UO 2/23 - Page 2 — The Bump
August 2017 Moms

UO 2/23

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Re: UO 2/23

  • I can't wrap my head around forming opinions about parenting related things before you have kids and experience it first hand. We haven't gotten into the real homework stage yet, just little art projects here and there, but I live for those moments and I can't wait for the bonding time of sitting down to real homework and learning what he's learning.  And kids act up in public, but I can't turn into mega bitch mom in the middle of the grocery store and give him the look with that voice that snaps everything back into focus. People would be judging me for that too. He cries in the grocery store and all I can do is tell him sorry, Charlie, your crying isn't getting you that special Moana box of cereal.  I'm sure people judge and that's their problem, I know my kid and I know his tricks. The second I turn down the next aisle he will be over it.  And most of my videos take place on the toilet now because it's the only time I can get him to sit still and focus and we can have a real conversation or he will recite a song or story. It's always waist up and the only giveaway that he's on the toilet is the seat cover flipped up behind him.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

  • Oh my god the 'aren't I awesome' humble brag facebook bs. I have a friend who constantly posts about how taking his grandma to dinner is just the type of guy he is, or how nice his doormen are to him since he makes sure to get them gifts not just at the holidays. Like 1-some of us don't have grandparents- cherish your time, don't act like taking them to dinner makes you a hero-it makes you a grandson. 2-Talking about having a doorman is just beyond...yeah they are nice to you, they are paid to be. But I am so glad you need to tell me how nice you are on a daily basis!! Just ugh. It's not being a good person if you need to post everything on FB for validation. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Now this might make some people mad, but I'm going to say it anyway. I don't like ranch dressing. It's disgusting 
    Ranch is hit or miss for me. I like most restaurant and homemade ranch. Anything bottled on the shelf at the store makes me want to puke! 
  • Oh my god the 'aren't I awesome' humble brag facebook bs. I have a friend who constantly posts about how taking his grandma to dinner is just the type of guy he is, or how nice his doormen are to him since he makes sure to get them gifts not just at the holidays. Like 1-some of us don't have grandparents- cherish your time, don't act like taking them to dinner makes you a hero-it makes you a grandson. 2-Talking about having a doorman is just beyond...yeah they are nice to you, they are paid to be. But I am so glad you need to tell me how nice you are on a daily basis!! Just ugh. It's not being a good person if you need to post everything on FB for validation. 
    Ugh, I hate those! A former friend of mine is like that but I didn't actually un-friend her on Facebook just so I could every once in awhile look and get some entertainment. 
    She moved out of state for a few years. Now she's moved back because she got this "amazing career opportunity." Long winded post about all the various opportunities she's had and how each one takes her to a new place in life, blah blah blah. 
    If only she knew that her "best" friend back here confided in me, in a maudlin tone, "Yeah... now she's only 25 minutes away from me... That will take some getting used to...."
    This same bitch once wrote on that same "best" friend's timeline something like how she's sorry she hasn't called yet for her birthday but she will because that's what close friends do, call, not just post on timelines. Dude. Eyeroll.
    __________________________________


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • People post way too much stuff on social media. I like having a personal life that not every knows.

    And for the love, I don't need to know that your kid went pee pee on the potty, along with pictures.
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Wife - 11.1.14 | Momma - 5.5.16 | 8.14.17
    SpotConlonVamason89PinkPrincessPiperdinofreak
  • Another post that makes me crazy, posting pics of your sick kid.  I don't need a picture of them sitting on the exam table or on your couch surrounded by dirty tissues. It's bad with babies, but your 12 year old really doesn't appreciate your Instagram post of them testing positive for the flu or strep or whatever else. 
    SpotConlonclrgrdfrkmiddy411
  • UO kids sleeping in your bed. I'm not talking baby co-sleeping. I'm talking,  my 5 year old wakes up every night and comes into our bed. We let it happen bc getting her back to sleep in her own bed takes forever.
    No, just no. You have your bed, we have ours. A fun movie night or morning ok, but sleeping habits are important!! Mean mom but i wont play that game!! Also kids who can't sleep in anything but dead silence. My kid will fall asleep with laundry running, dishwasher, us making dinner. We're in an apartment, noise travels. 
    I'll comment on this one.

    I 100% felt the same way until life happened. I'm a big believer in the first 3 months anything goes and I usually sleep in the babies room...co sleep...do whatever I can. Then I sleep train and baby is in their crib. Especially because I usually go back to work around 4-5 months. 

    6 months ago my 2 year old went through a TERRIBLE sleep regression and I wasn't sleeping at ALL fighting him to stay in his room. 

    TW: during this same time I had a MC. I don't blame it on the sleep but I'm sure it didn't help. TW OVER. 

    Anyway after that I kind of gave up and let him sleep with me. I needed sleep and I was emotionally a mess. 6 months later and I just ordered a "ok to wake" clock and he's getting booted back to his room. Mama needs to sleep again (plus I have a 4 year old too that was trying to get in on the snuggles). 

    ANYWAY....long post and I basically totally agree with you but also think that sometimes Moms and Dads need to do whatever to survive. 

    My UO..I hate when people brag about "giving birth naturally". (eye roll). I've done totally drug free with almost zero assistance and I've had an epidural. Both my babies came into this world and NO ONE will ever ask me 10 years from  now how I delivered. People barley ask now. I LOVE hearing birth stories...I just hate the "I'm better than you" attitude some get with a drug free birth. 


    Vamason89dinofreak
  • @SouthernMama15 @dmbfan46835
    I HATE characters too. Love just plain...the worst is when the kids get older and want to pick out characters...yuck. 

    dmbfan46835
  • @pinkyswife I'm the first of my friends to get pregnant - just realized that might sound odd but I am 27 and DH is 30, we just have friends who took their time getting married, I guess? Anyways, haven't dealt with that but I can only imagine. A family friend had been a bit superior (to others, not to me) about how she was doing it naturally and apparently hated it.

    I just found out from my mom, 20+ years later, that after the c-section with my brother because of complications, she had me naturally because that was what doctors were pushing at the time and hated it, asked for an epidural with my sister and they were like "you've done this naturally before, you'll be fine." She very emphatically said to take the drugs, which was already what I was thinking anyways. I so appreciate her perspective and honesty. I consider myself warned about how people can be thanks to your UO.
    pinkyswife
  • @smallbutmighty77
    I had horrible night terrors as a kid to the point where I can still vividly remember the fear.  I think if my parents hadn't let me in their bed I would have had panic attacks in my room.  My parents even took precautions, like not allowing me to have sugar to close to bed because that was a big trigger, because they were very aware of how bad it was.  I eventually outgrew them and can fall asleep pretty much anywhere.  That being said I will always welcome my kids if they need the comfort.  When it became frequent my parents made a bed next to theirs so I wouldn't bother them and I figure I can do the same.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    middy411
  • lyndshurtlyndshurt
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    member
    edited February 2017
    Gosh I always get in on these so late and have to catch up. Lots of good ones today!

    Homework: I teach 1st in a school with a high poverty rate. Some of my students' parents aren't even able to help with their homework because they work odd hours and the kid stays with someone else, they live with a lot of people and there is no quiet place to work, or the parent may not have the skills necessary. Sounds crazy, doesn't it?? And just to add, things are taught differently now-a-days. Many parents come to me and are like "What is happening on this math HW?!" And honestly, I've had to STUDY lessons before teaching them. Things are definitely different now. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even give homework in 1st grade.  

    Facebook: UGH I'm with @PinkPrincessPiper, I can't stand Facebook. All the AW posts, the vague ones, the over-sharing, the bashing, etc. I regularly deactivate because I need a break. 

    Birth plans: I think it was @DoulaTog13 (can't remember) that said birth plans are so helpful in educating yourself beforehand. Unfortunately there are doctors who do prioritize their convenience. I agree it's wise to be prepared with what you are okay with and what you aren't. Of course, a plan is just a plan so be ready for it to change because it is out of your control! Informed consent is important.

    @Nxy  I agree that some mommy shaming is just being too sensitive. I do things differently than most people and I don't judge others for how they do things with their kids. I'm by no means perfect but I own my choices and honestly don't give a F about others' opinions of my parenting. Especially non-parents *eye-roll*

    ETA grammar
    PinkPrincessPiper
  • UO it bothers me when parents try to shove their parenting views on me already. The number of people that have already given me their anti vaccination spiel. I'm not judging anyone here for that, but I don't want other moms trying to give me their opinion on it already! 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    PinkPrincessPiper
  • NxyNxy
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    edited February 2017
    That weight gain thread in July is just bonkers. (The first half, I should say)
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Kathryn0903
  • @Nxy agreed. They started in on me and I was like ok, not reading this and getting fired up over something said by some Internet strangers so I quit checking it a couple days ago. It's a hot topic! Def made me see that I can't just say what I'm thinking on here because it may be taken in a way I didn't intend because people don't know me, my personality, my history or personal issues with food and my weight, past and current counseling, etc.
  • UO it bothers me when parents try to shove their parenting views on me already. The number of people that have already given me their anti vaccination spiel. I'm not judging anyone here for that, but I don't want other moms trying to give me their opinion on it already! 
    I'm not going to hide it, I 100% judge people who choose not to vaccinate their kids.
    Me too.  DH and I were just talking about this at lunch. We live in CA and a lot of people do "delayed" vaccination.  The laws just changed and now to go to preschool you have to be on the standard schedule.  So we know people who's kids are getting vaccines every three months so they will be caught up in the fall for school.  Which I think is way harder on the kid then if they had just done the standard schedule to begin with.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
    dinofreak
  • @Nxy agreed. They started in on me and I was like ok, not reading this and getting fired up over something said by some Internet strangers so I quit checking it a couple days ago. It's a hot topic! Def made me see that I can't just say what I'm thinking on here because it may be taken in a way I didn't intend because people don't know me, my personality, my history or personal issues with food and my weight, past and current counseling, etc.
    Just checked this out. Totally not worth getting involved in a cross-BMB war (though you know I got your back on here & IRL! ;)  ). You're doing amazing & you look great mama. Keep that chin up! 
  • **Trigger warning**

