Am I nuts?

lmudra · April 2017

I have GD. If they tell me I'm going to be induced I'm going to request a c-section. I have zero expectations of a particular type of birth. All I know is that I don't want to be induced, labor for 16 hours, and then have to have a cs anyway. I just want a stress free, safe delivery. I'be been so anxious this entire pregnancy that I don't think mentally I can take any surprises during L&D. Anyone else feel this way? Anyone feel strongly that a CS is too dangerous and that you shouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary, if so why?

Thabks ladies, I'm just on level 10 of anxiety right now.

neludelu · April 2017

I wouldn't automatically schedule the CS. Lots of people get induced and have successful labors. Plus if you get induced you will be able to rest and get an epi when things start hurting. I got induced at 9am I had a full day of relaxing and seeing friends and family who came to the hospital then my water broke at 10pm. Sh*t got real quickly and I had an epi by 1 am. I slept really well from 1:30 to 8am. My labor failed to progress around 9 so we just sat around waiting for something to happen then eventually at 3 they decided a CS would be best. I'm glad I had the experience I had bc it eased me into the process and it was enjoyable. Recovery from the CS was a breeze.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

Don't count yourself out of the induction because you think it'll end in a c/s. A lot of women have successful inductions.

I have zero opinion on c/s though.

Wino0920 · April 2017

Here's my thing.. delivering a baby isn't easy no matter how you do it. There is no way out of it. Do not chose things to make it "easier" on you. You can have a long labor no matter how you choose. Suck it up buttercup, that's labor.

Kylieslip24 · April 2017

I felt the same way when they told me dd was most likely a c section baby. I really didn't want an emergency c. I heavily researched c sections and ended up getting a second opinion. They told me I should try natural and I would likely have no problems. I'm so glad I did. I had an easy labor, quick birth and healthy baby. She was 6'3 over due at 40+5 with gd so if I had listened to the first dr and planned a c at 39 weeks who knows how small she would have been! Another thing is that I hemorrhaged after birth and my dr told me if I had had a c I still would have hemorrhaged and would have lost even more blood.
This little boy is breech and starting to really worry me because if he doesn't turn we will do a c section. I really don't want one. The recovery is longer, our house has stairs, and I have a 4 year old with no planned help. If I need one I will have one of course, but I would never ask for one, because now I know how easy a natural delivery can be to recover from.

Elyse1384 · April 2017

I was induced with DD due to low amniotic fluid levels and had an easier l&d with her than I did with DS (I went into labor on my own with him). If there are no medical reasons to warrant a c-section, I personally prefer not to opt for a major surgery. Even a pregnancy with no cause for concern (eg GD, pre-e, IUGR) can end in an emergency c-section. I guess that is just part of the "joys" of pregnancy. The unknown.

meg2704 · April 2017

I have similar feelings as OP - my baby is currently breech and still has time to flip but a C section is a real possibility. I am a FTM and have heard great stories about induction and horror stories about induction and I would rather not be induced. But again, FTM, I don't know what any of it is really like.

wifeinraleigh28 · April 2017

@lmudra I've been told from the beginning that I'll be induced (unless I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks) because of my autoimmune issues. I have the same concerns as you. I would hate to be induced and then end up with a c anyway. I expressed these concerns to my OB yesterday and she reassured me that they aren't going to have me try for a vaginal delivery if there is a medical reason to warrant a c section. Otherwise, chances are I'll be just fine being induced and delivering vaginally.

Thank you for sharing your experience @neludelu. After reading how things went for you, I feel more ready to just go with the flow. You never know how things are going to turn out and you have to trust in your doctors.

EmeraldNC · April 2017

I was induced on a Wednesday, labored for 2.5 days without much progression at all and then ended up needing a c-section. My c-section was very easy to recover from. But I have had several friends have VERY different experiences with c-sections. And they weren't induced/or labored at all.

