IF/Testing Weekly Check-in 5/1

LoveInDC · May 2017

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (If you've been):

Cycle/CD:

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)

How are things going?

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?

leekat14 · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): endometriosis

Cycle/CD: cycle 17... CD 9

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): tww

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Clomid + trigger shot + TI, Acupuncture, pnv, pineapple core

How are things going? I'm really stressed about this cycle. If AF comes then testing begins and meds get ordered for IVF. I'm petrified of needles, I spent my whole weekend trying to figure out how I would make it through this process.

Any questions? Did anyone do genetic testing for cystic fibrosis, SMA or fragile x? Trying to decide if I will do it, please share why you did or didn't.

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?
I'm not really a fan of Disney however I grew up close to cedar point and love rollercoasters!

LoveInDC · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): Anovulatory/NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 4 (month 7) / CD19

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): "WTO"

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Last cycle before first medication cycle.

How are things going? Today is the shitty day where my body tries to trick me into thinking I O'd. I had the dip CD18, the spike this morning over what would be my CL. It's a complete mindfuck and I'm doing everything I can not to believe it. But until I temp tomorrow and it drops, it's hard to fight off hope that I'm a SS.

Any questions?

GTKY: I love roller coasters and theme parks. I've been to Hershey Park more than 40 times. I've been to a few other parks, but Hershey still has a special place in my heart.

@leekat14 Hugs for IVF anticipation and stress. FX you're a SS. If not, sending you all the strength to make it through the needles and treatment. I know @vflux33 is going through genetic testing right now and recent grad @adirat was Dx with fragile x. I'll leave it to them and others to answer your question.

heatherdubrow · May 2017

@leekat14 I really hope this is your cycle. But if you have to do IVF you will get through it, I promise. Myself, and I'm sure all the other wonderful ladies who have gone through IVF ( @tamalahoops, @eggplantface, @laurad75 to name a few) would be happy to talk you through everything. I totally understand the anxiety though. So many hugs!

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 18/No clue

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Waiting for FET.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)

Doing BCPs for 3 weeks, starting lupron on the 13th, then estrogen and progesterone.

How are things going?

Meh. Just waiting right now.

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?

I Love them!! I can't get enough

shortstack930 · May 2017

@leekat14 I'm so sorry you're stressing. I'm sure the other IVF ladies will give you great advice but you have hugs and support from me during this tough time.

@LoveInDC fx that you O'd and this cycle is better than your last!

@heatherdubrow the waiting game sucks but I'm very excited for you!

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained secondary IF

Cycle/CD: 17/don't know

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO I think

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) two weeks until we see the RE!! Just anxiously awaiting the appointment and taking a break from TTC this cycle.

How are things going? I've been feeling so much less stressed this cycle and I feel like DH and I are in such a good place now that we're not forcing sex all the time. We're enjoying each other and I've been making TTC less of a priority so my mood has lifted a lot.

Any questions? nope

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? Love them!!! I used to cry as a kid when I was too short to ride.

heatherdubrow · May 2017

@shortstack930 Thats so great that you and your H are doing so well. IF is so hard on relationships, I love that you've taken the pressure off for a while!

LoveInDC · May 2017

@heatherdubrow I’m sorry you’re on standby FX the time flies for you.

@shortstack930 Thanks! I’m excited for your RE appointment It’s so awesome that you and YH were able to reconnect NTNP. It can be such a mood lifter to have the pressure off.

zwink1 · May 2017

Hey hey, I'm finally on the ball this week.

@leekat14 hugs to you for the anticipation stress. My RE assures me that the needles are tiny...though I'm not sure I believe her and also, that doesn't really help if you're scared of needles. That's like saying, "oh, don't worry, it's just a tiny spider." FX this is your cycle and you can avoid the needles. If not, sending you all of my good vibes!

@heatherdubrow I was sorry to see that you had to come back here. It's nice to see you, though of course I wish it were better circumstances.

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI & ovulatory dysfunction

Cycle/CD: 18 (26ttl)/12

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):
WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)
See below....

How are things going?

I gave up on charting this cycle. Crate training our foster dog has had me up and out of bed early the last three days and I haven't been able to temp for 2 of the 3. It's fine, I think I need a break anyway.

