Circumcision

baby3forme · April 2017

Thoughts on circumcision? For it, against it? Why? This is something I think many moms don't understand/research well enough before making a final decision.

NO bashing, this is for everyone's educational benefit!

deeerfauxm · April 2017

We opted not to with our DS. I was of the mindset to avoid it and let DH make the call based on his perspective as a circ'd male.
I do have a friend who elected not to circ her son, and strange as it may seem, decided as an older kid he did want to be circumcised and underwent the procedure of his own choosing. Like, sure it was not painless at that time (I think there's more pain in the whole process at later age as compared to infancy, I do t think it's ever painless) but he got to make that choice for himself, and I'd rather go that route if my son wanted to later on. (Edit for clarity)

jess0211 · April 2017

@baby3forme thank you for starting this! I really need to do some more research and would be curious what others have to say. DH is pretty adamant that we circumcise

matika88 · April 2017

We had a circ done with DS, mainly for the slight health benefits. Totally personal decision, no right or wrong choice in my opinion. I let DH make the final call on this one.

safinn21 · April 2017

I agree there's no right or wrong answer here but from a medical perspective circumcision has decreased infection risk, particularly if uncircumcised kids aren't being cleaned appropriately. Circumcised adults also have less incidence of STDs. I also don't have that part though so I told my DH it's up to him and we're for it

ideamainline · April 2017

Oh man - I'm glad I saw this thread! We just found out this week that our little one is going to be a boy, so I need to start thinking about this and ask DH his opinion...

(eta for typo)

ariasbabyblog · April 2017

We opted to not circumcise either of our boys, but we may have to change that for our older son. His foreskin is too tight, so his foreskin can not retract at all which is causing infections and pain urinating. As he gets older, the head of his penis will not be able to exit the foreskin, causing pain during erections and sex. We are working on stretching his foreskin right now, but see as it is so very tight that may not work. Our younger son is just fine, his foreskin retracts just fine and he has no issues. With this child, if it is a boy, I will have the doctors check right away to see if his foreskin is too tight like my oldest's.

I feel that it is a personal choice. Yes, being uncircumcised does require more cleaning and care, but you can't undo a circumcision. There is also the social aspect of it all. Do you think your son will have issues later in school while changing in locker rooms? Personally, I don't think so as more and more families decide not to circumcise, the sight of an uncircumcised penis will become more and more commonplace.

emucoleman · April 2017

We won't do it if we have a boy. DH doesn't want to and it's a relief for me. Basically you teach the kid basic hygiene and you are good.

TeacherMama7 · April 2017

We circumsized our son and wouldn't do it again for another boy. I left it up to my husband and that's what he wanted. I was happy he made that decision because I don't need another thing to clean, it's hard enough to keep up with everything else!

I don't judge people either way and appreciate no one judging me for our choice. My sisters husband is not circ'd and they won't circ either - it doesn't matter at all to me.

Ladybentspoon · April 2017

DH is uncut, and so is DS. From an adult perspective, I do know that DH is much more sensitive than circumcised men I've been with, and my husband did not want to deprive ds of sensation later in life. It's also a cultural thing for him, and as many of us have said, I left the decision up to him.

kissthesky32 · April 2017

I'm another case of leaving this up to DH. He is a doctor and has a penis, so I felt comfortable going with his decision.

DuchessOfCambridge · April 2017

I'm leaning towards it due to religion but DH and I need to do more research first on if it's actually mandated by religion or just a thing you should do but don't have to.

Karrotelle · April 2017

We choose not to. My son is not and any future boys will not be. It's not medically necessary and I won't put my sons through that traumatic experience. I don't care if he doesn't "match" any of the other boys, because everyone's private areas are just that, private, and just like people have different eye colours, skin tones, hair colours etc, everyone has different bodies and different body parts. Their question of "Why doesn't my penis look like so and so's?" (If that question is ever even asked) can be simply answered with "Because penises can look different just like eyes or hair." And that's that.

cottingham3 · April 2017

DH and both boys are cut. My DH grew up with a dad and first cousins who are not and did feel strange being the odd man out. So, that was the main reason behind our decision. Also, as most have stated your do have to teach good hygine if they are not cut. My husband is a stickler for hygine and admitted he did not want to be checking the fourskin of a 10 year old. At the time I rolled my eyes at him, but we not have an 11 year old who we still have to check to ensure he washed his hair correctly...so he had a point!

