@direwolfmini I know that she doesn't take home double what I make but I would bet that she makes just as much if not a dollar or two more an hour than I do. Plus, she's older and nearly computer illiterate... super nice lady but all of that certainly makes me feel undervalued! I will be asking for a raise when I get back though.
Me: 24 DH: 27 High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06 Married: 10/13/13 Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
Late to the party but omg @direwolfmini I'm sorry you're dealing with that with your mil!! I hope your husband is able to see how important it is and make arrangements to get his shot too. I had rotations where I saw babies in the hospital with whooping cough and it was so heartbreaking. I think a wonky door is a perfect opportunity to get locks changed!
married 10.10.14 @ Turks & Caicos yorkie mama to Oscar FTM EDD 3.12.17
ugh.. i thought the left over beef teriyaki stick sounded yummy. all it did was confirm to me that it was in fact the chinese food that gave me an awful stomach ache a couple of nights ago. dumb dumb dumb..
@thisisallyson I wish I had some advice or something besides internet hugs to send! DH goes through frustrating periods but I have tried to be better about being direct and open with my feelings and needs, and that does some good.
@direwolfmini Embrace your inner direwolf! The babies are too precious and still far too little to take ANY unnecessary risks.
My complaint is so minor in light of many others, but I still need to vent... my long-term sub is clearly not as tech-savvy as she originally presented herself. I left her an incredibly organized Google Drive with everything (assignments, lessons, quizzes, tests, etc.) she will need for all 12 weeks and she has already texted and/or e-mailed me 4 times today (her first day) in confusion about simple things. You're killin' me, Smalls!!! I hoped she would be more independent...
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016. BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017. Samuel born February 2017!
So this is what's keeping me awake at the moment... (long, sorry) I just wrote the below & am planning to post it on facebook sometime in the near future since just about all of our family & friends are on FB & a few are already aware of how I feel. I find as I'm getting closer to the end that I'm becoming more paranoid about some things & getting so annoyed at all the "I can't wait to come over right away & kiss him & yadayadayada..." comments, but at the same time I don't think my fears are entirely unwarranted & frankly don't want any visitors til I'm ready for them. Does this sound too harsh though?
Dear all: this is a general notice that some may not like or agree with...I apologize in advance but I give zero sugarplums and will be making no exceptions.
As a soon to be first time mom and bit of a germaphobe, I did not just spend 9+ months baking this babe so he can promptly be exposed to preventable sicknesses, diseases, & such. Therefore we're putting in place some simple ground rules...
Please don't take offense to these and also don't take it personally that we won't be letting you know if/when he arrives - we aren't even going to be letting our own parents know at first.
After the first few days/weeks we may start to permit visits BUT those who do must comply with the following:
- if you're sick, get better first.
- you should have gotten both the flu shot & TDAP shot.
- there will be NO kissing this baby anywhere on the face...lips are off limits indefinitely.
- you can expect to wash your hands a lot & to use disinfectant on your phone/whatever else you may want near him.
- if you've recently smoked or have been around smoke, you'll wait coming near him until the smell is completely gone.
- other kids will not be able to visit until we feel comfortable.
My child's health is more important to me than anyone else's feelings, so again - I'm sorry if you don't like/agree with any of these but hope you can understand where this scared, somewhat paranoid mama is coming from. Thanks!
ETA: I got another 2 hours of sleep & decided I'm not actually going to post this on FB since it probably sounds too mean, but I'm glad I was able to vent it out on here at least.
@EnglishTeacherMama I feel the same way with my temp!! She is NOT tech savvy and I work in accounting where we use computers ALL day. However, I think you win since your sub is supposed to be passing knowledge down to other humans.
Me: 24 DH: 27 High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06 Married: 10/13/13 Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
@serenity13 I feel the same way...I did post an article to my Facebook and apparently my dad saw it and told my mom about it...it does make valid points and, unfortunately, not everyone has enough common sense to not come around the baby when they're sick (especially family members)...I don't know why they think they are exempt just because they're family. My friend's baby was born 7 weeks premature and her husband came down with the flu and couldn't be around the baby for over a week.