H and I had an explosive fight last night, well, mostly I yelled and he condescendingly said, "do you feel better now?" No. I don't. Because I wasn't actually yelling about what's really bothering me, and H has this habit of "apologizing" without actually listening to what's wrong because he just wants the argument to be over. In my mind, this solves nothing.

He still has not gone to get his follow up bloodwork or scheduled his ultrasound. It's been over six weeks. My big problem is, he doesn't talk about it. Any of it. He refuses to talk about IVF and barely participates in the conversation if I start talking about our IF situation. It's like he's just continuing to ignore it, but he has to have some thoughts on it.

Truth is, this fight has been building for a while, and it was boiling over this weekend. One of our dogs was sick and he immediately jumps to worst case scenario and says he doesn't want to have to decide if we spend thousands of dollars to remove a blockage (spoiler alert....she doesn't have a blockage and just needed some fluids and anti-nausea meds). I had to fight very had to restrain myself from blowing a gasket right then and there. We can't talk about IVF because, in his head, we're "not there yet" but you're fine with jumping to the end game everywhere else in life? Ugh.

Any questions?
Nope.

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?
I'm ambivalent about them most of the time, but I am dying to get to Harry Potter world in FL!

leekat14 · May 2017

@heatherdubrow Thank you for the encouragement. This is why you guys rock! My Dr does a frozen transfer too..so this will be spread out over two or more months.

@loveindc FX for O!!! Hershey Park is so fun too!

@shortstack930 Yay for being in a better place and getting into your RE soon!!

leekat14 · May 2017

@zwink1 and others....this weekend I looked at all of the videos from Meghan's IVF journey on Instagram (from RHOC)...I don't know if it made things better or worse!!!

@zwink1 I'm sorry about your fight and the sick dog...what a weekend. I feel you on the lack of talking with DH. It's hard to know what he's thinking when I don't get much info out of him. I feel ya girl!

MrsJ2410 · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR

Cycle/CD: 17/1

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I went to RE this morning as instructed on CD1 to start stims, however she found a cyst in my left ovary, so I am doing BCP and testosterone cream until Friday and then will hopefully be starting everything else then.

How are things going? This weekend was extremely difficult, my job is terrible and I got into a huge screaming match with my boss on Thursday which really had me questioning whether to stay here at all. Which makes me bitter because I took this job thinking I would be here for a year or so and get pregnant and then leave. Its been two years and I am still not pregnant and I am miserable and feel that the stress of it has a really negative impact on everything I am doing medically. I also had to spend yesterday with my aunt and uncle who's daughter is having an unplanned baby in one month at 19, and listen to how easy her pregnancy has been and how little weight she has gained.

Any questions? Not yet, but probably after Friday

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? I used to LOVE roller coasters, and while I haven't been to a theme park to test this, I do have a recurring stress nightmare where I am in a roller coaster without a strap, so I don't know if I will still love them.
@leekat14 sorry you are feeling so stressed, hoping you can find some peace.
@LoveInDC Sorry for the mindfuck feelings.
@shortstack930 good to hear you and DH are in such a good place!

heatherdubrow · May 2017

@leekat14 Great! Frozen transfers have shown to be more effective in some studies.

@loveindc and @zwink1 thanks ladies!

kiwi2628 · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): tentative unexplained IF

Cycle/CD: 10/3

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I have my saline sono and follow up meeting with my RE on Wednesday. My nurse called on Friday to get me to start BC this cycle so they can get me in a 'holding pattern' until insurance approval comes in so they can start right away and I was like 'um...no. Not starting anything until the follow up with the doctor', so I need to talk to my RE about that. I do not want to feel like I am on an IF assembly line.

How are things going? Otherwise from above, pretty good! I have the rest of today, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and a half day Saturday until I leave for Croatia/Bosnia/Montenegro so I am SO EXCITED for babymoon #2!

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?

I dont like them. They are really overpriced, the food is generally terrible and unhealthy and the rides arent fun to me, nor are the games.

laurad75 · May 2017

@leekat14 I’m sorry your stressing so much about the process. The injections are intimidating but they are easier than you think and once you get used to the routine its NBD. Plus, you will likely get over your fear of needles, so there’s that. We did PGS testing, mostly because I’m over 40 which increases the risk of chromosomal abnormalities (which increases risk of MC). It often means you will need to do FET rather than fresh but many doctors prefer FET anyway. More waiting. FX for you!

@shortstack930 Good for you! It’s so important to take some chill time during something stressful like this but it’s not easy. Enjoy it.

@zwink1 I’m really sorry about your fight with H. It can be so stressful on a relationship especially if you aren’t communicating. Can you request some time with him to talk about it? Even if it’s just 20 minutes or so (and then time it so you keep to the promise of a short conversation) just so you can calmly talk about how you are feeling and why it’s so important to you that he finishes his testing. All couples are different but I know when my H and I fight I don’t ‘hear’ anything he is saying, all I hear is yelling and I get defensive or shut down – not productive. Maybe if it’s a calm conversation that you both agree to you can have a more productive discussion.

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR

Cycle/CD: CD 27

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Natural cycle; gearing up for IVF round 3

How are things going? I tested this morning - BFN. I feel like I'm going to get my period at any moment. Also work is super busy and we are moving this weekend so I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Any questions? Does anyone have an awesome 18 month planner? I'm looking online for a one and haven't found the perfect fit. Also amazon has a bunch of really pretty ones that would be perfect but they are specifically called 'mom planners' with MOM columns all over it so I'm like:

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/10Pj0OFiQieaf6/giphy.gif

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? I love them. H and I took our nephew to 6 flags for his 12th birthday last year and we rode over 40 roller coasters throughout the day. It was amazing.

kiwi2628 · May 2017

@leekat14 I did genetic testing for EVERYTHING. For us, if we are going to possibly have a disease where the child dies a slow, agonizing death at the age of 3, we want to prevent that, or if we could possibly have a child with significant medical/physical needs, we wanted to be prepared for that and TBH *TW*, be prepared to have an abortion for something truly terrible if need be

@heatherdubrow While I obviously wish you werent back here, I am excited to see you back here and starting to try again! Fx this time

@zwink1 hugs, I am so sorry about your fight. I am glad your pooch is doing better though.

saralee797-2 · May 2017

Anyone know when you usually stop BCP before starting stimms? Long story short - I saw a doc this morning who I have never seen before and he seemed to imply that I should have already stopped?!?! I had a baseline us this morning and am scheduled to start stimming on Friday. I am waiting on a call from the nurse while simultaneously yelling at insurance about my meds which are ON HOLD. I am having a day!

haylsbayls-2 · May 2017

Hi ladies. Sadly I am jumping in here after a diagnosis on Friday. It's weird because I have been lurking this thread the most during my bump break because it weirdly calms me to see how strong you all are! And now here I am, joining the group but not feeling nearly as strong.

Diagnosis (If you've been): septate uterus? The RE told me I had a "wall" in my uterus that needs to be removed and google tells me this is a septate uterus.

Cycle/CD: 8/17

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TTA .. benched for a few months I think.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Avoiding this cycle since I was given an 85% chance of miscarrying. On a waitlist for surgery to remove the septum in May but most likely waiting until June for the surgery.

How are things going? Not good. I'm glad I was lucky enough to see an RE earlish (8 cycles in) but devastated over the diagnosis.

Any questions? So many. I'm expecting a call back from my RE today. Has anyone heard of this before? Anyone had the surgery?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?
I used to love them but haven't been in a few years. Six flags and busch gardens were my favorite though.

haylsbayls-2 · May 2017

@kiwi2628 so jealous about your vacation!!! I hope you have an amazing time.

@LoveInDC I have my fingers crossed so hard that you are a SS! If not, I hope this cycle goes quick so you can start your medicated cycle and hopefully it will get your body to where it needs to be.

kiwi2628 · May 2017

@haylsbayls so sorry to see you here. I do have a friend that had a septate uterus. For 2 years she TTC and *TW* got pregnant 4 times in that period and had a MC with each one. She finally went to an RE and the RE found it. She needed 2 surgeries to have it completely removed and she got pregnant 3 months (naturally, no meds needed) after they told her it was ok to try (I think they made her wait 4 months post surgery to try, but I am not sure). The surgery wasnt bad for her at all and she said recovery was quick and easy. Fx you can get in in May.

adirat · May 2017

@leekat14 As @loveindc said I had genetic testing done. I'm glad I did it because I would rather know. Be prepared you may get bad, complicated, or confusing news. But everyone I know (in real life and online) is glad to have done it. Mine was covered by insurance if that helps you make a decision.

