UO 2/16

Nxy · February 2017

Let's see some unpopular opinions

Nxy · February 2017

I really dislike when people see/read/hear studies and statistics that have been published that offer new information and act like it's all made up because they had a different experience.
No SIL it's not safe to forward face your one year old baby just because your friend did and everything turned out ok. No Mom it's not ok that you put a huge puffy coat on my nephew in the carseat because when you were kids you just rolled around the backseat and lived..

edit: not just about child related studies either 80%* of people who smoke get lung cancer, my so-and-so smoked their entire life and made it to 90 so obviously that's made up..

*80% was made up for an example

SouthernMama15 · February 2017

@Nxy that drives me crazy! My FIL gave dh and sil ice cream at 3 and 4 months old and couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him give it to DS.

My unpopular opinion is that I hate all the neutral colored baby stuff. I like it with colors mixed in, but DH'S cousin and his wife are due in a couple weeks and everything from clothing to nursery decorations are grey, cream, tan, or navy. I feel like babies need color for stimulation and it makes me sad

lyse01 · February 2017

@SouthernMama15 Forget the baby - I need splashes of color for stimulation!

Nxy · February 2017

I also really don't like when people choose not to celebrate a holiday and act like they are above everyone who chooses to celebrate. I don't give a frick if you observe Valentine's or not but spending all of February lecturing everyone you run into about how it's a corporate holiday doesn't make you a better person.

SouthernMama15 · February 2017

@lyse01, same!

lyse01 · February 2017

My UO today: I thought my 14w appointment was kind of pointless, and would rather not have rearranged my day to accommodate it. Heartbeat, weight, and urine sample - that's all we're checking? I'm not really worried about this pregnancy, so I need a little more to convince me it's worth it.

PinkPrincessPiper · February 2017

I know some women don't want to be treated "special" or like they have a "handicap" during pregnancy, and that's great for them.

I, on the other hand, am having (another) difficult pregnancy, and I'll take all the help I can get. Yes, dear hubby, please take out the trash, do the dishes, and cook dinner. You can rub my feet too, while my aging body works hard to create our 4th offspring! Really trying not to be a special snowflake, but I'm not above admitting when I need help.

SarahBethBR · February 2017

Agreed! My husband will not allow me to take out the garbage, or really carry anything heavier than our cats. I am really enjoying this.

SweetTooth126 · February 2017

@lyse01 that's how most appointments are that don't involve ultrasounds, unfortunately! With my first pregnancy I was so bummed to miss work for those appointments.

lewliv · February 2017

DH thinks that because I had no nausea at all I can't have any other symptoms. He gets all pouty because I fall sleep on the couch at 7pm instead of spending time with him.

dmbfan46835 · February 2017

lyse01 said:

My UO today: I thought my 14w appointment was kind of pointless, and would rather not have rearranged my day to accommodate it. Heartbeat, weight, and urine sample - that's all we're checking? I'm not really worried about this pregnancy, so I need a little more to convince me it's worth it.

Get used to it:( that's going to be just about every appt if your pregnancy is uneventful. With DS I had my first appt at 11 weeks and that and the 20 week anatomy scan were the only appts with an ultrasound. Every other appt was just look for the HB, check your weight and fundal height and ask how youre doing. Boring and a total PITA. Lots of boring appointments in your future mama

but that's also a good thing. Means a healthy happy pregnancy for you too. Think positive!

kmwills · February 2017

SarahBethBR said:

Agreed! My husband will not allow me to take out the garbage, or really carry anything heavier than our cats. I am really enjoying this.

Lucky mama! The only thing my DH won't let me do is change the cat litter, because he thinks I'll get toxoplasmosis (from our indoor cat...).

oriole2017 · February 2017

Ugh, I agree! I hate how people don't update with the times. Just because we didn't wear seat belts doesn't mean it wasn't safe, even back then! Just because our moms may have smoked with us, again, didn't mean it wasn't safe. My favorite, which is really getting on my nerves lately now that I'm going to be a FTM, is spanking/hitting/shaking their kid. Just because our parents may have done it, older generations did it, doesn't mean there isn't new evidence showing how psychologically damaging it is for a child and how it sets a poor example and could lead to other things like relationship abuse, bullying, etc. I don't want to get into an argrument with anyone here. Just stating that I agree with the avoidance/shrugging of new evidence in favor for things that were always done and "seemed to work" in the past. Totally over it!

