I have a feeling this isn't going to be an actual UO but ...
My UO is that I can't stand Valentine's Day. I think it's such a money grab and people spend way too much money on one day of the year. Or some people are really crappy wives/husband's except on V-day. DH and I give love every day and I don't feel that I need V-Day to validate my love or my relationship. DH feels very much the same.
@stokesm21 so very important! I can't imagine my life without feedback and without giving positive feedback too. I don't like being the one fishing for compliments either but complimenting each other is a way of valueing each other!
Despite me being super lazy these days my hubby always compliments me and always notices if iv made even the slightest change( like yesterday I oiled my hair so after wash it was shinier than usual) and he noticed immediately and said your hair looks all glossy today which made my day. His hair however did look awful and he himself mentioned he needed a haircut lolll. But I do expect him to take cookie batter out of my hair If guests have arrived. If I can't see it and he can there's no harm in helping me out.
I hope none of you are being criticized in any way, because I'm definitely not. feedback and paying attention to your spouse is not the same as critique.I don't think I need to clarify that. If I get my nails painted ever so often and I haven't done it in a while that's just his interest in me and something that he probably likes me doing. He obviously liked me for me which is why we are together, and iv always been very proper. I can't stand guys who are dirty/messy and that's my preference.
The thing I admire the most about my husband is his nature and how we are on the same wavelength. He's a super neat guy and I love it.
Everyone has a preference and that's why we belong to whoever we are with!
@PurplePoppy424 that would be awful yes, but that's not what's happening to me thank God. its affectionate if anything, and I wouldn't have it any other way he's also my best friend.
Not going to lie. That would still never work for me.
Yup. +1 on that one. i can't shake a vague déjà vu feeling re this UO thread and where it is going...
@PurplePoppy424 that would be awful yes, but that's not what's happening to me thank God. its affectionate if anything, and I wouldn't have it any other way he's also my best friend.
Not going to lie. That would still never work for me.
Yup. +1 on that one. i can't shake a vague déjà vu feeling re this UO thread and where it is going...
I think it's going in the same direction with different tone and preference. We are unanimous on the critique aspect, and luckily most of us have loving husbands. I wouldn't take criticism over something so superficial EVER. Never. But some people do! And I guess that's what they chose to deal with.
@virginiaunicorn11 Something I've struggled with personally in my all-around life but that I'm getting better at. I'm (slowly lol!) learning to "just walk away." So I agree. Pick your battles.
@virginiaunicorn11 Something I've struggled with personally in my all-around life but that I'm getting better at. I'm (slowly lol!) learning to "just walk away." So I agree. Pick your battles.
ETA: words
Me too. And I also hate Valentine's Day, so cheers! I scheduled a business trip that day/night this year, and didn't even realize it. Meh. DH brought me flowers today because I was sick. He's my Valentine.
@virginiaunicorn11 I was not in any way trying to get the last word in at all, this is all open for discussion, and I do agree with everyone else to some extent too. I'm sorry if that's how it came across, and I can see what you mean. But thats not my point here at all.
I hate Valentine's Day too. I was at the drugstore today and looking at cards and they were all just so cheesy. Or $9. Who the hell is spending $9 for a card?!
I also despise receiving flowers. DH knows better than to waste money on flowers for me. Get me an edible arrangement.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
My husband makes me the best homemade chocolate covered strawberries every year for Valentine's Day! We normally do exchange cards, but we also randomly give each other cards all year round. Also leave random love notes in places and see how long it takes each other to find them! Anything goes around here. We are that cheesy couple that can't keep their hands to themselves. Huge saps, too. We also do Valentine's Day stuff all year, so the day itself is not a big deal at all. I would forget about it if it wasn't mentioned.
Ugh, screentime causes temper tantrums for my toddler, too.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I originally planned for no electronics for my baby until she was at least two, and still intended to limit it after that. Then I got pregnant and super sick, and those annoying nursery rhymes on YouTube entertained her so that I could puke in peace. Now, screen time turns her into a complete psycho (she's 16 months). Freaks out if she can't push the play button, cries when the song ends, screams if you take it away...Nope nope nope. No more screen time for this kid until further notice.