So, honestly... I don't think just jumping to a c-section is your best option (my opinion, of course you do what you want)... Labor and delivery is scary for everyone, even the most seasoned moms. You just can't control what is going to happen.. you have to make decisions as things are happening.

JAGinMI · April 2017

Why you would opt for major surgery simply because of the unknown? There are also unknowns with a c/s - a c/s does not equal a breeze. There are definitely no guarantees, not even close, that you will "be induced, labor for 16 hours, and then have to have a cs anyway". Why are you assuming that will be the case? Also, do you know that you can simply request a c/s? I thought there had to be a medical basis for it.

Also also, no labor/delivery is stress-free, no matter how the baby comes out, so you cannot assume that if you are able to just schedule a c/s that you will be stress-free.

c1tym0m22 · April 2017

@lmudra It sounds like your anxiety around labor (and the uncertainty around it) is what's mainly driving your current decision making process. If you haven't already had a good chat with your ob or a therapist-type about all of the upcoming change and unknowns, doing so might be beneficial. You've got this!!!

Ahutch428 · April 2017

Just to give you another perspective, I was induced at 39 weeks. I went in at 7:00 AM, got my epi around noon, and had DD at 2:03 PM. The whole thing was super easy, I couldn't even feel the contractions after the epi, and it only took 3 pushes to deliver her. Recovery was a breeze. I know this is not true for everyone, but inductions don't have to be scary!

mkrel · April 2017

@lmudra No advice, but just wanted to tell you that I understand your fears. I have no expectations of l&d, but the only thing I do not want to happen is exactly what you said...get induced and labor for hours only to end up with a csection. I would discuss with your doctor and just get all of the facts before making a decision. I will say that watching the video of a csection and seeing the levels of incisions and the abdominal muscles actually being separated might make you think twice about choosing it if there isn't a very compelling reason.

lmudra · April 2017

Wino0920 said:

Here's my thing.. delivering a baby isn't easy no matter how you do it. There is no way out of it. Do not chose things to make it "easier" on you. You can have a long labor no matter how you choose. Suck it up buttercup, that's labor.

I didn't mean to imply I wanted an easy way out. Anxiety is a real issue for me. I just want the safest option (mentally and physically). Oh how I wish my brain would let me "suck it up"!!

EmeraldNC · April 2017

MKRLTX said:

@lmudra No advice, but just wanted to tell you that I understand your fears. I have no expectations of l&d, but the only thing I do not want to happen is exactly what you said...get induced and labor for hours only to end up with a csection. I would discuss with your doctor and just get all of the facts before making a decision. I will say that watching the video of a csection and seeing the levels of incisions and the abdominal muscles actually being separated might make you think twice about choosing it if there isn't a very compelling reason.

And what it does to your body. Because of where the incision is/how I was cut... I have a fat pouch that no matter HOW much weight I loose, it flaps over and I absolutely hate it. So much so, that I've thought about a tummy tuck after my last child... and I have ALWAYS been against plastic surgery (for myself).

delujm0 · April 2017

I would hesitate to default to a major surgery unnecessarily. Yes, I have friends that were induced, even close to 42 weeks, who wound up needing C-sections. I have also had friends who were induced at 39 weeks due to GD who had easier labors that I did when I went into labor naturally with DD. A CS is no joke, as a procedure or to recover from. My sister and I were both breech so my mom had two CS. I remember when I was pregnant with DD thinking "it's ok, if she's breech i'll get a CS and everything will be fine" and then they explained that procedure to us and showed us one in my birth class and I was like HOLY HELL I'D REALLY RATHER NEVER DO THAT THANK YOU. DD was breech at 26 weeks but head down by 36. Now I'm just praying that this LO is head down too because I still really want to avoid a CS if at all possible.

