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Babies on the Brain
glitzandglitter
member
Waiting Room Wednesday April 12
glitzandglitter
member
***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***
Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday!
You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.
Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?
What brings you here?
How long do you think you'll be here?
How have things been going?
Any R/R?
GTKY: Are you a dog or cat person?
Re: Waiting Room Wednesday April 12
Are you benched or TTA? TTA
EDD March 12, 2018
Are you benched or TTA? TTA
I have a question (if you don't mind) for all you that are TFAS. Did you ever have doubts about adding to your family? I have a 2 year old son, who is pretty awesome. He, of course, has his toddler moments, but he is kind, smart, and doing really well. I worry sometimes if I have the energy for another baby and if I will be able to be a good mother to 2 children. Do you think those are "normal" concerns, or do you think I should rethink having a 2nd?
I think the answer lies in how you ultimately picture your family. In 15 years do you see yourself with more than one? The beginning is hard, really hard. But that phase is temporary. Like I mentioned above, even with a 4 year old, life is so much easier than it is with an infant. Is that all that is holding back or do you truly feel like your family is complete?
EDD March 12, 2018
EDD March 12, 2018
DS2 due 12/12/18
@JNCPro3130 - What you are feeling is completely normal. What @notthefather said is perfect, how do you picture your family in 10-15 years? I always pictured my family with two kids and after having a difficult recovery from birth and an extremely fussy baby that cried a lot for the first 6 months, I was sure I was done. But here I am.
Are you benched or TTA? TTA, but basically NTNP
I will say... Before I had my son I used to wonder how on earth women did it! I was so tired after getting home from work and couldn't imagine how my friends with kids spent all day at work and then came home to take care of little ones. I do it with one and I'm sure it's the same with 2.
@notthefather - I guess we will still let you stay every though you are not really an animal person
@CecilB93 - I think everyone has 'am I nuts?!?' days with parenthood lol
@ChloandCoco - we will miss having you in this post but I am so happy for you to be moving on up to the TWW/WTO posts
@JNCPro3130 We don't have any kids yet, but I think that's a very common concern. When my best friend was thinking about trying for her second, she was telling me about her concerns regarding that. She'd also had a pretty bad bout of PPD, though, so I wasn't surprised that she was worried about it. From what I can tell about you, I think you'd be a great mom no matter what
@CecilB93 Right now, we're hoping for August as well!
@ChloandCoco I'm glad you feel like you're back to your old self! I'm also very glad to have found this group. It's hard to keep this stuff in, but it's also next to impossible to talk to friends who don't understand.
@glitzandglitter Would the job still be there if you took the leave later in the year? If that's what you feel you need to do, then if everything else lines up, maybe that's what's meant to happen? I'd come help with your house stuff if I could!
@sandrabrooke Congrats on the promotion!
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Are you benched or TTA? Still benched! Stupid back. >.<
What brings you here? I enjoy chatting with you guys! I love having a place that I can talk about this stuff, since most of my friends don't understand. I have a lot of CFBC friends, but also a lot who are just like "Dude, just get pregnant".
How long do you think you'll be here? We're hoping to start at the end of summer, but it all depends on how much longer I'm out of work and how long it takes to get my back pain under control. I can't lift anything over 5lbs, so my HR rep and case manager are having a difficult time finding a position for me.
How have things been going? Well, we went to the water park today. I got a little bit of sunburn, but not much. Just raccoon face from my sunglasses. DH, on the other hand, is a freakin LOBSTER. We'd put sunblock on before we left and then again when we took a break after about an hour and a half, but he still burned. He's not uncomfortable, but his skin is really hot. Beyond that, it's still the same. I'm still at home out of work. Still dealing with chronic pain (my back was fine for most of the day, but as soon as we got in the car to leave, the pain just hit me). He's hoping to get a transfer to a new position at work soon.
Any R/R? Aside from having a lobster for a husband, the only real rants I have this week are about an old high school friend (which I'm not going to talk about, since it's not really my business) and me whining about a woman I used to work with who now has the exact job I was dreaming of. I went to pastry school with the goal to eventually get into a specific bakery at Disney, making wedding cakes and other specialty items. I got hired to work in the production bakery at one of the parks, did a festival, and then moved over to the restaurant I worked at until I was placed on leave because of my back. Now, because my restrictions are permanent, I CANNOT work as a pastry cook there again, unless my doctor removes the restrictions. This woman I worked with talked about how much she hated working there and wanted to move back home, which was across the country. She wanted more creative freedom and wanted to leave. Then she got the job I'd been aiming for. I know it's petty and stupid, I just... It's frustrating. I can't even lean over a table for more than five minutes without my back killing me, and she's doing literally EVERYTHING I came to the company to do.
GTKY: Are you a dog or cat person? Dogs. Absolutely, unequivocally dogs. I like cats, but I just LOVE dogs. My family always had a dog, but we don't have the time or space for one right now. My last dog was this big, goofy boxer-mastiff mutt named Delilah. We rescued her, and the first month or so that we had her, she would NOT leave my side. She even followed me into the bathroom. She was just a big baby who loved everyone, especially if you gave her cheese or french fries. She passed away a month after I moved in with DH. I still miss her. She was my big, squishy baby.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
@JNCPro3130 I second that our group here is awesome! When I first started posting here it was just to pass the time before I could join TTGP but now I love what we have going here!!
