Ask a STM week of 2/13

disneybaby84 · February 2017

It's one week closer for all of us, time for all procrastinators to get moving!

disneybaby84 · February 2017

I know all the standard signs that baby is coming, labor starting. What are some of the less common symptoms any of you STMs have experienced?

Cbeanz · February 2017

A sudden end to constipation the day before. A very welcomed yet VERY SUDDEN end lol.

Also: a strange need to stay very busy. Like couldn't sit down, kept pacing, ordering hubs around delegating work. I had a burst of energy and an overwhelming desire to get things done. For example, it was Dec 21 and we HAD to make Christmas cookies STAT. Several kinds. And laundry and scrub floor and and and...

RunBooRun · February 2017

@Cbeanz - that's really funny. My MIL talks about how she was on her hands and knees scrubbing the carpeting when she went into labor. Those carpets just had to be cleaned before the baby came!

Shazzie116 · February 2017

@disneybaby84 going #2 (like, complete emptying out), loss of mucous plug (large gobs) a couple days before, weird surge of energy.

Cbeanz · February 2017

The day before, I remember telling my husband, "I feel weird. Don't look at me, don't ask me any questions, just stay busy." And I bossed him around all day. Lol poor guy. This was really out of character for me - we are a team so for me to order him around like that was not normal.

CanadianintheSouth · February 2017

Going off what @Cbeanz said, I felt the need to steam clean all of my carpets one afternoon, I went into labor that night.

EnglishTeacherMama · February 2017

@disneybaby84 Thank you for asking this question!! It's been on my mind too. I have usually just heard horror stories of water breaking, major contractions, rushing to the hospital, etc. -- but then last week, some ladies were telling me about how their contractions were just "rather uncomfortable" and they almost didn't make it to the hospital in time because they didn't realize labor had officially started. Now I have no idea what to expect! So the STM answers here are wonderful

sunshine507 · February 2017

Has anyone experienced an ECV? What was it like?

wintersong · February 2017

EnglishTeacherMama said:

@disneybaby84 Thank you for asking this question!! It's been on my mind too. I have usually just heard horror stories of water breaking, major contractions, rushing to the hospital, etc. -- but then last week, some ladies were telling me about how their contractions were just "rather uncomfortable" and they almost didn't make it to the hospital in time because they didn't realize labor had officially started. Now I have no idea what to expect! So the STM answers here are wonderful

My experience is different because I was induced, but I didn't really find contractions painful until after they broke my waters at 6 cm.

kjd291 · February 2017

A bit of advice I've heard that I'm trying to focus on (not sure if I'm any good at actually following it ;] ) is : "Don't go looking for your labor, it will come to you"

You will know when you're in labor-if you're not sure... then you're probably not in labor. Just listen to your body-you'll be fine!

hippiemama-2 · February 2017

@kjd291 I want to be as calm, cool and collected as you are about this whole waiting game. FOR. REAL. I am over here like bargaining with my baby to "PLEASE GTFO!". I need you to teach me your magical unicorn ways.

kjd291 · February 2017

@hippiemama aw, girl-trust me I am NOT good at waiting. Most days I'm an anxious mess.
However... I think something that's helped so far is all along looking at 41wks as the finish line week-so if this kid comes early I will be pleasantly surprised! But if she's late : she'll be right on time!

shines721 · February 2017

I had my membranes sweeped at 39+4.. woke up the next day with consistent but not painful contractions, loss my mucus plug, went out to breakfast and then experienced the same thing with going to the bathroom consistently.. like a natural enema. I agree... if you're not sure if you're in it, then you probably aren't.

motherofdragons-2 · February 2017

I have a bit of a random question for fellow STMs and FTMs as well- in your shopping for baby or during the infancy of your previous kids, did you come across any unique or super helpful products? Like for instance I found a nursing pillow that goes around the forearm of whichever side your baby is nursing on and they lay their head on the pillow instead of your arm! Having had two babies who would only sleep in my arms or across my chest propped on one arm for a good two weeks of their lives, and only nursed football or sidelying, I would have KILLED for that product before and am totally getting one! Also nursing in public while its hot or under a cover, resulting in a sweaty headed baby? Hour long nursing session making your forearm sore? No thanks! What about you? Did you find a tummy time mat that just blew your mind with how perfect it was or a certain feeding tool? A CD of lullabies that knocked baby out every time? A toy that baby LOVED while they were under 9mo?