@haylsbayls I'm so sorry to see you here and hear about your dx. Did they give you any info about your chances after the surgery? Thinking of you and hoping for the very best my friend

Big hugs to all you ladies. Pulling for you

laurad75 · May 2017

@saralee797-2 My first IVF cycle I was on bcp for just under 3 weeks and my second cycle I was on them for 14 days. Sometimes it is to suppress the ovaries prior to stimulation or to have your cycle line up with the clinic's schedule if they batch IVF cycles. I have also received conflicting information about how long I would be on bcp and its really frustrating. I hope you get some answers soon!

@haylsbayls I don't know anything about your diagnosis but I'm sorry you are here. Have they given you any information about the removal procedure?

vflux33 · May 2017

Almost put this in a PM but typing here in case a lurker is interested. Feel free to skip if you aren't interested in this or are sick of hearing me freak out about genetics in this thread.

@leekat14That's a really specific set of genetic issues you're interested in testing for--are you in an ethnic risk group for those, or are they in your family, or did your doctor only mention those specifically for some other reason? My RE automatically tested MH and I both for the cystic fibrosis gene because of European descent, and she also tested me for 3 conditions more common for people of Ashkenazi descent (it's one of those 3, Canavan Disease, that I tested positive for and now we are testing MH). She didn't give us the option of not testing like my OB she just ordered the tests so I never made a "choice". I didn't give genetic testing much thought before, but I'm glad we caught what we did and it motivated MH and I to get 23andme and test for other mutations not covered by our insurance (I heard Counsyl is also good).

With IVF you can try to avoid a potential genetic issue with PGS and/or PGD. *TW You can also roll the dice and test when KU and then will be given a chance to terminate if the fetus is afflicted. The decision is very personal. If you are a planner cautious type like me and want as much info as possible upfront you might lean toward testing, especially if you are prepared to act on possibly upsetting information. If you are religious and leave it up to fate type you might prefer to roll the dice and take what happens. MH and I decided we will do whatever we can to avoid a genetic problem. I'm so impressed by the patience and dedication of parents of special needs kids, but I don't personally want to bring a child into this world who can never have a normal life, and in many cases, including the disease I have the mutation for, will die very young. Technology has come a long way and I'm taking advantage of that. *End TW

TL; DR yes because screw fate.

LoveInDC · May 2017

@zwink1 I’m sorry you and YH are on different pages of this IF journey. Some people just shut down when they hit a wall and would rather deny than admit there’s a problem and how serious that problem could be. Have you guys every considered going to a counselor together so there’s someone to mediate your conversations?

@MrsJ2410 I’m sorry your TTC stress is pouring over into your professional life. It’s so hard to keep things separate. I’ll be thinking of you this week and crossing my fingers for a good update on Friday!

@kiwi2628 FX for your meeting on Wednesday! That trip sounds AMAZING

Can’t wait to hear how it goes!

@laurad75 Hugs for looming AF

@haylsbaysls I’m so sorry you’re here friend

Sending all my hugs. I’m glad you were able to see an RE so quickly. FX you get in for surgery soon and you can put this behind you

saralee797-2 · May 2017

@laurad75 When you were on bcp did you come off them and get a period before starting stimms or just start stimms and stop bcp the same day?

ETA: Also I just read your post and I am sorry for the BFN but hopefully AF gets here soon and you can start again. Hugs!

haylsbayls-2 · May 2017

@kiwi2628 @adirat @laurad75 Thanks ladies

I am expecting a call back today so I can ask the questions I should have asked on Friday. It was a combination of the doctor being busy/me being too overwhelmed to ask questions. The good news is that the prior testing showed good AMH/FSH levels and DH's SA also had decent results. Of course the downside is that my hopes are extremely high for when we are cleared to continue trying.
I do consider myself lucky that I didn't have to go through repeated MC's to get to this diagnosis and that it was found early.

vflux33 · May 2017

@LoveInDC I feel you on the body tricking you thing. Between waiting for MH's test results and being sick I didn't temp this cycle and now I have no clue whether I O'd or when to expect AF. Stupid bodies.

@heatherdubrow GL getting through the waiting around for the FET!

@shortstack930 Yay for less stress! Yeah non TTC sex is like a whole other world...

