The Great Labor Thread

lmudra · April 2017

Ask your q's. Let's do this ladies!!!!

lmudra · April 2017

So after my c section Q the other day I'm switching gears and mentally preparing myself for pushing.

1st question...Did anyone do perineum massage leading up to EDD?

kahlan82 · April 2017

I did. I have no idea if it "worked". I tore during delivery and needed 3-5 stitches. So, if I hadn't done the massage would I have torn more or would I have torn the same regardless? I really have no idea, there is no way to check it. We haven't been doing it this round. Just haven't really thought about it. Second time around is so different mentally.

mombod · April 2017

I did not but the midwife applied oil and counter pressure/massage while I pushed and I did not tear at all.

halfthetree · April 2017

You can, if you want. The biggest thing is SLOW pushing. Really focusing on breathing and not pushing, letting your uterus do the work. It is slower for sure, and hard to not just push like hell to get it over with, but that slow fetal ejection reflex will do wonders for your perineum;)

MotherofDragons · April 2017

I read the dates vs no dates thread in March and their data sample contradicted the two studies I found. I didn't eat dates last time but I may this time around. At least toss them into a smoothie in the morning. I don't think it'll hurt.

I know we touched in this earlier this week but I figured we could rehash it here to have it all in one place for reference for later.

Did anyone eat dates in their last pregnancy? What were the results? Who's going to try dates this time?

Wino0920 · April 2017

I'm the worst at pushing. I know you are supposed to push like you are pooping, but for some reason I haven't gotten it down after two kids. Maybe third is the charm??

I had 4th degree tear with my last. Two holes became one. It was not as bad as I thought. That was the one thing I was most afraid of, and I didn't even feel it.

LAMCH1980 · April 2017

@Wino0920, I'm assuming you had a good epidural.

Wino0920 · April 2017

@LAMCH1980 Exactly. It worked so well, I couldn't feel my contractions to push. Both times.

MotherofDragons · April 2017

@Wino0920 Have you had epidurals with your deliveries? Maybe that's why it's hard to gauge exactly where exactly you're concentrating your pushes. It's not necessarily your fault or that you're bad at pushing. That can't be easy.

What does it feel like to push with an epi?

Wino0920 · April 2017

Yes @Mother0fDragons I had epidurals with both. They worked so well on me, I couldn't feel my contractions to even push. my mom and DH were watching the monitor and telling me when.

I cant describe pushing with an epi. I was just pushing "down" I guess. Almost like peeing instead of pooping. Not sure I can describe it.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

@MotherofDragons, I did dates last time. I did not go into labor on my own, but I was 2-3 cm dilated when I went into induction. I did not do dates with my 1st or 2nd pregnancy and I went into induction a fingertip dilated. So, I can't be sure it was the dates, but I'm eating them again. I also already eat Larabars daily, they're made with dates.

I had zero issues pushing with my epidural. My kids were out in a couple pushes, but I did still tear. I have heard that having a mirror can help you with pushing that way you can see the progress.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

I feel like a lot of times when pushing with an epi we push in our face instead of bearing down.

I was still able to feel the pressure of her head and when I was contracting, but I just didn't have the pain.

anitamargarita_82 · April 2017

I had an epidural. I was able to push just fine. Not that she was that big but I just tried to imagine in my mind where I was supposed to push from. Seemed to work. I did tear though.

TW*** don't read if you're afraid of the epidural.

So I got a wet tap on the first try they did with my epidural. I didn't have them do the blood patch.. didn't want them tinkering with my back anymore. I had debilitating headaches for a week afterwards. So horrible. I was taking lots of drugs to try and manage them but were they awful. The second morning after she was born my husband wheeled me down to see her in the nicu and I sat there sobbing because I couldn't even hold my head up to look at her.

danij0 · April 2017

For STM+ when it came to pushing what position were you in and how long did the pushing phase last. If you also wouldn't mind sharing with/without the epi?

Knottie42089123 · April 2017

Have you guys read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth? It's been on my to-dos but don't know anyone who's read it.

danij0 · April 2017

Knottie42089123 said:

Have you guys read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth? It's been on my to-dos but don't know anyone who's read it.

I'm actually reading it right now (while also bumping). It's a little crunchy but very informative. I'm hoping to go med-free and I think it's helpful with really understanding the different aspects of childbirth . My friend (who went med-free) read it and really recommended it. It's also a pretty quick read but I find childbirth and the reproductive system fascinating (I was a bio major).

Kylieslip24 · April 2017

I didn't do perinium massage, but my ob also massaged with oil and did counter pressure. I only needed 1 stitch. I didn't feel it tear or anything. I pushed for about an hour kind of propped up on the bed, in between sitting and laying. I was so tired I couldn't stay upright. It was 3 am. No epi. The only part that hurt was the dreaded ring of fire at the end, and the 1 quick stitch that I didn't see coming as was over by the time I felt it. Everything else was just uncomfortable and pressure.

ladylolly89 · April 2017

danij0 said:

For STM+ when it came to pushing what position were you in and how long did the pushing phase last. If you also wouldn't mind sharing with/without the epi?

