GTKY: Birth Order

carries2018 · March 2017

What is your birth order? Likes/dislikes about it? Do you fit the mold? Do you want a similar family size?

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beezeee · March 2017

I'm the first born of two. I 100% fit the typical profile. We will probably end up with 2 (we both come from families with 2 kids), but I have always wanted 3. Growing up, I often wished we had another sibling - probably because I had an annoying little brother and just wanted a sister. Haha.

carries2018 · March 2017

I am 3rd/last out of 3 girls. My sisters are 10 and 7.5 years older than me so I have a little only child in me as well. But both last child and only child fit me. I love the dynamic of 3 so I have always wanted 3, but i am also really hypersensitive about the 3rd feeling left out bc of the age gap i felt that a lot. but I don't know why in a lot of ways it was good, i have a great relationship with my parents and now that we are older the age gap isnt even a thing.

kkerner87 · March 2017

Whenever I say "I'm the baby" I feel like I have to follow up with "gotta love me" (from The Dinosaurs, haha). Anyway, I liked it, but I always felt like "someone" was missing. Like a little brother or sister. Idk if I really "fit the mold" of the younger child. DH is the middle of 5 kids (2 older and 2 younger siblings). He said he always had to fight for attention.

Mommaswizz · March 2017

I'm the youngest and only girl of 3 kids. I fit the stereotypical bill. DH is eldest of 3 boys and he 100% fits the profile of overachieving eldest. This stuff is always so interesting to me. Curious to find out if my kids will follow birth order stereotypes too. We're torn between being done at 2 kids or eventually going for a third down the road.

jessafishy · March 2017

I'm the oldest of 4 and that definitely fits me. DH is the youngest of 3 with a large age gap between he and his brothers and I would say he falls somewhere in between last and only in personality.

VLillyV · March 2017

Ohh I like this one! I am a first born of three if we consider full blooded siblings. I am the middle of 5 if we consider half siblings. I don't really associate with the half siblings, therefore, I will stick with my being first born.

I was the only female out of all borns, so that was unique in it's own sense. It was nice because I was given some special considerations but at the same time, there were some drawbacks. I feel that my being the first, there was a lot more responsibility and expectation then my younger siblings. I received a lot of pressure to conform to standards (that I never lived up to or bothered to reach) which made me very rebellious. I ultimately developed a very different style of thinking then my parents and younger siblings. I believe most of that is because I am female in a traditionally male family with Hispanic male mentality (aka machista).

I somewhat fit the mold but not particularly. I am an achiever in my own goals, controlling, and reliable.

I'm not sure about the same sized family. This is my first. DH has mentioned he'd like two. We may stop then or we may go for three. I enjoyed being able to at some point have all of my siblings in school with me and guide them through the beginning of each new experience. I liked walking home with them too. Ultimately though, I am undecided.

curlyq423 · March 2017

I'm weird. I'm my mom and dad's only child together. So on week days I was an only child.

My dad remarried and he and my step mom have two kids, so I'm the oldest there. I would see them every other weekend.

My mom remarried and my stepdad had two kids from his previous marriage, so I'm the youngest there. I would also see them every other weekend.

carries2018 · March 2017

@VLillyV that is a really interesting thought process on why you dont think you are 100% first born. my oldest sister is the exact opposite of first born, really the only word that fits her is reliable. it is my personal mission to figure out why, bc my middle sister and I are so text book.

carries2018 · March 2017

@curlyq423 based on the personality traits, what order(s) do you think you most identify with?

riverrainez · March 2017

I'm the first of two with a younger brother, and DH is the younger of two with an older sister. We want 2 kids. My personality is more like a middle child. My brother and I were only 16 months apart and growing up I found him to be totally annoying because he could do everything I could do, and I never felt like I got any special privileges for being older.

We get along great now. But I wanted more space between our kids.

canonmom413 · March 2017

This is a tough question for me. I am technically an only child. I grew up in a household by myself. I have two half brothers ( same mom) , but they lived with their dad. So while I saw them often, i was with my dad more and of course was his only kid. So I'm an only and the baby.

emwj10187 · March 2017

I'm the first born, now that we're both adults it doesn't make much of a difference. But when we were younger (I'm 5 years older) it definitely did.

Not sure how big i want our family to be. Right now I'm leaning towards 1 and done. but minds do change.

mrs_fogue · March 2017

Technically I'm two part on this. My parents divorced and remarried when I was young so I've grown up with blended family. Between my mom an dad, I'm the oldest. But between my mom and step-dad, I'm the middle youngest.

