All the things today. Traffic-cried on commute. DH said he's not comfortable with me getting a pedi-cried. Remembered that someone said I was pale yesterday and asked me if I was sure I wasn't having twins after noting my very tiny bump-cried. A sad song on my playlist-cried. I should just go home.
I keep crying about the baby being a girl. Happy tears of course. But every time I think of ballet slippers, pretty dresses, manis and pedis, getting her ready for her prom, getting her ready for her wedding, being there for her when she's having a baby of her own. I just keep crying. Then I think about what if the test was wrong and it's actually a boy! And then I cry even more! Did you know that the Panorama can be wrong??? Google is a terrible thing!
I apparently have hormones coursing through my body today. I go from uncontrollable sobbing to rage every few minutes. I'm both sad and angry there weren't any caramel donuts left at the store this morning. I'm both angry and sad that my banana was bruised. The list of things goes on and on.
My toddler woke me up at 4:30 am having a BAD poop out, and I had to take care of him, all the clean up, then I had to pee and was hungry cause pregnancy, and then couldn't sleep and toddler whined for nearly 2 hours. Cried this morning cause I don't know how to sleep in and was nauseous and hungry due to lack of sleep so had to get up and make food. Thank goodness my toddler is generally super chill and will let me nap while he watches a movie
Cried because 16yr old step daughter is hormonal, on her period, and thinks the world sucks right now. Of course, I was completely rational and thought SO would think it was my fault that she thinks the world is over. Hormones are fun. I also cried when I dropped DS off at school this morning. He kept saying he wanted to go home and be with me after realizing I can't go to field day. Mom guilt to the max.
I spent my insomnia ridden night crying because I'm afraid that we're going to find out at the gender reveal that it's a boy and I'm not going to look excited. Honestly, I'd love to be a boy mom, but the thought of seeing pink makes me all teary eyed. I'm really worried I'm not going to muster the same excitement for blue and some day this kid is going to see the video and think I don't love him. Yay 2 am anxiety!
Walking home from work, saw an ambulance fighting its way through traffic, because cars were being stupid and not getting out of the way. Started crying on the street corner watching this because all I could think is what if the ambulance gets where it's going too late because some car wouldn't move?
An authentic Mexican restaurant I want to try posted a picture of FIVE DOLLAR tamale plate specials today! I want to go so bad, but I know my kids will act out on the 30 minute drive each way, and be little rascals while we eat. So we won't go. This made me cry.
Because I forgot my wallet in the mail truck and didn't realize until it was too late. Everybody had already left and everything was locked up. Now we have to go get it before we go to Disney in the morning and it will add almost 2 hours to our Disney commute.
I spent my insomnia ridden night crying because I'm afraid that we're going to find out at the gender reveal that it's a boy and I'm not going to look excited. Honestly, I'd love to be a boy mom, but the thought of seeing pink makes me all teary eyed. I'm really worried I'm not going to muster the same excitement for blue and some day this kid is going to see the video and think I don't love him. Yay 2 am anxiety!
This is why I am finding out and telling DH but no one else before the reveal. I am so afraid my reaction would be very blah if it's a boy so I'm giving myself a little time, if that's the case. Right now I also just keep telling myself it's a boy so I don't get my hopes up, because after 2 boys the thought of Pink flat out makes me hysterical, in a good way.
@kaitieb14 I wouldn't worry too much about your dog. My dog would cuddle my 9 month pregnant belly just waiting and has loved her since she came out. She loves her new role as protector, playmate and pillow. We also got another pup when DD was a couple months old and they are best friends, she even sleeps in her toddler bed with her and lets her dress her up and "walk" her around the house. My dogs adore the kids.
Edit: the more I'm thinking about how much I love my dogs and how much my kids love them and vice versa I am getting emotional and teary.
@ugoglencoco I keep telling myself boy as well and literally everyone keeps telling me girl. I get irrationally angry every time someone "swears it's a girl" I want to say f you and quit getting my hopes up
So emotional this week because my little guy is turning one so soon!! His birthday is on the 18th. This year has flown by and I honestly feel a little guilty that he doesn't get to be the only baby for too long since his brother or sister will be here before we know it!
