Ugh. One friend who I realllllly really love and want to be supportive of isn't sure right now whether she and her husband are going to have kids so she's struggling with pregnancy announcements. I told her in the most sensitive way I knew how, in an email saying I know this is something that's hard for them right now and I know she's hurting. She basically said no no no I'm actually fine right now everything is good I want to help you and I'm so excited for you! Yesterday in our group message the other two friends were trying to joke with me to help me with my anxiety about the fact that doctor couldn't find baby in early US yesterday and this morning I woke up to a message basically calling me an insensitive jerk for letting them joke to try to help ease my fear. I totally apologized and said I never want to hurt her, but she was actively participating last night and gave zero indication anything was wrong. I want to be sensitive because I waited two and a half years for this baby and know how hard pregnancy announcements can be first hand but I also need support right now because I'm terrified all the freaking time.
@kaitieb14 I can see how that would be really difficult for her. You're getting what she wants and she'd probably trade places in an instant, anxiety and all, to even have the chance to worry about a baby. But, she should have been more upfront about being able to (or not) handle talking about your pregnancy. Maybe just talk to your other two friends about the pregnancy and use them as support and let her join in as she's comfortable. Insensitive jerk seems a bit of an overreaction though, I think a "Yesterday made me realize I can't talk to you about your pregnancy right now" would have sufficed?
The car that drove through a puddle and splashed me this morning on my walk to work is a TW. I wasn't even close to the curb! Rude. Also this rain is a TW.
My company is the TW right now. We're moving a few hundred miles away over the summer. I want to stay with my company (maternity leave and all that), but they are being so, SO slow about finding something for me. I've been here 10 years and I'm great at my job. Figure something out for me or I'm going to start job hunting with the competitors and take all that business I built up away.
@DuchessOfCambridge oh I totally understand the hard for her part, I've been IN that space for the last two and a half years so I completely empathize. I just feel like lashing out at me with unkind words was just hurtful on purpose and I'd never have even attempted to talk about it with her if I had any idea she didn't want to talk about it, which she knows about me. Just really a tough spot in friendship I guess when both people need support but can't exactly support each other because the ways we need it are completely incompatible.
@kaitieb14 agreed, she should have been more upfront about her feelings. Hopefully she knows deep down you weren't trying to be unkind but is just sad and lashing out because of it (not that I think it's ok to be mean to your friends because you're sad). At least now you know how she really feels and can proceed with caution, it's just too bad you had to find out this way.
Men who refuse to get vasectomies because they think it will be painful or is too much to ask. Because carrying a baby for nine months and then pushing it out a tiny hole or cut out of your body is a piece of cake. (Why isn't there an eye roll emoji here??)
This was a topic in one of my mom groups yesterday and I'm still angry about it!
@kaitieb14 I'm sorry that you and your friend are both hurting. Hopefully she's able to find clarity with her life's challenges right now and she's able to be supportive of you. I'm not sure if giving her a little space is best or if trying to involve her more is better. You can always try either of those techniques and see if something helps her. For you, I hope your other friends are able to offer you the support you need. Plus, we're here!
@kaitieb14 It sounds like you've done everything you can to be a supportive and loving friend and I don't think that was fair of her to say that to you especially if she participated in the commentary. You might need to meet her for lunch and talk it out. I think your fears are valid after the ultrasound.
@kaitieb14 that's so tough. I think you are right that you are just both in a place right now where you need support that the other can't give. Lean on your other two friends, and us!
Men who refuse to get vasectomies because they think it will be painful or is too much to ask. Because carrying a baby for nine months and then pushing it out a tiny hole or cut out of your body is a piece of cake. (Why isn't there an eye roll emoji here??)
This was a topic in one of my mom groups yesterday and I'm still angry about it!
Bwahahaha, this is my husband lol. He said he can't stomach the thought of being in stirrups
My TW is a secretary that works at my child's school. I am president of the PTO and she asked me to email her a copy of a form that she really didn't need. I told her I would when I got a chance, but that things are a little hectic right now. She gave me an awful attitude and mumbled something under her breath. It bothers me because I try to maintain this motto:
"Be kind. Because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."
Luckily I brought it up to DH and he mentioned a lot of his friends have had one and he wouldn't mind, so I didn't have to rage out on him last night! Plus he's been right there in the action during childbirth and he saw eveeeeerything so I think he knows it's the least he can do when we're done having kids!
I'm not quite sure why birth control falls to just women yet birth control is constantly up for debate. Hey bros, you can do something too that doesn't require me to take hormones and you can still get your jollies. Especially since condoms are soooo annoying :eye roll:
Yes, @TallMomma29! DH mentioned something about that the other day. I have a friend who just had a baby and doesn't want any more - he asked if they did a hysterectomy after her c-section. No, DH. No. Major surgery versus little snip? Little snip every time.
@TallMomma29 I think she needs a bounce ball and maybe a nice bath. This walking around isn't cutting it anymore. I want to step in as giraffe doula to help.
I'm not quite sure why birth control falls to just women yet birth control is constantly up for debate. Hey bros, you can do something too that doesn't require me to take hormones and you can still get your jollies. Especially since condoms are soooo annoying :eye roll:
@DuchessOfCambridge I do get a little peeved that our health benefits only cover BC and tubal ligation for women. They do not cover vasectomies. From a cost-effectiveness perspective, the Mirena I had (perforated my uterus so they had to find it during surgery), was $5500 (not counting the laparoscopy). An in-office vasectomy in my area averages $900. It would theoretically be cheaper for the insurance companies to cover a vasectomy.
