I'm still leaning towards 1 and done. We talk about if we did have another one, when would we want to have it and if we do, it would have to be sooner rather than later since my husband already feels he is too old (he turns 38 in april). We aren't setting anything in stone but yea, think Damien might be it for us.
My husband is OLD. He's 43. I'm 36. Due to my severe PPD and anxiety, I'm deathly afraid of going through it all over again. I was such a hot mess after LO was born that the first 3-4 months, my husband took care of our LO the most. I just think I don't have what it takes to be a mom of a newborn. Plus, if I somehow did things right the second time around, it wouldn't be fair to my LO. I think I'd rather focus on LO at the moment and try to "catch up" where I failed.
I get sick of everyone saying it's so selfish to not want another one.
It's not selfish at all. I only wanted one before I was pregnant the first time, then I found out I was having twins. After the girls I decided I wanted to see what having a "routine normal" pregnancy was like so we have our son. I think if my first pregnancy was a singleton I definitely would have stopped there.
I'm still leaning towards 1 and done. We talk about if we did have another one, when would we want to have it and if we do, it would have to be sooner rather than later since my husband already feels he is too old (he turns 38 in april). We aren't setting anything in stone but yea, think Damien might be it for us.
My husband is OLD. He's 43. I'm 36. Due to my severe PPD and anxiety, I'm deathly afraid of going through it all over again. I was such a hot mess after LO was born that the first 3-4 months, my husband took care of our LO the most. I just think I don't have what it takes to be a mom of a newborn. Plus, if I somehow did things right the second time around, it wouldn't be fair to my LO. I think I'd rather focus on LO at the moment and try to "catch up" where I failed.
I get sick of everyone saying it's so selfish to not want another one.
^^exactly this! I get that too because we are 1,000 percent one and done. It's our choice to just have one. Here's how I respond: You're not the one whose going to be pregnant, deliver the baby and raise it into adulthood...so your opinion doesn't matter nor did I ask for it. Haha.
You know what's selfish? Having another baby you don't want, can't afford, aren't ready for, don't have time for, are too old to be pregnant with/deliver safely, etc.
You know what's selfish? Having another baby you don't want, can't afford, aren't ready for, don't have time for, are too old to be pregnant with/deliver safely, etc.
People are stupid.
AMEN!!! My sister in law is already pressuring my brother to have another baby and they can't even afford the one they just had (my poor brother works two jobs as it is and they can't afford daycare on that).
My hubs and I are 36. I wouldn't want to have another baby for at least 4 years, which would put me in my 40s. While I don't think it's too old, its old for me personally. I just don't want to be going through it all again in my 40s.
I so wish I could get KU, I would be past half way to another by now. I want(ed) a big family (4-5) but I'm so thankful for my one.
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16 July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?! 7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291 7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac 7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
I so wish I could get KU, I would be past half way to another by now. I want(ed) a big family (4-5) but I'm so thankful for my one.
Do you think you would adopt again in the future?
Yes. We would need to come up with the money though. It's so hard to think that far ahead at this point. I get very overwhelmed when I think about the money, the waiting, the possibilities of failure (birth mother changing her mind) and many other things. But, I do think we would/will adopt again if we are able.
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16 July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?! 7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291 7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac 7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
You know what's selfish? Having another baby you don't want, can't afford, aren't ready for, don't have time for, are too old to be pregnant with/deliver safely, etc.
People are stupid.
**lurking from S17***
I'm curious as to what you believe is "too old to be pregnant."
I'm an AMA mom...had my first at 41, had a heartbreaking loss last April and then spent the last 8 months TTC. I'm SO incredibly thankful to be on this journey again and while it wasn't my ideal to start my family this late...it's just how it went. I didn't get married until 38. I'll be 44 and my DH 37 when this rainbow baby is born (hopefully...praying for a sticky baby as I can't mentally go through trying again). Just had to pop in and say that if all else aligns...the desire for children, finances, mental preparedness, in good health etc...don't let age be your deciding factor!
You know what's selfish? Having another baby you don't want, can't afford, aren't ready for, don't have time for, are too old to be pregnant with/deliver safely, etc.
People are stupid.
**lurking from S17***
I'm curious as to what you believe is "too old to be pregnant."