Our youngest was born at 26 weeks and was in the nicu for almost 3 months. He was not cirumsized until two weeks before we went home. I was a bit hesitate to have it done with him being a little older but he healed quickly. The OB that did it did a sloppy job in my opinion. He has a little more skin left than my other son which means we still have "half" the battle with bathing. But, no issues from the procedure.

ShePersisted · April 2017

ariasbabyblog said:

There is also the social aspect of it all. Do you think your son will have issues later in school while changing in locker rooms? Personally, I don't think so as more and more families decide not to circumcise, the sight of an uncircumcised penis will become more and more commonplace.

I'm sorry but this part of your post is a little absurd. Why would circumsicion have any bearing on locker room stuff? Frankly all over the world there are all kinds of men cut and uncut so why would it matter. Yes someone may live in a city or country where majority are or are not but it's a little weird to say as more and more families decide not to circumsice it's going to be common. Many families also do it due to religious reasons and many just do it due to hygiene but frankly a lot of men dldont get cut and they do just fine as well. It's frankly a parental personal choice and we should not add any cosmetic value to it.

ArtificialRed · April 2017

-Writes a thing. Debates. Deletes the thing.-

I'm against the concept of circumcision. On a moral and scientific basis. I don't support religion as the sole reasoning either. I will leave it at that, but you can message me if you want the entire list of mostly scientific reasons why I came to this decision.

Tourmalily · April 2017

I am against circumcision for any reason excepting the extreme rare case that it may be medically necessary or it is the choice of the individual being circumcised.

dragonfly87-2 · April 2017

I don't want to get into a debate about it. But I am a firm believer in the family deciding whatever is best for their child, regardless of the reason for circumcision.

It is a safe, legal practice that can be performed successfully with a very high chance of no complications (yes, I know there are a small percent where there are). So if a family wants to pursue, it is their right. If they don't want to, that is fine too.

But it is no one's place, not mine, not anyone on here or anyone other's to judge, criticize, try to convince or try to scare someone into one decision or another.

FWIW, we are undecided. DH is circumcised, does not even remember the procedure (obviously) and has never had any issues. He doesn't have a strong opinion and neither do I. We won't even discuss unless we have a boy and will see what happens.

cmessamore · April 2017

All 3 of my DS's and my step DS are circumcised and we would have this LO circumcised as well if it is a boy. It is something that is done in my family and DH's family. Ultimately, I left the decision up to DH (and with the case of DS1&2 the decision went to my ex-h). It was really important to my ex and DH that their sons were the same as them in that respect. I am a firm believer that each parent should do their own research (outside of TB) and make their own decision and do what's right for them and their LO's.

ariasbabyblog · April 2017

@ShePersisted I only bring up the cosmetic aspects because to some people that is a major point either for or against. It was not a deciding factor for us, but it is for some people. I knew a young man many years ago who wasn't circumcised and wished he was because he got teased in high school locker rooms. Kids are cruel and will find anything to make fun of someone for. Just because something shouldn't be assigned a cosmetic value doesn't mean people won't do it.

c+mpeachey · April 2017

I wouldn't have my daughter circumcised, (although in some nationalities it is tradition) so on the basis of gender equality, i will not do my son's either. Also, DH is uncut and so his experience has alot of bearing on our decision.