@rw3190, I think she's just being thoughtless, doing things the way she wants without considering what it means for her dad. She's a great kid, but she has this strange blind spot when it comes to dad. She asks and takes everything from him, but doesn't give much consideration in return. This whole situation is pretty typical. It's frustrating to me because she is otherwise amazing--a good student, kind, etc. Some day, she will realize how much he does for her, maybe when she's a parent herself in another decade or so! Thanks for listening. :-)
@serenity13 I 100% feel you--perhaps wait till baby is here and post this as part of your announcement?? Ppl tend to take parental marching orders much better with a cute baby face to go along with it.
@serenity13 Maybe instead of a list of "rules" you could say it all in a kind way. For example,
We're excited for you to meet our baby! We would ask that you wash your hands before holding him/her. If you're sick, we wish you a speedy recovery and look forward to your visit as soon as you're feeling healthy. Please get your flu shot now, so you're ready to meet this baby in ~5 weeks! We appreciate if you limit all kisses to baby's feet. etc. etc.
I think people respond better to being asked to do things rather than a list of "don't"s.
@direwolfmini Super late to the party too, but I totally agree you have to stand your ground. My moms not a "meds are poison person", but she always thinks she knows best and was trying to blow off TDAP. I marched her into a Walgreens 40 weeks pregnant with DD and I said I'll hold your hand, but if you don't get this shot you aren't holding my baby.
I also never had an issue with my MIL before my daughter was born, but we've had many conflicts in the last 2.5 years. I do think it's your babies and unfortunately how you care for them takes precedent over someone's feelings unfortunately. I'm sure my in-laws think I'm crazy sometimes and talk shit about me. It's changed our relationship a bit, but honestly my kids come first. Better to stand your ground from day 1, since it's prob the first of many battles (unfortunately)
the clinic rescheduled my already rescheduled eye dr appointment from the 28th to the 2nd. Already had a sitter worked out for the whole day since i have 2 other appointments that day. ugh! plus come on people I'm 9 months pregnant idk if i have until the 2nd! they're breaking my balls
Leaving costco: Trying to get purchases and my belly into my car. I **nick* the car next to me. (who is parked particularly close) So I spend 12 minutes finally finding paper and a pen to start my note. She walks up. I say oh good I was just writing you a note I nicked your car. She looks at it - " I'm sure it will be more than just that"
WHAT?!?!?
Then we try to take pictures of this tiny nick. And she insists that I contact her dealership repair and she will send a picture to get an estimate bc "she doesn't have time to deal with this"
Um first of all - it doesn't work like that!
Then bc my son is crying in the car she looks at me dead in the face and says - he's probably hot.
Again... no. He's been in there for 20 min with the ac blasting like the artic.
She was awful and delirious.
What is wrong with people?!?!?! If I was in her shoes I would be touched that a note was left and tell her thabk you for doing the right thing but don't worry about it. It's a car!!! (She had bigger nicks on her car than this one) Even if it was bad enough that I needed to take it in for repair - what do people get out of being jerks? To a super pregnant woman with a screaming toddler who was trying to do the right thing in the first place.
@kjd291 right?! I knew she was going to be a joy from the beginning. When she walked up before I in could get a word out she looked at me like "you're in my way"
@nicklesb my dad does the same thing. When I finally call I get - "Soooo your phone does work?" SMH
@thisisallyson what's his deal? Work stress, baby anticipation or just being an @$$?
@direwolfmini I know I'm late to this crazy party BUT good on your for standing up to the maddness mama. Seriosuly. I do. NOT. Get. ppl. We have been getting sick every couple weeks and MIL AND FIL have as well. I have insisted everyone get it and we didn't have 2 premie babies! You are absolutely in the right. I'm so sorry this has been a battle for you though.
