I hate man buns, love beards, and I think manly men are hot!!
I think it has become so trendy to go against the norm that if you're a little girl who likes girly stuff or a boy who likes boy things than you're obviously stuck in gender stereotypes and that's wrong. My step DD loves girly stuff and my boys love boyish stuff and I am proud that they get to rock their own styles. I'm not going to make them dress like the opposite gender just to prove a point and I'm not going to force them to only have gender neutral toys to show how liberal I am. Sorry, not sorry. Stop putting so much pressure on kids and just let them be kids. End rant.
FFFC: the symptoms thread makes me nauseous so I just plain stopped reading it.
@elsieisamoocow This is how I feel about the "what we're eating" thread. Can't even open it. All food makes me want to hurl.
This is me! Any talk of food or people being nauseated or having poop issues basically makes me dry heave at this point so I've been avoiding both of those threads!
I hate man buns, love beards, and I think manly men are hot!!
I think it has become so trendy to go against the norm that if you're a little girl who likes girly stuff or a boy who likes boy things than you're obviously stuck in gender stereotypes and that's wrong. My step DD loves girly stuff and my boys love boyish stuff and I am proud that they get to rock their own styles. I'm not going to make them dress like the opposite gender just to prove a point and I'm not going to force them to only have gender neutral toys to show how liberal I am. Sorry, not sorry. Stop putting so much pressure on kids and just let them be kids. End rant.
While I fully support parents who want to dress their children in girly dresses or boyish clothes (regardless of their actual gender), I don't think anyone is "forcing" anything on their child by choosing gender neutral. I find gender neutral to just be easier and "if" we ever had another child (and it were another the opposite sex) then we could easily reuse or re-gift to anyone.
If I had a boy who eventually wanted to wear a tutu, I would fully support him. Or if I had a girl that wanted only wear boy clothes, I would be fine with it too. Eventually, I am sure my child will choose whatever they want and I will love them the same.
But let's not pretend that choosing gender neutral (especially for a very young child) is "forcing" anything on them. Gender norms are all society's constructs and created by us. Children literally don't know the difference until they learn it. So no, any clothing or toy you buy (especially gender neutral) is not "forcing" anything on them. If you were to only allow a boy to play with trucks or only allow a girl to play with barbies, then that would be forcing something on them. But that's a different topic.
ETA: If anything, I think people who only allow their children to wear their appropriate gendered clothing are putting pressure on their children to fit societal norms.
@dragonfly87 and @cmessamore I think you two are talking about two different age ranges. Gender neutral makes total sense for a small child - especially if you are planning on having more than one. They can't make choices at that point, so the parents get to choose whatever clothing makes the most sense to them.
I think @cmessamore was talking about forcing/restricting things for older children. It would be equally pushy of me if I told my 4 year old DD that she had to play with dolls because she was a girl or that she couldnt play with dolls because it conformed to constructed gender roles. I agree with @cmessamore that, once children can decide for themselves, they should be able to dress in/play with whatever they want. We have both sexes at home, so there's a wide range of toys and each can (and does!) play with whatever strikes their fancy at the moment. I won't make them not conform to gender roles, just like I won't make them conform. Once they start having preferences, it's up to each individual kid.
No flames from me @cmessamore. My son, at a very early age (before 1) was obsessed with construction trucks, fire trucks and balls. This is what he naturally gravitated to when in a playgroup setting surrounded by all types of toys. It was really a non issue - that's what he liked. Just follow your child's lead. I dont think there is anything wrong with dressing your little baby either in gender neutral clothes or clothes that are traditionally "girl" or "boy" and then letting them decide once old enough.
@dragonfly87 and @cmessamore I think you two are talking about two different age ranges. Gender neutral makes total sense for a small child - especially if you are planning on having more than one. They can't make choices at that point, so the parents get to choose whatever clothing makes the most sense to them.
I think @cmessamore was talking about forcing/restricting things for older children. It would be equally pushy of me if I told my 4 year old DD that she had to play with dolls because she was a girl or that she couldnt play with dolls because it conformed to constructed gender roles. I agree with @cmessamore that, once children can decide for themselves, they should be able to dress in/play with whatever they want. We have both sexes at home, so there's a wide range of toys and each can (and does!) play with whatever strikes their fancy at the moment. I won't make them not conform to gender roles, just like I won't make them conform. Once they start having preferences, it's up to each individual kid.
Agreed! I know parents who won't even allow any gender-specific toys in their homes. To each their own, but to me that's forcing something on your kid just as much as only allowing them to play with toys for their gender.
@cmessamore no flames here either! If I have a daughter I will dress her in pink because I like pink but I will also dress her in other colors. I'm not going to avoid pink by any means. Once she's old enough to pick I'll go with her preference. As far as toys I will likely lean on educational/career toys like doctor kits but am not against giving my daughter both a doll and a truck and letting her figure out what she likes or letting her dress like her favorite Disney princess or ninja turtle if that's her thing. Same goes for a boy!
@kissthesky32@dragonfly87 Agreed! Personally I hate plenty of clothes in both the girl and boy section, especially the sayings on them... the worst! I would rather have gender neutral so I can use them for future babies, and because it suits my aesthetic. When they're older, they'll choose their clothes as it suits them. However, I think I will always shy away from branded/licensed stuff just because I don't want my kids to be walking billboards, but whatever, clothes are clothes. If it makes them happy, and the price is right, who am I to fuss?