There are a lot of risks with CS that I'd personally rather avoid. Most of my anxiety about the birth with DD revolved around the fact that I would have NO IDEA when it was going to happen, and that it could happen at any time (I'm a scheduler by nature). With induction, you still at least know the date that things will start happening at least. There's no reason to assume that an induction would take a long time or be more difficult than a CS. I know a lot of women for whom that was definitely not the case.

lmudra · April 2017

JAGinMI said:

Why you would opt for major surgery simply because of the unknown? There are also unknowns with a c/s - a c/s does not equal a breeze. There are definitely no guarantees, not even close, that you will "be induced, labor for 16 hours, and then have to have a cs anyway". Why are you assuming that will be the case? Also, do you know that you can simply request a c/s? I thought there had to be a medical basis for it.

Also also, no labor/delivery is stress-free, no matter how the baby comes out, so you cannot assume that if you are able to just schedule a c/s that you will be stress-free.

I'm assuming bc I don't have a point of personal reference, just stories from friends etc... I'm also obese and my dr and I discussed that bc of the potential for a large baby (gd) and my size a cs might be safer bc of shoulder dystocia etc and bc she said I have extra folds/rolls. I know a cs isn't easier, I'm not looking for easier, just the way that has the most potential for the least amount of surprise. I could be way off in assuming a scheduled cs is that option, which is why I asked the question. It's all very confusing and not helping my anxiety. I appreciate everyone answering!
I wish my pgal brain could let me believe I'm bringing this baby home. I think all my losses plus adopting my son and being told constantly that his birth mom could change her mind at the last minute (she didn't) are giving me slight ptsd or something. It's hard to explain, sorry for the ramble.

Kylieslip24 · April 2017

Another thing to consider is that once you have a c section, you will have that to worry about with any future kids. Around here only 1 of the hospitals out of 5 do VBACs. Some Drs won't do them. My sil had an emergency c with her first child and she couldn't find a dr who would let her do a vbac for baby 2. Her babies are healthy and everything worked out fine, but I know she's a little sad she never had the "normal" birth she wanted.

This is is the number 1 reason I don't want a c this time. Finding a good dr in my area is hard enough, finding a good vbac dr is even harder.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

Listen, I get that the unknown is scary. Hell, this is my fourth and I still fear what could happen. Do you have the potential to have a larger baby? Yes. Are you having a growth scan in third tri?

Both methods of delivery carry their own set of risks and recovery for either could be difficult depending on the person and circumstances. I could sit here and tell you my positive induction stories to make you feel better, but that's really not going to help you. Though I did have great inductions.

I know we've chatted and our GD isn't totally controlled this time, so that does leave the potential for a larger baby, but I wouldn't opt for a c/s without a growth scan first and remember those can be off too, but it does give you some idea of what you're working with. Being obese has zero to do with how you can deliver, IMO.

EmeraldNC · April 2017

@Stankonia2014 I have heard that c-sections are more risky if you are obese than if not, because they have to cut through so much extra "stuff".

Disclaimer: NOT scientifically proved or recommended... just heard two doctors discussing it before.

lmudra · April 2017

Stankonia2014 said:

Listen, I get that the unknown is scary. Hell, this is my fourth and I still fear what could happen. Do you have the potential to have a larger baby? Yes. Are you having a growth scan in third tri?

Both methods of delivery carry their own set of risks and recovery for either could be difficult depending on the person and circumstances. I could sit here and tell you my positive induction stories to make you feel better, but that's really not going to help you. Though I did have great inductions.

I know we've chatted and our GD isn't totally controlled this time, so that does leave the potential for a larger baby, but I wouldn't opt for a c/s without a growth scan first and remember those can be off too, but it does give you some idea of what you're working with. Being obese has zero to do with how you can deliver, IMO.

I'm having ultrasounds every week starting next week. My 28 week scan had her in the 78%. Hopefully those will stop my mind from racing. Thanks for replying!!

Wino0920 · April 2017

lmudra said:

Wino0920 said:

Here's my thing.. delivering a baby isn't easy no matter how you do it. There is no way out of it. Do not chose things to make it "easier" on you. You can have a long labor no matter how you choose. Suck it up buttercup, that's labor.