@CecilB93 I have zero kids and also remind myself that if other people can do it so can I. Mostly I'm being judgy when I think that though
@ChloandCoco I'm so glad you're going to keep hanging out with us on BOTB!
@glitzandglitter Sorry to hear about your timeline battle. That sounds like a tough decision!! Could you accept the job and then see what happens? You may not get pregnant right away anyway...
@dreamscapes_ I don't think you're being petty at all. That would be extremely frustrating. I'm sorry that you're going through that.
@dreamscapes_: actually the contractor never showed and didn't call. Again. This was the second time we were given a specific date and then he ghosted. We've called him multiple times this week with no response. Today I received notification from my insurance company that they increased our remodel payout by $20,000 (presumably to cover this cost and some other things) so if he doesn't get it done soon I'm going to tell him to f*ck off and hire someone else to do it. I'm over it.
The party was good. The weather was perfect and we had a great show of people. It felt chaotic to me but I was trying to entertain and such. I was wiped out the rest of the weekend! Next year will be smaller and involve no cooking. Haha.
EDD March 12, 2018
I hope they find a new position for you soon. I can understand about the other woman at your work it would be hard to stand by and watch someone else get your dream job especially when they might not even appreciate it the way you would. Hang in there! I hope they get your pain under control and find you a position soon.
@UterusesBeforeDuderuses - No one knows we will be trying but it is a big commitment so I think I need to be all in. I would feel terrible if I had to back out, plus they might not offer it again. I have already been assisting in this position and they have started to train me. Agh! It will all work out the way it will supposed to I am just a planner so all the guessing about TTC and when/if I will get pregnant is hard for me. A mid May due date would allow me to take the spot and maternity leave wouldn't interfere.
@notthefather - GRRRR! How annoying! That would make me crazy! I hope your contractor gets his act together soon or that your next one is awesome and gets the work done fast!
@dreamscapes_ Those doggie pix are adorable! It must have been so hard to go through that.
Are you benched or TTA? TTA- using/learning about FAM, as I'm currently reading TCOYF.
@ChloandCoco: I'm both happy and sad that you will be leaving us next week! You have so many people in your corner! Glad you are feeling better.
@glitzandglitter: That's a tough one. Personally, I'd probably delay a little bit for the opportunity. If it's just a couple months I think it would be worth it to me. I don't envy your decision though!
@sandrabrooke: I'm so relieved there's another person in the "no pets" club!
@dreamscapes_: I have to admit, I'm pretty jealous you can go to the water park so easily! Lazy rivers are my spirit animal. Hope you're getting some rest!
@UterusesBeforeDuderuses: You're right, April is going by so fast! I know at one point there were several of us planning on TTGP in May. I wonder if that will still be true!
@sramiller1008: I'm also a planner so I know how hard the unknown is for you! My husband is a teacher and we've been through the same frustration waiting for next year jobs to post. Hopefully they will start posting soon!
EDD March 12, 2018
@notthefather Ugh. Does the contract have any language in it about circumstance in which you can cancel it? Just to cover your butt for when you do end up going with someone else (at this point, I'm assuming it's a "when", not an "if"). I'd also definitely give his company an accurate review on Yelp. I'm glad the party was a good time, though! I totally understand about "no cooking", lol. When we got married, my mom had suggested just having us do the catering ourselves. I'm fine with cooking for something small like a dinner party, but for a big birthday party or a wedding, heck no.
@glitzandglitter That's good to know that the job would still be yours. I definitely understand how much it sucks to wait. Maybe you could make a pro/con list of waiting vs not waiting and see what all it says? If you wait, it would also give you a couple more months to stick money in the bank for maternity leave and other expenses. That's kind of how I'm looking at it for us. I'm absolutely a planner as well, so I've been looking into all sorts of things related to this.
I really hope they find me a spot soon, too, obviously. As far as the other person, that's life. Things don't always work out as you had hoped. Besides, as I told my DH last night, in a non-culinary role, there's more opportunities for growth, whereas with culinary, it's just cook 2 > cook 1 > chef assistant > sous chef > chef > executive chef, and anything above chef assistant is incredibly hard to get. I have another appointment with pain management in a few weeks, so we'll see how that goes. One of the medications he's got me on now is this topical NSAID and it's not really helping.
@sramiller1008 It was, but we know she's not in pain anymore. She's buried up at my parents' cabin in Wisconsin. Job hunting is definitely frustrating! I hope you find something for the fall!
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
On the other hand, I do try to imagine our lives in 10-20 years, and I always picture us with one more child. DSS is honestly the most loving kid I could ever have been lucky to have in my family. He's been great with my nephews since they were newborns, and he always wants to help take care of any babies and infants around.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
@dreamscapes_ : We actually don't have a contract with him at all. The only thing I've ever signed for him was checks for completed work. If he doesn't complete the work we have no formal obligation to him.
EDD March 12, 2018
@sandrabrooke - I was in the August 2015 BMB too! I wasn't very active on the board though.
@dreamscapes_ - I'm sorry you are going through all that with your ex-coworker. It sounds like a very frustrating situation.
@UterusesBeforeDuderuses - Yay for it almost being time to TTC!
@sramiller1008 - Job hunting is super stressful and waiting is really hard. I'm a planner too, so I completely understand.
@izza2 - I'm sorry your DH keeps changing his mind, it's really unfair of him. Hopefully you can have a serious conversation with him to sort it all out.
@izza2 - I'm really sorry. I hope you are able to have your talk soon and figure things out.