I wasnt taking anything on and I certainly wasn't PC policing anyone- to make an accusation like that is simply misplaced. I made a one line comment to the OP that there is a difference because I didnt think she was aware there was one( as I said its one of the things I learned on my last go around) I moved on and answered her question-Thats not policing. She was at least astute enough to realise that while it may not be offensive to HER it could be to others so she edited the post and I thanked her for it- My PC trend comment was in direct response to you and your comment of " latest PC definition" comment. I do not speak nor was I speaking to the trans community, merely using it as an example. You sure are coming across as having a hard on for a fight but there isn't one here. If you wish to continue this feel free to PM me.
I wasnt taking anything on and I certainly wasn't PC policing anyone- to make an accusation like that is simply misplaced. I made a one line comment to the OP that there is a difference because I didnt think she was aware there was one( as I said its one of the things I learned on my last go around) I moved on and answered her question-Thats not policing. She was at least astute enough to realise that while it may not be offensive to HER it could be to others so she edited the post and I thanked her for it- My PC trend comment was in direct response to you and your comment of " latest PC definition" comment. I do not speak nor was I speaking to the trans community, merely using it as an example. You sure are coming across as having a hard on for a fight but there isn't one here. If you wish to continue this feel free to PM me.
Way to bow out. No worries, I see what you did here. It's just really annoying to continue to see PC police like you with not a leg to stand on and no real reason to "correct". You sure seemed to jump in and defend the transgender community, then nicely step out.
FTR, I never used the statement "latest PC definition".
I see that a lot of people have suggested the 20 week u/s as a compromise, but I don't think that there really is a compromise between finding out and not finding out. It's like trying to compromise between having kids and not having kids. One of you is ultimately going to lose. That is, unless your H is actually able to keep it a secret. If so, I say let him find out on the condition that he not tell anyone (you included).
If if he can't keep a secret, then one of you is going to have to cave. Personally, I'm dying to know, so I'd be pushing DH hard if he didn't agree with me. Fortunately, he does. Your H is probably going to push you pretty hard too. You might consider how badly you want the surprise and if doing the surprise some other way, like at the 20 week u/s, would be enough to satisfy that desire.
Oh FFS. I said I dont speak for the Trans community- because I dont. I made one line about a difference between words- if you want to throw me in the fire for it and call me PC Police (lol) you're welcome to do so- but this is getting pretty old now, Im not going to run in circles with you and keep this going so here is where I really do bow out- you strike me as a gal who likes the last word so feel free to take it. Like I said- not my hill to die on.
oh and I do apologise for the PC line, I mixed up quotes.
I agree with @bridge-and-wall that finding out at 20 weeks is still finding out.
If you don't like the reveal party idea, what if DH found out, and he surprised you? He could go buy a few cute things and give it to you as a gift, or take you shopping at a baby store and steer you to the right section? That way you would still get DH being the one to tell you the gender, rather than just finding out at the US.
I know would still be giving in... it's just the only other thing I could think of.
I wasnt taking anything on and I certainly wasn't PC policing anyone- to make an accusation like that is simply misplaced. I made a one line comment to the OP that there is a difference because I didnt think she was aware there was one( as I said its one of the things I learned on my last go around) I moved on and answered her question-Thats not policing. She was at least astute enough to realise that while it may not be offensive to HER it could be to others so she edited the post and I thanked her for it- My PC trend comment was in direct response to you and your comment of " latest PC definition" comment. I do not speak nor was I speaking to the trans community, merely using it as an example. You sure are coming across as having a hard on for a fight but there isn't one here. If you wish to continue this feel free to PM me.
Way to bow out. No worries, I see what you did here. It's just really annoying to continue to see PC police like you with not a leg to stand on and no real reason to "correct". You sure seemed to jump in and defend the transgender community, then nicely step out.
FTR, I never used the statement "latest PC definition".
@sprite2012 What's the harm in using the correct terminology? I just don't understand why you would push so hard to keep using incorrect terms. It's not politically correct, it's just correct. Sex and gender are not the same thing and there is a subset of our population that care deeply for the correct use of words. Why purposely be an ass to that subset just because it doesn't immediately pertain to you?
Im not responding to anything further about this. You're clearly just looking to argue.
OMG @HollyGolightly09 -that is literally the best idea ever. Why am I not married to YOU? ;-) I am actually gonna suggest that for hubs and see what he says!!!
