At 10 weeks, I was sitting in church with my students (catholic teacher). We were participating in adoration. I was praying and asking God to help me handle the first trimester symptoms and be able to better take care of my family. Suddenly, in the middle of my prayer, I had to sneeze and I felt a "gush." I walked quickly to the bathroom and was very upset to see quite a lot of blood. I left for home immediately and the doctor said "take it easy." I just knew I was having a miscarriage, and immediately felt guilty for my prayer. I trust in God's will though and knew that whatever the outcome it would be for the best and that I could handle it. Well, I bled for the weekend and then it slowed and stopped, so I went back to work Monday. Tuesday, I had an U/S and we saw a hb of 169! Huge relief! But the probe wasn't working correctly so the tech couldn't do a full workup, so all we knew was that we had a hb. Fast forward two weeks and I would have my first appointment and 12 week ultrasound. Pelvic exam was good, cervix closed. I had some spotting the following day. U/S report came in and doctor looked at it with me in the room. My husband comes to all the appointments, but he was finishing up at work the day the report came in so I told him that would be fine (I had stopped bleeding, baby was alive so I wasn't too worried about it). My mom was there though (she works at the clinic) and my DD. Doctor says it looks like you have a vanishing twin! It should not complicate the pregnancy at all and everything will work out. And then this phone rang... The radiologist was on the line and I overheard the words "separation, spontaneous abortion, and chromosomal abnormalities." My heart sunk. My mom told me to sit down and relax. He got off the phone and immediately apologized, he wasn't expecting bad news either and would have handled this way differently. He said I have chorioamniotic separation and I should be prepared for spontaneous abortion, but then he also said if I make it to 15 weeks (today) that we would discuss genetic testing. I asked if there is any way it could reattach and he said no, we just wait and hope it doesn't separate any more. He also said where it had separated it will cause a calcification which may be problematic as baby grows. Doctors nephew (in residency) was in the room when I got the news and I could see his eyes puff up and turn red (his wife had a d&c about a week prior). My mom had a hard time digesting the bad news and asked if there is any way the radiologist could be wrong. Doctor said it is very clear and he respects and trusts the radiologists. However, he also said that God makes doctors look like fools all the time. I left the clinic bawling, called my husband bawling, and continued to bawl all weekend. When I finally took a breath to realize what was said, I became hopeful again that there's a chance. We scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later at a neighboring hospital (better equipment). Those two weeks were terrible. I woke up everyday feeling more pregnant but not knowing if today was my last day with this baby or not. I researched and found out that the longer I carried this baby with my condition the more complications I would have. "Wait and see" is such a hard approach. Fast forward two weeks and surprise more spotting. DH and I went to get another u/s, I was not doing anything else alone for the rest of this pregnancy. On the way I prayed for one of two things: obviously a miracle, and this sounds horrible but if not a miracle I wanted a dead baby. At least then I wouldn't be a walking basket case for months to come and I could have closure. I also knew that it is entirely in God's hands and I would accept whatever cross he gave me to carry. My mom asked me to stop by before the ultrasound. She gave me a St. Gerard (patron of expectant mothers) medal blessed by the priest. It was the sweetest and most thoughtful gift I've ever received! We went to the hospital and the was our baby, perfect as could be kicking around! However, we've seen that before so I anxiously awaited the radiologist report. The next day we get a phone call from the doctor, he says that the separation is gone, there is no calcification, and he'll treat this as a normal, healthy pregnancy! He said my placenta is close to the cervix which may be causing the spotting and it is to early to worry about that yet. I call my parents and grandparents immediately. Both of my grandmas had been praying rosaries for me since they heard the bad news. I can not describe to you how grateful I was for the prayers, I could feel them working inside of me. After my appointment yesterday, the doctor's nephew asked doc he said "you weren't expecting that were you?" and doc said it was a miracle. I have no doubt that it exactly what it was! I know I still have many months to go but right now I'm feeling invincible, if God is on my side what do I have to fear?
Re: Our miracle baby ***TW***
So happy for you and your little miracle baby @Toshandbaby...truly awesome news.
One part of your post that really struck a chord was this: "On the way I prayed for one of two things: obviously a miracle, and this sounds horrible but if not a miracle I wanted a dead baby." I can't tell you how much I identify with this exact statement. I've prayed for the same thing all week and it's torcherous and awful to have that conversation with yourself and with God...but I get it!! I'm glad God has granted you that miracle...xo
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
@Texafornian my heart is still hurting for you and I am praying every day for a miracle for you as well.
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
TW:
HSG/FSH/AMH/E2/SA all normal DX: unexplained IF
spontaneous BFP 01/01/2017- Alexander was born sleeping 04/13/2017 at 19w1d ic/chorio
September 2017 HSG #2 & Gonal-F/Femara/Ovidrel/IUI #1 = ep (Salpingectomy of left fallopian tube)
spontaneous BFP 01/02/2018 EDD Aug 30th It's a GIRL!
Cerclage placed on 03/02
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
There are plenty of people here that have lost pregnancies and children. Your story is fraught with triggers.
I wish you a healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
However, so very excited for you and the positive outcome of your very worrisome situation.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
There are people on here that practice different religions, are agnostic or atheist. It's extremely controversial to call somebody that doesn't share your religious beliefs a "non/believer." I find it extremely offensive.
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