Losing other People along with the Baby

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

Has your m/c suffered you to lose other people in your life? Friends? Family members? People who couldn't cope with your loss or acted so terribly you had no choice but to sever ties?

Ive lost 2 very good friends- 1 because she felt I should get over my losses after a couple months and fawn over her pregnancy and the other wanted no part of the choice between us (I didn't make her choose but still). And my mother who assaulted me last night after weeks (months) of her arguing with me and telling me all sorts of terrible things I won't get into here. Also my brother who thinks calling the cops on anyone is a capital offense (called the cops on my mom last night after the assault). And my brothers family too. And so now I'm an orphan with no siblings. And lost friends. In addition to my 4 babies. The fallout from miscarrying is real and devastating and goes beyond losing the babies. All sorts of things are destroyed- within you and outside of you.

This is is the saddest thing I've had to endure. (First world problem)

lala123321567789 · February 2017

I am so sorry. I don't have any answers, but it's terrible that people are acting like that. I have been devastated and not myself enough from one loss, I can not imagine your pain at losing 4 babies. Being in pain and not just "getting over it" is okay. I know I feel like I have lost the most precious gift I ever had (my baby) and it devastates me. Also people who havent had a loss a lot of times don't realize that a miscarriage is still losing a precious child. Losing all the hopes and dreams you had for them. If you need to talk, feel free to message me.

NYTino24 · February 2017

@rainbowwishes5 Have you considered a grief and loss counselor? I think they might be able to give you some support and guidance you aren't getting from your family.

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

@Perfectypo thank u u lovely person
@NYTino24 I do see a counselor. She's at the very least suportive of whatever I want/need to do. Good to have people on my side.

chaser61 · February 2017

I have not but just wanted to drop a note of support. Whew, when it rains, it pours. I hope you can find support that you need. Take care of yourself first.

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

Thanks so much @KristiSigma

GhanimaAtreides · February 2017

I'm sorry you're going through all of this at once. Time to seek out adding to your IRL friend circle to bolster the loss of support and step in for the support that was never there but should've been. When you're ready of course.

Adding to my IRL friend circle really helped me replace my toxic mother when I cut her off completely 2 years ago.

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

I'm trying @GhanimaAtreides recently I reconnected w a friend who also had a Cp and is struggling to conceive so we bond. And b****

SP128 · February 2017

So sorry you are going through losses at so many levels. Awesome that you are seeing someone to talk abt it. Keep on keeping strong.

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

Thanks @SP128

NYTino24 · February 2017

@rainbowwishes5 Glad you have someone to talk to IRL!

justsuzie · February 2017

It's def hard when you don't have people to talk to IRL. I'm struggling with that too. I've been doing a lot of journaling about it though. Good luck.

rainbowwishes5 · February 2017

Thanks @justsuzie gl to you too

xoLove06ox · April 2017

I lost my "best friend" that I also work with who was 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. She began to say all the typical well meaning yet hurtful things and escalated to saying things like "you have to do this for me because I'm still pregnant and you're not." It definitely made me see her true colors. She now insists that I should be refraining from talking about my miscarriage like I should be hiding it from the world like its a dirty secret.

toesinthesand-2 · April 2017

So sorry to hear that. As someone who is just now going through this experience, I would say that if they are acting that way you are better off without them. Do you have any other friends you can lean on to talk about it?

My DH was out of town for work when I went into the ER last week with what ended up being an Ectopic (my first pregnancy). One of my best friends took me in, and within an hour my other best friend arrived to. They stayed with me 6 hours in the ER and proceeded to "babysit" me the next three days until my DH got home. Coming over to do laundry, bring me food, and just sit and keep me company. I don't know what I would have done without them. Both of them have kids, so the understand the emotional side of it.

Hugs...I hope you find someone you can lean on!

xoLove06ox · April 2017

Luckily my boyfriend/the daddy is amazing and i have a phenomenal family. I have 1 other friend that I shared the loss with and some really caring employees, clients and customers to make up for the horrible friend. It is such a sad process. I feel horrible for anyone experiencing it. I can't imagine not having any sort of support system. I'm glad you had friends to help you through it as well ❤. In my perfect world these types of devastating things wouldn't happen.

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