mtmama2 · February 2017

@silverbulletband Are you talking about the Nursie pillow? I bought one too!

shines721 · February 2017

No purchase.. but the song that my husband played on the guitar when I was pregnant with my son seriously soothed him when he was born. Also, the songs I sang to him from early on would soothe him in the car when I had to go pick up my husband from the train EVERY night.

wintersong · February 2017

The sweaty arm thing while nursing is real. I used to lay a receiving blanket along my arm because I couldn't stand it.

motherofdragons-2 · February 2017

@SienaC yas! I can't wait to try it! I might get two, one for the diaper bag and one for the house :P

@shines721 OMG that is too sweet....!

I love to sing and have always had music going on my phone or in the car through all pregnancies but my babies didn't really respond to my singing after birth in terms of making them tired. It caught their interest for sure but no magical soothing power haha. But then again I never really laid down and just sang to the baby in utero. Definitely will try it now though just for scientific purposes

shines721 · February 2017

@silverbulletband I didn't know until we hit the two month growth spurt and I had no idea what to do so I YouTubed a video of a guy playing "Brahms Lullaby" on guitar and he stopped crying. It was an amazing discovery!!

Burrberrymum · February 2017

So I'm moving from a main level apartment to a 2.5 storey house also with a basement we will be spending time in and I'm curious what everyones plans are in terms of bouncers and swings / places to put baby down? I don't want to be lugging chairs along with me and 2 kids up and down levels. Anyone planning on having doubles of these items for convenience? (Doing dishes, showering, other random things)

Lexxilou1986 · February 2017

We used the rock n play a lot, and I hauled it up and down the stairs every day...this time I have two! We kept the swing downstairs and a bouncy seat upstairs and a boppy for nursing on both levels. Also, I kept a basket with diapers, wipes, etc on the main level as well so I didn't have to run upstairs for every diaper change.

kjd291 · February 2017

I have a little hand-me-down bouncer in my livingroom, bassinet in our bedroom upstairs, pack and play I've had for DD in the bathroom (which i still need to re-make into an infant space) otherwise a good old blanket on the floor always works for me! ;]

npaulie · February 2017

I'm curious, is there a correlation between baby dropping and being a sign of going into labour within a certain time period? For STMs do you remember how soon before labour your baby dropped?

kjd291 · February 2017

npaulie said:

I'm curious, is there a correlation between baby dropping and being a sign of going into labour within a certain time period? For STMs do you remember how soon before labour your baby dropped?

No :[ sorry!! Could still make it to 42wks with an early dropping baby. ((ETA on the other end of things my midwife told me some even wait till IN labor to drop))

Gators&BoSox · February 2017

@npaulie no correlation

i was expecting this one to wait until labor to drop as i have heard this is common with second+ pregnancies but little girl is already quite low... which means i could have weeks left of lightning crotch and the feeling of a bowling ball on my cervix. I have an US tomorrow though and I'm going to ask the tech if she can recognize "the drop" on the screen and if she can show me.

kiyamurph · February 2017

@Burrberrymum We have a 2 level house and last time I took the rock n play up and down the stairs since it folds and is easy to carry. It wasn't a hassle but it did get old after a while. This time, baby will sleep in the pack n play next to the bed so the rock n play will stay downstairs.

kiyamurph · February 2017

Did anyone do any other type of pain management the first time around besides the epidural? I have a midwife appt tomorrow and plan to talk about pain management, but curious to see if anyone had experiences with taking something else to take the edge off so to speak. Wondering if it's helpful or not. I'm determined to not have the epidural this time mostly so I can labor and push in any position. Not one single person during my son's delivery gave me options for pain management and looking back, that's kind of disappointing. I feel like it's either epidural or nothing. Not sure if I'm interested in the gas, although I need to research that more.

