Mental Health Check in 3/7/17

Jens_Hoes · March 2017

How's everyone doing this week?

WE tv feelings emotions freakout

Jens_Hoes · March 2017

This weekend was rough for me. I posted in weekend randoms, but I'm really struggling with my weight gain. My husband was supportive, but it doesn't make me feel any less like a whale. I have to find a shower dress in a few weeks, which I'm dreading. I'm trying to embrace being pregnant, but it's damn hard!
My mom also checked in with me this weekend (she had no clue about my breakdown) because I struggled with depression in high school, so it was nice to be able to talk to her too.
I wish people talked more about how hard it is to be pregnant, as opposed to how easy it appears on tv and in movies.

Kateriee · March 2017

I've done better this last week. I made a really hard decision to rehome a couple of my big tortoises. I cried a lot but now I can focus more on my home, my husband and my baby. Plus I can visit them whenever I want. I miss them terribly but I'm less stressed. Having this board to vent and to see I'm not alone in the crappy part of pregnancy has been very helpful.

L1C4gal · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes I'm so sorry you're going through this. I struggled with an eating disorder in my early 20s (I know that's not the same thing but maybe some underlying parallels) and I've watched close friends and family members (including H) struggle with depression, and all of these things are so hard. And I know that hearing things like "you look great!" and "you must be so happy!", while absolutely coming from a place of love and support, can be rough too--in H's case, it sometimes made him feel worse, since he realized he *should* be happy but wasn't and it made him feel even less "normal." I'm glad that you have such a good support system with your husband and mom--and you'll always get it from this BMB!--and also wanted to say that I understand how tough it can be even with that in place. But you're not alone! Pregnancy isn't easy and it certainly isn't as glamorous as we're all led to believe! I hope your week is going better than your weekend and that some fun in the sun will work wonders later this week

BabyMC517 · March 2017

Hang in there @Jens_Hoes! I know it is tough not to body shame ourselves, but try to stay positive like PP have said in the randoms thread. You're growing a tiny human!! You're beautiful!! And Amazing!!

@kateriee so sorry

re homing any animal is difficult.

I'm doing a little better this week. Although we lost the house, we did find an apartment very quickly and were already approved! We're just thinking positive about it that we can call maintenance to fix anything, we'll have a beautiful view, its gated, and it is like 5 minutes from my work.

I haven't heard back from the phone interview, and as much as that sucks, its okay. There are other job postings, but we talked and I think it is just bad timing (good timing for baby, bad to switch jobs). I've been so stressed with the living situation and other job that I don't think I can handle any more! For me, it would just be too much to start a new job and then leave and come back to almost have to start all over again. I feel good about it, for the most part haha Time to focus on the baby and the changes that will come with that!

MrsFox2008 · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes I'm having trouble with body issues with this pregnancy but I just try to always remind myself I'm growing a beautiful little life and that's all even matters. I'm so glad your husband is supporting you and there for you that's a huge help also for your mom to check on you is very sweet

@BabyMC517
So happy to hear the apartment worked out, still not as great as the house but it's great it's moving along quickly with the new apartment

Jens_Hoes · March 2017

Thanks everyone

@Kateriee I'm sorry about having to rehome your pets, that must have been tough.
@BabyMC517 glad to hear you are trying to see the positive side to everything!

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

Can I be a brat? With hopefully not too much judgement...
The past week has been good, but a little rough with the prospect of H being out of a job. We had my shower Saturday which was amazing, but I was a little bummed of the reminder of how few friends I seem to have.
Here's the bratty part... Both H and I were quite a bit bummed that his Mom did not get us any of our larger ticket items. She got us an outfit swaddle kit off the registry that is adorable and then is having a friend make us a custom quilt. I know the quilt can be costly, and I will love it, but it's not something we NEED. There's still a lot of items we need with this being the 1st baby. She's always gotten SIL bigger items like custom ulphostered rockers, swings, stroller, carseat, etc. for her babies. I really don't mean to sound ungrateful, but it just bummed us out.
With money suddenly being tight I will definitely not be able to get the rocker myself. The stroller, we will have to completely reevaluate and potentially skip? IDK and that's caused me to want to cry because for some dumb reason it's the 1 item I've been the most excited about and I was going to use the bassinet portion for our room. Figuring out an alternative has stressed me out and made me a bit crabby.

