FTM questions for STM+--5/2

vvitchhazel · May 2017

I see a lot of questions in the FTM check in, so I thought I'd start a new one of these. Ask away!

vvitchhazel · May 2017

I copy and pasted the questions from the FTM thread!

@ktcakes87 What baby item(s) did you think were absolutely necessary, but ended up not being?

@txmomma16 For those that didn't get MS, when did you start to "feel" pregnant? I don't have MS, just some minor food aversions, and outside of exhaustion, I just don't feel pregnant.

@breezybee I have an Appt tomorrow to get my hair colored. I get it done every 7 weeks - partial bayolage (where they paint my hair). I'm just kind of nervous and hesitant. Did anyone else color their hair during the first trimester? I've heard mixed opinions on both. I don't want to bug my doctor AGAIN, but I may have to for peace of mind.

@mjdsquared I agree with txmomma, when did you start to feel pregnant? I pee a lot and breast tenderness comes and goes (but it's only to the touch, sometimes when going up/down stairs, or after I wear my tight sports bra).

@tamalahoops How do you find an obgyn? I am ultra picky when it comes to doctors. I don't wanna be rude but I can't stand for doctors to soft talk or dumb down what they're saying. The idea of having a baby coming out of my vagina while some idiot gently whispers at me is my biggest labor and delivery fear.

@camomile_june STMs, when did you start doing classes and stuff? And how did you find them?

failuretofly · May 2017

@txmomma16 @MJDsquared I had very few symptoms with DS, I don't think it was really 'real' to me until the first ultrasound at 11 weeks.

@breezybee I got my hair colored at 9 weeks with DS, the APA says that such miniscule amounts are absorbed through the scalp, it shouldn't be a concern. https://americanpregnancy.org/is-it-safe/hair-treatments-during-pregnancy
@camomile_june I didn't do any 'classes' with DS. It depends what you're looking for - help with labour or with parenting? Personally, I think the MOST valuable thing you can do to help yourself with labour is to see a pelvic floor physical therapist and learn to connect with your core muscles and learn how to use your core to push and to relax your pelvic floor muscles. I'm 99% sure the reason pushing was so hard for me with DS was that I was contracting, not relaxing my PF muscles and literally holding him back.

Duckybears · May 2017

@camomile_june Some doctor's offices can make recommendations or may even offer classes. Our hospital offered many different classes from breastfeeding to birthing. Check out your hospital's website and see what they offer. A friend of mine eased my fears by telling me the nurses know exactly what to do, so don't worry too much because they are great coaches. That was absolutely true in my case!

breezybee · May 2017

Thanks @kvacmak

NME44 · May 2017

@breezybee, you should be fine with that hair treatment. My understanding is that it's the all over color that's more of a problem Bc the color touches your scalp. Painting and highlights should be fine.

@tamalahoops, I got my OB through a recommendation from friends. But, as a side note, just because you have an OB you love doesn't mean he/she will be there for the actual delivery. My OB's partner was on call both times I delivered. So whether or not I liked her, she was there. (Disclaimer: she was a fine substitute.)

tmk0325 · May 2017

@camomile_june we did two classes before my twins came. One was just a basic preparing you for labor, etc. It wasn't worth the money in my opinion. The second was breastfeeding and taking care of baby. That one I felt I actually learned something from and would recommend it. My hospital offered classes and provided us information after my appointments. We also then had to take infant CPR when my boys were leaving the NICU. I highly recommend taking that if you haven't already.

@breezybee I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted in two weeks. Can't wait. It's perfectly fine. Nail polish is too.

@ktcakes87 Do you mean baby items for when you are home? I don't think a bassinet is necessary at all. If you are thinking of getting one, invest in a rock n play (especially helpful if your baby ends up with reflux) and a crib and you should be good. We also rarely used our swing, but some people swear by them.

@tamalahoops For me, I needed to find someone that was in our network, so I started there. Also, you might want to double check for a maternal fetal medicine doctor too at your hospital. There's always a chance you might need to see a specialist besides your OB. I looked online for one that got good reviews and was seeing new patients. This time around, I actually am going to the hospital an hour away that we had the boys at, because I did all my follow up there with the doctor that delivered the boys. Since I was high risk last time, I am just going there right away.