@zwink1 Sorry about your argument. Communication is so important and it's unbelievably frustrating when one person is putting less effort into talking things out that the other. Maybe he thinks if he doesn't get the b/w it isn't "really" happening, but so unfair to leave you in the lurch like that. Hope he comes to his senses.

@MrsJ2410 Ugh that sucks. I've also made questionable career decisions based on "of course I'll be KU by this time" mentality and I regret it too. Getting into screaming matches with people who have power over you is the worst. Sorry about the cyst

@kiwi2628 I would've done the same thing with the BCP. Fuck being on extra drugs longer than needed "just in case". Uh, no, how about you give me the minimum amount of things that screw up my hormones, thanks. Your trip sounds so awesome though! How long will you be gone?

@laurad75 Sorry for the BFN. And fuck "mom planners"--I've never seen those, wow.

@haylsbayls I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Never heard of that one before. Do you know if you're likely to get KU without intervention after, or will you need to go the medicated route? Will you be benched for awhile after the surgery too? Welcome to the thread, but obviously sorry you are here.
ETA sorry I take forever to type so didn't see your response until after I posted. GL with that call --will be good to get more info.

Diagnosis (If you've been): ovulation disorder

Cycle/CD: 12 cycles 14 months/ CD 21

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Still waiting for MH’s genetic test results (aaaany day now)

How are things going? OK. Anxious about getting MH's results and getting back on track, but trying not to wallow.

Any questions? Not for now.

GTKY How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? I loved them when I was a kid but pretty sure they'd give me a heart attack now so no thanks!

kiwi2628 · May 2017

@vflux33 We will be gone 2 weeks, and then I am back for 1 week, and then we are off to Acadia (Maine) for a week and a half.

eggplantface · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): Unknown, probably MFI

Cycle/CD: I lost count, and CD is N/A, on BCP

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): On BCP until I manage to get a polyp removed

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) FET

How are things going? I didn't update last week for entirely selfish reasons--I managed to get on TB on Tuesday and there were already 90 posts and I thought "I'm wallowing too much in my own misery to have the energy to read those." So I'm wallowing a bit because my FET was pushed off to remove a polyp, and I can't even tell how long it'll be pushed because I can't get the damn doctor's office on the phone to ask them if the "hysteroscope" I have scheduled for Monday will involve a polypectomy, or if I have to wait another two weeks for an appointment to do that after the scope. So I'm incredibly frustrated at how much longer this is being dragged out because I am subject to doctors' schedules. My RE said he asked for the pelvic surgeon to get me in "ASAP" but three weeks' wait hardly seems like ASAP. I had brunch with my best friend yesterday and she was all giddy about the FET and she said "I'm so excited for you! Aren't you excited?" and H and I both went "Nah, not after all this. We'll be excited when we get a positive pregnancy test." Because yeah, I'm numb now. I'm just a ball of cheer, huh?

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters?
I love roller coasters! More so the old wooden rickety ones that vibrate and feel like they're going to fall apart than the new ones that go upside down.

vflux33 · May 2017

@kiwi2628 Awesome! Have an amazing time on both trips!

@eggplantface That sucks so much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you mentioned this at some point before, but do you have a history of polyps, or is this your first? Do you need to have a lot of downtime after they remove it?

[Deleted User] · May 2017

@leekat14 Sorry you're feeling anxious for IVF and needles - I found it calming to look on YouTube and watch other women do the injections. Instead of watching the needle, I watched their faces. You can tell that it's not the end of the world.
@LoveInDC Ugh fakeout Os. Honestly after realizing they were fakeouts I just totally stopped temping. It's not helpful.
@heatherdubrow Looks like you will be about one week ahead of me in our cycles!
@shortstack930 I'm glad you're able to relax a bit more with your H! I really enjoyed when we were able to start doing that as well.
@zwink1 Yikes, I'm really sorry that you're having these struggles with your H. It sounds like you need to plan for a long discussion so you guys can work towards getting on the same page - figure out specifics of what he would need to do to feel IVF was a priority, make sure he fully understands where you are emotionally as well...
@MrsJ2410 Girl I relate so much to your frustrations. I had all these plans too and IF just F'ed them all so hard.
@kiwi2628 Why the resistance to BC? I think it could be really nice to make sure you're on the correct schedule so that as soon as you get the go ahead you can immediately jump right in. I had to wait an extra month and half because my cycle was off, which meant I had to go on and off BC and it really messed with my hormones - which at this point I really didn't need any more of. If you think you will get the go ahead in the next two months I would get on that BC.
@laurad75 *hugs* Stupid BFN, Stupid AF. Sending you love.
@saralee797-2 BCP supresses ovulation so obviously you don't want to be on it WHILE stimming, since stimming is supposed to stimulate ovulation. I'm looking at my schedule and I will go off bc just a few days before I start stims, so i don't think it needs to be too long.
@haylsbayls well shit. I am so sorry to see you here and sorry for your Dx. For what it's worth (not much, probably right now) all the women I have known who had that condition did get KU after their surgery. I am so, so sorry that you have to deal with this. Just know that we are here to hold your hand and support you the whole way.

