February 2016 Moms
jarob747
member
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Another baby...
jarob747
member
Well guys, my husband and I always knew we wanted another baby. We were going to try when DS is a year, but we've been discussing going ahead and starting to try now that way they can be closer in age and maybe better friends (?) (still no period though and EBF, so don't know if I even can or am ovulating yet). But I am having such mixed emotions now... I want another one so Jacob can have a playmate but then again I love him SOOOOOO much I almost don't want him to have to share me or me share my love and attention to another baby. Is this normal?
Re: Another baby...
Honestly it was hard the first few months when baby was getting all my attention, Dad had to really help out more than normal, but once he started to have a 7/7:30 bedtime with no problems, it left me at least 30 min to sit with my oldest every night, we read, colour, watch TV, or play, he loves it, and I love the 5 year age gap now, my oldest is in Grade 1, so baby gets the same attention all day that my first did!
That said, I see the pros and cons of lots of different age gaps. Having kids within a year or two of each other does seem to make them closer/better friends. I'd love my kids to have that. And waiting longer means your children each get more 1-on-1 time with you, which is also so nice.
I've toyed with the idea of having another one sooner, like now, but my partner said no way. LO will be at least a year old before we start trying (or not not trying); maybe even more, so we're closer to that 3-year gap.
TL;DR: I want another one too. But when??!! That's harder.
After we had our first we had planned on waiting until he was a year old but then decided we didn't want to wait that long in case it took a while to get pregnant. Well we got quite the surprise and it happened right away. Our first two are just 17 months apart.
There were times very early on that I felt guilty that I had another so close to my first and he lost his one on one time with me, but it didn't take long for me to get past that. Now they are very close and do everything together, although it is very much a love/hate relationship. Haha
Overall, we love having all our kids so close in age. We get lots of comments on how busy we must be, but we enjoy it.
The guilt definitely didn't last long (I am thinking hormones played a role in being emotional about it). I just made a point to take time with my oldest and keep him involved so he knew he was still just as important to me. I found it to be pretty easy to manage my time with both of them.
Congratulations @jarob747 I just wanted to repeat what you already know and heard, but it's completely normal to feel sad/anxious/scared to add another LO to you family. I just had my 3rd and I felt those feeling with #2 and #3. In fact I had those feeling off and on during both those pregnancies clear up to the end. When I was on number 2, I talked about it to my mom (who had 5 kids) and she told me she felt like that every time, but once the baby is here, I wouldn't be able to imagine my life without them. She was right. I'm currently snuggling on my 3rd while my older kids are in school and as exhausted as I am, I'm in heaven
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d8d8f" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
I feel as if I could have written your original post - still breastfeeding and still no period, so I don't even know where to begin trying to track my fertility! Please share any tips that helped you.