I'm supposed to be doing laundry and instead I'm on here throwing out a bunch of boring numbers. I'm my own TW.
Little snip, every time. It just makes more sense. Still wondering if we'll find one who won't make us wait until the baby is born, or worse, turning one. We should get on this.
Can I TW my bloat??? I'm short and not thin and this is baby #3 and if this bloat doesn't get under control concealing the fact I'm pregnant until 12 weeks is going to be impossible. Also normally my build is that I'm wider in the hips but have a small waist and not much tummy. So yeah.....
DH is an inadvertent TW today. He slept in until 10, which it was his turn to sleep in so no big deal. But I was up 5 times last night with DS and was just exhausted. So I asked him to watch the kids (babysitting an 18mo) so I could just close my eyes for a bit on the couch. It sounded like the boys were tearing my house down so I couldn't even fall asleep, and DH is just facebooking like nothing is happening. Dude, couldn't you at least have taken them in to the playroom? Now he left for work and I've got to clean up the huge mess they made while I was "resting"
I'm not quite sure why birth control falls to just women yet birth control is constantly up for debate. Hey bros, you can do something too that doesn't require me to take hormones and you can still get your jollies. Especially since condoms are soooo annoying :eye roll:
I'll stop getting political one day.
No don't stop!
Not to be facetious on a real issue, but I think it comes down to who bears the burden. Would you trust a man who said "don't worry baby I'm taking the male pill"? Before my husband, I wouldn't have and I'd be taking my own pill anyway.
But yeah any man who is scared to get a vasectomy deserves every death stare. Totally agree that is absurd.
Am I the TW here...but why do these people who aren't participating otherwise post these random threads about super typical symptoms? Like...we have a symptoms thread...yes insomnia is a pregnancy symptom...
@adirat preachhh on all accounts. Way to be rude on one thread and then start your own AW thread...that's completely unnecessary...because there's already a place for it.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but the symptoms thread we have is 2? weeks old and over 200 posts deep, that's a lot to go through. Symptoms thread is a tough one with everyone at different weeks
Maybe an unpopular opinion but the symptoms thread we have is 2? weeks old and over 200 posts deep, that's a lot to go through. Symptoms thread is a tough one with everyone at different weeks
That was my first thought as well. I'd even started to type a nice response. Then I recognized the screen name from the "high horse" comment and she lost me.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but the symptoms thread we have is 2? weeks old and over 200 posts deep, that's a lot to go through. Symptoms thread is a tough one with everyone at different weeks
Anyone can start a new thread for the week, feel free to do so if you notice. I noticed it was old too but I try not to start more than one a day max. There's also a search bar and honestly even if the same symptom question is asked in the same thread, I don't mind that as much as a whole new thread being started for just one symptom. That's just my opinion on it.
ETA: not all new threads annoy me, I don't anyone to feel like if they start a thread on something I'm sitting here like UGHHH. It's when people who don't support at all or don't try to be part of the community post AW threads that I eye roll. Honestly, if it was a regular poster, I might still think it could go in symptoms thread but I wouldn't have batted an eye.
@ElizabethSchuyler@kissthesky32 But if you had a symptom you wanted to talk about, would you post a random single-topic thread, or would you go into an established thread?
I don't read the "what everyone is eating" thread because all foods make me want to hurl, but if I wanted to talk about food, that's where I'd go. I wouldn't start a new thread about a single food.
@ElizabethSchuyler@kissthesky32 But if you had a symptom you wanted to talk about, would you post a random single-topic thread, or would you go into an established thread?
I don't read the "what everyone is eating" thread because all foods make me want to hurl, but if I wanted to talk about food, that's where I'd go. I wouldn't start a new thread about a single food.
This isn't my first rodeo here on TB and I am assuming from my interactions with @kissthesky32, this isn't hers either.
Re: TW Tuesday
The car that drove through a puddle and splashed me this morning on my walk to work is a TW. I wasn't even close to the curb! Rude. Also this rain is a TW.
This was a topic in one of my mom groups yesterday and I'm still angry about it!
I have so many opinions about expectations of men and women healthcare wise and then healthcare options provided to both and I CAN'T. EVEN.
"Be kind. Because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."
Luckily I brought it up to DH and he mentioned a lot of his friends have had one and he wouldn't mind, so I didn't have to rage out on him last night! Plus he's been right there in the action during childbirth and he saw eveeeeerything so I think he knows it's the least he can do when we're done having kids!
I'll stop getting political one day.
I'm supposed to be doing laundry and instead I'm on here throwing out a bunch of boring numbers. I'm my own TW.
eta: @fiddleRN79 not boring numbers! Totally valid point!
My TW today is the man cold.
Not to be facetious on a real issue, but I think it comes down to who bears the burden. Would you trust a man who said "don't worry baby I'm taking the male pill"? Before my husband, I wouldn't have and I'd be taking my own pill anyway.
But yeah any man who is scared to get a vasectomy deserves every death stare. Totally agree that is absurd.
Am I the TW here...but why do these people who aren't participating otherwise post these random threads about super typical symptoms? Like...we have a symptoms thread...yes insomnia is a pregnancy symptom...
edit -- oh yeah! I forgot that was her. What a delight.
ETA: not all new threads annoy me, I don't anyone to feel like if they start a thread on something I'm sitting here like UGHHH. It's when people who don't support at all or don't try to be part of the community post AW threads that I eye roll. Honestly, if it was a regular poster, I might still think it could go in symptoms thread but I wouldn't have batted an eye.
I don't read the "what everyone is eating" thread because all foods make me want to hurl, but if I wanted to talk about food, that's where I'd go. I wouldn't start a new thread about a single food.