March 2017 Moms

STM Check-In (Third and fourth timers too!)

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Re: STM Check-In (Third and fourth timers too!)

  • ahh! @kjd291 good luck! you'll do great i'm sure. I'm anticipating a very early bed time for myself once I'm flying solo haha talk about devoting constant attention 
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  • @kjd291 Don't feel bad if you end up with a lot of screen time, lol. I'm usually pretty strict about it, but Wednesday my toddler watched something like 2.5 hours of tv at points through the day.  :s I recommend season 5 of Daniel Tiger when he gets a baby sister. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @kjd291 Don't feel bad if you end up with a lot of screen time, lol. I'm usually pretty strict about it, but Wednesday my toddler watched something like 2.5 hours of tv at points through the day.  :s I recommend season 5 of Daniel Tiger when he gets a baby sister. 
    Right!? The mom guilt is so real. Hah. I was such a screen free mom until pregnancy--you do what you gotta do!!
  • So--day one solo highlight thus far--> rushing around with two crying and pinching DD1s finger in the pantry door.  Which of course upset me more then her so I sat on the ground and cried about it. 
  • hippiemama-2hippiemama-2 member
    edited March 2017
    @kjd291 hang in there, Mama!! I scratch/pinched DSs face today on accident and completely cried too. Being a mom is HARD on the heart. ❤
  • @kjd291 Bless your heart. I'm not sure what I would do with both kids alone all day. Sending DS1 to preschool during the day is a godsend.
    Alex
    married to M since 6.13.09
    T - 3.3.14
    A - 2.24.17
  • @kjd291 Tell me about it. Today my two year old had a heartbreaking meltdown when he had to wait so long for me to finish changing Alice's diaper. (It was a twofer....as soon as the new diaper went on, she had a massive poop.) He was just sobbing his little heart out on the floor. There was a literal puddle of tears, lol. Thank the Lord for rock n plays...I could lay her in one for a good fifteen minutes to cuddle and reassure him that even if he had to wait I still have time for him. Two kids might be the death of me. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • aaaand my usually rock star sleeper of a DS has officially gone on strike  :'( he's refusing to go down. i can only assume its bc of the new baby. idk what to do. co sleeping isn't an option..i just feel so bad
  • @Gators&BoSox I'm so sorry.  :/ That's my nightmare scenario. My little guy has been waking up recently and it sucks since he normally puts himself to sleep and would sleep through the night. I hope he doesn't go from waking up in the night to completely going on strike. 
  • thanks @kiyamurph .. he finally did go down. just breaks my heart. i hope your little guys stays on the straight and narrow
  • Thanks ya'll <3 today is a new day! We got this!  ((And hopefully because it's the weekend you also all have people around to help you out!!)) 
  • @kjd291 Being alone with 2 is tough!! Especially since yours are so close in age! We had our first 2 long days alone (DH works as a PA doing 14hour shifts) and it was awesome and terrible all at the same time! You got this! 

    @Gators&amp;BoSox DS did this for a couple days. I had to lay down with him for a few minutes and sing extra songs. Eventually, I would just leave and lock him in his room. He only cried for a minute and then went to sleep. It broke my heart, but figure it's better to be consistent and keep our routine so he gets used to things :( 
  • Don't know how I missed this thread!

    When are you due/How old is bab
    y? March 17th 

    How old are your other kids? Share names if you'd like!
       Autumn is 3.5 

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM: My daughter is so headstrong I'm just scared because all my energy goes into our daily routine and keeping her out of trouble. She's the type that if I turn around she will get into something. This worries me, being babies take up quite a lot of attention. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : At this point I'm just thinking of a growing sibling relationship. I know it will take a while but I hope they grow to love spending time with eachother. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions

    GTKY: SAHM? Returning to work? How long is your leave/post-partum plans: I will be returning to work March 2018. I get a year off, but I may have to look for a new job because I won't be returning to the same amount of hours I will need. 
  • @Lexxilou1986 ya we are definitely staying the consistent route. we were in the process of pushing his bed time back a little so we are still doing that. tonight i put him down with a book (kid LOVES books) so that if he decides not to sleep right away he will hopefully not scream. so far so good 
  • @kjd291 don't feel guilty about celebrating bedtime..i did that BEFORE we had DD!! I do understand what you mean though about the relationship changing with the first. DS is wicked sweet to his little sister and hasn't tried to do anything to her but  i do find my patience running a bit shorter with him and I have to keep reminding myself that he is going through just as much as I am. mom guilt just might be the death of me if it wouldn't put me in a continual state of contrition for leaving them lol

    as to the list you posted..i'd pay 100 dollars to go to target alone for more than 15 minutes and not worry about the kids..one day we will get there!... and i'll probably cry tears of elation:
     
  • @kjd291 Thank you for that list...I really needed it today! I never changed out of my jammies, yelled at DS..several times, watched tv most of the day and am now switching from coffee to wine. I am tired.

    Also, so sorry DD is giving you so much anxiety. Hopefully it will ease in time! 
  • Yes!!!! And equally weird/upsetting was going through the process again with DD3, now protecting her from the "baby" I protected from DD1. I'd never ever ever felt an ounce of anger toward my precious tiny baby DD2... Until I came home from the hospital and she promptly tripped and fell onto DD3s swing. I instinctually screamed at her and pulled her away. Never felt so much guilt in my life. OMG I hope we aren't forming permanent memories just yet.
  • kjd291kjd291 member
    edited March 2017
    @Gators&amp;BoSox thanks :* and oh-don't worry--ive celebrated many a bedtime too ;} it's just a little different now. 
    I'm glad your DS is being sweet to his sister!! I don't know where this little bully came from (well I do-I get that having a new baby is rough) just strange to see my usually shy/gentle/overly sensitive kiddo act like a big tough bully 

    @Lexxilou1986 thank the lord for coffee and wine - I have a couple mom friends that don't drink alcohol... I don't fully understand how they survive. 

    @Cbeanz I figured I wasn't the only one feeling that way... sorry its the same mom guilt happening there too!  I'm sure they won't remember any of it!!
  • Wow I feel that guilt too. Like I cry a lot over it. Even though DS1 has been amazing with his little brother and has been super protective (he is 7 so big age difference). But when he comes home he sanitizes/washes his hands and wants to touch his brother and it annoys me because all I can think is "germs". I feel so guilty and never felt like that with him before. 

    Tonight I passed the baby off to dh and spent some quality time with DS1. He needed the special time and so did I. 

    I'm sure these feelings with dissipate with time. Right now our babies are fragile and we're in protective momma mode. When they get older and can walk/play more I'm sure we'll ease up and just hope they don't team up to burn the house down. 


    I really felt like a monster for having those feelings towards DS1. I'm so grateful I'm not alone and this is normal. 
    Me: 32 DH: 34
    Baby #1 - January 2010
    Baby #2 - March 2017

     
  • Ohhhh count me in the boat feeling guilty protecting new LO. My 3 year old is so sweet and loving towards her sister but there's still some things she doesn't understand yet. I went for a pee while baby was in her crib sleeping and all of a sudden I hear her mobile start playing... Instantly I thought OH NO. I run to her room and my 3 year old is in the crib laying down cuddling her sister! Which is so so so sweet, but at the same time wow what if something happened? I went for a freaking pee! She managed to find a tiny stool and climb over the crib rail! She says "but she is sooooo cute and I love her, I wanted to cuddle her"... My heart was broken giving her trouble. Myself and DD1 have just been breaking each other's hearts the past 5 days. I just miss her, and all the time she got to spend with just me. Mom guilt. 