I feel like I'm missing something. Did we go back to the dark ages where men actually thought they got a say in our appearance? This thread is just making me even more thankful for my amazing husband who loves me regardless of how well I "keep myself up." I'm so happy I don't have a husband that feels it necessary to critique me or our daughter that way.
My husband is so laid back with appearances and thinks I look just as pretty with no makeup and sweat pants on. I like doing my makeup and hair (blonde eyelashes and frizzy shakira hair makes me feel the need for some TLC). But the cool thing is that he doesn't care at all, he's just happy that I can be ready in ten minutes!
My friend's husband on the other hand, he makes her wake up before him and do her makeup and hair so that she looks good when he wakes up (serious words that came out of his mouth)! That man would be waking up with shaved off eyebrows if he ever made a comment like that to me!
I have a feeling this isn't going to be an actual UO but ...
My UO is that I can't stand Valentine's Day. I think it's such a money grab and people spend way too much money on one day of the year. Or some people are really crappy wives/husband's except on V-day. DH and I give love every day and I don't feel that I need V-Day to validate my love or my relationship. DH feels very much the same.
Totally with you on this one. And what annoys me more is all the single people complaining, or making sure the world knows how happy they are being single. *eyeroll* DH's birthday is the week before Valentine's Day, and that's more worth celebrating so we usually do dinner and I get him something small. We have never been the type to go all out.
My friend's husband on the other hand, he makes her wake up before him and do her makeup and hair so that she looks good when he wakes up (serious words that came out of his mouth)! That man would be waking up with shaved off eyebrows if he ever made a comment like that to me!
Umm - what the actual fuck?! how exactly does he 'make her'?? I'd be out of there so fast.
My friend's husband on the other hand, he makes her wake up before him and do her makeup and hair so that she looks good when he wakes up (serious words that came out of his mouth)! That man would be waking up with shaved off eyebrows if he ever made a comment like that to me!
Umm - what the actual fuck?! how exactly does he 'make her'?? I'd be out of there so fast.
He's just a superficial pig. When she told me the story, it sounded like he did it in a very manipulative way, like telling her that he loves how she looks with makeup on and she should have it all done up for him so that he could wake up to her that way every morning...she is also very skinny and beautiful, and he constantly bags on her for not having a six pack. I'd be out too, but she's very insecure and dependent on him. It's sad.
My friend's husband on the other hand, he makes her wake up before him and do her makeup and hair so that she looks good when he wakes up (serious words that came out of his mouth)! That man would be waking up with shaved off eyebrows if he ever made a comment like that to me!
Umm - what the actual fuck?! how exactly does he 'make her'?? I'd be out of there so fast.
He's just a superficial pig. When she told me the story, it sounded like he did it in a very manipulative way, like telling her that he loves how she looks with makeup on and she should have it all done up for him so that he could wake up to her that way every morning...she is also very skinny and beautiful, and he constantly bags on her for not having a six pack. I'd be out too, but she's very insecure and dependent on him. It's sad.
Again wtf. I honestly don't even know how I would deal that bullshit in a marriage.
On on the Valentine's Day topic, I actually love it since having my son. I love getting him a cute card and little toy/candy. He gets so excited it's adorable.
Re: kids correcting adults. My 5 year old does this, I cringe a little sometimes. But we talk about being polite and when it's appropriate to correct someone (adult or child) and when it's none of our business. But I will never teach her unconditional deference to all adults. Firstly, I want her to know that what she has to say is important whether she's a kid or not. Secondly, I never want her to feel like she can't question the words or actions of an adult- that feels like a slippery slope. I struggle with finding balance, but at the end of the day the least of my concerns is raising a girl that is too confident and speaks up too much.
My friend forward faced her daughter at 1.5 years when her carseat is clearly rated for up to 65 lbs and recommends rear facing until at least 3.. She is an idiot, and I lost respect for her after that. Why are there not laws against this?