Burrberrymum · February 2017

I have one swing and 2 bouncer chairs so I'm hoping that works for me. If it was just main floor and dragging up to the upstairs it would seem a little easier but to go from the basement to the main floor to the upstairs to the level above my second level seems a little crazy! So maybe a chair that stays in the basement and a chair that stays on the main level with the swing and I'm contemplating having something in the most upper level of the house too so the only thing I would need to bring up and down would be from the main level to the upstairs and back down when necessary... Maybe I'm over thinking this.

kjd291 · February 2017

@kiyamurph not all facilities offer the gas-but if yours does definitely look into it!

I accepted a dose of Nubain with DD - really wanted med free, but with being induced/hours of back labor with no break between contractions-I finally asked for something to take the edge off with still avoiding the epidural.

The way the nurse explained it felt was spot on: Like having a glass of wine. It helped me relax between contractions, made the peak of the contraction a bit more bearable. ( I'd be lying if I said it took away the pain fully - it still got really bad especially transition) but gave me a respite and helped things move faster once I could relax a tiny bit more.

Ive also heard rumor you can ask for a half a dose? If you want even less at once. I'm hoping this time I can do without-gonna try the gas first if I need help. But would ask for the nubain again before I would get an Epi.

Ivorytower2 · February 2017

@Burrberrymum I'm in a 2 story house this time too and just bought and extra rock and play. I don't want to lug up and down and thought it was worth the 45 bucks. We'll have the swing and bouncy seat downstairs and maybe put the pack and play upstairs just so we have multiple devices everywhere!

Edit to add- I'm seriously debating clearing out the downstairs hall closet so the baby can nap either up or downstairs when she's really little. How's that for lazy?!

jenny0228 · February 2017

Can any STM's give any advice on that coming home moment - did you find that instinct kicked in once baby was home? I'm so anxious about getting discharged from the hospital and getting home and feeling like a nervous wreck. I'm sure that also totally normal with a newborn, but to what degree were you either more or less anxious once you got home and had to figure things out? Did the push of your instinct surprise you? or were you waiting for some motherly innate know-how that didn't come on cue? Of course I know you need to get to know your baby but mostly I'm wondering if you felt some sort of instinctual feelings or not. Getting deep, y'all.

kjd291 · February 2017

@jenny0228 cheesy answer: as soon as i held her in the hospital I totally had that "this just feels right" instinct kick in.

Didnt take away the crazy emotions of leaving the hospital and heading home though...as you leave you just feel like: wait!? you're letting me take this life home with me! I'm completely responsible for it!? I don't have to prove I'm going to be a great parent or fill out days worth of paperwork or something!? Hah

I cried the entire drive home (30min) with DD. It's a lot to process with all the emotions and hormones and transition! But the taking care of baby part I find did come easy. They eat, and poop, sleep and then cry and eat some more. There isn't much to mess up at first! Praise God!

kiyamurph · February 2017

@jenny0228 I found that the mother bear instinct kicked in immediately. I was instantly protective of of my son and I found myself not wanting anyone else to hold him, even though of course I did. I secretly wanted him back though but kept those thoughts to myself since I didn't want to come across as a crazy rude person. My parents were sooo helpful and I really had no reason to tell them that I didn't want them to hold him besides just simply being a mother bear. Like @kjd291 said, babies pretty much just eat, sleep, and poop in those early days, so there isn't much to do with them. As long as they're clothed and fed, you'll be fine. But yes, in short you'll find that you just know what to do and it all works out in the end. There'll be some hard days, followed by days where all is right in the world and you somehow just get through it.

OctoberLove13 · February 2017

@kiyamurph I was telling my husband a few weeks ago that I already don't want anyone else holding the baby! It makes me feel like a complete weirdo but I just want him all to myself. I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one.

Spartanrd4 · February 2017

@kiyamurph in my childbirth class we learned about other pain options like analgesics but those drugs can be passed to the baby and can make you and the baby feel "drugged up" and "sleepy" sometimes.

