February 2016 Moms

Another baby...

Well guys, my husband and I always knew we wanted another baby. We were going to try when DS is a year, but we've been discussing going ahead and starting to try now  that way they can be closer in age and maybe better friends (?) (still no period though and EBF, so don't know if I even can or am ovulating yet). But I am having such mixed emotions now... I want another one so Jacob can have a playmate but then again I love him SOOOOOO much I almost don't want him to have to share me or me share my love and attention to another baby. Is this normal? 

Re: Another baby...

  • I'm wanting another so bad ! We had secondary infertility and it took 7 years to get Zoey I am so scared it will happen again.  I've been bugging my husband to start trying already.
  • @mrsc12414  What a blessing it is to have Zoey :) even though easier said than done, Try not to stress. It took us a year to have Jacob and it was easy to get discouraged in that year, I can only imagine 7.  
  • When we were expecting our second I was so sad thinking about having to split my time between both kids, and my first was 5!

    Honestly it was hard the first few months when baby was getting all my attention, Dad had to really help out more than normal, but once he started to have a 7/7:30 bedtime with no problems, it left me at least 30 min to sit with my oldest every night, we read, colour, watch TV, or play, he loves it, and I love the 5 year age gap now, my oldest is in Grade 1, so baby gets the same attention all day that my first did!


    =caenis=jarob747
  • Ideally I'd like about a 3-year age gap between LO and our next. It worked out really well for my brother and me - we grew up pretty close and loved playing together. My mom (who has a degree in child development) insists it's the perfect gap because the older sib is starting to get more independent around that age, but isn't so much older that bonding/identifying with younger sib is an issue.

    That said, I see the pros and cons of lots of different age gaps. Having kids within a year or two of each other does seem to make them closer/better friends. I'd love my kids to have that. And waiting longer means your children each get more 1-on-1 time with you, which is also so nice.

    I've toyed with the idea of having another one sooner, like now, but my partner said no way. LO will be at least a year old before we start trying (or not not trying); maybe even more, so we're closer to that 3-year gap.

    TL;DR: I want another one too. But when??!! That's harder.
    jarob747
  • I think it's very normal. Especially if he's your first. Carmine is my fourth baby and our last. I have a 7 year old, 5 year old, my third will be 4 next month and obviously an 8 month old. I love having them close. My girls are the closest (19 months apart). I love it and they're best friends. But I personally like the little gap. There are many pros and cons but I think it just depends on you. It came fairly easy to me but I always have people ask me "how I do it"? lol. You definitly need patience and routine/schedule is key for me. My husband is in the military and gone a lot so it has been mostly all me. But I'm happy to be fairly young and done having children. That is why I chose to have my kids close and for them to have someone to play with etc. I'll admit they're never bored. Also be easy on your body with the back to back pregnancies. Everyone is different. I would make a list and see all the pros. 
    jarob747
  • I agree that it is completely normal. We also just had our 4th and last baby. We have 4 boys, ages 6 1/2, 5, 3 next month, and 8 months.

    After we had our first we had planned on waiting until he was a year old but then decided we didn't want to wait that long in case it took a while to get pregnant. Well we got quite the surprise and it happened right away. Our first two are just 17 months apart.

    There were times very early on that I felt guilty that I had another so close to my first and he lost his one on one time with me, but it didn't take long for me to get past that. Now they are very close and do everything together, although it is very much a love/hate relationship. Haha

    Overall, we love having all our kids so close in age. We get lots of comments on how busy we must be, but we enjoy it.


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    jarob747
  • @SarahChristine12 do you feel like 17 months apart was too close? This is exactly where we are right now if we were to conceive. We don't want it to take a year like it did for this baby so we are contemplating trying now. Did it take long to get rid of the guilt? I love him so much and honestly feel like I could totally be ok with just loving him and giving him all of me, but for his sake I want him to have a playmate. And we love babies/kids so another would be great, but don't want to steal anything from this baby. That sounds silly I think, but I just can't help it. 
  • No, I dont feel it was too close. For us, I felt like the age gap was good. I guess it probably all depends on the person. 

    The guilt definitely didn't last long (I am thinking hormones played a role in being emotional about it). I just made a point to take time with my oldest and keep him involved so he knew he was still just as important to me. I found it to be pretty easy to manage my time with both of them.


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    jarob747
  • I'm so glad I read this post on the bump about baby number two on today's feed. What a game changer for me. I'm thankful I read this before baby next baby is conceived so I don't have the regret of not embracing it as much as I did this loveable 9 month old I have :) 
  • **lurking from F17**

    Congratulations @jarob747 I just wanted to repeat what you already know and heard, but it's completely normal to feel sad/anxious/scared to add another LO to you family. I just had my 3rd and I felt those feeling with #2 and #3. In fact I had those feeling off and on during both those pregnancies clear up to the end. When I was on number 2, I talked about it to my mom (who had 5 kids) and she told me she felt like that every time, but once the baby is here, I wouldn't be able to imagine my life without them. She was right. I'm currently snuggling on my 3rd while my older kids are in school and as exhausted as I am, I'm in heaven  <3. Goodluck with your pregnancy!! 
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    jarob747
  • That's fabulous. Congratulations! Your little guy will hopefully get a good friend and playmate out of his new sib - so this might be excellent news for him, too. :)
    jarob747
  • Congratulations!!! That's so exciting! I've been attempting to talk my husband into another baby ,we already have 3(almost 14,almost 10and then almost 13months)
    jarob747
  • jarob747jarob747 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 19
    Thanks guys :) :)  and @kswiger06  :) thank you! That really helps! Good luck @taitai82
    dreamingofbabies
  • @jarob747 I am expecting #2 Nov. 8, see you on the November board :)
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img 
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d8d8f" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    jarob747
  • @sarahunderthesea yay!!! Congrats!  I probably won't be to active until after delivery as that's when I have all my questions. But I'll see ya there! 
  • Congratulations!

     I feel as if I could have written your original post - still breastfeeding and still no period, so I don't even know where to begin trying to track my fertility! Please share any tips that helped you.
  • jarob747jarob747 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @MichelleAG05  thank you, I'm sorry I have no tips at all. I just took pregnancy tests every month :) my period came back regular for Jan and Feb. (My LO turned a year Feb 11th & weaned himself from bf two weeks before, but I was determined to make it to a year so I pumped the last two weeks.) I got my positive result March 16th. It's difficult when you have no dates to go by. I guess it will just happen when it happens. Best of luck to you!
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