Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: May Bitchfest
thanks SIL!
I get people that will see me out an about with the baby ask how old he is (I heard this from 4-7 weeks ) oh my god your out and about and you look good. So what am I supposed to say thanks I guess and am I supposed to look like crap (which some days I do ) and hibernate in my house until he's 12 weeks old plus I do have 3 other kids to tend to.
my other bitchfest is my mother who lives with me for 9-10 months out of the year. I am grateful to her because she really helps DH and I a lot with the kids. She lives with us during the school year helping with getting kids dressed and off to school etc... but she lies to give a lot of unsolicited advice about how I'm raising my boys and how I should take away certain privileges or why do I allow my 13 year old to use his phone so much when he should be doing his homework, when this 13 year old has straight A's is on the high honor roll and got into a great school for high school obviously he's doing what he needs to do. Or will complain how spoiled my 3.6 year old is but she's the one doing all the spoiling. Or she'll chastise my boys for nothing or something stupid. I think it's because of all the time we are spending together since I'm on leave is getting to me. So I have to try and ignore her and bite my tongue but it's really getting difficult.
my bfest kinda goes along with this idea that some people need to keep their comments to themselves. DH and I went to the outlet mall for me to find some gym shoes and shoes for the wedding he is in coming up. As I'm looking around the shoe store DH is on a bench holding Lucas because I had just fed him and he was still a little fussy wanting to be held. He was using his paci and DH was consoling him. A woman walks up and says oh he's so cute how old? DH says thank you and he's a month old. The woman then says "well he looks so hungry" and DH assures her he just ate (as if it is her business) and then she walks away and says "he's starving!! That's quite clear!" Ugh she's so lucky she was talking to my husband and not me! I would have given her an earful of how inappropriate that is and how my pediatrician says differently! The nerve of some people!
Because we can't afford housing, we've been living with my family. My aunt is about two years away from retirement, and originally she was going to keep her house until she retired. Well, I just got the unpleasant surprise of learning that my fiance and I have about 6 weeks to move out of here because she and my dad just bought a house. I'm happy for her and glad she found a place she really likes, but god damn. We were supposed to have more time to get some things straightened out.
Now we're probably going to get stuck living with my fiance's family, and I can't stand being around them. They're annoying as all hell, always home, and always want me to keep them company. I can't do anything without getting 20 offers for help, and for some reason they don't understand that the best way to help me is to get out of my way. I also can't trust them with my baby. They're not good with him at all. In fact, my fiance and I have been wanting to stop taking him over to their place because of their behavior and attitudes towards the baby and me.
So, I'm about to basically be homeless. I have 6 weeks to sell the giant paperweight that is my car, and my desk, and get rid of my bed. I told my dad that they have to take my dresser and some boxes of stuff with them because I'm not willing to part with that stuff.
This is one of those days where, despite the fact that I love him more than anything in the world, I wonder if I made the right decision when I chose to have my son. I knew things would be hard, but I never expected to get into this kind of mess.
Im sure most of this bothered me because I'm tired and because I'm dreading this weekend. This is the weekend where DH is bestman and they are all coming. They only got a hotel room because they "want to help with LO". Ugh I'm not looking forward to this. Im with him all day by myself. Im good, I appreciate the help but it's fine really.
My fiance has a daughter with another woman. She petitioned to have their child support agreement changed, so Rick sent in all his financial information. We got the papers telling us what the new agreement will be yesterday, and they're going to be taking his whole check and then some. What's interesting is that they don't have any of her information about her finances, insurance, employment, etc. They're going to try to make Rick pay a bunch of money for daycare when the state completely covers hers. They're trying to make him get health and dental insurance for his daughter, and he doesn't have any custody or visitation rights so he can't get insurance for her. They're also saying that he's financially responsible for 47% of any medical bills for her since her date of birth. We know for a fact that his baby mama is on medicaid, which means her daughter has been covered under it since the day she was born. We also know she is offered insurance through her work, so she's defrauding the state by being on medicaid. Yet the state doesn't have any insurance information listed for his baby mama in the child support papers. Not to mention the fact that its illegal to not have health insurance for your child, and if they think she hasn't had it for her daughter, they should be looking into having her arrested.
And the income she reported having is waaaaay less that what she actually earns, so I suspect she's guilty of tax evasion. I'm filling out the form to send to the IRS to try to have her audited.
Plus the woman drinks and parties constantly, brings strange men home around her kid all the time (one man she brought home told my fiance and me that he microwaved his cat), pawns her daughter off on other people, and just doesn't take care of her daughter. We did the math. She spends roughly 5 hours a week with her daughter. She also constantly complains about how she's so stressed out by being a mother and how she can't handle taking care of her daughter.
So basically, because of the evil bitch I'm looking at the possibility of seeing my family torn apart. If we are unsuccessful when we contest the new agreement, my fiance is going to wind up in jail because he can't pay all of what they're demanding. We're going to be suing for full custody and we may well wind up suing the state because they're trying to take way more than the 33% of his income that they're allowed to take, and because they're not doing their due diligence and looking at his baby mama's financial records. She makes a lot more money than my fiance, so he should not be responsible for paying for everything.
Just shoot me know.
I need to bitch a minute about my DH, whom I love dearly. For some unknown reason he refuses to feed the babies overnight and in the early morning. But he will lay in bed with them trying to get them to take a pacifier and shushing them. Like dude, you're already awake, you might as well just feed them.
Me - 28, Lean PCOS
DH - 31
Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
Blog: ourbinarystar.com
FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!
Now, MIL is pissed because she apparently just noticed that almost 3 years ago we didn't ask SIL to be Godmother to DD, and wants to know who we will ask for the baby. (He's being baptized June 4th, so it's on her radar now) Not gonna be SIL, on top of not seeming that interested in us having him, she didn't even come to DD's baptism. I'm trying to be patient because she is sick, and doesn't have much time left, but seriously, she's always been rotten and impossible to please. I'm trying REALLY hard to hold my tongue.
I have a new added biggest now. My local hospital is closing their OBGYN department. There are no private practices in the area, so that means traveling an hour (about 50 miles for me, even further for many that will be inpacted) on a terrible road, that is frankly impassable during the winter, or a little under 2 hours (almost 100 miles) on a road that is better, but often gets closed during winter weather, for any prenatal care, labor and delivery, or any other GYN services. This is frustrating because we really wanted 1 or 2 more children, but I have a very real fear of delivering a baby on the side of the road.
DH is great with our toddler, but even with this being his second time around he doesn't seem to know what to do with the baby without a ton of direction. It's exhausting. I usually just get frustrated and end up doing it myself.
And you know what really grinds my gears about this? Shirlee never talked to me about this. She only asked Joni about giving us the seat. He's my child. I get to make these choices, not my aunts!
Me - 28, Lean PCOS
DH - 31
Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
Blog: ourbinarystar.com
FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!
I asked her about it when she dropped it off. 11 years old and been in one accident for sure.
I'm sending it to work with my fiance tomorrow to be thrown in their dumpster.