Gators&BoSox · February 2017

@kiyamurph this probably isn't very helpful but last time a got some kind of shot in the ass, i honestly can't remember what it was. it was supposed to take the edge off but it didn't. I still felt all of the pain but also felt like a tranquilized moose. It was like being drunk and in pain and i immediately asked for the epidural after that so i could get some sleep and finish progressing before my 24 hour window closed up. so i guess i'm just trying to say, what works for most people might do strange things for you. i've heard great things about gas though so if you have that option i'd definitely explore it.

kiyamurph · February 2017

Thanks for the feedback about the drugs ladies. I'm not sure if the hospital where I'll deliver offers gas, but will find out in 2 weeks when I move. Will definitely do my research on it.

wintersong · February 2017

npaulie said:

I'm curious, is there a correlation between baby dropping and being a sign of going into labour within a certain time period? For STMs do you remember how soon before labour your baby dropped?

FTMs: can be seriously weeks after baby drops. For STMs I hear baby dropping means labor is imminent and baby might not even drop until labor begins.

kiyamurph said:

Did anyone do any other type of pain management the first time around besides the epidural? I have a midwife appt tomorrow and plan to talk about pain management, but curious to see if anyone had experiences with taking something else to take the edge off so to speak. Wondering if it's helpful or not. I'm determined to not have the epidural this time mostly so I can labor and push in any position. Not one single person during my son's delivery gave me options for pain management and looking back, that's kind of disappointing. I feel like it's either epidural or nothing. Not sure if I'm interested in the gas, although I need to research that more.

My hospital offers gas, so that's an exciting option that I'm considering this go round. The only thing is you have to stay in bed or in a chair next to bed...they don't let you walk around because the gas can make you dizzy/pass out. I wouldn't want narcotics. The best pain management for me last time was showers, hearing pads, and pressure on my back (back labor).

jenny0228 said:

Can any STM's give any advice on that coming home moment - did you find that instinct kicked in once baby was home? I'm so anxious about getting discharged from the hospital and getting home and feeling like a nervous wreck. I'm sure that also totally normal with a newborn, but to what degree were you either more or less anxious once you got home and had to figure things out? Did the push of your instinct surprise you? or were you waiting for some motherly innate know-how that didn't come on cue? Of course I know you need to get to know your baby but mostly I'm wondering if you felt some sort of instinctual feelings or not. Getting deep, y'all.

Newborns are pretty easy. 90% of the time when they cry they want to nurse. (If you choose that route.) Change diaper every feeding/every couple of hours. Constant holding. Sleep. Repeat. You have time to get comfy before they really "wake up" after a couple of weeks and get more demanding. I also agree about the mama bear thing, I did NOT want anyone but DH or I to hold my son, it made me so anxious.

CanadianintheSouth · February 2017

@jenny0228 I was freaking out beforehand because I hadn't held a baby in probably over 10 years before having my DD, I was just not around babies that much. So here I thought I would have NO idea how to do anything. Turns out instinct took over and I knew just how to hold her as soon as she was born, it was amazing. It did take a few hours for me to truly understand that she was mine (the bonding wasn't instantaneous for me), so I just recommend lots of skin to skin cuddling

As for the coming home part, I was very nervous but agree with PPs, newborns sleep more than you would ever believe. You learn as you go the best way to take care of your baby, so you don't have to suddenly know how to do everything!

Lexxilou1986 · February 2017

@kiyamurph I had several doses of fentanyl while being induced. It was great at night while the lights were low and I was trying to sleep through moderate contractions. The contractions would wake me but I could quickly go back to sleep. Once it was daylight and I wanted to be up and awake, the fentanyl made me feel dizzy and nauseous. So I went several hours with nothing until the strong pitocin contractions and the fact that I was still only 6cm made me want the epidural. I'll be honest, the epidural was amazing! I got a short nap, they broke my water and I could still help hold my legs and push when it came time. I had no desire to push on hands and knee, etc.

@jenny0228 I had a NICU baby for 10days and was so relaxed and happy when I could finally bring him home. I just snuggled up on the couch with him, nursed, and listened to music! It was amazing. I still had to do temp checks every 3 hours, but overall was just so relieved not to leave him anymore. It felt completely natural and we were happy!

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