AFM

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: Ummm because of BCP I'm on cycle 15 I think now. CD 3.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): BCP

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) On BCP until May 19th and then I'll start stims and all that good stuff for my egg retrieval!

How are things going? Getting excited finally, albeit still very, very cautious. I keep reminding myself that I have a 50-60% chance of the first cycle not working so it's important to stay realistic... but also I think there's room for excitement.

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? I am okay with parks and small roller coasters - but nothing SUPER high and nothing that goes upsidedown. nope nope nope.

haylsbayls-2 · May 2017

@antoto That is actually really good to hear and thank you

As always, I am rooting for you and hoping IVF gives you your sticky bean

You have a 50-40% chance of your first cycle working! Definitely enjoy the excitement while you have it but staying cautious is smart.

@vflux33 no problem, I assume I will be benched but I will come update once I hear back from the RE. It sucked having a full two days to google the shit out of this without much information from the doctor. Note to self: no more Friday afternoon appointments.

kiwi2628 · May 2017

@antoto because I am going to be gone for the whole month of May, so I wont be doing any treatment anyway, andplusalso, I need to get pre-approval done with my insurance first. If my doctor had waited to talk to me, they would have known that, but they just went ahead and had the nurse tell me to come in to get a pg test done so I could start it without discussing it with me at all and that is what annoys me. Also, I HATE myself on BC, so I want to minimize any time I am on it, not be on it an extra ____ weeks just for their convenience. Also I am so excited that this is your month to start!!!!!

[Deleted User] · May 2017

@eggplantface GRRRRR to the "excited!!!" comments. I've also had several people be like "You're doing IVF??? THAT'S SO EXCITING" and in my head I'm like "yeah, SUPER excited for the dozens of injections, the wild mood swings, the scary egg retrieval, spending 12k+, and the very possible scenario of a BFN after all that!!! WOOFUCKINGHOO! Like obviously, as I mentioned in my own post I'm feeling some excitement, but it's not the same excitement those people mean. They mean "it's so exciting that you're about to be pregnant!" which is a shitty thing to say to someone about to go through IVF.

People are dumb.

sunniegrly · May 2017

@leekat14 - Hugs. I'm sorry you're so stressed out. I'm not going to tell you to stop stressing over it because I get really mad when people tell me not to worry about something I have every right to worry about. Just try to take care of yourself and create a few moments every day when you're not worrying about it.

@zwink1 - I'm having a similar prob with DH. My anxiety disorder makes me a bit of a hypochondriac, so it's partly my fault I guess. DH refuses to believe anything is wrong with me despite the fact that, yeah, something is definitely wrong since I'm not ovulating. I guess they just want to live in denial-land for a while longer.

@shortstack930 - Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself more now that some of the pressure is off!

@laurad75 - Screw those stupid planners!!!

Diagnosis (If you've been): secondary amenorrhea (cause unknown pending testing)

Cycle/CD: cycle 2 (month 4)/ CD 4

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): "WTO" - progesterone/Provera challenge showed that I'm not ovulating so, yeah, prob not going to happen.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Blood work/tests being done on May 18 to try to figure out what's wrong with me.

How are things going? Meh. Better...and yet not better. It's a relief to finally have gotten AF from the Provera (although WOW is a period after you haven't had one for 3 months a complete and total MISERY). At least we now know I'm producing estrogen. DH doesn't quite seem to understand the situation and doesn't really want to talk about it. My mom doesn't really seem to understand it either. She said "well, I'm sure your tests will come out normal." Ok but 1) you can't be sure of that, and 2) even if they come out normal, I'm still not ovulating. She seemed pretty shocked when I told her I wasn't ovulating. And I think I'm already just going ahead and grieving. I've had more wine over the past 3 days than I've had in years (I rarely drink more than once every few months). I feel very lonely and angry and afraid. I'm thankful for you ladies, though.