Mango517 · February 2017

I'm also mentally preparing for the arguments from older, well-meaning family members regarding outdated parenting norms. Especially around feeding babies table food. I will flip my shit if I see someone trying to give my few month old baby table food, but especially something like frosting or ice cream.

oriole2017 · February 2017

@SouthernMama15I agree! Even if you don't know the sex, there are plenty of sex-neutral colors other than grayeige or whatever the term is. Throw some color in there!! Orange, purple, green, yellow, turquoise, red....

@PinkPrincessPiper 4th child! you deserve to be pampered while pregnant if you want the help. I think people can feel however they want, and they can waffle on how they feel at different times of the pregnancy. My first few weeks, I was fine, I didn't need any help. I got to weeks 7-10 and I couldn't keep meals down and really needed assistance around the house. I couldn't muster enough energy to do typical chores. Now that I'm feeling better again, I'm for being more self-reliant. It's ok to lean on people when you need help and it's ok to accept help and want to be offered help or pampering, when you feel you need it. And it's ok to want to be self-reliant and decline the help for things you can totally handle yourself. It's a short time, it'll pass. I figure, how often do people offer, and why not accept a little gratitude when it is offered. No one's rushing to help you when you're up all night feeding baby, or chasing toddlers around your house. So sometimes the extra hand or two at other times can be better than nothing. But if it offends you or seems like it's meant to be offensive, just politely decline. You don't need added BS in this time of your life.

oriole2017 · February 2017

@nxy My birthday is this month. I always treat it like a holiday and I love that the husband does too. Then, I treat his birthday as one too.

SarahBethBR · February 2017

kmwills said:

SarahBethBR said:

Agreed! My husband will not allow me to take out the garbage, or really carry anything heavier than our cats. I am really enjoying this.

Lucky mama! The only thing my DH won't let me do is change the cat litter, because he thinks I'll get toxoplasmosis (from our indoor cat...).

My H won't let me do that either. I am not letting him in on the low low risk for indoor cats.

SouthernMama15 · February 2017

@Mango517 it was a constant argument.

@oriole2017 it's not even a gender neutral thing with them, they spend money hand over fist and I'm sure would probably never reuse for their next child. She owns 2 boutiques, one for kids, one for women/home. She is very bohemian/shabby chic, which is fine, but you don't need to push that on your kids. My sister in law works with her and she's due in July and is being the same way. It blows my mind.

Kudlica27 · February 2017

So far I agree with every "unpopular" opinion today....

DoulaTog13 · February 2017

hahaha...ok. so I guess my UO is that the nursery decor and clothing choices for infants are more for the parents than the kid, so I don't really feel like decorating or buying what YOU like at this stage is necessarily pushing your likes on your kid. They will develop their own tastes and personalities regardless of what we try to push or not push on them. I also feel this way about people who refuse to buy "girly" colors for their girls because they don't want to enforce gender stereotypes. Colors don't have a gender. And being "girly" shouldn't have a negative connotation.

DeansGirl14 · February 2017

DoulaTog13 said:

hahaha...ok. so I guess my UO is that the nursery decor and clothing choices for infants are more for the parents than the kid, so I don't really feel like decorating or buying what YOU like at this stage is necessarily pushing your likes on your kid. They will develop their own tastes and personalities regardless of what we try to push or not push on them. I also feel this way about people who refuse to buy "girly" colors for their girls because they don't want to enforce gender stereotypes. Colors don't have a gender. And being "girly" shouldn't have a negative connotation.

I'm not decorating at all. We have two bedrooms, the second of which holds a full bed, a huge bookshelf (which we have to secure, and is half-empty awaiting baby stuff) and a small upright piano. The child's going to sleep in a bassinet in our room for 6 months; the full bed stays for my parents to stay to help us out. The room is entirely neutral right now. I figure even if I tried to make it more "nursery"-like, the kid's going to grow out of it. Maybe she'll like pink and princess, maybe she'll like zoo animals. I'm just not going to waste my time on that room (aside from swapping out the bed eventually for a crib) until the kid starts showing interest in stuff.

And I hope my daughter is girly. She'll be dressed in ruffles until she can communicate disdain/distaste for my style, lol.