Okay, vent over.

L1C4gal · March 2017

@Kateriee I'm sorry to hear about your pets

but I'm glad you're focusing on the positive! And a similar note to @BabyMC517 -- the house and job situations aren't necessarily ideal, but you're doing a great job of focusing on the positive and that's awesome!

@nda_roxybabe I'm so sorry that you're dealing with your husband's job situation. I know how stressful that can be, and how much it can carry over into everything else--including shower stuff. You're definitely not being a brat! Your disappointment stems from a larger issue that's out of your control, and that's definitely tough. Will you be having another shower or expecting gifts to come from anyone else? If not, perhaps you can check out used gear or a b/s/t website? I know it's not ideal (especially with your first!) but hopefully there will be ways to get what you need, and maybe even some things you want. And side note, if you don't end up getting the rocker, we can be bummed in solidarity--we don't have room in our tiny one-bedroom apartment to fit one in, and I'm probably going to go without (back problems and all)...yay!

Feel free to vent here as you figure out how to navigate the upcoming uncertainty, especially at a time when you just want everything to be happy and peaceful

Edited: tagging error

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@L1C4gal Thank you! You gave me some warm fuzzies! No more showers, but we're looking at CL and B/S/T groups for a stroller and a rocker, so hopefully we will find something! That sucks about yours

Maybe you and I will have to come up with creative alternatives. Hopefulyl something better than H's joking suggest to sit on the floor and rock my body, lol.

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes I'm sorry

You're naturally pretty thin, right? I think that can have its own disadvantages as you get a lot of statements about how obviously "you don't look fat, you're skinny!" Well, the way you look (or even how H perceives you) is a hell of a lot different than how you feel. I know I'm pretty thin, but it doesn't make my thighs getting larger and cellulite any easier. Or the fact that trying on dresses is now sometimes depressing because despite a cute belly, I just look different and I don't love it all.
I guess I don't really have any advice, just more so that I commiserate and I get you. Pregnancy is amazing and awesome and I love it, but it has rough moments! Sometimes a lot of them.

L1C4gal · March 2017

I'll add mine. I posted last week about my job situation, and I'm struggling pretty mightily this week even though the decision has been made (I accepted the position!). I expected a sense of relief, but all I have is a fear in the pit in my stomach that I made the wrong choice, even though it was very clearly right for my career--plus much closer to family. H is being supportive but also expressing his concerns, some of which came out more strongly *after* I had signed the paperwork, which just felt like a huge blow. And I don't think his conversations with his family are helping, because they're not being very positive about it (which I don't get--we won't be in your backyard, but we'll be within easy weekend trip distance!). I'm worried that the next few years of our lives are just going to be a struggle. I feel like I just got dumped (weird comparison) because I can hardly get out of bed, I can't focus on work, I have to force myself to eat, and every little thing reminds me that we'll be making this big move and it hurts. Fortunately, I've gotten some calls and texts from good friends who have helped to lift me up (and get me out of bed, haha). And I really do think it was the right choice...I just know it will take lots of time to adjust. Just struggling over here and I appreciate the space to vent.

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@katieree331 That would be hard, it sounds like you made a good choice though.
@BabyMC517 The house thing is rough, it sounds like you have a good outlook on the apartment though! It'll be so nice for it to be on someone elses shoulders as things go wrong too. Less for you to worry about.

L1C4gal · March 2017

@nda_roxybabe Haha, your husband sounds a lot like mine! I'll let you know if I come up with any creative, non-floor alternatives

I'll be rooting for you that you find some great stuff through these other means!

hp_momma · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes So sorry your feeling down on yourself. From your HDBD posts you look like your doing great. Just try to remind yourself that your eating healthy, your staying active, and your growing a human! Your on the right track!

@nda_roxybabe Totally not bratty when things don't go as you planned! Maybe you can go through the items you did get at our shower and decide what is a true necessity and see if you can return any items? Did you get a lot of clothes, bottles, pacis? If your stroller is available at those stores then you could put your gift card towards it. Otherwise BST pages are a great idea. Did you get a pack n play at your shower? A bassinet isn't a necessity if you have other options for baby to sleep in! And technically even a stroller might not be necessary right away if your planning on baby wearing! You could put off buying the stroller until your DH has a secure job. We've totally been there before in tough money situations and it's stressful! Hang in there!

hp_momma · March 2017

This week has been a much needed mental break. I took my girls back home to Arizona to visit my parents. I think we all needed to get out of the cold rain and have some time in the sun! It truly is a mood lifter. My girls have been outside everyday riding bikes, playing at the park, eating lunch outside. We haven't been able to do that in months! It's been less stressful for me too as I've taken a sort of mental break from thinking about LOs possible health concerns because I have no doctors appointments until we get back. It's nice to just sit and relax and take my mind off of it.
On the other hand, it's been a tough week as DH left for his training and won't be back til mid-April. DD1 is having a rough time with it and has lots of "I miss daddy" breakdowns but I think being busy visiting my parents has helped distract her a little bit. DH has very little opportunity to call or text us and there is no internet so FaceTime is off the table which I think makes it rough. 5 and 3yrs old is a hard age to understand how much longer he will be gone or understand why he can't call or they can't call him. This is by far the hardest part of military life!

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@hp_momma I have an item going back to Amazon, but everything else is either needed or from a specific small shop. No pack n play as I really haven't wanted one. I've been looking at bassinets or something else for baby to sleep in, but the problem is they cost as much as the bassinet upgrade to the stroller costs so I'm really torn. The stroller is sold with a bassinet no matter what. Either I pick a new stroller (:() or I wait. IDK. I have a very hard time accepting change once I've planned, researched, and put my mind to something. I just need to let go

hp_momma · March 2017

I totally get the not accepting change, I'm the same way. Once I set my mind to something that's what I want! Fingers crossed your DH has an awesome job opportunity soon and this will all be an unnecessary stress. We still have 2 months to go! If it was me, I'd try (I know easier said than done!) to put the bassinet/stroller off until end of April and hope that something comes up before then! Either your DHs new job or you'll come across an awesome used stroller deal!

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@hp_momma Good point! I've got a little bit of time, hopefully things will work out and it'll become a non issue. If not, there is always something, it just might mean my little stubborn butt giving a bit.

bubsalicious · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes I agree, I keep trying to embrace this being pregnant thing, but in the end, I just feel fat and unattractive. I'm happy you have a good support system, I know when I told H about my issues he's been completely supportive. He doesn't even say the stupid stuff you would expect the average person to say!
@Kateriee That must have been hard! I would struggle if I made the decision to rehome my dog.
@BabyMC517 I hope you hear back from the interview soon regardless of their decision. It drives me bonkers when they take forever to get back to me!
@nda_roxybabe I think it's completely understandable to be upset about MIL's gift and the stroller. Don't give up hopes on that stroller though! Maybe it's something special you could get when baby is a little older? Like have a special fund for it, that's what I do when I really have my heart set on something.
@L1C4gal How annoying that your H is now bringing up concerns he didn't feel the need to voice before you accepted the job! Family definitely doesn't help, but hopefully they can get over it with time. I know my H's family struggled when we moved away from them, but they've gotten mostly over it.