I didn't mean to imply I wanted an easy way out. Anxiety is a real issue for me. I just want the safest option (mentally and physically). Oh how I wish my brain would let me "suck it up"!!

C-section isn't the safest until your doctor tells you it's the safest, not a bunch of women on the internet.

mezalune · April 2017

I had every intention of going drug free with my first but he was breech and I had low fluid, so I ended up with a scheduled c/s. I lucked out with recovery and had no issues as a result. However, 3.5 years later I'm definitely still for VBAC if it means avoiding another major surgery. I'm realistic that my GD and potential for another breech or low fluid situation could take away that option of VBAC. For me, it's "fear of the unknown" and that I know what to expect from a scheduled c/s. However, that does not totally outweigh my desire to avoid a huge surgery.

mombod · April 2017

@lmudra I get that youre scared and that is totally valid. I would have a very serious detailed conversation with your doctor about your options for induction (there are various methods), the risks and recovery, their policy for when csection would be called and then the same conversation regarding a scheduled csection, are you a candidate, what are the risks and recovery, how might it impact some of your other birth plan preferences (skin to skin, nursing, cord clamping/cutting). I would also consider my plans for future pregnancies if you have any as a csection adds complexity to that.
Its major surgery and warrants careful consultation with a doctor. Good luck and I hope having all the information can ease your anxiety.

HgPa · April 2017

Do you have a good relationship with your OB/midwife? I also struggle with anxiety and PGAL brain, and it really helps me to be able to trust the experts. I think talking through different options/labor plans is a good idea.

At the end of the day, you might need to take a
deep breath and say 'My care team will give me the safest, most positive birth possible' and leave it there.

sejica · April 2017

@lmudra I'm noticing a lot of the replies here and your anxiety seem to focus on outcomes for you, but there's also the baby to consider. For instance, the compression of the lungs during a vaginal delivery has shown to lead to better outcomes long term for baby (even in cases of induction).

This is definitely going to be an intense and unpredictable experience for both of you either way, but I am totally confident in your ability to manage your anxiety. My worry for you is that in 'preparing' for CS, you are deferring your anxiety about delivery into the future, where you are more likely to encounter anxiety inducing situations with the health of your baby - higher incidence of breathing problems in CS babies vs vaginal delivered baby.

Personally, I trust my OB. This is my first, and I plan to labor as natural as possible, for as long as the medical professionals will let me. If they decide we need to do a CS, then I will do my best to face that then. I take comfort that there are 3 types of CS, planned, unplanned, and emergency. I hope if I have to have a CS, it is the unplanned type, but I acknowledge it is out of my control.

I think most mom's would do anything for their children, and for me, that includes dealing with the anxiety about the uncertanties of delivery to give my baby the best chances. You (and your team) can do this. It's hours for you, but the rest of your life for your child.

anitamargarita_82 · April 2017

I actually labored for 23 hours before Adeline arrived. I would have done it for days if it meant that is what was the best for her. I would only pursue a csection if it was 100% necessary. Our bodies are meant to labor unless medical unadvisable.

ladylolly89 · April 2017

Inductions can go very well in spite of some of the stories out there. I was induced with DS at 10 AM, contractions started at 10:30, and he was born at 3:47 PM. It was quick, easy and mostly painless in spite of the pitocin contractions!
Like @Wearmi1 just said, our bodies are meant to be able to labor under most circumstances.

JessyKV · April 2017

I think everyone pretty much covered what I was going to say but I'll add a few things.

I feel like if you talk to your doctor or a therapist about the anxiety and the unknown it will help you process and accept an induction. There will always be some unknown in birth and c section is no different. We can't control the outcome either way.

I had a scheduled c section due to breech with my first and every thing about it was harder for me than the induction with my second. I freaked out and panic on the operating table and was hyperventilating. I felt like a house was sitting on my chest. I was so out of it for 2 days because of all the drugs and nursing was hard. So even though it was scheduled and planned and quick it was not easy and anxiety less. My induction felt way more natural and laid back and took less than 5 hours with 27 minutes of pushing. Of course every experience is different and you can read good stories and horror stories for both but I wouldn't lean towards a c section because you think it might possibly cause less anxiety.

I hope you can talk to your doctor and start to feel more confident and prepared for labor. It's hard if it's your first or third!

mamaelle27 · April 2017

@lmudra I totally understand where you are coming from, the anxiety caused by the unknown of L&D is so hard to deal with. However, you have to remember you have a team of medical experts and they will help you make the best choices based on the information at the time. You simply can't say from now how your body and baby will be at 38, 39, 40 weeks so you have to make some peace with the unknown.

I had an elective induction at 39 weeks but my doctor was very clear that she would not have done it if everything hadn't been properly lined up (dilated, effaced, all that) and my labor lasted 5 hours start to finish and was made very manageable by an epi. I say all this 1- to share a positive induction story and 2- to say that you have to work with your doctor in the moment to determine what's best for your body. I'd love to have another labor like that, but right now at 32 weeks pregnant I can't possibly say what will happen. I trust my doctor and trust that together we'll make the right decision at the right time when we have all the information we need (or my baby will just come out on her own before that!). Try not to let yourself dwell on the anxiety for the next 8+ weeks.

Stankonia2014 · April 2017

@sejica, I can't help but be bothered by your comment. I think if you read replies, you'd note she said that a good portion of her anxiety came from PGAL brain, implying that she was, in fact, concerned for the safety of her child.

I also think the breathing issues comment was unnecessary and further drives these mommy-shaming issues for those who have elective c/s for whatever reason, implying that they're selfish for choosing that method.

In reality, there's a myriad of things that can go wrong with either method. At the end of the day, I think the only thing anyone here wants is a healthy baby in the end.

lmudra · April 2017

I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. I definitely need to talk to my ob about my concerns. I can't make a unilateral decision about how this will go obviously, so in the end I'll go whichever route my dr suggests. A lot of you have calmed me down and given me confidence, I knew you would! I just want to bring this baby home and it's becoming more and more real and I'm not sure how to process that. I never thought I'd be in the position to actually give birth. I think also that with adoption I have such little control (rightly so) that I want to try and control some of this porocess, however misguided that might be.

@sejica I'm not a huge fan of your implication here, putting my mental health first is putting my baby first. I'm already a mom, I very much understand making sacrifices for my child. Thank you.

Elyse1384 · April 2017

While we're on the subject, can I just say major props to you c-section mommas! Whether planned or unplanned, you are bad ass. Major surgery is no joke and even if you feel your recovery was relatively "easy", let me just state there is nothing easy about that method of delivery and I'm impressed as hell by your courage. Yes, I would of course have a c-section it my baby needed it, but oh my word will I happily pass that up if I can!

lmudra · April 2017

Indeed, great call out @Elyse1384!! I've had more friends with sections than not and I've seen what they've gone through, especially emotionally bc they had very specific birth plans in place. One friend labored unmedicated to an 8 for 18 hours and then stalled out and had to have a C. She was devasted and it caused her a lot of emotional pain. That's one of the reasons I don't have any sort of birth plan, I don't want to feel like any part of what happens when I give birth is a let down.

soontobemrsdavis · April 2017

I think it has been shared but I would go with what your OB recommends. At almost 40 weeks with no signs of labor in sight, me being overweight and a baby that was measuring big, my OB recommended a CSection. It was not on my radar at all and my husband and I had to talk it through. I asked the OB what advice would he give his own child and he said he would advise a csection. So I went with it. I had no complications and when my son was born one of the first things the OB said was "wow look at that noggin" (we are a family of large heads lol).

All that to say listen to your doctors and yourself. Issues can arise regardeless of the birthing process.

Good Luck!

neludelu · April 2017

sejica said:

@lmudra I'm noticing a lot of the replies here and your anxiety seem to focus on outcomes for you, but there's also the baby to consider. For instance, the compression of the lungs during a vaginal delivery has shown to lead to better outcomes long term for baby (even in cases of induction).