    @Nxy I also have zero MMR antibodies. I only found out after I miscarried my first baby. So, I, like you am more susceptible to contracting it if someone didn't vaccinate.
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Wife - 11.1.14 | Momma - 5.5.16 | 8.14.17
  • Nxy said:
    That weight gain thread in July is just bonkers. (The first half, I should say)
    I'm convinced they start drama for fun. 
    PinkPrincessPiperNxySpotConlon
  • @shyviolet @pinkyswife I totally think there are times when the sleeping in bed with parents happens, and needs to. But I also think there are times when it turns into something that is not a benefit-my niece is 6+ and has been going into her parents room every night between 1-3am for the past year. She doesn't have terrors or anything-just at this point, knows she can. For the 1st month they would bring her back to bed but took forever for her to fall asleep, so they just stopped. They tried putting blankets etc on the floor next to them so at least she wasn't in bed but then she thought it was like indoor camping and extra fun. I love my niece and my sister/BIL are awesome parents-but at what age, if they haven't grown out of it do you try something else? Waking up every night can't be good for anyone. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    pinkyswife
  • @SouthernMama15 @dmbfan46835
    I HATE characters too. Love just plain...the worst is when the kids get older and want to pick out characters...yuck. 

    I felt like this before DD was born and when she was a baby and didn't care until she was given a pair of Hello Kitty sequence ballet type shoes that she just loved so much. I couldn't not let her wear them and she wore them every day. Then she picked out a pair of Hello Kitty crocs with a gift card that was given to her for her birthday. Now she has tons of character things, especially pajamas and it doesn't bother me as much.

    That being said, I hate clothes with sayings on them. Those she doesn't have too many of and any she does have are hand me downs and they're just play clothes.
    JWatt5
  • You really can't blame a girl for loving Hello Kitty sequence ballet slippers @happylifex3. I'm actually with her on that one... :) 

    happylifex3
  • I really don't care about my nursery. At all. I just want a safe, clean space. I don't care if the furniture matches as long as it doesn't break the bank, I don't care about a theme or putting inspiring quotes on reclaimed Barnwood planks on the walls. Trying to put things on my registry is like torture for me, I am also not a big fan of shopping. Give me hand me downs so I don't have to choose a pattern!
    NYTino24summersolstice1123strawberrytreeDeansGirl14
  • @JCPSand2B I don't know if you are look for a Ranch at home that tastes good.  But I started buying mine from the refrigerated section in produce, it is yogurt and buttermilk based and tastes amazing.  Plus it has 1/3 of the calories.  It was a pretty life changing find for me.  But I love even the off the shelf Ranch.

    @smallbutmighty77  I agree that all the time is too much.  It is a topic I try and be vocal about because some people might not realize how bad night terrors can be for kids because they didn't have them.  Looking back as an adult I feel like there was nothing for me to do but outgrow them and forcing a kid to stay in their room doesn't solve the problem it is just traumatizing.  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @SouthernMama15 I'm in love with primary.com! Thanks for the tip. 
    SouthernMama15
  • @LivLew I think homework is more intense now. DH has much younger cousins and in kindergarten they had homework that required a computer nearly every night. I definitely think some people probably do their kids homework just to get it done. Definitely doing their kids a great disservice 
    Is there any chance that you can just tell the school that your family doesn't do homework? I'm probably going to do this. For one, homework has no evidence of improving outcomes for elementary age kids. For another, I barely have time right now (with no kids) to make dinner and get ready for the next day, much less add in some pointless homework. My kid's going to end up stupid, right?
  • @shyviolet I appreciate you sharing about your night terrors. These are the very decisions I stress over constantly as a mom. My daughter is needing a lot of extra comfort right now as she is cutting molars and I actually nursed her to sleep the last 2 nights. I don't want to do that bc #1 it's not good for her teeth since I don't brush after that and #2 she has been sleeping SO well for so long now and I'm trying to wean soon. Tonight, I placed my hand on her chest and stood over her at her crib and she surprised me by calming down and falling asleep within minutes! I don't want to neglect my children when they really need a little extra lovin but I also want them to learn good habits and not have my husband and myself be walked all over. Sheesh this parenting thing is hard! <3
    pbandjyummies
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