I am all for the legalization of marijuana, but this is just taking it too far! And, is that cut up money in there in too?! Why are people wasting perfectly good money & weed by ripping it up & putting inside these crazy ugly claw looking things?!?!
My UO is that I don't get all the hype over super detailed birth plans, unless there's a medical need for it. I'm not Mariah Carey and I don't need to micro-manage a labor and delivery that I won't have much control over anyway
Now this might make some people mad, but I'm going to say it anyway. I don't like ranch dressing. It's disgusting
Ranch for life! You cray-cray!
Ugh, I don't like any dressing, but ranch is the worst. It's gotten progressively worse over the past 7 years because my in laws drown their food in it.
My UO I never dug the leggings-as-pants thing. But today, in a nod to maternity comfort, I donned maternity leggings that my friend gave me and a loose maternity tunic, with tall riding boots. (Not sure how well this tunic sucker is going to grow with my belly, but, ok.)
I'm comfortable... but it feels weird, in a way. I haven't sported leggings and a tunic since the stirrup-pants and lacy-legging craze of the early 90s (hello, neon!). I'm also a bit self-conscious that the tunic- even though it's plenty long- is not long enough to be work appropriate.
Let's get this UO on fire! I don't get all my friends that have to help their kids do their homework. My parents never helped with homework. School was my obligation and if I didn't know how to do something I should talk to my teacher. It was my responsibility to learn what was being taught and ask questions when I didn't understand something. I understand that some kids may need additional help in some subjects but the vast majority of kids shouldn't need help every day to finish homework. I sense a lot of laziness going on. BTW I may eat my words when I have my own kid but hopefully my kid will be as independent as I was.
@LivLew I think homework is more intense now. DH has much younger cousins and in kindergarten they had homework that required a computer nearly every night. I definitely think some people probably do their kids homework just to get it done. Definitely doing their kids a great disservice
I don't get the whole "I won't fart in front of my husband because I'm a lady, I puff out unicorn rainbows". It's a natural body function... Maybe it's because my DH & I have been together for almost 20 years, but I can't imagine having to hide my farts. Plus, if your SO watches you give birth, there are far more traumatizing things than a toot.
@LivLew I disagree, especially for the younger grades. I do not think that parents should need to help with every single thing, but when they are younger, they need guidance on how to properly do the homework, and how to use the things they learned in class to help them finish the assignment. If they are older, I think parents should be involved enough that they know what the student is working on, and can help when they are asked to. I know I struggled in school, and my parents were always trying to help me develop skills for my homework, and eventually I go the hang of it all, but I never would have if they hadn't stepped in. As a former teacher, I know that they don't assign the homework to be a parent thing, but they do expect that the parents are available to help. When I would conduct parent teacher conferences with struggling students/parents, I would guide the parents on where to look to help their student be more successful. I also think that having the parent help sets an example, and shows the student how important the work is.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Let's get this UO on fire! I don't get all my friends that have to help their kids do their homework. My parents never helped with homework. School was my obligation and if I didn't know how to do something I should talk to my teacher. It was my responsibility to learn what was being taught and ask questions when I didn't understand something. I understand that some kids may need additional help in some subjects but the vast majority of kids shouldn't need help every day to finish homework. I sense a lot of laziness going on. BTW I may eat my words.
***stuck in the damn box***
You will definitely eat those words! My 4th grader can do his independently, and then I check it over, but the sheer amount of homework my Kindergartner has is ridiculous. He needs me to at least explain the worksheets to him, and I don't see that as a disservice.
I can't stand people who do nice/charitable things and then post it all over Facebook and Twitter. Do nice things because it's the right thing to do...not for the "likes" on social media. Even if that's not why you do it...that's how it comes across when you post a huge paragraph including a picture of the homeless person you gave your change to.
Wife. Mom. Doula. Photographer. BFP #1- 12/26/2011- DS Born 9/7/12 BFP#2- 10/16/2014- DD Born 7/2/15 SURPRISE! BFP#3- 11/29/16- EDD 8/6/17
I think there is definitely a difference in helping and doing. I've heard from multiple people how much homework kids get. It's definitely a whole different world from when we were kids. My friend has a son in 1st grade. Last year in kindergarten on a snow day, he had to do schoolwork on the computer at home. And they still made them make up the snow day. I'm hoping that by the time my kids start school things are better. That's beyond ridiculous. I also feel for the teachers, there is so much pressure for kids to test well, the teachers have to test train at school and the kids have to do everything else at home.