@vino831 WHAT. That is ridiculous. I hit our other car in the garage worse than that on a daily basis. Honestly, you're better than me, I wouldn't have even started to leave a note. Just woulda peaced out.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
@vino831 What. A. B*tch. Absolutely awful that you're dealing with that right now. This is why people don't do the right thing, scumbags like her ruin it for the rest of us.
I'm joining you germaphobes. My aunt (the nutty one that tought I had the baby and didn't tell her) has a hoarding problem. And its not just clutter in her house. She has mold (which I'm terribly allergic to), mice, and spiders as well.
Certain members of my family are starting to talk about how excited they are to be meeting the baby and naturally my aunt wants me to come out there to visit. I once spent a weekend cleaning out a room in that house and wound up being really sick for over a month. I, like any responsible person, can't possibly consider bringing a baby into that house. If I got sick that easily, I would be terrified to see what would happen to a baby that has next to no immune system.
Well that's going to be lots of fun to explain to my aunt and her sister (the aunt that I live with). I am still being blamed for my cousin not allowing his children to be in that house a couple of years ago (I found tons of mold in air ducts and growing on the sheetrock, and lets not forget the mouse and spider infestations). My cousin is about to make that rule again because his children all got pink eye after their last time sleeping there.
My aunt and I have a weird relationship now because the aunt that I live with told her to blame me for my cousin's kids not being allowed in the house. She didn't speak to me for a year afterwards, and she's still weird around me. I love the woman dearly, and so I don't want to hurt her. However, I know this issue is coming up and like I said, it would be wrong to bring my baby in there. She has no real desire to clean up the mess, and most of the family enables her and likes to make light of this dangerous and unhealthy problem of hers.
All that means I will be the bad guy. Again. Please just shoot me now.
@vino831 agree with@datalover13 here, you are a far nicer person than I am! I would have just left it. If someone nicked my car like that it would take me awhile to even notice, and then I wouldn't even care about something that small! I have better things to worry about, and that can be buffed out at home.
@vino831 D. all of the above. He hates the guys he works with, but he doesn't feel like he could get a job that pays as much as he earns now doing something else so he feels stuck. He's in a bit of denial that the baby is coming in about a month. And he likes to take it out on me.
Honestly, there is so much going on with him right now, it is exhausting. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I happened to mention to my MIL last night that he wasn't doing well and that he was struggling. So, being the caring parents they are, they drove the 45 minutes down here to talk and support him. He really didn't take it well. Felt ambushed and ganged up on even though none of us were requiring him to do anything. They just wanted him to talk about what is going on because everyone in the family is noticing his downward spiral.
@vino831 I agree with everyone else- you're better than I! I would have left! She could probably buff that out by herself with a sheet of sandpaper or have a mechanic do it for free in fifteen seconds. I see absolutely no reason for you or your insurance to have to pay for that. I've noticed that being pregnant makes people either exceptionally kind, or super rude, I've encountered both. They're like, "dumb pregnant lady" or "oh what a cute pregnant lady!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Agreed with the above!! @vino831 you are too kind to even have started with a note....I would have just left it as is and peaced. Can't believe she gave you such a hard time about it.
married 10.10.14 @ Turks & Caicos yorkie mama to Oscar FTM EDD 3.12.17
YOU GUYS... I just got home from my 39 week appointment and my doctor informed me that he will be out of state at a conference from Sunday 2/26 to Sunday 3/5. I burst into tears because I'm hormonal and anxious and upset. Now I might have to do all this labor stuff that I'm already scared of with a stranger?? aaarrrrggg
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016. BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017. Samuel born February 2017!
Yall are so right! I can not stop cursing myself for even trying to leave note. While I was looking for a pen I kept telling myself I was being silly I should go. NEVER AGAIN!!!
I'm going through the exact same situation with my doctor (who is already the second I've had to move to within the practice). If I deliver tonight, great- it's her. If not, it's a lady I've never met.