The new Volkswagen commercial where the grandma goes on a road trip with her family because her husband died and never got to see the rest of America, and it was his last wish that she see the country with their family.
Because my mom's flight was delayed and now I'm literally picking her up and going straight to work tonight. Andplusalso she's flying a super shady airline (Allegiant) so the fact that it's delayed for "maintenance issues" is making my anxiety go through the roof.
@BayCamp I flew last month with American and had maintenance issues. Something with the AC not working in the cabin and they had to replace parts. All while on the plane for over an hour. It sucks but I am sure if it was something major they would find a new plane. Try not to worry!
@am+mommy thanks! This airline has a terrible reputation, but I keep telling myself they wouldn't let people get on an iffy plane. I'll just be happy when she lands
Bus driver told me I had to walk around the corner to get the bus. I cried ( to be fair he was really rude about it) Was late for my yoga class. Cried. Missed the bus. Cried. Baby had poo explosion through pants while waiting for replacement bus. Cried. It's been a long day
DH found my hidden B&J Chubby Hubby and started eating it right out of the container (which I always do). Then he thought it was funny when he remembered he has a sinus infection and bronchitis, so I can't have any since his spoon / spit are all in it.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
Update on my mom's flight: they grounded that plane and a replacement plane just arrived. Due to take off in 20 minutes, but we'll see since they haven't boarded yet. She'll be 6 hours late, I had to call out of work since she was my sitter but now I get to eat dinner with her so I'll call it a win.
Edit: just kidding, new plane ALSO needs work and they aren't giving her a new time
Today's meltdown is brought to you by the letters D&H!! Seriously, he's working so much lately, and I'm home so much with the kiddos that we are like two ships passing in the night. And I probably should spend some time thinking about his feelings, but I just can't right now. All I'm thinking about is how tough the past couple of weeks have been and how tough the next couple of weeks are going to be and it seems like there is no end in sight to his work schedule issues. I was awake last night over analyzing every possible thing until 4:30am!! And today I'm so exhausted that I'm crying over everything he says.
@BayCamp travelling can be so frustrating I hope your mom arrives safely soon @NYTino24 can you say divorce? Ice cream is sacred everybody. Eta: I'm mostly joking about the divorce thing.
I have to add that he thought it was funny how upset I was, not really funny that I couldn't eat it. It took both of us a while to realize that he blew it for me. Luckily, it was before I had any!
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
All four of my kids have headlice and my itchy scalp that I assumed was dry skin ( because my whole body is itchy) is probably not dry skin. Anyone who has dealt with lice understands what the next few weeks of my life looks like. Fuck. My. Life. Tears all over
"The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists." Charles Dickens. Read this from my pastor's fb page and has me bawling! That's our babies! We love them so much even if they aren't here yet!
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying 5/5
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
Edit: the more I'm thinking about how much I love my dogs and how much my kids love them and vice versa I am getting emotional and teary.
Was late for my yoga class. Cried.
Missed the bus. Cried.
Baby had poo explosion through pants while waiting for replacement bus. Cried.
It's been a long day
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
@NYTino24 he owes you a whole fresh pint. Stat.
Update on my mom's flight: they grounded that plane and a replacement plane just arrived. Due to take off in 20 minutes, but we'll see since they haven't boarded yet. She'll be 6 hours late, I had to call out of work since she was my sitter but now I get to eat dinner with her so I'll call it a win.
Edit: just kidding, new plane ALSO needs work and they aren't giving her a new time
@bcashaw your day sounds really terrible. Blowouts are the worst and always made me want to cry, especially in public.
@NYTino24 can you say divorce? Ice cream is sacred everybody.
Eta: I'm mostly joking about the divorce thing.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Anyone who has dealt with lice understands what the next few weeks of my life looks like. Fuck. My. Life.
Tears all over
Eta: spelling
Read this from my pastor's fb page and has me bawling! That's our babies! We love them so much even if they aren't here yet!