UO kids sleeping in your bed. I'm not talking baby co-sleeping. I'm talking, my 5 year old wakes up every night and comes into our bed. We let it happen bc getting her back to sleep in her own bed takes forever. No, just no. You have your bed, we have ours. A fun movie night or morning ok, but sleeping habits are important!! Mean mom but i wont play that game!! Also kids who can't sleep in anything but dead silence. My kid will fall asleep with laundry running, dishwasher, us making dinner. We're in an apartment, noise travels.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
I don't have any kids yet so I don't feel like I can fairly comment on the homework issue, but all I remember is my dad constantly saying "I already did 6th grade" every single time I asked for help with something. Annoying. I also have heard that kids are getting way harder assignments and larger amounts of homework these days, so sometimes parents probably help so they aren't up past bedtime trying to finish projects, etc..
@DoulaTog13 OMG YES. That drives me nuts. You have to wonder if people would still be as charitable if it didn't involve posting a video to facebook for 1000 comments saying how great they are. It's sad..
Somewhat related to the AW charity acts... I can't stand when people post dramatic FB statuses giving zero information. Saw this one today: "My heart has never hurt so much". And scene. No background, no hints in the comments. She just wanted people to feel sorry for her. Eye rollllll.
@LivLew I think you will change your mind after having kids. I agree that if you have kids in high school they can do their own homework. School is a lot more intense now. My preschooler has homework and I have to read the directions with him and tell him what to do. I have friends with kids in elementary and they have to help. You don't have to give your kids the answers but you do have to answer simple questions they may have
UO people posting how bad there kids are..... lately I have seen videos where I am like where in the world is the discipline and why is your 9 year old throwing tantrums for a hair cut or because they do not want to be at the doctors office, etc. I believe as parents we have a responsibility to be parents and discipline and teach are kids accordingly. This is why there is too many fk'd up generation growing up so many disrespectful kids not enought parenting going. The other day I was grocery shopping and this little girl that look like she was 10 years old rans her mom over with the cart because she was mad because she could not get something and the mom just laughed and she was like you want a kid, I told her I know I would leave the store and she would get a spanking you are big to be doing that but she looked like she was a kid that got her way doing that so I just shook my head and left. I can't deal with stuff like that.
@secicc12 I agree on the posting a dramatic FB status and not giving any detail. I really hate it when they just use the emotion thing like "persons name is feeling anxious" and leave it at that. I have a few people who are like that, and it drives me nuts. I had one friend post (she is 22 weeks pregnant now) "We Know!!! with the baby faces for boy and girl" and then say nothing. 2 hours later bitch about how people would find out when they decided to tell them, and to stop bugging her and ruining her day. I really wanted to say, "what the hell did you think was going to happen?" People are annoying.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Agree on the AW Facebook posts. A girl I went to high school with posts stuff like that all the time. She really likes to post when people die. She's always really sad when her mailman's sister's nephew's ex wife loses a coworker. I want to be like stop making it about you and posting newspaper articles about the car accident. People who actually know them are grieving.
Yesssss to the vaugebooking and attention seeking statuses on social media. No one is forcing you to post anything on facebook. You don't want people to know about something personal going on in your life? Don't post about it. I have "friends" who just suddenly ghosted from FB only to emerge a year or so later with their maiden last name. Much more respect to them than the people who go "It's complicated" to "In a relationship" to "Single" and then post 300 million memes about keeping your head above water and the true character of people.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
As a current teacher I wholeheartedly disagree with the homework comment. I DO believe they need to develop independence and they MUST be able to eventually complete the work on their own. With that being said I'm so tired of families trying to lay all the education responsibilities of their child onto the teacher. Yes it is my job to teach your child in an appropriate way that allows them to absorb the materials. However it is YOUR job as the parent to ensure your child's success and that involves KNOWING what it is they're doing in class and recognizing their strengths and weaknesses. You may see something different at home vs school. I cannot tell you the number of parents I have tell me "well they do this at home" okay, great, but they don't do that here. Whether it be because parents can reward them with more interesting or expensive things at home or it's because they're working 1 on 1 at home with a parent. *end rant*
Also HATE HATE HATE when people bash their children on facebook. My BIL and SIL do it CONSTANTLY!