I've been doing a little better this week, I think working again has helped. Although I'm starting to feel like I got dumped by one of my friends, which is weird because she is a mother. She moved up here in August and made new friends where she works. She goes out almost every weekend, and expects me to watch her kid every weekend instead of inviting me with. And when I say she expects me to, I mean she has never once asked if I would watch her, just "Oh I work this time to this time on this day". Finally, I just got off the phone with my mother, we'll see how the next month goes (vaguebumping haha).

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@absbubbs Adult friends are so hard! Sounds like she is taking advantage of you and thats so unfair

kns1988 · March 2017

I've had some big stressors happen this week (house contract fell through, car broke down and might be at the end of it's life), but I'm actually handling things really well. I made a decision a week ago to manage my anxiety better, and I think my stubbornness is actually helping me succeed. I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, so having a week of improvement in the midst of stressful situations while 7 months pregnant is pretty great. I'm also so thankful for my marriage because it's rock solid no matter how much life throws at us. He's also randomly playing "if it makes you happy" by Sheryl Crow right now and singing along.

@nda_roxybabe, you don't sound like a brat. It's hard when family sets up those expectations and then doesn't follow through in the same way for each kid.

@L1C4gal, I think it's normal to feel a lot of conflicting emotions about a new job and a move. That's a lot of life changes at once on top of being pregnant. How far are you moving?

@hp_momma, I'm glad you had a pick me up! It's amazing what some sunshine can do. You're awesome for taking care of a 5 and a 3 year old on your own for a month.

@absbubbs, that sucks that your friend is blowing you off. I cut ties with a friend in college because she kept asking to borrow my car to go out with her friends without inviting me. It was a shitty feeling, but I always kind of regretted cutting her off because I wonder whether we could have worked it out. I hope that with your friend it's just a misunderstanding.

chailife34 · March 2017

I'm just over being at work. I don't feel good and I hate having to put on a positive face when I feel bad physically. Only 5 more weeks until I go on leave and senioritis has definitely settled in. Just let me go already. I don't want to talk to stupid people anymore. I'm seriously cranky most of the time now. Waaaah!

skeetied · March 2017

@nda_roxybabe I'm stroller obsessed so I totally get it. Are you looking at an UPPAbaby Vista? Just guessing because it's one of the few I know that comes with a bassinet. If so, you can frequently find the previous model on CL and even find some new ones online.

OmegaRose3 · March 2017

I think my overall outlook on life is better as of right now, I'm trying to think of positives and reach out to my family, not necessarily about my mental health, but just to have someone to talk to in general. Don't get me wrong, I love being a SAHM, but it can be really damn lonely being home all day with someone who doesn't talk much and only comprehends some of what you say.
I've dealt with depression for as long as I can remember, but with all of these pregnancy hormones, I just have some bad days. Not to mention having low iron affect my overall state of mind.
Lately I've felt a lot of frustration about my ILs shitting on everything DH and I have/do. Our car is shitty, the neighborhood we live in is bad, blah blah blah...I basically went off the other night saying that unless you're planning on buying us a new car and paying for the insurance then shut up and we live in the city so honestly everywhere is a "bad neighborhood" and I'm sick of hearing it.
Anyways, that was a lot of rambling but it feels good to get it out.

Jens_Hoes · March 2017

@nda_roxybabe I don't think you're being a brat!! My MIL is very generous with me as with her three children, but she seems to favor one of my SIL more than anyone else. I would say (as others have said) to try to wait as long as you can to figure out what to buy for the baby.
As for me, I am small (5'2) but I've always struggled with my weight. I lost about 30 pounds from freshman to sophomore year in college and then another 15 before my wedding, but then gained it all back afterwards. My husband and SIL have some miraculous metabolism that they look like models with no real effort. I think part of my problem is that I'm around them all the time and it is just not a possible standard for me to live up to.

@L1C4gal Congrats on taking the position!!! I know you must feel a whole host of emotions, both from within yourself and from your husband. But know that at least no move (physical move or job move) is forever. You can always reevaluate how happy you both are in a few years. I'm sure you'd always wonder "what if" if you did not take the job.