I'm an AMA mom...had my first at 41, had a heartbreaking loss last April and then spent the last 8 months TTC. I'm SO incredibly thankful to be on this journey again and while it wasn't my ideal to start my family this late...it's just how it went. I didn't get married until 38. I'll be 44 and my DH 37 when this rainbow baby is born (hopefully...praying for a sticky baby as I can't mentally go through trying again). Just had to pop in and say that if all else aligns...the desire for children, finances, mental preparedness, in good health etc...don't let age be your deciding factor!
First, congrats on your rainbow baby!!!
To be honest, I don't know that there is a specific age at which you're too old. I think that the age you have a child is personal and different for everyone depending on their life circumstances. I also know that age alone doesnt dictate whether or not a pregnancy will be healthy. For example: a healthy, well monitored woman in her forties is more likely to have a healthy pregnancy than a woman in her twenties who is unhealthy and doesn't have good pre-natal care.
My point was mainly just to illustrate to the woman on here who are told that not having another baby is selfish, that whatever their reason to be "one and done" is completely legitimate. In fact, I think it's very brave to decide that you want either no children or only one child (for whatever reason) and stick with it.
There's definitely pressure on all of us to want lots of babies, and I really respect a woman who knows what she wants and doesn't give in to what she doesn't want just because she "should".
Additionally, I recognize now that out of context my comment comes off as very judgemental- and I didn't mean that at all. I think after a year and a half all of the women in my BMB probably got that, but apologize if I came off as a huge bitch to any lurkers
This is kind of crazy but I'm actually having second thoughts about my decision not to have another one. I'm still 75% sure I don't want another, but not 95% sure like I was before. I think I'm having crazy thoughts because it's finally gotten to a point where my baby is easy enough that I can actually conceive of having free time and/or a semi-normal life. But then one sleepless night and I think to myself, there's no way I can do another couple years of this, into my early 40s...
The other thing, if I'm being perfectly honest, is that I don't think my marriage will survive another one. We just both get stressed out and take it out on each other, etc...
Re: Another baby?
People are stupid.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
My sister in law is already pressuring my brother to have another baby and they can't even afford the one they just had (my poor brother works two jobs as it is and they can't afford daycare on that).
My hubs and I are 36. I wouldn't want to have another baby for at least 4 years, which would put me in my 40s. While I don't think it's too old, its old for me personally. I just don't want to be going through it all again in my 40s.
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
I'm curious as to what you believe is "too old to be pregnant."
I'm an AMA mom...had my first at 41, had a heartbreaking loss last April and then spent the last 8 months TTC. I'm SO incredibly thankful to be on this journey again and while it wasn't my ideal to start my family this late...it's just how it went. I didn't get married until 38. I'll be 44 and my DH 37 when this rainbow baby is born (hopefully...praying for a sticky baby as I can't mentally go through trying again).
Just had to pop in and say that if all else aligns...the desire for children, finances, mental preparedness, in good health etc...don't let age be your deciding factor!
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
To be honest, I don't know that there is a specific age at which you're too old. I think that the age you have a child is personal and different for everyone depending on their life circumstances. I also know that age alone doesnt dictate whether or not a pregnancy will be healthy. For example: a healthy, well monitored woman in her forties is more likely to have a healthy pregnancy than a woman in her twenties who is unhealthy and doesn't have good pre-natal care.
My point was mainly just to illustrate to the woman on here who are told that not having another baby is selfish, that whatever their reason to be "one and done" is completely legitimate. In fact, I think it's very brave to decide that you want either no children or only one child (for whatever reason) and stick with it.
There's definitely pressure on all of us to want lots of babies, and I really respect a woman who knows what she wants and doesn't give in to what she doesn't want just because she "should".
Additionally, I recognize now that out of context my comment comes off as very judgemental- and I didn't mean that at all. I think after a year and a half all of the women in my BMB probably got that, but apologize if I came off as a huge bitch to any lurkers
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
This is kind of crazy but I'm actually having second thoughts about my decision not to have another one. I'm still 75% sure I don't want another, but not 95% sure like I was before. I think I'm having crazy thoughts because it's finally gotten to a point where my baby is easy enough that I can actually conceive of having free time and/or a semi-normal life. But then one sleepless night and I think to myself, there's no way I can do another couple years of this, into my early 40s...
The other thing, if I'm being perfectly honest, is that I don't think my marriage will survive another one. We just both get stressed out and take it out on each other, etc...