@neludelu and @tjvan. Scary stories are the exception, not the rule. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth if labor and delivery makes you nervous. It has a ton of inspiring stories.
Guys, have any of you actually looked up stats? It's great to share experiences, and I'm not judging the people who are, but threads like this always attract the horror stories. Yes, some women have horrible tearing, but the vast majority do not. Please don't base your decision on how to give birth solely on a few anecdotal stories about bad tearing.
Based on a study, 5.9% of women who had a vaginal birth in the UK experienced 3rd and 4th degree tearing. I couldn't find much for the US but most of what I did find seemed to show a lower rate.
This older paper indicates the rate for all sorts of complications is higher if you have a c-section, such as needing to be readmitted to the hospital, feeling pain afterward and hemorrhage as well as increased risks of complications to the baby.
I would never have a c-section unless it was medically necessary. A c-section is major surgery. I do not understand why anyone would choose major surgery over a considerably less invasive method that works better (assuming there are no medical reasons for a c-section.)
I've had three C-sections. The first one I went camping after being released from the hospital (I was a surrogate so I didn't have a newborn to worry about). The other two I was up and out of the house, even flying with baby to an air show, within a week. I am also usually pain free enough to start running at 4 or 5 weeks. So for me, a C-section recovery has been super easy. I don't have any experience with tearing since I've not had a vaginal delivery. I think emotionally I would have been better with a vaginal delivery, but I don't know that I would've done better physically.
For FTMs that find this thread frightening.. I just want to mention that not every vaginal birth has traumatic tearing. I am very sorry for those that did and do not mean to diminish their story so I hope it doesnt come off like that just want to mention an alternate experience so you arent all scared. I pushed for an hour, my midwife applied counter pressure and used oil to help stretching, and I did not tear at all. I was up walking around right away and probably TMI but the first bm after I didnt notice a thing.
What everyone is saying. I have 12 nieces and nephews who were all born vaginally. Three to a SIL who is less than 5 feet and model tiny who had massive children. The most stitches any of them had was 5. Massive tearing is not the norm and definitely not something to worry about ahead of time. Like I mentioned with mine, it was a freak case and obviously even with that, it wasn't so bad that I did not want more kids. Believe me. ladies, you are much tougher than you could ever imagine.
I've had 2nd degree tears with both births. Both recoveries were fine (my damn hemorrhoids were worse!). My kids were bigger too (9lb and 8lb 11oz) and with the epidural I didn't feel the tearing. I will take that any day over major surgery which a c section is.
@kahlan82, you're the first person I've heard mention the sex life issue. I swear I can feel my scar/scar tissue during sex, but I didn't know this was a real thing. I had 2nd degree tearing and stitches, but I had an epidural so no pain and no other recovery issues.
My OB-GYN said it should get better over time but that was three years ago. It's just nonstretchy and feels like it gets raw. I am so not a fan. I am interested (well worried) that tearing again is going to make it worse.
I have this too. It was way bad the first year. Now it's just kind of annoying sometimes. I have noticed it's almost normal again, just in time to get messed up again. Dd is almost 4.
Well, hopefully baby girl won't completely wreck it down there and it will all feel normal in a few years. Maybe she will tear it and fix it. Is that a thing? It really should be.
Me: 34 DH: 35 Married: July 2009 BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013 Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016 3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3 First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17
I just wanted to add, for the ftm reading. I've had 2 vaginal births and both around 20 min of pushing. No tears at all. My Drs have always been awesome at doing perinatal message while I'm pushing. Out of all my friends I only know of one who needed more then just a couple stitches. Remember our bodies are made for this. Not saying it can't happen but don't let a few stories scare you.
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
I've not had a vaginal birth, but from everything I've read, if your doctor performs an episiotomy you are more likely to tear. If I have a VBAC I will fight to not have an episiotomy unless there is an emergency.
My C Section recovery was awful. I healed okay and didn't have any significant blood loss, but I did the section shuffle for weeks. Another thing to keep in mind if you're planning to breastfeed, the contractions you have while nursing are so, so painful after a section.
As a csection mom do not let the vaginal delivery stories scare you. I heard stories that scared the crap out of me, but I was determined to have a vaginal birth anyway and just tried to be as prepared as possible. The day before my due date I was told I needed a csection. There are scary stories about csections too. My csection recovery was quite uneventful, aside from some scary pain the second night, I was good to go.