NME44 · May 2017

@camomile_june, classes were offered through the hospital where I delivered. Your OB or midwife or however you are going should have more information for you.

vvitchhazel · May 2017

@ktcakes87 I never used a single receiving blanket and I bought so many. I much preferred muslin blankets. We didn't use pacifiers either and I'm glad that I didn't have to wean DD off of them.

@txmomma16 @mjdsquared I had MS with DD too, so I can't help you there. However, even with all the symptoms I had, I really started feeling pregnant when I felt the flutters. It's a long way off for us, but it really takes it to a whole new level. It finally feels real.

@breezybee Answered already, but go for it! If it's well ventilated, you have nothing to worry about!

@tamalahoops I switched OBs around 22 weeks. I wasn't having a great experience with my firat. The hospital I switched to has videos of all their OBs and I was able to get an idea of who the doctors were through those. I ended up being right about my pick and my OB is no BS, straight forward, and doesn't talk down to me. And honestly, don't be afraid of switching OBs if you're not happy with the first one you see. If they rub you the wrong way, you're not going to be happy with your experience.

@camomile_june I didn't do classes. My MIL tried shaming us, but the RN who did our birthing center tour said that they're pointless and I believed her. When you're actually in labor, your body takes over. You're not thinking about breathing techniques. You're not thinking at all. Classes might help some people, but they just weren't for me.

katiegeminimoon · May 2017

@tmk0325 Yes, I meant baby items. Thank you!

lablover920 · May 2017

@ktcakes87 I got the $200? nuna leaf and just had to have it. DD hated it and loved her $60 FP my little swing. Maybe this baby will like the nuna (I saved it). IMO it's all based on babies preferences. Some hate bassinets I LOVED my halo bassinet!!! If you bottle feed I thought I needed every bottle size...nope we used 9 oz tommee tippee from newborn-12 months. Much easier than to buy different sizes when they start eating more!

Those are just some quick thoughts thrown out there for now.

@breezybee I dyed my hair all 3 trimesters with DD and am getting my hair dyed this week. Midwife was never concerned.

cait5413 · May 2017

@txmomma16 and @mjdsquared Seeing the ultrasound/hearing the heartbeat helped, but that was kind of temporary. I did have mild MS from 6-12 weeks, off and on, but once it went away, then I didn't feel as pregnant and I worried more. Once I could feel the baby move (I think the very first flutters started around 17 weeks) and I started to show a bump rather than just looking chubby (not until around 24 weeks, though that's not true for everyone--depends on your body type), that really helped.

@tamalahoops I also got a rec from a friend and met with her before we started trying. Then, we moved when I was 6 months preggo. I like my OB up here (a recommendation from my prior OB), but I liked the other one more.

Sadly, I couldn't convince her to move with me. As other posters mentioned, you want to not only like your OB, but find out what the practice policies are--will your doc definitely be there for your delivery? Will you see all docs in the practice? Will some of your appts be with the nurses, and do you like them?

@camomile_june Our hospital offered classes. We did one on birth and basic baby care, one on infant CPR, and one on breastfeeding. I think the only one with a charge was CPR. Where we used to live, the hospitals offered them and one of the hospitals paired with Babies R Us, so the store had a bunch of classes offered as well. Talk to your doc!

failuretofly · May 2017

OH! @ktcakes87 don't buy too many 'newborn' sized clothes - they are designed for baby's under 8lbs, DS was born 8lbs 1oz and only wore NB stuff for about a week, and could have easily started out in 0-3 month size! Though if your babe ends up being a tiny little 6lb peanut you can always go buy more stuff!

lablover920 · May 2017

@kvacmak I had only bought 0-3 month and DD needed newborn for like 3 weeks? My mom ran to the store for me and got a few newborn things last minute. I agree though not to go over board! Even though newborn sizes are sooo cute.

NME44 · May 2017

lablover920 said:

@kvacmak I had only bought 0-3 month and DD needed newborn for like 3 weeks? My mom ran to the store for me and got a few newborn things last minute. I agree though not to go over board! Even though newborn sizes are sooo cute.

Yep. This ^. I don't think he was in them long, but my son had to have newborn clothes. My mom stopped by the store on her way over for her first visit.

failuretofly · May 2017

@lablover920 @NME44 100% agree, have to get a few NB things - even if only because they are the cutest thing in the world! But, don't go overboard just in case :P

bamacoop · May 2017

The problem with a lot of baby items is you never know what you or Baby will like until they get here. So we can recommend stuff to get or not get, but so much of it is up to each individual baby/mom. However... no one needs a wipe warmer or a pee pee tee pee, I'm just gonna say it!

My baby was a preemie, and so one thing we didn't have for him were preemie clothes or diapers. And so far he's stayed on track as far as clothes go. He wore NB until he was 3 months old, then wore 3month clothes, then started in 6 months clothes when he turned 6 months, etc. But every baby is different and will grow at different rates (once again, my baby was a preemie, so was a month early... so his 6 month weight would've been his 5 month weight if he had cooked all the way.)

I got my OB through a rec from a friend. But as others have said, know that your OB might not be there at delivery. I saw 3 different doctors in the same practice throughout pregnancy, so I was aware and comfortable with them.

I never took a single class, though we had some offered. Anything I wanted to know I looked up online or read in a book. I have a friend who went to a class at the hospital, but it was so basic as to be worthless. I never took a birthing class, but those might be helpful. I always planned to formula feed, so I never took a breastfeeding class. But with that, it's kind of the same with baby items. You don't know how you or Baby will take to breastfeeding until he gets here. I feel as if a book, website, mom friend, personal consultant, or just waiting until the breastfeeding helper comes in after Baby is born could also be fine. It could be helpful to look up things like what a normal baby temp is, signs of illness in babies, info on medication, vaccines, etc. But all of that can be found online for free!

ohmickey331 · May 2017

Don't wash all the clothes you get right away,and don't take tags off till you're ready for them to wear them. My son came out pretty big and was in NB for only 2 weeks he went right into 0-3 and then was always a size or two ahead so he had clothes that were too small for the season we bought so it was helpful that we could take them back to the store.
We also did not do any classes as my OB says they are pretty pointless.
As far as favorite items, I'm not sure fisher price still makes them but it was a little lion that clings to the car window. I dubbed him stripper lion and lots of girls on my last bmb got them and loved them as well. Really helped when baby was crying while driving. We love Tula baby carriers and rings slings major life saver for us. My son liked being held so the mammaroo we have was never really used but my dogs liked it haha. I'd also suggest getting a great stroller we have the uppababy Vista which is amazing! For bottles since I do not breastfeed we like the doctor brown bottles and they came out with new ones I think last year where you can remove the valve.

vvitchhazel · May 2017

I knew someone would say a wipe warmer! My daughter is 15.5 months and we still use hers. We actually bought a new one a couple months ago because our old one was getting kinda funky. They're not very expensive and I just think it's a nice luxury. It's not needed, but it's nice.

txmomma16 · May 2017

On the wipe warmers - I've had several mom friends suggest against them. Mainly because you aren't always going to have it available, if you're not at home 24/7. If you have to do a diaper change in a store bathroom, it would be easier if the baby is adjusted instead of getting shocked by a cold wipe that they don't usually have.

@vvitchhazel It sounds like you've had a good experience, so I'm interested to hear how you managed those times you weren't at home and couldn't use a warm wipe.

vvitchhazel · May 2017

@txmomma16 Lol, I actually do have a solution for this... I stick a couple wipes under my boobs to warm them up before I change DD. My husband just squeezes them in his fist to take the chill off or runs them under some hot water.

bamacoop · May 2017

I was told that babies like what they're used to (I mean...that's basically adults too) so if you don't get them used to something they won't want it. So that's how I feel about wipe warmers. Since they aren't necessary, I didn't want one. But if I used one and got Baby used to only having warm wipes, then I'd have to always have them warm, even if it was inconvenient.

And I'm all about doing what's most convenient for the parent.

It was the same with bottles. Since we do formula, we always only used room temp water, so Baby would get used to and prefer that. I didn't want to have to heat up bottles every three hours. Of course, that's different for breastfed babies, since I assume the milk they're getting is warm from the breast. So they'd want it warm from the bottle too.

ohmickey331 · May 2017

@bamacoop I do room temp too, so much easier and not having to worry if you're out and about trying to find somewhere to warm up formula.

lablover920 · May 2017

@bamacoop We do formula as well and did room temp from the beginning. Life was so much easier not having to worry about warming a bottle.

peachy13 · May 2017

I've been cramping a bit in the last week or so... it's not worrying me since it's not painful and feels a bit more like period cramps with sometimes a little pinch here and there. Is this RLP or just my uterus expanding? Is it normal that I've gone this whole time without much cramping but now around week 9 it's increasing?

JelloBean1 · May 2017

@ktcakes87 I thought I needed the cover that goes on the shopping carts and high chairs when you're out shopping or at a restaurant, but I could never get the hang of setting them up properly and my child never cared that I just put her right in the cart or high chair and I'm not squeamish about germs.

@txmomma16 and @mjdsquared I never got morning sickness with my 1st pregnancy and ::knock on wood:: I haven't had any this time around either. I would say I didn't really "feel" pregnant until I could feel the baby kicking around!

@tamalahoops I found mine through a local mom facebook group. But the one I liked at the practice wasn't able to be there for my delivery, so make sure to meet all the doctors in the practice so you don't have a stranger delivering the baby.

@camomile_june We did them at the hospital we delivered at and we did them around month 7 or 8.

JelloBean1 · May 2017

bamacoop said:

I was told that babies like what they're used to (I mean...that's basically adults too) so if you don't get them used to something they won't want it. So that's how I feel about wipe warmers. Since they aren't necessary, I didn't want one. But if I used one and got Baby used to only having warm wipes, then I'd have to always have them warm, even if it was inconvenient.
And I'm all about doing what's most convenient for the parent.
It was the same with bottles. Since we do formula, we always only used room temp water, so Baby would get used to and prefer that. I didn't want to have to heat up bottles every three hours. Of course, that's different for breastfed babies, since I assume the milk they're getting is warm from the breast. So they'd want it warm from the bottle too.

I breastfed for 7 months, then supplemented with formula until 12 months and I never heated it up and my kid didn't care at all lol. She drank both with no problem.

tmk0325 · May 2017

@ktcakes87 Since we are having babies during peak cold and flu season, I would highly highly recommend putting a Nose Frida on your registry. If you don't know what it is google it. It's sooo much better than the bulb sucker thingys! We also use are bottle warmer daily. My boys will take their formula cold now, but they liked it warm for the most part. We splurged and got the Dr. Brown one, love it. Also, if you are formula feeding, get a doctor brown formula mixing pitcher. It's amazing and makes it so much easier to pre-make bottles! Let's see...what else was a must. Oh we love our wubbanubs too. Makes it so much easier than not having to worry about finding the little pacifier all the time and also swaddle me swaddlers with the velcro. Especially helpful if you have a baby that likes to be swaddled!

wabash15 · May 2017

Ohhh I second @tmk0325 we could not live without our nose frida! it gets used so much DD holds it up to her nose for us to suction! I also second the swaddles with velcro so much easier especially in the middle of the night!

failuretofly · May 2017

@tmk0325 @ktcakes87 I have the hydrasense nasal suction thing and it is AMAZING! I still use it when DS gets a cold now at 15 months!

acgonzalez22 · May 2017

@peachy13 I had cramping the entire 1st tri with DS and so far with this one as well. Everything is expanding/stretching and hormones are all over the place. If you can't talk or breathe, or have spotting with the cramps, that warrants a call to your Dr. If they don't go away with increased water or changing positions, I would call as well. My RLP is usually sharp and lasts a few seconds and isn't constant.
Always editing bec I can't spell.

peachy13 · May 2017

@acgonzalez22 thanks!

ameliabedelia-2 · May 2017

@peachy13, RLP is usually on one side and it happens when you stand up, cough, sneeze....any sudden movements. It's more of a stabby pain than cramping.