I can certainly say most of both apply to me. I always laugh because when we were young, it was just me and my brother and I always begged for more siblings. It just so happened, and without knowing, that my parents both remarried on the exact same day so I got 5 extra sisters all at once. I loved it and wouldn't trade them for the world.

JessDG · March 2017

DH and I are both first born or two. I have a younger brother and he has a younger sister. We both definitely fit the first born profile!

We would definitely like more than 1 kid, but no clue as to where we will stop. My age will definitely play a factor and how close we end up having them. I'd assume we'll have 2 or 3 and that works for me. I'm not totally opposed to having more than 3 kids though. Neither of us hated having 2 kids in our families though!

curlyq423 · March 2017

@carries2018 I would say I fit more of a first child mold. Definitely not a youngest child mold, my younger half sister fits that one perfectly!!!

purplestarz · March 2017

Only child here. Other than "leader" and "center of attention" it fits me. I hate attention, and would never characterize myself as a leader. Everything else is pretty spot on, and out of all of them I definitely relate to it the most.

I gained a couple step siblings when I was 21, but I'm not counting them. We don't talk now other than Christmas cards, and I never lived with them.

And yes, it's directly affected my decision to have 2. Honestly, I loved being an only child. I was never lonely which was a huge misconception about only children. However, I've said this elsewhere, it's being an "only adult" that kind of sucks. Especially when I start thinking about dealing with parents mortality on my own (yes I have DH but it would
be nice to have a sibling, I imagine). I also think about my kids not having many cousins since I don't have siblings and that's a little bit of a bummer, too.

natleilynn · March 2017

I'm the youngest, and while people who know my brother and I probably would say that I'm more outgoing and social than he is, I have way more of the first child traits than he does. I would almost say he's more of a middle child based on this.

Interestingly, I married a first born and he also married a first born. I think DH fits first born very well, but I think my SIL fits last born to a T.

I feel like my brother and I were raised differently than most of the world, though. We were born and raised in a very small, rural, poor country area. Our parents were older when they had us, especially for 30+ years ago. There's over a 10 year age gap between DH's parents and my parents. It may sound weird, but I think that has a lot to do with how we turned out. Not in a bad way, but I've always been the "mom" of my friend groups. I think it's because kids my age didn't live close by and I spent a lot of time with my mom and her friends growing up.

crazypuglady · March 2017

I'm the first born.. I mostly fit the description except I'm not a leader lol. I also can be quite lazy, so I'm not motivated all the time.

DH is also first born and he is pretty much all the things. Not terribly controlling... but once he makes a decision he won't be swayed. He's also not particularly conscientious... but he's not NOT either.

My middle sister only has a couple things on the list... but my youngest sister is everything but uncomplicated.

I want 2 kids. DH says I'm lucky to get him to agree to 1. We'll see how the first one goes lol. (I think I can break him!)

acnd08 · March 2017

I'm an only child and this fits me exactly. Most all descriptions of only children have that I've read, haha. My DH likes to blame some of my behavior on what he calls my "only child syndrome"

He's the 2nd of 5 kids, so we have no middle ground when it comes to this.

acnd08 · March 2017

@purplestars - I had to comment to a fellow only

Like you, I loved being an only child growing up. I was never lonely, my parents kept me in lots of activities, and I was happy as can be by myself. I 1000% agree with your statement on it being an "only adult" that sucks. I could not agree more! It is the factor that made me decide, God willing, I would never have an only child myself.

My Father died when I was 25. My Mother, who has never been the best about making decisions and gets completely frantic in stressful situations, completely shut down so that left me. During his 3 weeks in ICU, I had to make decisions that could have gone either way. "There is this option or that option and either way you go his chances are 50/50.." type stuff. We eventually had to take him off life support and that decision ultimately fell on me. I signed all the paperwork. I planned his entire funeral. I had my husband, but at the end of the day, it was MY Father and my decision. At 25 I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Granted, I know other people go through far worse at much younger ages, but for me....this was the event that made me swear I would never ever do it to any children of mine if I could help it. Never, ever, ever, ever.

hippiegirl884 · March 2017

I'm the middle but only girl. I have an older brother and had a younger brother who died when I was about 6 years old (he was about 3 when he died). I fit the middle child mold though and pretty easy going and I think I got plenty attention being the only girl.
At first we were only going to have 2 and adopt at least one when the other kids were a little bit older and in school, ***tw***but we had a pregnancy last year that ended early**end tw** and we realized we wanted another one. Most everyone in my family had 3 kiddos and it was nice to have that dynamic in the families. I feel like there was always an older sibling that got to watch over the younger one and keep everyone busy.