I will be having another csection and the worries are still there. Just try to focus on your delivery, baby and recovery without all of the outside noise.
@neludelu and @tjvan. Scary stories are the exception, not the rule. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth if labor and delivery makes you nervous. It has a ton of inspiring stories.
I wasn't expecting to find the golden rule in this thread. I simply wanted to hear the experiences of people who had both.
I think it's important to discuss your concerns and options based on your current pregnancy with your OB as you reach your due date. I think that it is important to research the different options you may be presented with for birth, forceps, vacuum assist, episiotomy, c section and how they are used at your hospital/birth center. So you can be fully aware of the risks/benefits of everything you may be presented with. I didn't with my DD and it was scary to have to make choices in the moment. other people birth stories while they can be interesting to hear mean very little in terms of what choices you should make.
For FTMs that find this thread frightening.. I just want to mention that not every vaginal birth has traumatic tearing. I am very sorry for those that did and do not mean to diminish their story so I hope it doesnt come off like that just want to mention an alternate experience so you arent all scared. I pushed for an hour, my midwife applied counter pressure and used oil to help stretching, and I did not tear at all. I was up walking around right away and probably TMI but the first bm after I didnt notice a thing.
I forgot to mention this. There are lots of things that can help with reducing tearing. Don't have an episiotomy, have a water birth, perineal massage both in the weeks before and during labor. Plenty of other things too if you look it up.
I've not had a vaginal birth, but from everything I've read, if your doctor performs an episiotomy you are more likely to tear. If I have a VBAC I will fight to not have an episiotomy unless there is an emergency.
My C Section recovery was awful. I healed okay and didn't have any significant blood loss, but I did the section shuffle for weeks. Another thing to keep in mind if you're planning to breastfeed, the contractions you have while nursing are so, so painful after a section.
This is true and there's research out there to back it up. Episiotomies used to be routine, but they're going the way of blood letting now.
@neludelu I think @JessyKV was sending you some comfort. Although you're saying you just want experiences, your posts in this thread appear to be very concerned with the stories specific to tearing during a vaginal delivery ("this is exactly what I'm terrified of"). Meaning, these stories are scaring you.
You said yourself that you know and understand that a vastly small amount of vaginal birth tearing stories mean nothing towards what may potentially happen in your birth. I think you would be relieved at the reassurance from JessyKV that indeed, those intense vaginal birth stories are the exception.
I had a positive c section experience with DS, but not a positive recovery. I'm VBAC-ing this baby out of me until the OB has me on the table and I have to cry uncle (praying that doesn't happen). Edit it to add: That's dramatic of me, and I'm prepared for whatever birth I'm given...I'm not that crazy. Make whatever decision is best for you...but I wouldn't advise anyone to make their birth decision off of anyone else's experience (vaginal or c section).
If I went off of my own birth story with DS you couldn't pay me to be pregnant again. But each experience can be incredibly different, so I encourage you to remember that. I can't obsess on the fear from DS pregnancy to gauge whether or not this one will be good...I have to trust my decisions and know my body is going to do whatever it needs to.
I had a scheduled c/s due to breech positioning with my first and must say, it was a much easier recovery than I had expected. It wasn't EASY by any means. I needed help to the bathroom for three days, I nearly passed out standing at the sink on day #2, and I relied on my belly binder for weeks to offer more support. I'm hoping for a vbac this time, mainly because I'd much rather not have the lifting and stair limitations with a three year old at home. But, if I need a c/s, I am confident I'll get thru the worst again ok.
More than tearing, the first poop scares me more than anything.