@EnglishTeacherMama I know it probably doesn't help to hear--but I promise when the time comes you won't care at all which doc pops into the room to catch your baby! Docs really don't effect the experience much. The nurses are 99% of the experience and they are amazing. Im really sorry you have the added stress and are upset about it though
@EnglishTeacherMama I know it probably doesn't help to hear--but I promise when the time comes you won't care at all which doc pops into the room to catch your baby! Docs really don't effect the experience much. The nurses are 99% of the experience and they are amazing. Im really sorry you have the added stress and are upset about it though
I agree with this, although I'm sure it is stressful for you right now! The nurses were there for the whole thing (they are the best, I loved the nurses), the doctor comes in at the end just for the pushing. I had the ob on call, so my own doctor didn't deliver my first. He then retired this year and I ended up switching to that ob who delivered DD because I had such a positive experience with her! So in my case, it all worked out really well in the end
@EnglishTeacherMama so sorry to hear! I will agree though that the nurses are what make the experience more than anyone else. Last time i had DS on the one out of six weekends none of my drs were on call and he was still great. I hope your replacement doc is just as great
@hippiemama@nicklesb Man, how did we end up in these boats? I am not cool with a stranger taking over this intense life moment! If I'm still pregnant next week, I'll be meeting the replacement doctor for my 40 week appointment, so I might see her once before we start.
@kjd291 Thank you, that does help. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that nurses are the ones there with you for hours.
@vino831 Yes, same doctor for years now, through my miscarriage and this entire pregnancy, and now he's dropping out with a week to go!!
@CanadianintheSouth I am encouraged by the reminder that nurses do the bulk of the work, thank you. It just stinks because my doctor has a good reputation for being patient with pushing to try to avoid tearing or episiotomies, plus he was supposed to do the baby's circumcision a few days later. I have no background on this new doctor at all.
@Gators&BoSox Thank you for the encouragement and well wishes! I will be praying & crossing my fingers & trying to find all the good vibes possible...
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016. BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017. Samuel born February 2017!
@EnglishTeacherMama So sorry for the added stress. My midwife is starting her vacation midway through the first week of March so I have no idea if she will even be available for me, so I completely understand the disappointment.
From my first experience with an OB, he barely made it on time. The nurses were amazing and took great care of us! Hoping your experience is amazing regardless, the replacement may end up being exceptional!
Today was my last day at work and I used to be in charge of ordering certain things in our department using a procurement card. Basically a business account card that charged to the hospital but the card had my name on it. The account administrator knew it was my last day and last week told me to make sure that I reconciled the account if there were any current charges and then she wound cancel the card today. So today I get an email from her saying that she was indeed canceling the card and again, to reconcile the account. I told her that I hadn't made any purchases and that I went ahead and cut up the card. She emailed me back and said that there were 2 pending transactions: one for $89 to OMG Swimwear in Miami and another one for $145 to Leisure Pro. I'm like, excuse me what?! Either someone found the department card and used it or the card somehow got hacked. I really don't know what to believe, but I told the lady that I'm 37 weeks pregnant and swimwear is the LAST thing I'd be buying right now! I also have no idea what Leisure Pro is. Either way, I then had to call the bank and start a fraud case and I'm like, are you kidding me, on my last day of work?? Thankfully the account administrator will handle all of this since she knows I'm leaving, but that wasn't quite the way I wanted to spend my last day at work!
Re: Weekly Bitch Fest (2/20)
High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06
Married: 10/13/13
Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
yorkie mama to Oscar
FTM EDD 3.12.17
@direwolfmini Embrace your inner direwolf! The babies are too precious and still far too little to take ANY unnecessary risks.
My complaint is so minor in light of many others, but I still need to vent... my long-term sub is clearly not as tech-savvy as she originally presented herself. I left her an incredibly organized Google Drive with everything (assignments, lessons, quizzes, tests, etc.) she will need for all 12 weeks and she has already texted and/or e-mailed me 4 times today (her first day) in confusion about simple things. You're killin' me, Smalls!!!
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016.
BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017.
Samuel born February 2017!
ETA: I got another 2 hours of sleep & decided I'm not actually going to post this on FB since it probably sounds too mean, but I'm glad I was able to vent it out on here at least.
