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Slightly frustrated with DH (Maybe TMI)

princess_shellyprincess_shelly
in TTC after 35

So DH has a problem with his hang time when we BD, everything is a quickie. ?I tell him, I really don't have a problem with this as long as I get there and am satisfied. OK, so last night we BD, and I notice I don't feel the ejaculate (for me it feels all squishy as we are finishing up), he told me he let some go, but he held back, but when he holds back, he gets too tired to finish, and that's it. ?He is bothered that he can't last longer.

I told him that I thought we'd agreed not to hold back, in my view I think it is better (not just for achieving pregnancy) for him to just let go, that he would sleep better at night even.

But I feel like if he is holding back how are we ever gonna get pg with #2.

Any ideas how I can help him with the hang time thing? ?I have read a couple of things... one man had this same problem, so him & his wife BD every day for 1 month, I mean every day, the result, he achieved his longer hang time, and got a pg wife. ?The 2nd is to change positions frequently, but I think if we do this something may be lost.

Thanks for reading.

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Re: Slightly frustrated with DH (Maybe TMI)

  • Kittycat196Kittycat196

    Is it premature ejaculation or he loses it before he ejacs?

    Either way there are a ton of things on the internet if you google it or he needs to see a doctor.

    Sorry I am not of more help.

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  • princess_shellyprincess_shelly

    It is not premature ejaculation or losing the erection, he just has poor stamina, and he has been trying to hold back his orgasm to lengthen our BD time, but after I have an orgasm he is tired and we don't end up finishing him.

    I keep telling him not to worry about the time, If I orgasm with him it is fine. ?Maybe, just maybe he is using it as his way of having birth control since we are not really trying, but not preventing.

    He tells me he wants to try viagra, but he doesn't have a problem with getting it up or keeping it up, just being able to increase the time to orgasm.

    I think he may have to speak to his Dr. about it.?

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  • rsrn02rsrn02

    maybe you should have a good long talk with DH; about this. share your concerns. maybe he is scared and this is his unconsious (sp?) way of preventing a second child? i dont know.

    with my dh when i first started "trying" he started having performance issues.  we had a long talk and it turns out he was really scared about it. but even with that we still had problems so we did do viagra. it helps with him "finishing"

    but then we went on vacation this month and we are TTA this month also. no performance issues at all. so i guess with my dh it's in his head.  does that help?

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  • lmizgala@hotmail.comlmizgala@hotmail.com

    Hi there,

    We had a similar problem this past month for the first time ever.  My DH has no stamina and was so upset about it. (He would kill me if he knew I was doing this).  He chalked it up to all the Holiday excesses and associated sleep deprivation.  He did admit afterward however that he felt some "baby making" pressure which affected his performance. 

    We had a long talk and decided to try and look at TTC a litle bit differently.  We decided that we would try NOT to focus on all the "things" that need to be accomplished but rather see our TTC journey as a entire process and an experience that has every opportunity to bring us closer together.  I think that when we focus on the short-term stuff we really do ourselves a diservice by not opening up to the benefit we could get from the entire experience.

    I know this may all sound wishy-washy but it seemed to help us.

    Good luck.

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