Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mdlorenz
member
Re: NICU Babies / Grads Check-in 5.05
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Re: the swing - I never used one for DD1 and the one I picked up on clearance for the twins is still in the box...
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11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
- 2w3d / gest 38w6d
In the NICU: Goals / next steps?
- finally home
Grads: Any appointments?
- midwife came yesterday and he is 3oz away from birthweight. Monday is our follow up for the car seat test so we can finally get away from the car bed.
Recent milestones?
- getting home a week ago was huge. Massage today will be incredible and feels like a milestone!
How are you / family doing?
- so grateful to finally be together and long last. Spring finally arrived here and spending time outside has been so healing. Happy days ahead. Still numb to the whole experience, but that's okay for now
How are feeds going? Are you pumping and/or supplementing?
- feeds are going. I am glad to have a pumped bottle as an option so I'm not solely responsible for feeding all the time. Pumping is not my favorite but we're making it work. My right breast isn't responding well to the pump but I'm able to hand express a fair amount. It's a work in progress
Any questions?
- why is it so hard to find preemie clothing? Luckily we have a friend who's son was also premature who dropped off some clothing tonight but it is hard as hell to find a good selection
Recent photo of your squish(es) [if you feel comfortable sharing]
I share your frustration in lack of preemie clothes options. I desperately bought all the preemie clothes at Walmart the other day and ended up with camo onesies and a onesie that says "little brother" (he's our only child so far). I did get a few cute ones at least. I also can't find hats anywhere that will fit him and he has to wear hats all the time. It's probably Amazon or etsy time.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
@chailife34: The pics are adorable! Thx for sharing. I saw you mention "numb to the experience" and not having written about it, and realized I'm feeling the same way. I think I'll make a point today & tmrw to get some thoughts down on paper (and out of my head!). And you've been home for one week---definitely a celebration that calls for some hands-on rewards. I totally support that!
Today he is 5weeks 3days/38wks gest.
He is still getting two bottles of neosure, and has vitamin drops (that make his breath smell like straight iron. Gross.) and other than that is totally fine to nurse for all his feedings. I am beyond thrilled to knock my pumping sessions down to twice daily!
He had his first pediatrician appointment yesterday, and it was great! He's looking good! And had gained two ounces in a day at home! (I know that differences in scales can make a difference in that, but it made me really feel like I will be able to keep him on track with his weight gain, which has been an issue for him.)
Oldest sister is obsessed with him, wants to hold him all the time. Wants to talk about all of his baby things (bottles, passies, tiny clothes, it's all fascinating.)
Younger sister is more quietly gentle and sweet. She wants to watch him and her smile was the most precious thing to see when we let her "hold" him (with help!).
And, ironically, I'm able to get much more sleep now that he is finally home!
@mcvgal oh she looks so sweet! Congrats on graduating to newborn clothes!
@chailife34 what a cutie! Do you have a tjmaxx where you are? I have found a ton of preemie clothes there!
@kns1988 do you know anyone who knits or crochets? I have a friend who crochets, and those are the only hats that fit him really well.
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11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.