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
Being a twin with four sisters gives me a lot of perspective here. My parents did not know our sexes before we were born and bought neutral clothing. We went home in yellow and green, which were my favorite colors until I was at least 6. I also threw in brown. I played with Snoopy and balls needed to be thrown at me to get my attention. I screamed when I was put in pink, purple, or dresses for the longest time, but I asked for PJ Sparkles, a Fischer Price cleaning kit with vacuum, and Quints for Christmas. My twin loved pink, purple, and sparkles. She wanted bows, baby dolls, and tons of bangles. We had a play kitchen and a motorized Jeep. I was an introvert, while she was an extrovert. No matter whether you use the nature vs nurture argument, our personalities and preferences came through and even changed at different ages. I eventually wore make up, took my hair out of my pony tail, wore pink and purple dresses, cheerleaded, even forced myself out of my shell. But I also played soccer in college while my twin was a D 1 cheerleader. We both became teachers and just have a mothering instinct. We couldn't be more different and alike at the same time! No colors, outfits, or toys will shape your kid that much once they can make decisions for themselves.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@cmessamore No flames here. Since my daughter is only 2, I try to buy mostly gender-neutral toys (gender-neutral clothes are harder to find but I definitely bought gender-neutral when she was a baby). However, I think it's sort of funny how parents sometimes act as though they can create a completely controlled environment for their kid. Other people are constantly giving her girly toys and clothes that she loves. My MIL made her a princess dress for Halloween last year. I'm not going to tell these people no, and I'm not going to pry a doll out of my daughter's hands. I like to buy her gender-neutral toys because I want her to know she can play with whatever she wants and she doesn't have to play with "girl toys," but she does love the "girl toys" and that's great too. And yeah, when she's older, she'll have an awareness of what toys are meant for girls and which are meant for boys, because that's just the world we live in. All I care about is that she plays with what she likes and doesn't worry too much about what other people think--as much as that's possible.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
This is super late, but (FFC #1?) I didn't realize yesterday was Friday, and my preggo brain will eat this thought before next Friday. Semi-lurker here, but also teacher with a toddler, so I'll probably always be more of a reader and less of a poster. My ffc is that I am dreading going to my in-laws house tomorrow because my niece and nephews (all under the age of 8, and the oldest has autism spectrum disorder so acts more like a two year old) stress me out. My DS always acts out when he's with his cousins, and they are rude and spoiled. It's my husband's family, so I have very little day in their behaviors, but I still feel like I should love them, and most of the time.. I just don't.
I love giant bows on my baby then again I love dressing her up ..fffc and I'm late...but today was when I went to the DMV forgot my two pieces of mail..so I had to drive back home ..go back to the DMV with the mail and RETAKE THE PICTURE UGHHHHH
Re: FFFC 4/14
I hate man buns, love beards, and I think manly men are hot!!
I think it has become so trendy to go against the norm that if you're a little girl who likes girly stuff or a boy who likes boy things than you're obviously stuck in gender stereotypes and that's wrong. My step DD loves girly stuff and my boys love boyish stuff and I am proud that they get to rock their own styles. I'm not going to make them dress like the opposite gender just to prove a point and I'm not going to force them to only have gender neutral toys to show how liberal I am. Sorry, not sorry. Stop putting so much pressure on kids and just let them be kids. End rant.
If I had a boy who eventually wanted to wear a tutu, I would fully support him. Or if I had a girl that wanted only wear boy clothes, I would be fine with it too. Eventually, I am sure my child will choose whatever they want and I will love them the same.
But let's not pretend that choosing gender neutral (especially for a very young child) is "forcing" anything on them. Gender norms are all society's constructs and created by us. Children literally don't know the difference until they learn it. So no, any clothing or toy you buy (especially gender neutral) is not "forcing" anything on them. If you were to only allow a boy to play with trucks or only allow a girl to play with barbies, then that would be forcing something on them. But that's a different topic.
ETA: If anything, I think people who only allow their children to wear their appropriate gendered clothing are putting pressure on their children to fit societal norms.
I think @cmessamore was talking about forcing/restricting things for older children. It would be equally pushy of me if I told my 4 year old DD that she had to play with dolls because she was a girl or that she couldnt play with dolls because it conformed to constructed gender roles. I agree with @cmessamore that, once children can decide for themselves, they should be able to dress in/play with whatever they want. We have both sexes at home, so there's a wide range of toys and each can (and does!) play with whatever strikes their fancy at the moment. I won't make them not conform to gender roles, just like I won't make them conform. Once they start having preferences, it's up to each individual kid.
Personally I hate plenty of clothes in both the girl and boy section, especially the sayings on them... the worst! I would rather have gender neutral so I can use them for future babies, and because it suits my aesthetic. When they're older, they'll choose their clothes as it suits them. However, I think I will always shy away from branded/licensed stuff just because I don't want my kids to be walking billboards, but whatever, clothes are clothes. If it makes them happy, and the price is right, who am I to fuss?
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility