I think people who get all bent out of shape about the "rules" on the bump (aside from TO violations) don't understand that it's not like someone's going to come kick them off the bump. Like any community there are social guidelines that are polite to follow. Structure and some organization are good to keep the community moving otherwise you've got a million of the same posts a day people (regulars) come by less often because they are sick of seeing the same stuff posted over and over.
@nxy I don't see anyone getting "bent out of shape." I understand the need for social etiquette, but I've been on the Bump for a long time, and it just seems like now more than ever before, people are constantly being called out for posting in the wrong place or using the wrong terminology, etc. And personally, I don't feel the need to scroll through 4 pages of "what did you eat for breakfast today," so I skip over most of the weekly update posts. When the entire first page of posts is announcements or weekly check-ins, I just log back out. Could just be me, and that's why I posted in UO. To each her own.
@bumpybump I didn't specifically call out this BMB. Taking things a bit personally, are we? And did you seriously just suggest that I should leave for stating *my* personal opinion on the *unpopular opinions* thread? That escalated pretty fast. My intention was simply to note that, in my observation, some folks seem to get way too caught up in enforcing the rules. Didn't call out names, didn't call out specific boards. And fwiw, I do follow stated guidelines where I post, in an effort to help keep things running smoothly.
My UO, since you all loved my last one about peanut butter...hehe... I don't like milk chocolate either. I certainly don't like the pb/choc combo! BTW, I do love dark chocolate. I just prefer it with salted caramel.
Or I guess, how about I love olives, in every kind there is. Trying to keep the MB discussion light and fun!
@kmwills I didn't tag you because I wasn't talking about you specifically. My opinion did come from disagreeing with yours but that was all. As many instances of people trying to manage the board as I've seen, I've seen just as many random one off posts of people getting upset that they were advised to use the intro thread. Also I was totally cool with your UO agree to disagree and all that but then I saw that you commented on a weeks old post about the sex poll seemingly just trying to stir the pot. Why? Seems odd.
@Nxy Because I just found out the sex of my baby, so I went into the post to update, which I don't think is unreasonable. (hey, at least I didn't create my own post to
announce ) That's when I saw another example - lots of back and
forth...pin it, don't pin it. Whether it's pinned or not isn't
something that I feel strongly about. It's obviously more important to
others, which is why I assumed I'm in the minority on my feelings. And
that's OK. I'm not opposed to guidelines on the whole, and I'm not
trying to stir pots, really. It just seems a bit much to me sometimes, that's
all. Like you said, agree to disagree. I'm good with that.
@oriole2017 Reese's are my absolute favorites (some childhood nostalgia entwined in that opinion) so I disgree...but dark chocolate/salted caramel is my favorite combo as an adult. I won't get home from work until 7:30/8ish on Valentine's Day and I usually cook so DH is making dinner and I'm making dessert in advance: dark chocolate custard & salted caramel custard. It's heavenly.
@kmwills I suppose Internet tone is difficult to convey it just read a little snarky. Edit: also people are posting on the sex announcement at the top and I went to look and didn't see yours so.. what is baby??
@oriole2017 ... milk chocolate is.. just amazing. Like.. do you need to go get those taste buds looked at?? although this pregnancy chocolate isn't doing anything for me.
@Nxy Thanks, I get that, especially when there's a difference of opinion. One tends to read through their own lens. I tried to make it not sound snarky, but I guess it didn't work so well. Thanks for talking it through!
And @oriole2017 , I'm gonna need to agree to disagree again, because the choc/pb combo is the nectar of the gods!
@Nxy It's a boy! Thanks for asking. I was looking to update the poll...which is how I ended up in that post, because I didn't realize the poll was in a separate post at first.
@kmwills it's a little funny that the poll/post confusion got you because I think that's why (some) people were against having both and having both pinned lol. (For the record I had no strong feelings either way about the poll ) But yay for a boy!!! Our last appointment doc guessed boy and is going to confirm March 2nd and I'm so anxious to know for sure. I wasn't this bad with DD I think it's all this free time I spend not sleeping at night..
@Nxy. Lol! I think my confusion on that just made my frustrations all the more. Glad to know I wasn't the only one!
The waiting is so hard. I thought for sure this was a girl, but the genetic testing said boy! I hope the next few weeks go by fast for you. And I should probably post on the announcement thread too, just to make sure I have everything covered!
@kmwills I didn't take it "personally" at all. Am I member of Aug, yep, but I'm not some SS who thinks this is only "my" BMB. Why would I have any reason for thinking you weren't talking about Aug when as @Nxy pointed out, you had just commented on a post that looked like pot stirring with the same general context?
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I know, guys! Haha. I dislike a lot of commonly liked foods but also like a lot of unpopular ones like olives, coconut, mushrooms and raw tomatoes. I have these super taste buds too apparently that make me dislike things like broccoli and cabbages. My favorite dark chocolate salted caramels are made by Frans. If you haven't tried them yet you need to! I guess I'm a purist when it comes to chocolate I think milk chocolate is just too sweet.
@kmwills I agree. I know its gonna get a lot of flak, but I share that UO. Unless you are one of the 3 or 4 people who kind of started this board and you are well versed in its constitution (all those rules on top of the page) you'll get beaten down and shamed for making one wrong move, starting your own post about something you are legitimately upset, scared, happy, or excited about. We are all great moms going through this pregnancy trying to have a kind of support network!
@chayamosko on this board?? Have you lurked elsewhere?? Ya'll need thicker Internet skin sh!ts getting old. I've seen people gently steer people to the correct threads but otherwise flames around here have been kept on a low, low simmer. I can't tell you how many times I've typed some snarky stuff just to go back and change my tone because I know it wouldn't go over well here. I've never been in a less snarky Internet group especially on the bump. If you can't handle the "heat" here I'd suggest finding a pen pal or something a little more mellow.
@Nxy, I get it but why the need for drama and "heat," there is enough of that going around, we don't need to make the world a harsher place than it already is. Are you saying that being civil, kind, and understanding is a trait of the past because too many people nowadays feel free to shoot their tongues off at everything everywhere else? The fact that being unkind is "accepted" everywhere else does not give anyone a license to do so wherever and whenever they want. Choose the person you want to be and the environment you want to create. In a place dedicated to the support of the most amazing, life-giving force in the world, I say being kind and accepting is exactly the kind of environment we need and leave the snarkiness to other forums.
@Nxy, I get it but why the need for drama and "heat," there is enough of that going around, we don't need to make the world a harsher place than it already is. Are you saying that being civil, kind, and understanding is a trait of the past because too many people nowadays feel free to shoot their tongues off at everything everywhere else? The fact that being unkind is "accepted" everywhere else does not give anyone a license to do so wherever and whenever they want. Choose the person you want to be and the environment you want to create. In a place dedicated to the support of the most amazing, life-giving force in the world, I say being kind and accepting is exactly the kind of environment we need and leave the snarkiness to other forums.
I had to get on my laptop. Did you read anywhere in my post that being kind is a thing of the past? I am a nice person. I don't have patience (in real life or on here) for people that expect to be held up and supported while giving no support at all. 99% of the people who post "incorrectly" on here are people who stumbled on the board and decided to just use us to answer the questions they should be asking their doctor. My opinion is that if you think this board has too much drama or "unkindness" you should spend more time here and see how supportive it is especially compared to other boards. I've never ever, been on a board with more kind supportive women. I don't think the request to *try* and keep the board a little organized is unfounded. I don't think it's an unfair expectation that people who want to post here should try and follow the guidelines that have formed in the several weeks that we've been supporting each other. I don't think it's fair that people fly through here and treat us as google.
@Nxy ok I hear where you are coming from. You are right, it is a pretty nice board. I have to say I haven't lurked on other boards, but from what I can recall, my Dec15 board was also pretty nice. The only thing I was talking about was the fact that newcomers often come and post something, usually just because they are excited or nervous, and they are immediately shot down for not listening to one of the numerous, detailed rules. Rules that are, mind you, not made up by the bump administration, but by mothers just like them who happened to take charge our get here first. Again, I'm not trying to say anything other than: just let that poor, excited/nervous/curious woman live.