However my first husband was cut. Our 2 sins were not. Which caused some issues at first. So i told him that if he wanted his boys to be done, he had to hold them while the dr did it instead of me. He immediately refused. Funny that.

foxaírt · April 2017

I find this thread really interesting as here in Australia it's not really common or done much outside religious practice. It's not really ever thought of as typical or a visual benefit (to me they look a bit odd circumcised)
I have met guys who were circumcised but it isn't the majority here
For us along with all other practice inflicting modification on children without their comprehension and consent that is not medically necessary and under recommendation by doctors Is not our place to choose .
But I find the different perspectives very interesting especially the non religious and growing popularity of the practice

Jsmith8484 · April 2017

I'm from NZ and also find it in interesting. Like in Aus it's not really a thing here. If you want to do it you have to have a reason and you have to pay (as the public health system won't cover it as it's not deemed to be of medical benefit in most cases). It can be quite hard in some places to find a Dr who will do it. We didn't evendors consider it for our now 20 month old and it was never offered to us as an option.

ShePersisted · April 2017

@ariasbabyblog maybe you are right. There might be more to it than I am thinking. Frankly I never thought it would matter as I grew up in a different part of the world and live in a very cosmopolitan city.

kissthesky32 · April 2017

@ariasbabyblog and @ShePersisted DH is uncirc and was teased when he was younger and even in college (some of his college friends still poke fun at him).

I realize that that I never put what our decision was above - our DS is circumcised. DH wanted to do it based on his experience and also because of hygiene. Looking past cleaning as a kid, DH has seen a lot of instances of infections in the elderly. I'm sure it's no surprise that many of our country's elderly don't get or can't afford the care they need, and foreskin infections can become a big issue.

TeacherMama7 · April 2017

@c+mpeachey I strongly disagree with your likening male circumcision to female genital mutilation. Make circumcison, for the most part, doesn't have any negative consequences and many men are happy they are circumcized. On the contrary, FGM takes away sexual pleasure and causes a myriad of problems. In this article I am linking to, it compares your comparison to ear piercing and cutting off someone's ear with a chain saw. You simply can't compare the two.

Also, I'm shocked that your doctor had you hold your baby while they circumsized them. Our son was given a local anesthesia and didn't cry when it happened. He peed, though! Haha.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/mens-health/10998633/Dont-compare-male-circumcision-with-FGM.html

TeacherMama7 · April 2017

@kissthesky32 you are right, infection can be a thing. One of my friends had to have her son circumsized in elementary school due to an infection and a kid in one of my coworkers first grade classes had to have a circumcision for the same reason. I don't think it's super common, but it does happen.

kaitieb14 · April 2017

DH works as a nurse and is in grad school becoming a DNP. He's seen a lot of cases of severe infection due to not being circumcised, especially in children and elderly patients. Last month he had a patient who had an infection so severe and had had so many before the only medical option left was amputation. That sealed the deal for him. The long term risks especially once they're older if they develop health and memory problems, which run in both of our families, that cause them to neglect hygiene we don't feel is worth it.

cmessamore · April 2017

@c+mpeachey I have to agree with @TeacherMama7 on this one. Male circumcision and female genital mutilation is totally different and not even comparable. The way it's done and the reason it's done are absolutely different. I will support your decision 100% to not have your son circumcised regardless of the reason, because it's your choice as a parent, but I encourage you to look more into the differences between the two.

I would NEVER circumcise a daughter, because there is no health benefit to it, not because of a gender discrimination. The reason FGM is just to make it so women do not feel sexual pleasure, this is not the reason for male circumcision. They remove the clitoris and labia and in many cases sew the vulva shut till the girl is ready to have sex, an easy way for them to know if the girl is a virgin and has been kept "pure". This process can actually lead to infections, rather than trying to reduce infection risk in a circumcised male. It has also been shown to cause problems with infertility, ovarian cysts, and depending on wear it's done, there procedure is not always sterile, which has spread diseases amongst the girls.

tashandma · April 2017

We have had all three of our sons circumcised. It was a no brainer for us. My uncle was the only one of his siblings that did not get circumcised and ended up with a serious infection in his 40's. He had to be circumcised then, and said it was the absolute worst pain he had ever experienced in his life. Our third baby ended up getting circumcised when he was 2 months old and i felt so bad because it was painful. I will not let that happen again-I'll make sure it's done within days of birth if we have another boy!

2Dash · April 2017

My DH is jewish and so we chose to circumcise both our DS's. I will do so again if this baby is a boy. For me cleanliness, lower risk of infection and religious reasons were decision makers as well as being like their dad.