DoulaTog13 · February 2017

@DeansGirl14 This baby doesn't even get a nursery. It will sleep in our room for the first year. Then, we'll move my son in with my daughter for awhile until this baby sleeps consistently through the night (maybe around 3 years old) and then whichever 2 are the same sex then they'll share a room.

Mango517 · February 2017

I have one that piggybacks off of @Nxy holiday post...

I have no plans to celebrate Mother's Day for myself. I don't think it's something that will change when I'm actually a mother either. Mother's Day just not something I can get excited for. Which is strange because I love Valentine's Day and all those other "Hallmark" holidays. Maybe because my MIL has always gotten way into it that her expectations turned me off over the years? Or that our anniversary is mid-May and I'd rather celebrate that? My birthday is also in May and I'm a special birthday princess so I'd rather focus on that

Check back in with me in May 2018 to see if I feel the same way. Should be interesting if I have to eat my words or not.

NatSprat0703 · February 2017

@kmwills my hubs won't even let me in the same room when he's changing the litter! lol. But I'm not mad at it. He literally never touched it before I was pregnant. I'm hoping it turns into a habit haha

@Mango517 I know that I'm going to get in never ending battles with my MIL about this crap. We lived with them for 5 months after our house flooded and she swore we were starving our 25 lb dogs bc we gave them 1/2C of food twice a day (per the VET'S suggestion). I can only imagine how bad it's going to be with a human...

littlebug2010 · February 2017

@Mango517 I do plan to celebrate mothers day when I am a mother, when my baby is in my arms, but I sure as hell am not letting people celebrate it for me this year. I actually get to be with my mom on mothers day this year, and i will be only celebrating her and my MIL this year. My Mom has already said she wants to celebrate me, but I put my foot down on that one. Not to mention, the reason I get to celebrate with her, is becuase my sister is graduating from college the day before, so really its all about her that weekend anyway!

mia080 · February 2017

i agree with @DoulaTog13 ... while the baby is still a sack of potatoes EVERYTHING will really be to the parents taste... whether it's understated and neutral, bright colors, gendered or not. i get the color for stimulation point, but i like it more in classic toys.
i was a hard kid and now adult for my mom because she and i don't necessarily have the same style in a lot of things. so i am going to soak up all this time i get to choose the decor, clothing, toys, books, etc... until they start growing their own opinions, likes, & dislikes. plus, everyone needs to have the experience of looking back at old photos saying "mom/dad, what the hell did you put me in?!" :b

HappyToBeHere · February 2017

We chose not to find out the gender of our first born, so we painted the walls grey and put all the furniture in. Once DD came, we added some colour with pillows, wall decorations, etc. Was pretty easy

. It's more my style, but at some point she will be able to tell me what kinds of things she would like to decorate with.

lyse01 · February 2017

@Mango517 @littlebug2010 oh no, I have to do something for Mother's Day for my mom and MIL now, don't I? My brother and I are usually texting "yo, mom's bday, don't forget to call" and that is so not going to fly with my MIL.

But it will totally fly with me when my kid is old enough to have outgrown school projects for Mother's Day.

knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f · February 2017

I feel bad for my parents.. I had this beautiful Peter Rabbit themed nursery when I was little (apparently..I clearly don't remember it). But as soon as my parents let me re-decorate my room, I chose bright purple walls with baseball wallpaper (Red Sox obsession) that took them weeks to remove when I went away to college.

I think I'll be keeping our neutral nursery for as long as possible.

szwill86 · February 2017

@HappyToBeHere that's exactly what we plan on doing. Not like baby will be in there for a while, anyways, since he/she will be in our room for a few months.

dmbfan46835 · February 2017

Lol all this nursery talk hits home for us. I went ALL out for DS's nursery. Outer space themed with huge planet decals, rocket ships, and his name and the solar system on the ceiling. The whole shebang. He doesn't give a shit. He's not into any of that. Honestly it was a distraction once he gained enough vision to see the walls. It would prevent him from sleeping! And now with number two on the way I have to move DS to the 4th bedroom and change this damn nursery for the new baby.

And now I'm like when do I move him to his big boy room? And big boy bed? All Disney Cars themed of course, lol. He's 17 mos now, do I wait til just before we bring home the baby? Will he even be ready by then? Will I even be ready to be that far away from him by then?