    I also found her in the baby bassinet with a pacifier in her mouth. (Baby was not in the bassinet) but my heart broke because this behaviour just shows that she's trying to deal with such big changes and I had to give her trouble for being in the bassinet. She doesn't fully understand that it can hurt her or the baby. 
  • Oh @Burrberrymum that sounds so sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time! 
     I'm comforted by this thread, you guys, because I feel like im on the verge of losing my shit. Breastfeeding is such a crazy commitment at the beginning with all the cluster feeding. I can barely put her down long enough to take care of my own basic needs, much less anything else. Taking care of DS (age 2.5), cooking dinner, taking care of the house.... it feels absolutely impossible right now, because it IS impossible. DH is amazing and has been doing so much. But I'm frustrated and crying right now because I just feel completely helpless. 
    Sorry for the pity party! 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @MahiMama I liked your post because I'm right there with ya! And my girl sleeps all the time. What am I gonna do when she "wakes up" next week???
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @longliveregina mine did too for the first week! Unfortunately, I was all crazy anxious and couldn't sleep longer than an hour at a time then. She still sleeps great, but only if she's snuggled up with me. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @MahiMama do you babywear? My wrap has been the only way to get anything done.
    But I feel you - last night picture at my house pre-dinner time : baby with a half changed diaper on the kitchen floor, dinner burning on the stove, toddler throwing a tantrum because I didn't let her help wipe the baby's poop off, husband texting saying he's running late.... mama losing her shit!

    youve got this! :day at a time! This too shall pass! 
  • @kjd291 I have that boba wrap but when I try to do things with it DS slips down. Am I wrapping wrong? 
    Me: 32 DH: 34
    Baby #1 - January 2010
    Baby #2 - March 2017

     
  • @kjd291 that description sounds just like my life! I seriously admire your positivity and optimism. 
    I didn't like baby wearing with DS until he was a bit older... it makes me nervous when they're so tiny and squishy. I feel a lot better when they have more head control. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @kjd291 I have that boba wrap but when I try to do things with it DS slips down. Am I wrapping wrong? 
    I'd assume you can tie it tighter. I only have to put a hand on babies head when I bend upside down ;) 

    @MahiMama I didn't use a carrier till baby had head control. But wrapping the little squish babies is awesome!!

    my days wrapped babe! -->


  • kjd291 said:
    @MahiMama do you babywear? My wrap has been the only way to get anything done.
    But I feel you - last night picture at my house pre-dinner time : baby with a half changed diaper on the kitchen floor, dinner burning on the stove, toddler throwing a tantrum because I didn't let her help wipe the baby's poop off, husband texting saying he's running late.... mama losing her shit!

    youve got this! :day at a time! This too shall pass! 
    OMG you just described my life, except for the dinner part. We are still a take out family this week, lol. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @kjd291 I have that boba wrap but when I try to do things with it DS slips down. Am I wrapping wrong? 
    It has to be VERY snug when you wrap it. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • We decided to make bath day the same as trash day so we wouldn't forget. #secondchild
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Haha @kjd291 so true! @longliveregina if only I could remember trash day! Lol

    i did give DD a bath tonight though (DS also got one this morning but due to explosive diarrhea... aka morning fail) we got one of those flower things you put in the sink and I love it so much more than the little tub .. so easy and no bending over the bath
  • @Gators&amp;BoSox I got one of those sink flowers this time around and I love it! So much easier than any of the methods we tried last time! It makes me wonder why I didn't break down and get one when we had DD. 

    I already got my Ergo carrier newborn insert out, but the little guy isn't quite big enough for it. Hopefully in the next week or so. I still have been occasionally using the carrier with my toddler. She is petite, and it is convenient for long walking trips (like when we took her to Boston last fall), or late night functions when she starts getting tired and wants to be held or snuggled. 
  • kjd291 said: 
    Oh second child.  

    1st kid: nightly baths. 2nd kid: weekly bath

    1st kid: well dressed with matching bows and socks.  2nd kid: same sleeper 2days in a row. Socks? Mismatched. Bow!? Who has time for a bow... all that matters is a clean diaper.

    1st: diaper changes with each night feed. 2nd--quick butt sniff and let's go back to bed. 

    1st: this newborn thing is hard. 2nd: this is sooo much easier than a toddler.
    Oh so much this. Our sweet toddler has become a threenager. Making this newborn thing look like child's play.
    Alex
    married to M since 6.13.09
    T - 3.3.14
    A - 2.24.17
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