@hp_momma I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation to Arizona! There is something to be said for the sun on your face and being able to spend time outside! I'm so sorry about your husband not being around, I can only imagine what that may be like for you and your children.

@absbubbs I'm sorry about your "friend". Did you offer one time and then she started to take advantage of you? Can you put your foot down with her?

@kns1988 I'm sorry about your car and everything!! Good to hear that you are feeling like you can manage it this week! Sometimes I feel like its better to try to take things day by day as opposed to thinking about the bigger picture. Hopefully things start to look up for you.

@chailife34 I'm jealous of your five weeks left!! Is there any way to share duties with people or put off things so that you don't have to feel overwhelmed at work?

@OmegaRose3 What does your husband say about your IL shitting on everything? Does he try to stand up for your decisions you make as a family or does it fall on you?

fbmandy55 · March 2017

@nda_roxybabe
Not bratty at all. I have a similar rant. We did actually get a lot of stuff off our registry and a fair amount of cash too, which we were able to use to buy our swing and a few other items off our registry. We are very thankful for that. My SIL was asking us about items on our registry and I was excited when I opened up the Cosco pack N play. Except she didn't buy the cute purple and blue floral one I picked out for our baby girl, she bought a random blue and green one that looks very much like it would be for a boy. I was like, "HUH?" So there's my "bratty" gift rant.

I get really annoyed with people who pick out their own version of what someone listed on a registry. I personally never do that when buying gifts for weddings or baby showers.

fbmandy55 · March 2017

My mental health is not in a very good place this week. Mostly, just feeling very overwhelmed. Still struggling a lot with DH not being helpful at all and I have built up a LOT of resentment toward him over this laziness. Two nights ago I came home from work and we had to immediately leave to get groceries, run to my dad's barn to get a costume for DS to have for school the next day for a report that wasn't done AND the costume needed washed. I left work at 5pm and didn't get to sit until I went to bed at 10pm. DH sat on the couch and played on facebook as soon as we got home from the store while I cut up fruit, made our breakfast for the week and worked on laundry. He then had the balls to come in the kitchen and make a bowl of ice cream that I had bought for myself and never got to eat because I was too busy working. I was like, " are you effing kidding me"? He then went to bed at 9pm while I was working on making him food for the week.

I'm having a very hard time sleeping and with SI joint pain that is making it extremely painful to walk or stand for long periods. Seeing DH sit on his butt while I'm in pain just really makes me want to scream. If I wasn't pregnant and it wasn't so soon before DD's arrival, I don't know that we'd be in the same house.

Jens_Hoes · March 2017

@fbmandy55 Have you tried talking to him? Does he realize how insensitive and rude he is being? My husband sometimes doesn't realize it when he is doing it- and holding that resentment towards him only really affects me.
Can you have someone else help out this weekend with daily chores or with dd?

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@skeetied Close! The Nuna Mixx Jett. It's so new I haven't been able to find it used, but we've discussed switching to a use Bugaboo or the like.

starphish18 · March 2017

Jens_Hoes said:

@fbmandy55 Have you tried talking to him? Does he realize how insensitive and rude he is being? My husband sometimes doesn't realize it when he is doing it- and holding that resentment towards him only really affects me.
Can you have someone else help out this weekend with daily chores or with dd?

@fbmandy55 I'm sorry your H is being so obliviously insensitive. I second what Jen said above. Have you pointed it out or asked him to do certain things to help? Personally, my H can be really thick about these things. I would just feel like he should realize I'm angry and seething at him, but he never did. We talked it through once, and he was like "why don't you just ask?". I don't like to feel like I'm nagging...I still wish he'd come to these conclusions himself. However, it's just how he works. Now, if I ask him to do something, he'll just do it, no complaints. It's still a work in progress for me with balancing when I want to ask him to do things (cause I still feel like I'm nagging or treating him like a child), but it's a non-issue when I do.

SKZW · March 2017

@fbmandy55: That sounds really rough to deal with. All that running around, and chores at the end of the day. Obviously you're upset and you can feel however you want to feel! There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling and expressing things. Have you chatted with your hubbs about what happened yesterday? I sometimes really dislike opening up and being honest but I've learned with my hubbs that unless I'm straightforward and direct and upfront about what's bothering me, he won't understand the frustrated hints I drop. He's not a mind-reader, and that's on me, not him. Maybe yours seriously figured you're doing the meal prep, so it's handled, and there's no reason to offer help. I could see that happening in my house too. And the ice cream thing would bother me to no end! Tell him it annoyed you! Ask him to offer you some the next time he dishes a bowl for himself.

Try not to let the resentment get any deeper and bigger within you. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Wouldn't it be nice to release it and start fresh? So, what steps can you take to help yourself feel better? Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could take a half hour for yourself and go do, while leaving the evening chores and a honey-do list behind? ... I'm getting off track here, sorry. Just giving some food for thought. Hang in there, and I hope it passes soon.

auro_c · March 2017

Hi girls,
first time posting on a mental health check-in. I read you all have to struggle with different things and I'm so sorry for all of you.
I was pretty ok up to now and then we had to visit hospitals. None of them seems appropriate. I live in Mexico, where the C-section rate is about 80%, plus the babies aren't always allowed to share the mother's room and I'm panicking at the idea that I won't see my baby for the first 8-10h of his life. My ob/gyn isn't very supportive either (but he could be worse): he works with strict rules like episiotomy and epidural in ALL cases and only in strict hospitals with zillions of restrictive protocols. At least, he agrees that I don't seem to need a C-section (but most of the ob\gyn here find a stupid excuse last minute and you end up with a C-section).

So, I talked to a doula and I am now considering changing ob/gym at 31 weeks and it's scaring.

On top of that, yesterday, during our monthly visit, the doctor excited baby to make him move just to have a better view of his face on the U/S...which turned out to be terrible. I was so sad that I even found my baby ugly. And now I'm concerned I might not unconditionally love him after all.

I probably just need some ice cream and a good night sleep. Sorry to share this with you

.

fbmandy55 · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes
@starphish18
@SKZW

We have talked about it many times. He is not capable of accepting any responsibility. Any time we've attempted a calm conversation about it, he immediately goes on the defensive and has himself convinced that he does all these things that he doesn't do. Sadly, it's nothing new but I was able to handle it prior to being pregnant. Now, I physically can't and I don't see it changing. Occasionally we'd set chores but he would never stick with it for more than a day or two before letting everything fall on me. I think it just comes down to us having different work ethics. Mine= Do the best job possible. His = do the minimum required to say that it's done. He will mow the grass, miss a bunch of spots and skip raking and weeding and say he did the yard work.

I don't think it's something that can be solved but I'm not going to make any drastic decisions 7 weeks before I'm due and with all kinds of hormonal changes going on!

ETA: 9 year old DS helps me a lot, which I don't feel bad about. I want him to have a good work ethic and I think he should have chores. He dusts, takes out trash and starts the washer for me on occasion. That's how I learned worth ethic from my family, it just makes me mad that DH is such a terrible example.

OmegaRose3 · March 2017

@Jens_Hoes Whether or not he's willing to admit it, it really gets to him because it makes him feel like he's failing to do better for us. When we bought our current car they pushed him into making a rushed decision and then FIL turned around and said how shitty it is and how he wasted his money on another clunker. It's hard because he rarely feels like he's in a position to tell them to F off and when we do finally get fed up with hearing it, then we're just being dumb or hot headed in their eyes.

nda_roxybabe · March 2017

@fbmandy55 I'm sorry, that sounds really rough! Could you do a little tough love? I know you mentioned you stayed up making his lunches, what if you stopped doing that sort of thing and let him know "Hey, I need to rest. You will need to make your own for now" and he either does it or he doesn't, but then he is the one to suffer the result of his choice.
You've got to take care of you, mentally and physically.

fbmandy55 · March 2017

@nda_roxybabe
I wish I could. Food prep was kind of a thing for the whole family. My make-ahead breakfast and chopping fruit was for everyone, so I kind of had to do it for myself and DS too. I think tough love is a good idea, but I can't think of anything that won't affect the rest of the family.