I had a 4th degree tear following an episiotomy with DD and I agree the stitches took longer and were more painful than the birth itself. 2 hours of stitching without an epidural. The numbing injections also don't work on the deep muscle that was being repaired so I felt EVERYTHING! Looking at this second birth I am still more terrified of a c/s and am planning another natural delivery. Through some research I have learned of two major factors that I believe led to that kind of injury. The first was that DD was flipped and as she came out she turned sideways and was shoulders wide. The second and most harmful part in my view was the fact that I delivered laying on my back in the bed. The whole time I wanted to be squatting and upright because I felt like I had more control but struggled because I am very tall and the bar they attach to the bed was too short for me to brace on to get my feet under me. The nurses and doctor kept wanting me on my back (this makes their job easier being able to see and have better access to what's going on) so it put all of the pressure on my perenium. I believe if I can find a way to stay out of the bed and off my back this time my chances of tearing will be greatly reduced. I'm taking some intense natural birthing classes to hopefully prepare me with alternative positions and options. I agree that every labor is going to be different and you can't go into it with expectations. In the moment I had no clue that I had torn because I was so focused on pushing and having my baby in my arms that I didn't feel it. The recovery was about 6-8 weeks but it's such a small time in my life that I know I'll remember the feeling of delivering my baby forever. My mom never had the option and I know she wishes she could have had at least one vaginal delivery.
LAMCH1980 I had a lot of tearing with my first and needed 74 stitches. My doctor keeps saying it was a fluke and wants me to do a vaginal birth again, but I am terrified because I know I have a lot of internal raised scar tissue from that delivery. If you don't mind, did your OB suggest the c-section, did it just happen due to circumstances, or did you ask due to your first experience? I am not sure if I should push more for a c-section or if I am just being a Nervous Nelly
74 stitches? Please, please tell me this is a typo.
Married 7/11/09 TTC #1 Since 05/10 BFP #1 09/20/10 Natural m/c 10/05/10 BFP! #2 04/21/11... Beta 16 DPO: 437, 18 DPO:1446 Ultrasound 6w6d TWINS! Annabel & Sophia Born 11/28/11 at 34w6d BFP #3 10/4/16... Beta 13 DPO: 145, 15 DPO: 367 12/1/16 It's a GIRL!
Waiting4Fred You know how they charge you for everything at the hospital? When my doctor reported he used 4 twenty packs of stitches for a total of 74 the nurse asked him three times to repeat himself hoping she heard him wrong.
LAMCH1980 I had a lot of tearing with my first and needed 74 stitches. My doctor keeps saying it was a fluke and wants me to do a vaginal birth again, but I am terrified because I know I have a lot of internal raised scar tissue from that delivery. If you don't mind, did your OB suggest the c-section, did it just happen due to circumstances, or did you ask due to your first experience? I am not sure if I should push more for a c-section or if I am just being a Nervous Nelly
74 stitches? Please, please tell me this is a typo.
I'm too lazy to scroll back up but to the ladies that tore and now have discomfort/odd pulling sensation at the tear site with sex: how far apart will your babies be? Did you breasftfeed and get pregnant?
I ask because I had the need for major foreplay and slow warm up to get past the discomfort and I brought it up to my OB. My OB told me as soon as I stopped breastfeeding it would get better because the hormones in my body affected it. Sure enough, I weaned, and it went away. It was so bizarre but now it's like before.
I'm too lazy to scroll back up but to the ladies that tore and now have discomfort/odd pulling sensation at the tear site with sex: how far apart will your babies be? Did you breasftfeed and get pregnant?
I ask because I had the need for major foreplay and slow warm up to get past the discomfort and I brought it up to my OB. My OB told me as soon as I stopped breastfeeding it would get better because the hormones in my body affected it. Sure enough, I weaned, and it went away. It was so bizarre but now it's like before.
Yeah that's what I was thinking too. I weaned dd last January, but my milk kind of stuck around for a bit. By summer it seemed back to normal, but then you know I got pregnant again. Even though my cycle was back im pretty sure my body was like, nope your not ready yet. Lol
@neludelu and @tjvan. Scary stories are the exception, not the rule. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth if labor and delivery makes you nervous. It has a ton of inspiring stories.
Seriously thanks for this suggestion. I've been reading it all weekend and already feeling better about the birthing process. I had been avoiding thinking too much about actual labor because the thought was terrifying. While some of the stories are a little over the top for me, overall I'm very inspired!
I had to have 4 units/transfusions while in postpartum recovery (usually max is 3 unless doctor/testing dictates more... my PP nurse had to argue with the blood bank to get the 4th). I had a seizure-like episode when I was sat up by the LC in my hospital bed, which was the first time I had sat up since surgery.
The LC held the baby against my body and my head back while she called for DH to get the baby, and DH yelled for my BIL to pull the emergency cord in my room's bathroom where he went to give me some privacy with the LC.
Having to get tests for diseases due to having transfusions is so stressful... you needed the blood but you also sign your life away by accepting the risks of HIV, Hep C, etc. the list is actually quite extensive.
It is major abdominal surgery, no joke. I had an easy recovery muscle wise and movement, but my first 12 hours was rough. As much as I wouldn't want to endure reconstructive surgery from severe tearing... I would say that is less likely to occur vs. a C-section is always surgery.
The midwife who delivered DD applied counter pressure and massaged with olive oil. I did tear, but it was too small for even one stitch, and I probably could have avoided that, if I'd relaxed and given my body a chance to stretch a bit more. Instead, I decided that I wanted the baby out, and pushed even though I wasn't contacting. I could sit fine the following day.
Oh, and on a happy note, sex got waaaay better after my vaginal delivery. I know it's not the same for everyone, but maybe you will be one of the lucky ones.
I was glad to read other people so experiencecand choice/decision on their next delivery.
I had an episiotomy diagnally to prevent tearing because we knew his head was large and having trouble once he was already in the birth canal. His shoulders were the next stuck, the nurse had to help push my stomach to freebie his shoulder.
I still tore straight down, through to my butthole and tore the sphincter muscles in my anus. I had to have a surgeon come in and assist with the repair and hadn't several layer so if I internal/external stitches.
in the moment, recover the wasn't that bad. I was driving 1 week later, doing normal daily stuff. I just couldn't sit normally, 8-10 stool softeners a day so there wasn't any pain. 8 weeks PP there were still a lot of stitches left and I wasn't cleared for sex.
My Frankengina is very sensitive still and will crack slightly if I squat wrong or during sex. I was told by my last OBgyn CSection only from then on out but because if I tear my sphincter again, I'm at risk of a poop bag for life. my new obgyn said they'll make intuit the same use by better and recommend around 36/37 weeks what to do.
I had a vaginal delivery with DS and barely tore, only needed one stitch that my midwife debated even doing. He was a premie but still big (almost 6lbs at 34 weeks). I think pushing for 1.5hrs and pausing while he crowned to let things stretch plus my midwife allowing pressure and massage helped a lot. I was walking to and from the NICU within a few hours.
Re: Tearing vs. CSection
Based on a study, 5.9% of women who had a vaginal birth in the UK experienced 3rd and 4th degree tearing. I couldn't find much for the US but most of what I did find seemed to show a lower rate.
This older paper indicates the rate for all sorts of complications is higher if you have a c-section, such as needing to be readmitted to the hospital, feeling pain afterward and hemorrhage as well as increased risks of complications to the baby.
I would never have a c-section unless it was medically necessary. A c-section is major surgery. I do not understand why anyone would choose major surgery over a considerably less invasive method that works better (assuming there are no medical reasons for a c-section.)
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: July 2009
BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013
Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016
3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3
First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
My C Section recovery was awful. I healed okay and didn't have any significant blood loss, but I did the section shuffle for weeks. Another thing to keep in mind if you're planning to breastfeed, the contractions you have while nursing are so, so painful after a section.
I will be having another csection and the worries are still there. Just try to focus on your delivery, baby and recovery without all of the outside noise.
~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~
5/9/09
Here We Go Again!!
Due June 25 2017
This is true and there's research out there to back it up. Episiotomies used to be routine, but they're going the way of blood letting now.
https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/721538
You said yourself that you know and understand that a vastly small amount of vaginal birth tearing stories mean nothing towards what may potentially happen in your birth. I think you would be relieved at the reassurance from JessyKV that indeed, those intense vaginal birth stories are the exception.
I had a positive c section experience with DS, but not a positive recovery. I'm VBAC-ing this baby out of me until the OB has me on the table and I have to cry uncle (praying that doesn't happen).
Edit it to add: That's dramatic of me, and I'm prepared for whatever birth I'm given...I'm not that crazy.
Make whatever decision is best for you...but I wouldn't advise anyone to make their birth decision off of anyone else's experience (vaginal or c section).
If I went off of my own birth story with DS you couldn't pay me to be pregnant again. But each experience can be incredibly different, so I encourage you to remember that. I can't obsess on the fear from DS pregnancy to gauge whether or not this one will be good...I have to trust my decisions and know my body is going to do whatever it needs to.
I hope all my blabbering makes sense.
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
More than tearing, the first poop scares me more than anything.
Through some research I have learned of two major factors that I believe led to that kind of injury. The first was that DD was flipped and as she came out she turned sideways and was shoulders wide. The second and most harmful part in my view was the fact that I delivered laying on my back in the bed. The whole time I wanted to be squatting and upright because I felt like I had more control but struggled because I am very tall and the bar they attach to the bed was too short for me to brace on to get my feet under me. The nurses and doctor kept wanting me on my back (this makes their job easier being able to see and have better access to what's going on) so it put all of the pressure on my perenium.
I believe if I can find a way to stay out of the bed and off my back this time my chances of tearing will be greatly reduced. I'm taking some intense natural birthing classes to hopefully prepare me with alternative positions and options.
I agree that every labor is going to be different and you can't go into it with expectations. In the moment I had no clue that I had torn because I was so focused on pushing and having my baby in my arms that I didn't feel it. The recovery was about 6-8 weeks but it's such a small time in my life that I know I'll remember the feeling of delivering my baby forever. My mom never had the option and I know she wishes she could have had at least one vaginal delivery.
Married 7/11/09 TTC #1 Since 05/10
BFP #1 09/20/10 Natural m/c 10/05/10
BFP! #2 04/21/11... Beta 16 DPO: 437, 18 DPO:1446 Ultrasound 6w6d TWINS!
Annabel & Sophia Born 11/28/11 at 34w6d
BFP #3 10/4/16... Beta 13 DPO: 145, 15 DPO: 367 12/1/16 It's a GIRL!
I ask because I had the need for major foreplay and slow warm up to get past the discomfort and I brought it up to my OB. My OB told me as soon as I stopped breastfeeding it would get better because the hormones in my body affected it. Sure enough, I weaned, and it went away. It was so bizarre but now it's like before.
I had to have 4 units/transfusions while in postpartum recovery (usually max is 3 unless doctor/testing dictates more... my PP nurse had to argue with the blood bank to get the 4th). I had a seizure-like episode when I was sat up by the LC in my hospital bed, which was the first time I had sat up since surgery.
The LC held the baby against my body and my head back while she called for DH to get the baby, and DH yelled for my BIL to pull the emergency cord in my room's bathroom where he went to give me some privacy with the LC.
Having to get tests for diseases due to having transfusions is so stressful... you needed the blood but you also sign your life away by accepting the risks of HIV, Hep C, etc. the list is actually quite extensive.
It is major abdominal surgery, no joke. I had an easy recovery muscle wise and movement, but my first 12 hours was rough. As much as I wouldn't want to endure reconstructive surgery from severe tearing... I would say that is less likely to occur vs. a C-section is always surgery.
The midwife who delivered DD applied counter pressure and massaged with olive oil. I did tear, but it was too small for even one stitch, and I probably could have avoided that, if I'd relaxed and given my body a chance to stretch a bit more. Instead, I decided that I wanted the baby out, and pushed even though I wasn't contacting. I could sit fine the following day.
Oh, and on a happy note, sex got waaaay better after my vaginal delivery. I know it's not the same for everyone, but maybe you will be one of the lucky ones.
I had an episiotomy diagnally to prevent tearing because we knew his head was large and having trouble once he was already in the birth canal. His shoulders were the next stuck, the nurse had to help push my stomach to freebie his shoulder.
I still tore straight down, through to my butthole and tore the sphincter muscles in my anus. I had to have a surgeon come in and assist with the repair and hadn't several layer so if I internal/external stitches.
in the moment, recover the wasn't that bad. I was driving 1 week later, doing normal daily stuff. I just couldn't sit normally, 8-10 stool softeners a day so there wasn't any pain. 8 weeks PP there were still a lot of stitches left and I wasn't cleared for sex.
My Frankengina is very sensitive still and will crack slightly if I squat wrong or during sex. I was told by my last OBgyn CSection only from then on out but because if I tear my sphincter again, I'm at risk of a poop bag for life. my new obgyn said they'll make intuit the same use by better and recommend around 36/37 weeks what to do.