I love that idea @HollyGolightly09! I think that is a sweet and thoughtful potential compromise for them! I would also be dying to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl, but I also understand those that choose to wait.
And oh my... quite the backlash on here over an innocent comment from the OP.
Gender is a commonly used term and is a dictionary synonym of the word sex. People don't typically throw "sex reveal" parties. They throw "gender reveal" parties.
I am happy to see the growing number of people becoming more aware of the struggles of the transgender community, but this post was so innocent and don't think it deserved the backlash that it received. I sincerely dont believe OP meant any harm at all in her title or post.
I wasnt taking anything on and I certainly wasn't PC policing anyone- to make an accusation like that is simply misplaced. I made a one line comment to the OP that there is a difference because I didnt think she was aware there was one( as I said its one of the things I learned on my last go around) I moved on and answered her question-Thats not policing. She was at least astute enough to realise that while it may not be offensive to HER it could be to others so she edited the post and I thanked her for it- My PC trend comment was in direct response to you and your comment of " latest PC definition" comment. I do not speak nor was I speaking to the trans community, merely using it as an example. You sure are coming across as having a hard on for a fight but there isn't one here. If you wish to continue this feel free to PM me.
Way to bow out. No worries, I see what you did here. It's just really annoying to continue to see PC police like you with not a leg to stand on and no real reason to "correct". You sure seemed to jump in and defend the transgender community, then nicely step out.
FTR, I never used the statement "latest PC definition".
@sprite2012 What's the harm in using the correct terminology? I just don't understand why you would push so hard to keep using incorrect terms. It's not politically correct, it's just correct. Sex and gender are not the same thing and there is a subset of our population that care deeply for the correct use of words. Why purposely be an ass to that subset just because it doesn't immediately pertain to you?
Im not responding to anything further about this. You're clearly just looking to argue.
Lol. Does it "immediately pertain to you" though?
I'm done "arguing". Since I didn't actually start it, know I'm not the only one rolling my eyes (thanks all for the PMs), I think my point was made. Chao.
@Msashley2010 I was reading this whole thing thinking the exact thing you just said .... we don't call these parties Sex Parties, we call them gender reveal parties.
I'm also kind of wondering why the OP is being given such a hard time for saying "gender" when clearly at least 10 other people have use the word "gender" when they say "gender reveal party"
Anyway, snowflakes, everything is going to be okay. Time to stop internetting for today though.
A friend of mine had this same issue with her husband. There compromise was they didn't find out for their first but did for their second. This only works if you plan to have another though but I love the husband surprising you with a gift idea!
Re: When to find out.....
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
FTR, I never used the statement "latest PC definition".
If if he can't keep a secret, then one of you is going to have to cave. Personally, I'm dying to know, so I'd be pushing DH hard if he didn't agree with me. Fortunately, he does. Your H is probably going to push you pretty hard too. You might consider how badly you want the surprise and if doing the surprise some other way, like at the 20 week u/s, would be enough to satisfy that desire.
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Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
oh and I do apologise for the PC line, I mixed up quotes.
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
If you don't like the reveal party idea, what if DH found out, and he surprised you? He could go buy a few cute things and give it to you as a gift, or take you shopping at a baby store and steer you to the right section? That way you would still get DH being the one to tell you the gender, rather than just finding out at the US.
I know would still be giving in... it's just the only other thing I could think of.
Im not responding to anything further about this. You're clearly just looking to argue.
Gender is a commonly used term and is a dictionary synonym of the word sex. People don't typically throw "sex reveal" parties. They throw "gender reveal" parties.
I am happy to see the growing number of people becoming more aware of the struggles of the transgender community, but this post was so innocent and don't think it deserved the backlash that it received. I sincerely dont believe OP meant any harm at all in her title or post.
I'm done "arguing". Since I didn't actually start it, know I'm not the only one rolling my eyes (thanks all for the PMs), I think my point was made. Chao.
I'm also kind of wondering why the OP is being given such a hard time for saying "gender" when clearly at least 10 other people have use the word "gender" when they say "gender reveal party"
Anyway, snowflakes, everything is going to be okay. Time to stop internetting for today though.
Me: 31 DH: 36
Married since 11/25/2013
#1 (bio) born 01/18/2006
#2 (bio) born 09/08/2008
#3 (step) born 02/17/2009
#4 (our 1st together) EDD 09/09/2017
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
Sorry, I couldn't help it. My mom has a journal from a trip to Italy and the first half of the entries are signed off with "Chow." It cracks me up.
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17