BeachMommy2B · March 2017

Hi all! I hope you don't mine me joining so late in the game. I did read everyone post and will try to respond soon. I'm sorry for anyone struggling with anything this pregnancy! its not fun!

I had PPD after DD that lasted around 18 months because I kept feeling like I wasn't able to talk to anyone and I just had to deal with it on my own. I was on and off a few medications but the stigma of having to take a medication made me feel worse then not taking it at times. I also struggled with serious mom guilt when breastfeeding didn't work out last time.

I had been doing ok this pregnancy despite some illnesses and just overall not feeling good, but all of the sudden the past 2 weeks I have felt so bummed and sad. I'm really worried about PPD again after this baby too. I see my OB tomorrow and I'm going to mention it to him. I think right now my weight and body image are really getting to me. I gained so much with DD (60+pounds) I was trying so hard not to gain as much this time (I had only lost about 45 of the previous pregnancy pounds.) but the number i wanted to stay under (40 lb total) I officially hit within the past week and I still have about 6 weeks left. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to keep up with my workout routine due to not being able to keep my heart rate low enough for OB to feel comfortable with it, then having SPD has made things like going walking almost unbearable.

Sorry I think my post turned into a vent/rant. I plan to keep sticking around, because I feel like it will be really helpful to have other ladies like yourselves to talk to through these issues!

kns1988 · March 2017

@BeachMommy2B, Sorry you're having a tough time! At least you're aware of what PPD feels like and you can be on the lookout for it this time. I'm worried about getting it, too, but I do have a therapist that I can talk to if it happens. Hopefully I'd find some moms either in real life or online that have dealt with it too (this seems like a good place to start). Vent away!

SparkySunDevil · March 2017

My girls are both prone to crazy tantrums lately. It's making my anxiety worse, because I wonder how we're going to add a crying newborn to the mix. Right now they're both sobbing because we're making them eat dinner at the table. I'm so done right now.

kat81 · March 2017

L1C4gal said:

I'll add mine. I posted last week about my job situation, and I'm struggling pretty mightily this week even though the decision has been made (I accepted the position!). I expected a sense of relief, but all I have is a fear in the pit in my stomach that I made the wrong choice, even though it was very clearly right for my career--plus much closer to family. H is being supportive but also expressing his concerns, some of which came out more strongly *after* I had signed the paperwork, which just felt like a huge blow. And I don't think his conversations with his family are helping, because they're not being very positive about it (which I don't get--we won't be in your backyard, but we'll be within easy weekend trip distance!). I'm worried that the next few years of our lives are just going to be a struggle. I feel like I just got dumped (weird comparison) because I can hardly get out of bed, I can't focus on work, I have to force myself to eat, and every little thing reminds me that we'll be making this big move and it hurts. Fortunately, I've gotten some calls and texts from good friends who have helped to lift me up (and get me out of bed, haha). And I really do think it was the right choice...I just know it will take lots of time to adjust. Just struggling over here and I appreciate the space to vent.

OMG congratulations on accepting the job! I DO know the feeling, though, of wondering if it was the right decision, and feeling guilty for dragging DH into it. I have been there before. If it makes you feel any better, you'd probably also feel like crap if you had turned it down. So...there's that. You'll be a great candidate to make another move in a few years, OR DH will end up loving it there afterall and you'll stay forever. I think it was definitely the right choice.

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Mental Health Check in 3/7/17

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