@cmmiller531 Do people actually bash their kids on facebook?? I can't say I've ever seen it, but most of my friends don't have kids yet. How does that even go through a parent's mind?!
@secicc12 it might just be my BIL and SIL, but they vicious sometimes! Occasionally they're looking for advice but it just comes across as mean!! Not long ago it was something to do with my niece still pooping her pants. I wish I could find the exact words they used but it broke my heart. They're sometimes pretty nasty to her face too which explains why she smacked me in the head last time I saw her.
@SpotConlon this cracks me up... I also crack up at people pretending their love is so superior on Fb.
@bumpybump I understand explaining - not doing - homework for kids until they get to middle school. After that I just don't get it. And, yes, I'm ready to eat my words! What do kids do in school all day that they don't know how to do their own homework? Are teachers giving kids homework about things that they're not teaching in class? I remember reading and rereading my textbooks several time and working over the examples until I understood something that I may have not paid attention in class. But I guess it depends of the kid's personality.
@SpotConlon YES! It just makes me feel awkward! and @cmmiller531I agree, Valentine's day was a giant eye roll.
@Livlew as a teacher, I don't expect my parents to explain or do homework. Kids should know how to do their homework independently. If not, then I want to know so i can reteach it to them at school. Hopefully, a parent will provide time and a quiet place, but that's all that should be needed. If a parent has been to spend an hour reteaching something, that is not okay.
To go along with the parents shaming their kids on FB, I really hate it when they post pictures of their kids going 'potty' on FB or even worse, Snapchat!
I have a cousin who is 5.5 years younger than me (so early 20's) and has a 2.5 year old. She has been potty training for a while now, and loves taking videos of her daughter on the potty. I always skip over those and hope for just some cute baby pics. I can understand taking photos for your eyes only, but to make them your snap story, or post them on FB is another level! It just drives me NUTS!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@cmmiller531 I do think parents should know what their kids are doing in class but it's the kid's responsibility to do their own work. I believe that parents, teachers, AND kids have responsibilities. I can't stand parents that blame the school, the teacher, the friends, the neighbors, the dog, but never their little angel like the kid has no responsibility on anything.
Edit: I just want to add that I didn't want to transfer the responsibility to the teacher. Quite the contrary, I had great teachers that gave me all the tools to succeed. They explained the material, answered questions, spent a little extra time with me after class when I needed, so it was only fair and expected that I could do my own homework. If I didn't know how to do something at home, my mom would ask me questions and make me think why I could not complete something that my teacher expected that I should know. The answer would usually fall into 3 categories: I didn't pay attention, I didn't ask questions when I had the opportunity to do so, or the subject was over my head and I would accept to have tutoring to catch up. Surprisingly, only once (HS Physics) the answer was the 3rd one.
@PinkPrincessPiper " Plus, if your SO watches you give birth, there are far more traumatizing things than a toot." I'm dyyyying!!
DH's ex-wife allegedly used to fart "a lot" and it very much annoyed him. For us, it's not the toot, it's the smell. We try to save each other the smells. Back when we shared a bathroom we courtesy-flushed and lit candles. Now with separate bathrooms we ensure the fans are on. I've apologized a few times to DH lately for the pregnancy gas situation. Can't help them slipping out sometimes! Then I light a candle. He knows there's nothing I can do about it!
My unpopular opinion seems to be that I'm not inviting DH's parents to the gender reveal. It is just supposed to be a quick low key thing (my dogs first bday cake will be the reveal cake for something fun). Really only having my parents there because they live two blocks away and they can take a pic for us when we find out - I'm not looking to make this thing a big party and host for the weekend. Some might think that's mean to them but since they can't just come over for a hour, is what it is.
I also don't care to have them there because when I finally sent them a 10 week ultrasound pic my MIL and SIL proceeded to say 'oh look at that huge forehead' 'looks like it has a resting bitch face' 'look at those long awkward limbs, that must come from your side of the family.' and my fav 'if it's a girl can I have it, I dont want a boy'. They are lucky that was over a message where I could calm down before I lost it on them.
Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
My UO is that I don't get all the hype over super detailed birth plans, unless there's a medical need for it. I'm not Mariah Carey and I don't need to micro-manage a labor and delivery that I won't have much control over anyway
I agree. Our hospital has a checklist that you can fill out about whether you want certain things or want to skip them (like skin to skin, golden hour, pain management, etc). That's plenty good enough for me.
Re homework I think some parents way overdo it. My oldest doesn't start kindergarten until next year and we don't do the kind of preschool that gives homework, but I've seen what lengths some people go to. What I really hate is the micromanaging of "projects". Anything a 6 or 7 year old makes is going to look like shit. It just is. But let them do it! Even if the glue is globby and the pictures are cut out unevenly and everything isn't perfectly straight. If an elementary school teacher takes off points because the project looks like a kid did it, then they suck.
Re birth plans. I know several women who are doulas and they all agree they are more to prepare for any situation then a 'this is how it's going to go' thing- if X happens, then I'd like Y. These are interventions I'm okay with. If baby needs to go to Nicu Dh goes with him. Obviously you can't cover every situation, but I don't think planning and preparing for various outcomes should be mocked (not that you were. But lots of people hear birth plan and think "oh great here's another lady insisting on lotus birth with Gregorian chants in the background"). Writing my birth plan was a chance for me to educate myself about all aspects of birth I could and it actually saved me from a totally unnecessary intervention. After 2 hours the dr was like "ok this has been long enough, let's do an episiotomy and pull him out". Because I had educated myself I knew to ask the nurse if baby was in distress, and when she said no, I declined and got him out on my own 10 minutes later with no stitches needed. Drs in big hospitals sometimes prioritize their own convenience- I know mine did- and I saved myself from a much more difficult recovery.
Uo: I don't like pets and I don't want any. I enjoy other people's pets for about 10 minutes but don't want the mess, expense, or extra work in my own home. Dh really wants a puppy and I've got him to agree to no puppies until all human children are toilet trained. After that I may be SOL.
@DeansGirl14 totally agree with smell thing. I don't fart in front of my husband simply because I hate the smell so I usually go to the bathroom real quick (except for lately!). DH used to have no shame whatsoever in front of me until one day, a few years ago, I had enough and let one go right next to him. He was mortified but I told him he needed a taste of his own medicine. Since then he tries really hard to go to the bathroom and if it slips, he'll excuse himself
@jwatt5 This is why I don't want to have one. DS's sitter makes cakes professional and offered to make one, but I know I will never hear the end of it if I don't invite his parents. And mine live near us too, so it would be such easier to plan without them. BTW- Cute idea with dog and cake!
I think when overweight women or men wear shirts like "wine and shopping are my exercise" it perpetuates the stigma that anyone overweight is lazy and eats poorly. I had a health problem and have spent the majority of my life overweight until I got my health addressed and was very conscious (or self conscious) of sending that type of message.
Re: UO 2/23
I've actually never found farts funny. Ever. Unless it's DD. She thinks farting is hilarious. Do it makes it funny to me.
I feel like the wording in this is terrible. But it's early
I'm comfortable... but it feels weird, in a way. I haven't sported leggings and a tunic since the stirrup-pants and lacy-legging craze of the early 90s (hello, neon!). I'm also a bit self-conscious that the tunic- even though it's plenty long- is not long enough to be work appropriate.
@happylifex3 DH and I are the same way.
Let's get this UO on fire!
I don't get all my friends that have to help their kids do their homework.
My parents never helped with homework. School was my obligation and if I didn't know how to do something I should talk to my teacher. It was my responsibility to learn what was being taught and ask questions when I didn't understand something.
I understand that some kids may need additional help in some subjects but the vast majority of kids shouldn't need help every day to finish homework. I sense a lot of laziness going on.
BTW I may eat my words when I have my own kid but hopefully my kid will be as independent as I was.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Wife. Mom. Doula. Photographer.
BFP #1- 12/26/2011- DS Born 9/7/12
BFP#2- 10/16/2014- DD Born 7/2/15
SURPRISE! BFP#3- 11/29/16- EDD 8/6/17
No, just no. You have your bed, we have ours. A fun movie night or morning ok, but sleeping habits are important!! Mean mom but i wont play that game!! Also kids who can't sleep in anything but dead silence. My kid will fall asleep with laundry running, dishwasher, us making dinner. We're in an apartment, noise travels.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@DoulaTog13 OMG YES. That drives me nuts. You have to wonder if people would still be as charitable if it didn't involve posting a video to facebook for 1000 comments saying how great they are. It's sad..
