the notion of food without cheese on mothers day will do to your mood. watch out baby registry seekers. today is not your day.
My mom texted my brother and I and said she wanted to do something small since, "this will be the last mothers day with both of you." At first I was thinking, "mom do you have something to tell us!?" But she meant that since i'll be a FTM next year, I will probably have my own traditions. Aww
But usually we take her out to dinner and I'll probably get her a card and some flowers because she doesn't ever need anything either!
@aprilsarahjune I love the Love Languages, I've found them really helpful not just in how I interact with DH (he's definitely Words of Affirmation) but also in how I interpret some of the people in his crazy family. Like I'm more forgiving of his mom's weird tendency to plant herself an inch away from you while talking now that I've realized she's a Physical Touch person. So glad we read that book!
@purplestarz I guess I fall in the heartless category. My mom and I have been on horrible terms this last year and she just now came around. So my Mother's Day present to her is the fact that she gets to attend the gender reveal. And given what's happened, I'm sure she's just happy for that.
@aprilsarahjune nothing. She hates to cook. She doesn't drink. She doesn't read. She isn't part of any social groups. She only goes to church on Easter and Christmas. She walks like a maniac and cleans a lot. She likes to shop, where she buys whatever she wants. I pride myself on being pretty awesome at gift-giving but she has completely baffled me.
If she likes to walk, maybe something like a fitbit so she can track her activity?
Re: Weekly Randoms 5/8
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Eta to be fair she lives in morocco. When she used to live here, id buy her flowers
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
I bring this up because I generally dislike receiving gifts, cards, flowers, etc. They do not make me feel loved, and even worse, they make me feel like I have to immediately reciprocate. So, to me, your gift feels more like I burden. It is just not my love language. On the other hand, my sister truly enjoys gifts and if you want to show her that you care, give her a gift. Want to really make me feel loved? Per the love languages philosophy, I need "words of affirmation." Tell me that you love me, tell me that the dinner that I made was yummy, tell me that you enjoyed our day together, etc.
The problem comes up when you love/hate gifts and assume the other person feels the same way.
More info here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
@curlyq423 & @ariz17 welcome to the lightening crotch party! So fun!
@purplestarz I honestly don't even get a card for my mom and DH just calls his. We usually spend the day with my mom or at least have a meal. That's all she cares about is time as a family anyway!
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Instead, I walked away with a big bag of peanut butter m&m's and gumballs.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
I hope none of us actually gets listeria poisoning (is that the correct term? I'm too lazy to look it up) that would be terrible irony.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
@carries2018 that's kind of how I am. MIL doesn't drink so wine doesn't work either. She doesn't really eat much, so that doesn't work. My first job out of college I went out to dinner with them one night and she was telling me about how much her raise was at work that year. Her raise was more than I made in an entire year.
I kind of gave up at that point.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Yeah, both seems like a good plan.
Also, leftover pizza dipped in homemade tzatziki is ah-mazing.
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
I need a Coke! Not "Coke" as in Pepsi or Sprite. But a legit Coca Cola. The hospital I work at only has Pepsi
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
But usually we take her out to dinner and I'll probably get her a card and some flowers because she doesn't ever need anything either!
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!