On my back, legs open!

I pushed for maybe 10-15 minutes total. No epi.

Edit to clarify that by "epi" I meant epidural. I did have an episiotomy.

ellie111227 · April 2017

I did perineum massage last time, and I really really hated it, but then I only tore a tiny bit and needed one stitch. Whether it helped or I just got lucky though I have no idea. I had a med-free birth, so feeling when to push and pushing was very easy. Transition, on the other hand.... not easy. I pushed for less than five minutes, and it was honestly the easiest part of my labor. My recovery was also incredibly easy. I was up walking around the room as soon as I passed dd to dh after the first hour of snuggling skin-to-skin, and I was showered and feeling pretty normal 4 or 5 hours later. I also weirdly didn't feel tired for a week or so after birth, despite missing two full nights of sleep being in labor and then having a newborn to care for. There is obviously no way of knowing how much of that stuff was helped by skipping the epi, but I do feel that it helped at least somewhat with my body kind of knowing what to do, so I am going that route again if I can. It was very very painful, but I came out of it feeling like I had just conquered the world and could do it again. For me that was worth it.

Oh, and I didn't do any dates or teas or oils or anything like that. I didn't really think about it or research it, but maybe I will this time. I'm gently uncomfortable with supplements that haven't been studied scientifically, but something like eating dates I would be fine with.

shmarpler · April 2017

@lmudra, I did a perinum massage once, and hated it so I didn't try again. The midwife who delivered DD applied counter pressure and massaged with olive oil as baby's had was coming out. They said I tore a tiny bit, but other that a slight burning sensation when it happened, it never bothered me and I didn't need stitches.

@Knottie42089123, I read that book and another by Ina May. Definitely crunchy, but very helpful and informative.

@danij0, just about every position imaginable. It would have been much easier if they'd let me use a birthing stool, but my hospital wouldn't allow it.

c1tym0m22 · April 2017

danij0 said:

For STM+ when it came to pushing what position were you in and how long did the pushing phase last. If you also wouldn't mind sharing with/without the epi?

On my back, with an epi, and for over 2 hours (including the pause for an episiotomy). Aside from the epidural, I'm hoping to repeat precisely none of that experience this time around!

mombod · April 2017

I pushed in every position possible... in the birthing tub, sitting on the toilet, hands and knees, laying on my side, and laying on my back with my legs off the bed. I just moved when I felt like I needed to or if the midwife suggested something. I pushed for a little under an hour, would have been shorter but we intentionally slowed down at the end to prevent tearing. No epi.
I read the book last time and will read it again. Im pretty crunchy and love to read birth stories of all varieties.

halfthetree · April 2017

@danij0 With my epidural birth I pushed flat on my back, knees up, being told when to push.
With my homebirth, I was on my knees, leaning forward on my husbands lap (he was sitting on the edge of our bed). Gravity really helped.

@Knottie42089123 I've read all of her stuff, many times over. Some of it is super hippy, but really reassuring of the normalcy of birth.

I really like the Indie Birth podcasts. As I've gotten further into the birth world, been witness to many hospital and home births, my views have shifted for sure.

halfthetree · April 2017

I know third babies are wild cards, but I'm seriously hoping for a precipitous freebirth with these twins. I like the gritty and intense "let's get it done" of a quick birth.

Has anyone had an even quicker third birth?

awillis13 · April 2017

Wearmi1 said:

I had an epidural. I was able to push just fine. Not that she was that big but I just tried to imagine in my mind where I was supposed to push from. Seemed to work. I did tear though.

TW*** don't read if you're afraid of the epidural.

So I got a wet tap on the first try they did with my epidural. I didn't have them do the blood patch.. didn't want them tinkering with my back anymore. I had debilitating headaches for a week afterwards. So horrible. I was taking lots of drugs to try and manage them but were they awful. The second morning after she was born my husband wheeled me down to see her in the nicu and I sat there sobbing because I couldn't even hold my head up to look at her.

@Wearmi1 I had a spinal headache post epidural with my first. Worst experience of my life. Makes me want to go natural this time around to avoid that.

awoodruff27 · April 2017

danij0 said:

For STM+ when it came to pushing what position were you in and how long did the pushing phase last. If you also wouldn't mind sharing with/without the epi?

For baby #1 epi the "normal" on back legs up position. I couldn't feel the contractions very well on my own side so it was weird to push. Took 35 min.

For baby #2 no epi same position and because I could feel everything it was easier hurt like crazy though ha. Took about 20 min total and that was with the Drs help, my cervix was stuck at a 7 but she was coming anyway.

delujm0 · April 2017

I had an epidural but it was perfect...I was pain free but could feel the pressure when contractions were happening and I could tell how hard I was pushing. DD took 2.5 hours of pushing but only bc she was sunny side up and got stuck behind my pubic bone for a long time. The doctor applied counter pressure and did give me a little snip in the spot where I was already tearing, but in the end I only needed one stitch and it really didn't bother me much.