High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06
Married: 10/13/13
Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
Here's the article I posted...some of the requests are a little extreme, but some are very good points - https://mom.me/baby/33401-10-rules-visiting-new-mom/?utm_source=internal&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=interest-baby
EP: 2.17.2016
DS: 3.4.2017
We're excited for you to meet our baby! We would ask that you wash your hands before holding him/her.
If you're sick, we wish you a speedy recovery and look forward to your visit as soon as you're feeling healthy.
Please get your flu shot now, so you're ready to meet this baby in ~5 weeks!
We appreciate if you limit all kisses to baby's feet. etc. etc.
I think people respond better to being asked to do things rather than a list of "don't"s.
I also never had an issue with my MIL before my daughter was born, but we've had many conflicts in the last 2.5 years. I do think it's your babies and unfortunately how you care for them takes precedent over someone's feelings unfortunately. I'm sure my in-laws think I'm crazy sometimes and talk shit about me. It's changed our relationship a bit, but honestly my kids come first. Better to stand your ground from day 1, since it's prob the first of many battles (unfortunately)
@nicklesb my dad does the same thing. When I finally call I get - "Soooo your phone does work?" SMH
Not even a dent just the nick in what I'm pretty sure is just the clear coat.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
Certain members of my family are starting to talk about how excited they are to be meeting the baby and naturally my aunt wants me to come out there to visit. I once spent a weekend cleaning out a room in that house and wound up being really sick for over a month. I, like any responsible person, can't possibly consider bringing a baby into that house. If I got sick that easily, I would be terrified to see what would happen to a baby that has next to no immune system.
Well that's going to be lots of fun to explain to my aunt and her sister (the aunt that I live with). I am still being blamed for my cousin not allowing his children to be in that house a couple of years ago (I found tons of mold in air ducts and growing on the sheetrock, and lets not forget the mouse and spider infestations). My cousin is about to make that rule again because his children all got pink eye after their last time sleeping there.
My aunt and I have a weird relationship now because the aunt that I live with told her to blame me for my cousin's kids not being allowed in the house. She didn't speak to me for a year afterwards, and she's still weird around me. I love the woman dearly, and so I don't want to hurt her. However, I know this issue is coming up and like I said, it would be wrong to bring my baby in there. She has no real desire to clean up the mess, and most of the family enables her and likes to make light of this dangerous and unhealthy problem of hers.
All that means I will be the bad guy. Again. Please just shoot me now.
Honestly, there is so much going on with him right now, it is exhausting. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I happened to mention to my MIL last night that he wasn't doing well and that he was struggling. So, being the caring parents they are, they drove the 45 minutes down here to talk and support him. He really didn't take it well. Felt ambushed and ganged up on even though none of us were requiring him to do anything. They just wanted him to talk about what is going on because everyone in the family is noticing his downward spiral.
yorkie mama to Oscar
FTM EDD 3.12.17
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016.
BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017.
Samuel born February 2017!
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
thisisallyson I am gonna message you
I'm going through the exact same situation with my doctor (who is already the second I've had to move to within the practice). If I deliver tonight, great- it's her. If not, it's a lady I've never met.
Im really sorry you have the added stress and are upset about it though
@kjd291 Thank you, that does help. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that nurses are the ones there with you for hours.
@vino831 Yes, same doctor for years now, through my miscarriage and this entire pregnancy, and now he's dropping out with a week to go!!
@CanadianintheSouth I am encouraged by the reminder that nurses do the bulk of the work, thank you. It just stinks because my doctor has a good reputation for being patient with pushing to try to avoid tearing or episiotomies, plus he was supposed to do the baby's circumcision a few days later. I have no background on this new doctor at all.
@Gators&BoSox Thank you for the encouragement and well wishes! I will be praying & crossing my fingers & trying to find all the good vibes possible...
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016.
BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017.
Samuel born February 2017!
From my first experience with an OB, he barely made it on time. The nurses were amazing and took great care of us! Hoping your experience is amazing regardless, the replacement may end up being exceptional!