Mommaswizz · March 2017

@acnd08 if i wasn't completely positive you weren't, i would think you are secretly one of my best friends posting. She had a similar experience as an only child and losing her dad at 28. She has always said it took 28 years for her to feel like being an only child was a bad thing and how she would have loved a sibling to lean on while her mother couldnt. I had never thought of it that way until she said it.

acnd08 · March 2017

@Mommaswizz I completely second what your friend said! It took me those 25 years to realize it wasn't so great being alone. I realize there is no guarantee you'll be surrounded by support if you have siblings, but I promise just the thought of there being someone would have brought me some comfort. The fights I witnessed growing up between friends and their siblings that I was so thankful I didn't have, have now given way to watching those relationships they share as adults and wishing so badly that I knew what that was like. My DH has 3 sisters that I am incredibly close to and blessed to have a good relationship with, but it's not the same. I'm never going to really be part of that bond they share.

I'm sure there are people that would disagree with all I said and say being an only child was still wonderful, but this was my experience, lol. Not all it's cracked up to be!

nbcarlson · March 2017

I am the second oldest of 5. I am a mix of the oldest and middle though. I am definitely the leader, motivated, responsible one. I did sometimes feel left out or forgotten, though I think that has more to do with my sister being only 11 months younger than me. I am not very social or much of a peacemaker.

My parents totally made my sister the baby and she has not done much in her life nor has my older brother. My older brother was a major trouble maker and he took a lot of their time and energy and anytime my sister did anything it was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done. I became very internally motivated which I really appreciate now. It was not very fun growing up but I wouldn't change it.

ETA: I do not want a big family like mine. 3 is good for me!

lemonlyman · March 2017

Love this question! I'm the oldest of four and each of us completely fit our "birth order" descriptions haha.

I have a love/hate relationship with being the oldest. On one hand, the two siblings closest to my age were the greatest sidekicks around and thought I knew everything

On the other hand, our parents were SUPER strict with me...and then once they realized they were going way overboard, they loosened restrictions for each sibling—to the point that my youngest sister is completely out of control and was rarely given a consequence. (Can anyone else relate??)

It's definitely influenced our decisions with family planning. My husband was an only child and basically adored by everyone in his tiny hometown, so I think he would have been okay with just one kid. But I always knew I wanted my kids to have at least one sibling, and once I pointed out the benefits, he was totally on board! Our son's sidekick is due Oct. 17

baker1jm2 · March 2017

Oldest and 100% fit the mold. Hubby is youngest and it describes him perfectly. We're going to see how #2 goes before we decide on a third

jessafishy · March 2017

@lemonlyman I totally relate! My sisters aren't even 2 years younger than me but the expectations my parents had for me were always well above those they had for my sisters. As a result my sisters were never as self sufficient as I was. My baby brother, however, is much more like I am and even though he was coddled (and struggles with some things now because of it) he definitely is much more independent than my sisters were.

sqfibemom · March 2017

Biologically I am the youngest (two older brothers). When I was 13 my parents started fostering and they only take babies so after that I was the oldest in the house (they took up to three kids at a time so I became the oldest of 2-4). Then when I was 20 they adopted my brother so now I'm a middle for life haha! The only thing I liked about being the youngest was that my parents had eased up a bit and were more open minded by the time I came around. I enjoy being a middle/oldest. I've always liked taking care of others.

Reading the descriptions, I think I'm a mash up of all of them haha! My oldest and youngest are very much like the descriptions above but my middle is not haha!

I LOVED when my parents started fostering and life was chaos all the time haha! I loved piling in and out of the car and the loud house and the love and cuddles and all of that. That's why I want 4, it;s more than what I initially grew up wiht but it's still manageable for us

lemonlyman · March 2017

@jessafishy Glad I'm not alone! When I was 13, I vowed to keep a journal of the age-appropriate privileges/consequences for my future kids so that the oldest wouldn't suffer as I had, haha. Dramatic? Yes. Perfectionistic? A little bit. Still trying to figure out how to implement it? Definitely

jessafishy · March 2017

@lemonlyman that sounds like something I would do.