Somewhat related to the AW charity acts... I can't stand when people post dramatic FB statuses giving zero information. Saw this one today: "My heart has never hurt so much". And scene. No background, no hints in the comments. She just wanted people to feel sorry for her. Eye rollllll.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
Also HATE HATE HATE when people bash their children on facebook. My BIL and SIL do it CONSTANTLY!
@SpotConlon this cracks me up... I also crack up at people pretending their love is so superior on Fb.
I remember reading and rereading my textbooks several time and working over the examples until I understood something that I may have not paid attention in class. But I guess it depends of the kid's personality.
@Livlew as a teacher, I don't expect my parents to explain or do homework. Kids should know how to do their homework independently. If not, then I want to know so i can reteach it to them at school. Hopefully, a parent will provide time and a quiet place, but that's all that should be needed. If a parent has been to spend an hour reteaching something, that is not okay.
@PinkPrincessPiper I cringe thinking your kindergartener has homework!
I have a cousin who is 5.5 years younger than me (so early 20's) and has a 2.5 year old. She has been potty training for a while now, and loves taking videos of her daughter on the potty. I always skip over those and hope for just some cute baby pics. I can understand taking photos for your eyes only, but to make them your snap story, or post them on FB is another level! It just drives me NUTS!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Edit: I just want to add that I didn't want to transfer the responsibility to the teacher. Quite the contrary, I had great teachers that gave me all the tools to succeed. They explained the material, answered questions, spent a little extra time with me after class when I needed, so it was only fair and expected that I could do my own homework. If I didn't know how to do something at home, my mom would ask me questions and make me think why I could not complete something that my teacher expected that I should know. The answer would usually fall into 3 categories: I didn't pay attention, I didn't ask questions when I had the opportunity to do so, or the subject was over my head and I would accept to have tutoring to catch up. Surprisingly, only once (HS Physics) the answer was the 3rd one.
I've apologized a few times to DH lately for the pregnancy gas situation. Can't help them slipping out sometimes! Then I light a candle. He knows there's nothing I can do about it!
It is just supposed to be a quick low key thing (my dogs first bday cake will be the reveal cake for something fun). Really only having my parents there because they live two blocks away and they can take a pic for us when we find out - I'm not looking to make this thing a big party and host for the weekend. Some might think that's mean to them but since they can't just come over for a hour, is what it is.
I also don't care to have them there because when I finally sent them a 10 week ultrasound pic my MIL and SIL proceeded to say 'oh look at that huge forehead' 'looks like it has a resting bitch face' 'look at those long awkward limbs, that must come from your side of the family.' and my fav 'if it's a girl can I have it, I dont want a boy'. They are lucky that was over a message where I could calm down before I lost it on them.
DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
TTC #2 06.2019
08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!
Re birth plans. I know several women who are doulas and they all agree they are more to prepare for any situation then a 'this is how it's going to go' thing- if X happens, then I'd like Y. These are interventions I'm okay with. If baby needs to go to Nicu Dh goes with him. Obviously you can't cover every situation, but I don't think planning and preparing for various outcomes should be mocked (not that you were. But lots of people hear birth plan and think "oh great here's another lady insisting on lotus birth with Gregorian chants in the background"). Writing my birth plan was a chance for me to educate myself about all aspects of birth I could and it actually saved me from a totally unnecessary intervention. After 2 hours the dr was like "ok this has been long enough, let's do an episiotomy and pull him out". Because I had educated myself I knew to ask the nurse if baby was in distress, and when she said no, I declined and got him out on my own 10 minutes later with no stitches needed. Drs in big hospitals sometimes prioritize their own convenience- I know mine did- and I saved myself from a much more difficult recovery.
And sorry for the novel!
I think when overweight women or men wear shirts like "wine and shopping are my exercise" it perpetuates the stigma that anyone overweight is lazy and eats poorly. I had a health problem and have spent the majority of my life overweight until I got my health addressed and was very conscious (or self conscious) of sending that type of message.
*runs and hides*