@chayamosko I have to say that I disagree. I received a lot of support on this board, particularly in the days before and after my loss, because I gave support to others. I have a very soft spot in my heart for everyone still here (I get beckoned back with Ultrasound alerts and when people post to the Clothing and Accessories board) and I don't think it's a lot to ask for people to participate in a meaningful way.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
Sorry guys.. been MIA for a while.. went abroad and couldnt bump. @Nxy preeeach mama! @chayamosko while i like you from what ive read up till now, I gotta admit I'm very confused. This is the internet - I seriously have never been on a gentler, less snarky forum. I was on Jan16 with dd and lurked plenty on dec15, trust me there were faaaaarr b*itchier ladies just waiting to attack some poor hapless soul who breathed in the wrong direction.. very amusing to watch. I'm sure you saw that and realize that this is a tame and happy clappy group in comparison. There is no 'constitution', as with any social setting there are basic guidelines and its annoying if someone prances in and ignores that, that's all.
Re: UO 2/9
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
DS: 10/11/14
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
DS: 10/11/14
My UO, since you all loved my last one about peanut butter...hehe... I don't like milk chocolate either. I certainly don't like the pb/choc combo! BTW, I do love dark chocolate. I just prefer it with salted caramel.
Or I guess, how about I love olives, in every kind there is. Trying to keep the MB discussion light and fun!
Also I was totally cool with your UO agree to disagree and all that but then I saw that you commented on a weeks old post about the sex poll seemingly just trying to stir the pot. Why? Seems odd.
DS: 10/11/14
@oriole2017 Reese's are my absolute favorites (some childhood nostalgia entwined in that opinion) so I disgree...but dark chocolate/salted caramel is my favorite combo as an adult. I won't get home from work until 7:30/8ish on Valentine's Day and I usually cook so DH is making dinner and I'm making dessert in advance: dark chocolate custard & salted caramel custard. It's heavenly.
@oriole2017 ... milk chocolate is.. just amazing. Like.. do you need to go get those taste buds looked at??
And @oriole2017 , I'm gonna need to agree to disagree again, because the choc/pb combo is the nectar of the gods!
DS: 10/11/14
DS: 10/11/14
But yay for a boy!!! Our last appointment doc guessed boy and is going to confirm March 2nd and I'm so anxious to know for sure. I wasn't this bad with DD I think it's all this free time I spend not sleeping at night..
The waiting is so hard. I thought for sure this was a girl, but the genetic testing said boy! I hope the next few weeks go by fast for you.
DS: 10/11/14
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
My favorite dark chocolate salted caramels are made by Frans. If you haven't tried them yet you need to! I guess I'm a purist when it comes to chocolate
I've seen people gently steer people to the correct threads but otherwise flames around here have been kept on a low, low simmer. I can't tell you how many times I've typed some snarky stuff just to go back and change my tone because I know it wouldn't go over well here. I've never been in a less snarky Internet group especially on the bump. If you can't handle the "heat" here I'd suggest finding a pen pal or something a little more mellow.
@chayamosko YES! Everything that @Nxy just said! Please go lurk any other BMB we have by far the most random posts and the least amount of snark!!!!
Did you read anywhere in my post that being kind is a thing of the past? I am a nice person. I don't have patience (in real life or on here) for people that expect to be held up and supported while giving no support at all. 99% of the people who post "incorrectly" on here are people who stumbled on the board and decided to just use us to answer the questions they should be asking their doctor.
My opinion is that if you think this board has too much drama or "unkindness" you should spend more time here and see how supportive it is especially compared to other boards. I've never ever, been on a board with more kind supportive women. I don't think the request to *try* and keep the board a little organized is unfounded. I don't think it's an unfair expectation that people who want to post here should try and follow the guidelines that have formed in the several weeks that we've been supporting each other. I don't think it's fair that people fly through here and treat us as google.
Again, I'm not trying to say anything other than: just let that poor, excited/nervous/curious woman live.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility