Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
catem07
member
Re: Postpartum blues, anxiety, and depression support thread
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
You are so right on the feeling like super mom one minute and a failure the next. Now that I think about it, I guess these feelings never go away! For example, DS had been doing great at not wetting his underwear and I felt like mission accomplished! Then the other day, he POOPED in his underwear...which he hadn't done in months and its like what did I do? Have we been focusing too much on preparing for baby that he just didn't care or was it a sign of look at me? Motherhood is so tough sometimes.
@beemaya83
Very true on the DH helping with night time feedings.
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
So far DD is doing great at nursing - it's only been a week but I feel way more confident than I did with DS so I am praying everything keeps up how it is.
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
I think too it just being the second time around and knowing how hard it is or can be has helped me stay calm too and knowing to not struggle along if it's not going well at any point - get help or make a switch if necessary.
I know that isn't much help at all but seriously the second time around things feel (at least so far, knock on wood!) so much less chaotic!
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
So, backstory...with DS, he latched great and right away, nursed like a champ, but my supply never came in. I essentially was starving him (he lost 20% of his birth weight in 5 days) and he was dehydrated to the point that he had to be put on fluids and supplemented with formula. I worked ridiculously hard with him for 4 months to try and get my supply going before it finally crapped out, and I promised myself that I wouldn't put myself (and the second baby) through all of that if I had issues again.
Now, DD is a terrible latcher. It was more than 3 hours after birth that we were finally able to get her to latch and suck, and she only had one successful feeding yesterday. Today she still struggled all over the place, but if she was able to latch and nurse for a little bit she seemed satisfied. I'm able to hand express colostrum so we're feeling more confident about my supply this time around (but seriously please dear god let my milk come in!). By this afternoon and evening she totally tanked, didn't latch once, no wet diapers, dropped 10% of her weight, signs of dehydration, ugh. She gets so frustrated at the breast because she just doesn't know how to latch, but she tries so hard. I caved and gave her a supplement of formula (after all of my hand expressing to try and get her to breast, I didn't pump hardly anything). It was only 10 mL, and she was calmer enough after it that she did successfully latch and nurse for about 5 more minutes, but goodness do I feel like a shit mom. I was calm through everything until just now when she settled in and fell asleep and was content for the first time all day.
Everyone keeps telling me how I'm "made to make babies" because they're cute, but I can't birth them on my own and I apparently can't feed them the right way either. Ugh. Breastfeeding is literally the number one thing I wanted for my kids, and I feel like I'm already failing at it again.
On the plus side, I already know a lactation consultant and she can see me on Monday after DDs pediatric visit to do a weighted feed and all of that jazz. And I know how to pump and have my pump set up. And she DID still latch after the bottle. And I know that this isn't the end of the world even though it feels like it right now.
(Sorry, writing this is probably just more cathartic to me than actually helpful to anyone else.)
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
I did call my OB yesterday because I'm starting to feel the way I did before my PPD onset last time, so I wanted her to be aware of it. Might still be the hormone crash and my recent sucky news about breastfeeding, so hopefully I can escape without the PP "crazies" (as my friend and I refer to them as, because we both literally felt insane) this time.
Thats exactly what I've been going through. I've had to supplement with formula because my breast milk hasn't come in yet. I've had a little and every day its more and more, but the fact that baby wasn't getting enough and had lost 10% of his birth weight was a little hard to take in.
What pissed me off was that at the hospital I had asked for an electric pump to get things going and the nurses were like "well you dont want to overstimulate yourself and have too much supply". Its like "look lady, i know my body, i know last time I didnt produce enough, i want to get a head start on things"
Anyways, I'm pumping day and night trying to squeeze whatever I can out. As of right now, baby is taking in 1 oz of breast milk and 1 oz of formula.
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17