Any questions? Nope.

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? Love them! (Although, I haven't been to one in years.) I want to go to the Harry Potter park and, when they're done making it, the Star Wars park.

zwink1 · May 2017

@leekat14, @laurad75, @kiwi2628, @LoveInDC, @vflux33, and @antoto Thanks for the love ladies. Overall, this journey has really brought us closer together. It's just this balance I'm trying to find between having the communication I need and providing the space he needs that frustrates me. We've tried the setting aside a block of time each week technique. It didn't work. We haven't tried counseling, though I've definitely thought about it. I just need to know what's going on in his head, and I feel like he's not totally sure, which is why he doesn't say anything. I need to sit and write down my thoughts today so that we can have a constructive conversation when he gets home tonight.

@MrsJ2410 I'm sorry that you are having boss/work troubles. I was in an absolutely awful work situation up until the end of March (when I was unceremoniously let go after much turmoil). It's so stressful and makes everything else all the more miserable.

@kiwi2628 I'll just be over here all jealous about your vacations. They sound amazing! I hope you have a blast!

@haylsbayls, I'm sorry for your diagnosis. Hopefully the surgery resolves everything and you can get back to TTC quickly.

@eggplantface. That sucks, I'm sorry that you are in hold and facing another roadblock. FX it's quickly resolved and you can get back to your FET!

laurad75 · May 2017

@saralee797-2 for both cycles I stopped bcp and waited for another cycle to start (they would sometimes call it a withdrawal bleed). On CD 1 I would call, go in for bw/ us on CD 2 and start meds the evening of CD 2.

@eggplantface Ugh - I'm sorry for the delay. It's interesting how unless you have personal experience with IF treatments you just assume they will result in a baby rather than heartbreak and a drained bank account.

leekat14 · May 2017

@laurad75 I really hope I can get past the needles but I pass out all the time so I'm not sure I will! Dr pushes the frozen transfer so we don't really get a choice!

@kiwi2628 Thank you! We are leaning towards all of the testing but since everything will be out of pocket it is one of those stop and think moments for me.

@sunniegrly Thank you...I have to remember to step back, especially this month when, other than testing, there is really nothing that I can do

@zwink1

@antoto The fact that she said it got easier made me feel better, I feel like watching the videos just helped me to see it can actually be done.

@eggplantface I'm sorry you are having to wait longer! Ugh!

@vflux33 Those were the specific ones they listed for me. My dad was adopted so I don't know a lot about my history.

@haylsbayls I'm sorry you find yourself here. Theses ladies give a lot of support though so you are in good hands!

@adirat Thanks!!! No insurance coverage which kind of sucks but I'd rather know so we will probably do it.

sunniegrly · May 2017

Update: I went ahead and made my first appointment with a RE (ok his nurse practitioner but whatever) for May 10. After I get my hormone tests done (with my OBGYN on May 18), I know the next step for me will be Clomid. From what I've heard from everyone on TB, it's WAY better to do Clomid with a RE than it is with an OBGYN. So I figure I'd better get the ball rolling on that and go ahead and have a doctor in place. My insurance prob doesn't have IF coverage (although at this point I might still skate in under the category of menstrual problems), so I'm feeling grumpy about that. But I'm also feeling better that I've at least done ONE proactive thing.

LoveInDC · May 2017

@vflux33 Bodies are stupid. Sorry you’ve been sick! FX YH’s results are here ASAP so you can start “doing” things again.

@eggplantface This thread gets so crazy, I don’t hold it against you at all not jumping in, especially since you’re having a rough go right now. Hopefully docs get their shit together. In the meantime, take care of yourself

@antoto Part of me wants to stop temping, and the other part is whispering “what if this is the SS cycle…” Ugh, it’s the worst. Luckily, I have to stop temping this weekend/next week while I’m at a conference. FX for this egg retrieval! There is definitely room for excitement, even when trying to stay grounded. Sending positive vibes your way.