But back to the nursery decor... it's allllll about the parents and what they like. And I recommend not going overboard til they are old enough to actually tell you what they like and then do it up big! Keep that shit neutral if you may have to play musical rooms too.

SouthernMama15 · February 2017

We have a 3 bedroom house. When we renovated, I painted one extra room green and one yellow. The green one is across from our room so we used it for DS'S room. I did a vintage baseball theme. Nothing over the top, my mom made the bedding, rust red, navy, and cream with tiny stars and striped. The sheets were solid and we hung a couple baseball signs on the wall. I put baseball drawer pulls on the dresser. Nothing that can't be changed easily. We'll be putting my double bed in his room and reusing the crib for this baby. I'll probably just get some white sheets and a navy bead spread for his room. The new baby's room is yellow so I'm planning to reuse the white dresser with different drawer pulls and get drawers to put in DS's closet to free up some space in his room for him to play. Our glider is grey. I totally get being semi neutral, but there's nothing wrong with color as well. I guess what bugs me about the person I mentioned is that she registered for $70 pants for an infant. Babies grow fast and to me it's almost like saying she's too good for carter's or Oshkosh because it doesn't suite her personal style. Pretty sure no one bought it, but it seems kind of extreme to me. Obviously babies don't have a style, I guess I just meant that it bugs me when people try to make their children into miniature adults.

Nxy · February 2017

@dmbfan46835 I'd move your DS as soon as you can. Make a huge deal about him graduating into his big boy room. If you want to keep him in the crib still, just move that over for now.
Not that every family goes through this but my brother moved their son over the weekend they had their daughter and it was such a struggle for them. They hadn't really talked about moving him into the bigger room or any of that so over 4 days the poor kid lost his room, his crib and only child status. I feel like if they had moved him sooner and made him feel like it was about him and not the baby he probably would have adjusted better. He had a lot of new baby anger and I feel like being tossed out of his room right before they brought her home was a big part of it.
Now about when to move to a big person bed, that's mostly on you and your kiddo. We moved DD into a toddler bed at one because her crib was being moved across the world from May to mid November. She really didn't like the toddler bed so for Christmas we got her a loft style bed with a slide and she's been loving that.

All ya'll got me green with envy. I wont paint my house because we move too often so white walls are gender neutral right?

and_peggy · February 2017

I literally feel like I'm losing brain cells when I hear country music.

and_peggy · February 2017

Also, I hate Matt Damon.

Nxy · February 2017

My SIL told my nephew that my niece doesn't have a penis because it fell off tonight and everyone's "OMG that's so funny" to his reaction and I'm over here like uh.. yea confusing your 2 year old about genitalia HILARIOUS haha... and now I'm getting side eyed on skype because I said I thought that was stupid because kids need to know fact based information about their anatomy. Is it a UO that kids should be taught proper anatomical terms and given information about their bodies?

dmbfan46835 · February 2017

@nxy ahhhhhhhh. Very good points! I was so very hoping to reuse the crib and not have to buy a second one to just use for a couple of months. So maybe we move him to the new room in the crib and hope he is ready for a bed around when the baby comes. He will turn 2 just two days before my dude date. Maybe we can keep the baby in a bassinet for a few months in our room if he's not quite ready for that bed transition at that time. I love that he is confined to the crib so much tho! How do you keep them from dicking around with their room if NOT in a crib???

Nxy · February 2017

@dmbfan46835 I am very, very lucky that I found a house with a small office on the main level so DD has a dedicated play room. The only stuff she has in her room are books, a couple of her more attached stuffed animals and furniture. No toys, no anything. I'm also not 100% sure she knows she can get out of her loft bed without one of us in there lol. Even when she wakes up in the middle of the night she just sits in bed and asks if she can slide down.. luck? I don't know.

kmwills · February 2017

@Nxy I don't think so. My 2 yo DS knows he has a penis & testicles, but Mommy and DD don't because we're girls. We have "baginas." Lol We've always used anatomically correct terms with our kids, which can also be entertaining when dining with friends and DS looks down your shirt and yells, "Mommy, where are your nipples? I can't see them past your bra!"

imwithbaby · February 2017

@nyx anatomically correct terms are so so so so important! Totally with you on this. Studies have shown how it can help a child know what type of touching is appropriate/inappropriate and feel more comfortable in sharing about any abuse with their parents since there's no shame around the body parts.

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