I have a friend whose husband had to have a circumcision as a young adult and it caused pain, trauma and embarrassment. It's not something I wanted to risk with my boys.

I respect others decision to do what they feel is best, and my right to do the same.

2Dash · April 2017

Also my DS1 was circumcised by an OB who was a Rabbi and my DS2 was done by an OB at the hospital. We were pleased with both. Neither of my boys even cried and both healed perfectly. We were recommended to put vasaline on the penis for a couple weeks to help healing.

megankth · April 2017

@kaitieb14 thats an awful story! How traumatic for the poor boy! DS is circumcised and this one will be too.

CubsFan7 · April 2017

We circ'd our son and I felt soooo bad about it but I left it up to my hubby and that is what he chose. The reason he went that way was because he was not when he was born and his mom and dad didn't keep the area clean. It got infected and at 4, he had to get it done. He remembers how painful it was and didn't want his son to potentially go through the same thing.

amber0529 · April 2017

I had my first circumcised for hygiene reasons. His bio father was circ'd too so there was no argument from him. If this one is a boy I would like to have him circ'd for the same hygiene reason but my fiance is uncut so I don't think he wants it done. If he doesn't want it done than I will put him in charge of making sure our son learns hiw to properly clean himself and checking to make sure it's being done correctly.

Even with my son being circ'd he still would get diaper lint in there that I had to clean out and I'm assuming it would be even harder to do with more skin there.

BayCamp · April 2017

DS is circumcised and I was on the fence even then. Due to family emergency we had to travel the days after and recovery was just not pleasant. If this one is a boy I'd rather not, the whole thing was hard on me (DS never really seemed to be upset) but then I feel like it's weird to have one done and not the other. Also DH and all the grandparents were appalled I was even considering not doing it. Long story short, I'm praying this one is a girl.

av2323 · April 2017

I did not want to circ. We aren't religious and I saw no point. My husband did. I left the decision about an organ I'm relatively unfamiliar with to him. While I realize this is a crappy answer, we mainly did it because it's common here. Our kid would be the odd one out if he wasn't circ'd. I didn't want him to be the trailblazer so to speak. Again, I know it's a dumb reason but that was part of our decision.

bcashaw · April 2017

I have left this decision up to my DH and he has decided that we will definitely circumcise our baby if it's a boy.
He was not circumcised and ended up getting a severe infection and needing it in his twenties. His oldest son (my stepson) was also not circumcised and had the same thing when he was around 8 or 9.
Because of these two things and watching his son go through something he knew was unbearably painful he has made the decision to nip it in the bud so to speak, and get our child circumcised

DuchessOfCambridge · April 2017

I just want to jump in and say that explaining you don't see religion as a valid argument is a pretty bold statement. If you're not religious then sure, it may not be valid for you but for those who are I think that's pretty rude to say. You can just leave it at you don't agree with it, no need to pull in others beliefs. I would never turn around and say you must circumcise because I believe that's the only right thing to do. Because thats also wrong and offensive.

cottingham3 · April 2017

@av2323 I do not think it was dumb to consider this. I do not think its "dumb" to consider any of the reasons we have all mentioned.

This is a place for us to share our thoughts and process of decision making. We are not here to shame eachother or even convience eachother to come to our way of thinking. I can appreciate all opinions except those aimed at making others feel "less than" for their reasons for a decision when no one is being harmed. With that said...Saying you won't do something or don't agree with something dose NOT always mean you "judge" those who disagree with you. This is a huge problem in our world today. Dissagreement and debate can be healthy things as long as we mean no malice AND assume no malicious intent in our disagreements!

MissMonroe11 · April 2017

My DS is circumcised and we would have done it again if this one had been a boy. DH is as well. I don't know if it's a regional thing, but most people around here do circumcise. I think it's a family's personal desicion and there is no right or wrong. I certainly did not mutilate my son and find any reference to that offensive. I will say that if you plan to circumcise and your son ends up in the NICU, they will not do it in the hospital. We had to have it done as an out patient procedure a few weeks later.

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