This is definitely going to be an intense and unpredictable experience for both of you either way, but I am totally confident in your ability to manage your anxiety. My worry for you is that in 'preparing' for CS, you are deferring your anxiety about delivery into the future, where you are more likely to encounter anxiety inducing situations with the health of your baby - higher incidence of breathing problems in CS babies vs vaginal delivered baby.

Personally, I trust my OB. This is my first, and I plan to labor as natural as possible, for as long as the medical professionals will let me. If they decide we need to do a CS, then I will do my best to face that then. I take comfort that there are 3 types of CS, planned, unplanned, and emergency. I hope if I have to have a CS, it is the unplanned type, but I acknowledge it is out of my control.

I think most mom's would do anything for their children, and for me, that includes dealing with the anxiety about the uncertanties of delivery to give my baby the best chances. You (and your team) can do this. It's hours for you, but the rest of your life for your child.

Qfp:

While I can see what you were trying to say, I think your approach was rude and judgemental. I'd like to think that it was unintentional.

Kylieslip24 · April 2017

If you do decide to go vaginally, or really either way, make sure you are ready to deal with your anxiety. Talk to your dr and hospital about how to make it a calming environment, make sure whoever is in there with you is positive and supportive. Do Whatever helps you with anxiety normally. Meditate, surround yourself with baby stuff, essential oils... make sure you've done your hospital tour, meet some nurses (they will be your besties by the time you leave), take a childbirth class.
all these things will really help you to be able to picture things going well.
I lost two babies before bringing dd home. I was so scared to give birth to her because I thought she wouldn't make it. But everything turned out good, the Drs and nurses did everything they could to keep us alive and healthy and even as comfortable as possible. It will go well with you too. You've made it this far, you can finish the race and it will be so worth it! You've got this!

lmudra · April 2017

Thank you @Kylieslip24. The labor and delivery unit was very nice (fancy even) and looked very calm. They even have those battery operated candles and ambient lighting if you don't want hospital lights on. They have tubs in the room etc...I think that will help like you said.

sejica · April 2017

@lmudra I apologize. I totally failed there. I was trying to be encouraging, but as I reread it, that is not at all how I came across. I also suffer from anxiety, so maybe I was more trying to psych myself up for this. I absolutely agree that your mental health is a vital part of caring for your family. Please accept my sincerest apology for my total failure to provide any of the support and encouragement I intended.

@neludelu completely and totally unintentional. I definitely did come off as rude, judgemental and holier than thou. I will try to do better, or stick to gtky posts. Fwiw I'm bad at this in real life too.

@Stankonia2014 I was totally out of line, you are so right, and spot on on all accounts. I was an ass. I would edit the original post, but I'm certain I'd make this all worse.

neludelu · April 2017

sejica said:

@lmudra I apologize. I totally failed there. I was trying to be encouraging, but as I reread it, that is not at all how I came across. I also suffer from anxiety, so maybe I was more trying to psych myself up for this. I absolutely agree that your mental health is a vital part of caring for your family. Please accept my sincerest apology for my total failure to provide any of the support and encouragement I intended.

@neludelu completely and totally unintentional. I definitely did come off as rude, judgemental and holier than thou. I will try to do better, or stick to gtky posts. Fwiw I'm bad at this in real life too.

@Stankonia2014 I was totally out of line, you are so right, and spot on on all accounts. I was an ass. I would edit the original post, but I'm certain I'd make this all worse.

I'm the worst with coming off holier than thou. I'm the biggest unintentional dbag in real life.

email2ash · April 2017

I personally wouldn't opt for a CS if you don't have to. It's a harder recovery on your body.

When having DS my water broke the night before my due date but then I wasn't progressing fast enough so they started me on Pitocin around 9am the next day. He wasn't born until 8:30pm on his due date but I went through plenty of hours of very managing pain before it escalated to wanting an EPI.

I know now it's hard, especially the unknown but women have been doing it for centuries! And we still go back to have more

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