@sunniegrly I just went through the 3-month period this cycle too. Not fun. But I’m glad it finally showed for you! FX your BW has some information for you. Moms can definitely be hard. When I tried to tell my mom, she kept insisting that “It’s probably endometriosis. All my friends had it and as soon as it was cleared up, they got pregnant!” Not the same thing, mom. Sigh. Congrats about being proactive about seeing an RE. I’d call your insurance and see how much leeway you have in your policy. Mine says everything at/with an RE is OOP. Others can get certain services covered at an RE that would otherwise be covered at an OB (testing, etc.). Good luck!

@zwink1 I’m glad you’re both working at it. Hopefully the stigma of counseling doesn’t keep you away. Just because you’re in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean they can’t help. I mean, I have a nose, but that doesn’t make me an ENT when it starts giving me problem. You can only solve so many things on your own before it’s better for everyone just to see an expert. I know that individual counseling for myself has helped our relationship so much. I wish DH would go with me some times or go on his own, but I'll take what I can get. FX for you guys!

[Deleted User] · May 2017

@sunniegrly Hey girl, sorry that your progesterone test showed that you had not ovulated on CD14 of your last cycle. For what it's worth, that's all that test was good for - testing if you ovulated by CD 14. Did they say what your exact number was? Was it 0? Was it just under 10? Also, you might consider waiting to see how this cycle goes before totally breaking down and giving up. last cycle may have just needed a restart and may just be a fluke. I know it's hard to be patient, but if there really is something wrong then you're in for a long ass ride and you're going to have to get it together

magnolia131 · May 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): PCOS, MFI (mildly low count, low morph)

Cycle/CD: 17/25

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Femara 5mg + Ovidrel, Metformin 1500mg, Repeat EB

How are things going? I'm trying to ward off feeling too hopeful during this TWW because hope feels dangerous. Progesterone numbers came back good last week (42.8). Beta is on Thursday so I'm trying to resist POAS at all (I've tested out my trigger enough to know it's gone, but chose to stop the testing there).

Any questions?

GTKY: How do you feel about theme parks/roller coasters? I like them. Roller coasters show my age though. I used to love them all and now I get a headache after going on even a tame one. I still enjoy theme parks though- we are in Florida, so we usually make a trip to Epcot at least once a year in the off season and it's really so much fun.

@leekat14 I'm sorry for the stress. I hope you can try and take it step by step. I know the meds can be intimidating, so just try and breathe through it and face each obstacle as it comes. I'm sorry all of this can feel so impossible at times.

@LoveInDC I hope you are a SS and O'ed. If not, I've been there and I'm sorry. Kudos for you for temping through the AO cycles. I know it can seem endless, but I think it kept me sane when I had no idea wtf was going on.

@heatherdubrow I'm so excited that you'll be doing another FET soon. Rooting so hard for you.

@shortstack930 I hope these next two weeks fly for you.

@zwink1 My husband is notorious for saying sorry and then if I ask if he can elaborate....radio silence. I hate that men do that to end the conversation. I'm sorry that your H is feeling the pressure of all of this. It can be terrible to feel shut out or like they aren't articulating their though process to you. I hope that you guys can take a step back and revisit the topic soon in a way that lets each person be really heard. Hugs.

@kiwi2628 Yeah, I waited a LONG time for my initial consult with my RE. So I'm a little worried about what happens next if this cycle is a bust. I don't want all of my next steps dished out to me by a nurse by phone (even though I love their nursing staff). I want to be able to talk through it....good for you for being adamant to not be part of an IF assembly line, as you put it. So much of this process really is advocating for yourself. GL on Wednesday!

@laurad75 I've seen the mom planners. Ugh. I'm sorry about that. I don't use an 18 month one, but I'm going office supply shopping today or tomorrow anyways so I'm happy to keep any eye out.

@haylsbayls I'm sorry that you find yourself here and for the diagnosis. I unfortunately do not know much of it, but we will be here to hold your hand while you wait. Welcome.

@vflux33 Fingers are still crossed for your H's results! I hope they hurry up so that you can get the ball rolling.

@eggplantface My love-tit is a hug. I know how long and patiently you've been waiting for this. I'm really sorry, and hope that you don't have any more roadblocks.

@antoto I always try to talk myself down with statistics and it never seems to work. I know how tough it can be to stay grounded and am sure with IVF that struggle is multiplied tenfold. I have all of the hope in the world for you though.

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