The worst thing I remember my parents trying to do was hire a girl who was only a year older than me to babysit all four of us. Mostly because my sisters wouldn't have listened to me (because they were raging brats). I am pretty sure I just put my foot down and was like "uh, no."

ac1259 · March 2017

So I'm weird. In my immediate family of people I grew up with I'm the oldest. I have 2 step sisters who are older and an older half sister but I never lived with any of them so I wouldn't really consider myself a middle. I'm definitely an oldest personality, my sister is definitely a last born. I'm slightly concerned about my current "baby" because she totally fits the last born personality right now and she's going to be a middle now...I think it might be good for her because I don't think she'd ever let herself be left out or forgotten about, I just hope it doesn't change her. I think she'll be a really good big sister though so I hope it's good for her.

Sparklelily · March 2017

I am a first born but the only word that really fits me is cautious. Middle child sounds more like me, adaptable and a people pleaser. My DS is only just turning two and is such an only child personality, and I can see him taking on a first born personality easily. He's such a serious little guy, who likes to get things done right. Interesting to think about.

yasandson · March 2017

Im the oldest of two. My sister and I were borned 18 months apart. She def fits the mold, but I dont. I fit more the description of a middle born. The only adjective that suits me in my category is reliable... Oh and i am quite lazy too, feel motivated if *need be* lol.
Hubby is a middle born, has an older sister and a younger one ( i looove the fact that he grew up with mostly women) and he fits the description per-fect-ly❤️

ksf13 · March 2017

I'm the oldest of 4 and DH is the oldest of 3. I'd say we both mostly fit the description. I'm not much of a perfectionist though lol. I'm always the planner for family vacations and such (with the whole family!). We both only want two.

MCraig1484 · March 2017

I'm the oldest of 2, my brother is 6 1/2 years younger than me, and I definitely fit the description of the first born and my brother fits the description of the youngest. My husband is an only child and he definitely fits that descriptions other than the center of attention part. I think being 1 of 2 definitely has affected my decision that I want two as well and I think for my husband being an only child made him decide that he wanted at least 2.

@lemonlymon @jessafishy I felt the same way, my parents were much stricter with me and basically let me brother do whatever he wanted...probably part of that was because he's a boy too

KSweet · March 2017

@purplestars That is how I feel! Every once in awhile I would imagine what it would be like to have a sibling but it's now as an adult that I really wish I had one. I would have liked to have had a sister to share pregnancies with. I would like someone else to share concerns about my parents with, especially since they're divorced. And it would be fun to share holidays with someone else.

Crystal7perry · March 2017

I'm #1 of 4 and definitely fit the first born mould. I would say my younger siblings pretty much fit theirs too. I absolutely loved growing up in a family with 4 kids, there was always something going on in our house. I would totally have 4 kids too but time is ticking so I'm pretty sure we will be done with 3. I'm ok with that. DH is the eldest of 2 boys and he's a firstborn too. He would have been content with 2 but I was persistent on getting my 3rd.

@lemonlymon you hit the nail on the head when it comes to what sucks about being the oldest. My parents were so strict with me and I didn't even push limits. It sucked watching them loosen up with first my sister (21 months younger than me), and then my brothers. And let me tell you, they had total double standards when it came to girls vs boys. It still makes me angry when I think about it. I vow to never be like that... Which has been easy so far since I only have 2 boys lol.

asickles98 · March 2017

I am the middle of three and the only girl. Middle child fits me pretty well although the older I get the less social I am. Hubby is the second youngest of five, the first born personality traits fit him better than middle.

When I was a kid, I hated being one of three. Someone was always left out when it came to riding rides at the fair are at Six Flags. So I was very much against having odd number children. Fast forward 30 years, and I'm on my fifth. Since this is our last I decided that if we ever take the kids to amusement park we're taking a cousin with us.

Boobopgirl · March 2017

I'm oldest of 2 but definitely act like a middle. I have always wanted more than two, much to my mom's dismay. She thinks we're "doing this just to spite her".

cactusblossum · March 2017

I'm 1 of 3 and fit it to a tee. H is 2 of 3 and fits it sorta. We're planning on two. For awhile I was starting to think I could be convinced for 3 but I've been so sick and tired it's hard to imagine doing thing again knowing what I was getting into, let alone doing it again twice

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