I loved my anesthesiologist so much I would have married him if I was single. I hope he's there again when I deliver this time. He was the shit. I got the epi at 6cm and didn't even feel pressure of contractions until I made it to 9-10cm. I took a short nap after getting it actually. After 8 hours of pure back labor that thing was a godsend.

MotherofDragons · April 2017

Complete failure of epidural, pushed on my back, legs up for 45 minutes. Took a break to get OB (which suuuuuucked. Fighting the urge to push is horrific). When OB arrived, pushed three or four times and he was out.

Edited to add: nurse gave me perineal counter pressure and I had a second degree tear that only required one stitch. Recovery was easy and I was surprised by how little soreness I had in my vagina.

lmudra · April 2017

How do you avoid the epi headache or is there nothing preventive you can do?

anitamargarita_82 · April 2017

lmudra said:

How do you avoid the epi headache or is there nothing preventive you can do?

The headache comes from a wet tap... or when then hit your spinal cord while doing the epi. Nothing really you can do to prevent it. Just depends on the person doing it.

lmudra · April 2017

Gotcha. And it just goes away after a few days?

kahlan82 · April 2017

I had an epidural, pushed for 40 minutes on my back while holding my legs. I used a mirror and the nurse had her fingers pushing down on the opening to my vagina, which helped me "feel" if I was pushing correctly. I didn't feel the pain of tearing but I knew the moment I tore, if that makes sense. I am glad I had the epi when stitching time came. I had no side effects from my epi.

virginiaunicorn11 · April 2017

I had an epidural that let me nap for 2 hours...but DS didn't come for another 4 hours and the epi wore off for the pushing. I pushed on my back, knees up, for less than an hour. I wanted to avoid that position and the midwife tried to help me move out of it, but it was too uncomfortable to move. I tore and got some stitches, but was never told how many - and I didn't feel tearing distinctly from anything else going on down there.
I did, however, feel every stitch! That surprised me. I have no recollection of delivering the placenta.
My back was sore for several days from the epidural (like a muscle cramp, kind of), but that's it - and I was still very glad I got it.

Also: I have scoliosis so I was terrified to get an epidural. It was a success. Throwing that out there for any other curved FTMs

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

lmudra said:

How do you avoid the epi headache or is there nothing preventive you can do?

I've had three epidurals and zero spinal headaches afterwards. I had one spinal tap and a spinal headache following that. I required two blood patches.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

danij0 said:

For STM+ when it came to pushing what position were you in and how long did the pushing phase last. If you also wouldn't mind sharing with/without the epi?

SITB

For each child I pushed on my back, I don't think they even entertained my pushing in another position with an epidural. Had an epidural for all.

DD1 - pushed 2.5 hours, 3rd degree tear
DD2 - pushed 10 minutes, 2nd degree tear
DD3 - pushed 15 minutes, 2nd degree tear

I only included tear info because I wasn't sure if 'epi' meant epidural or episiotomy.

erinh84 · April 2017

TW*
I know epidurals can definitely affect everyone differently. Mine was a godsend when I was in labor with DS. I never got the dreaded headache afterwards, but I did have major issues/severe pain in my back where the epi went in. It lasted for well over 6 months and it really took a toll on my quality of life and my ability to be there 100% for DS.

Fingers crossed that those of you planning on having an epidural will not have my experience. I really hope I don't scare anyone by posting this. I just wish I had come across it in my research or that someone had given the heads up about the possibility beforehand, then maybe I wouldn't have been so blindsided by it.

Re pushing: I Pushed on my back with my legs up for less than 10 minutes. 3 pushes in total and he was out. My OB walked in on the very last push and caught him. I really couldn't feel anything due to the epidural, so I just kind of had to trust that my body knew what it was doing. I did have to get a small tear stitched up, but it wasn't too bad. Honestly the recovery process for me was much worse than the labor. Your asshole is going to feel like it's on fire. I wish I was joking. Bring a donut pillow with you to the hospital.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

@erinh84, oh the hemorrhoids and burning after birth are the worst!

huskermom14 · April 2017

I had an epidural with DS but it was perfect. I could still feel my contractions and move my legs, I just couldn't feel any pain. I was lucky enough to not have a spinal headache or any bad side effects.

@danij0 I pushed in the traditional on my back, legs in the stirrups position for 40 min. (Not sure how many pushes it was, just that I started at 11 and he was born at 1139.) I did have an episiotomy.

lmudra · April 2017

Did anyone use alternative pain mgmt techniques. Meaning no epidural? During our hospital tour they mentioned the gas and some IV pain meds that can be used earlier on. How did that go?

huskermom14 · April 2017

lmudra said:

Did anyone use alternative pain mgmt techniques. Meaning no epidural? During our hospital tour they mentioned the gas and some IV pain meds that can be used earlier on. How did that go?

I got a shot of fentanyl in my IV at 4:55 am after they had had my pitocin going for almost 11 hours. I had terrible back labor and just wanted to get comfortable enough to sleep. It relaxed my body enough for my water to break, though, and then I was feeling everything and my pitocin was up so high I couldn't deal so I got the epidural. So, in my case, it was awesome and helpful and had I not been induced with pit I'd like to think it may have remained a viable pain control option for me.

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