@ktcakes87, I have sooooo much junk I didn't use. Receiving blankets, the diaper storage hanging thing that I never remember to fill, cutesy changing pad covers (they always get poopy/pissy, the plastic ones just wipe off), baby bath towels, fancy baby bath, the mamaroo (DD loved the swing), any fancy clothes/dresses/hard to button/snap anything

Things I can't live without....sound machine, a comfortable glider, a swing that plugs in, a forehead thermometer, zip-up footed pjs, bottle warmer, muslin blankets and SwaddleMe blankets, a video monitor, Snuza Hero or Angelcare monitor (monitors breathing...but I am a crazy like that), a good double breast pump, a diaper pail (untill the diapers get super stinky), and rock n'play. Whatever you do....get a rock n play.

TigerCakes · May 2017

@breezybee I got my hair colored worth my son and I just got it colored 2 weeks ago when I was 6 weeks pregnant. I get it colored every 2 months and will continue to do so because I can't stand my grey hairs!

I agree with @ameliabedelia-2 get the rock and play! We did not register for one, but my SIL bought it for us. It was a lifesaver and because it was so light weight and folds up we would often bring it with us places to have somewhere to lay the baby.

@camomile_june I did one class at about 32 weeks which covered a little bit of everything including infant cpr, basic baby care, labor/delivery and a hospital tour. I found it through the hospital that I delivered at and really enjoyed it.

MJDsquared · May 2017

Is it possible to have RLP at 5-6 weeks as a FTM? I've read it's normally a second trimester thing, and I've seen STMs on TB talking about feeling it earlier, but the other day I said "NO" very forcefully to my dog and had a quick sharp pain where my leg meets my groin. It happened again another time that I moved but I don't remember exactly what I was doing.

ameliabedelia-2 · May 2017

@TigerCakes, we are getting a second! One for our bedroom and one for downstairs/traveling. My daughter slept in it for 5 months!

TigerCakes · May 2017

@ameliabedelia-2 My son slept in it for months too! I like the idea of getting a second one so I don't have to carry it up and down the stairs every day.

Marley629 · May 2017

@ktcakes87 I thought a lot of the stroller extras were necessary and I never ended up using them (like the net and plastic cover). My advice is to not register for the baby wipe warmer - I think it pisses baby off more than anything Bc it's not always going to be handy so when you aren't home and you have a cold wipe, baby's gonna be shocked lol. My other suggestion is if you plan to use bottles, don't register for a lot. Get 1 of a couple types because you won't know what baby will like. We ended up trying 6 bottles before settling with dr browns. Things I do suggest: fisher price rock and play, nose frida, colic calm drops, & if FF feeding, dr browns mixing jug (saves so much time)

@breezybee I think a lot of others have answered this already but hair highlights is considered safe. I'm getting them done Friday and I can't wait!

bkrahn · May 2017

@breezybee I am a hairstylist and it is totally safe to get your hair coloured while pregnant! A lot of people worry about it, but it doesn't penetrate your skin in any way. One thing that can be an issue is that sometimes your hormones actually change your hair structure a bit when pregnant so if you're used to colouring your hair a certain way every time, sometimes the hair actually reacts differently to colour or bleach so you might notice it doesn't look exactly the same as you're used to. I have a coworker who has always been platinum blonde, but whenever she is pregnant, her hair always bleaches more yellow and she finds it's harder to stay platinum during those months. But not everyone will notice changes in their hair if they change colours or techniques with every service. The other thing is that if you're getting balayage done, some bleaches are quite strong to smell.. so like others have said, make sure you're in a well ventilated area of the salon and you'll be fine

jljeanblanc · May 2017

Agree on the rock n play! DD slept in that thing for the first few months. Also, get a few different swaddles and practice! This can be a lifesaver and the only way some babies will sleep.

Also, a video monitor. They are expensive, but we are still using ours 2.5 years in. Seeing not just hearing them can help you decide your next move (do I go in or not?)

tamaraaaa · May 2017

Don't buy onesies with buttons... That's my best STM advice! And if someone gives them to you, they aren't your friend.

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