@CarsonsMommy wow I didn't realize the guidelines had changed to 3 for rear facing. honestly, maybe she just doesn't know. For all the crap babyseat sanctimommies get, at least they serve a purpose.
Legally, here in NJ, you have to rear face at least until age 2.
BFP May 2013 - MMC at 8 weeks BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015 BFP November 2016 - pending...
Legally, here in NJ, you have to rear face at least until age 2.
Same here in CA.
Omg see I'd totally be one of those moms everyone hates and judges because I didn't know the law or the guidelines changed! I started ff'ingDd right before her 2nd bday in 2013.
@CarsonsMommy wow I didn't realize the guidelines had changed to 3 for rear facing. honestly, maybe she just doesn't know. For all the crap babyseat sanctimommies get, at least they serve a purpose.
No, that is just the carseats specs, that it can be.
Legally, here in NJ, you have to rear face at least until age 2.
Same here in CA.
She is in CA! I guess she just never got pulled over. Her reasoning was that her daughter would like to be able to see more and see her mommy in the rear view mirror. It really rubed me wrong. She was 14 months to be exact when she turned her daughter to forward facing.
Eta when I told her about the recommendations and law, she just said she doesn't worry because she drives really safe. This is the girl who also drives her car after 5 shots of jack and some other drinks. NO, you just got lucky so far. And it isn't just you as a driver you have to worry about, it is the other drivers, too busy texting to pay attention to the road. There were more head on collisions on the highway 67 near Ramona than any other CA highway each year. That was the highway we both lived by. It is careless in my opinion. That is all.
Legally, here in NJ, you have to rear face at least until age 2.
Same here in CA.
Omg see I'd totally be one of those moms everyone hates and judges because I didn't know the law or the guidelines changed! I started ff'ingDd right before her 2nd bday in 2013.
Laws change so constantly. But the most important thing is that we live and learn and evolve. No judgement here.
@CarsonsMommy I know SO MANY people who forward face their babes before two. In fact the minimum weight for forward facing 30ish lbs is when the flip them "because they like it more" no respect. No respect at all. I let my kid run with scissors because he likes it. :insert eye roll emojis everywhere:
Legally, here in NJ, you have to rear face at least until age 2.
Same here in CA.
Omg see I'd totally be one of those moms everyone hates and judges because I didn't know the law or the guidelines changed! I started ff'ingDd right before her 2nd bday in 2013.
it's less about the law (which is 2 most places) and more about safety. It's undeniably safer for a child to be RF for as long as possible.
I get made fun of for 'helicopter' parenting because I put sunscreen on my kid and still rear face at 16 months. I do not care what anyone thinks. I will always do what I am comfortable with!
Is rear-facing, especially into toddlerhood, a relatively recent thing? I cannot remember ever seeing rear-facing carseats or toddler seats until the past few years, when my friends started having babies and the photos poured in, but then again, I was a baby myself the last time I was around lots of carseats.
But I was free to roam about the cabin, so to speak, from around age 4 or 5 (probably earlier actually), which I now know is a no-no, since it's recommended to use a booster seat until they're 4'9", which means I should have been in a booster seat until age 11 lol. I remember basically standing on my feet or knees in the FRONT passenger seat, sometimes facing forward and sometimes facing backward (whatever I felt like), with my seatbelt loosely over me. Oh, how times have changed.
@lph4248 Yep I remember fighting over the front seat with my brother when we were 5-6ish - this was before airbags, so they hadn't added the front seat restrictions yet. I also remember that I loved to ride in the rear facing seats of my friend's parents' station wagon. Ah the good old days, haha.
I'm going to rear-face as long as I can just because I happen to know that's the recommendation. If you're a parent of a young kid, you should look up what the recs are for your seat and in general. But especially if you get told what they are and you intentionally ignore it because "she likes it better", that's just unacceptable.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@lph4248@GrenBeanObviously things are different now. We have more information/studies to prove the safety differences between RF and FF (not to mention seatbelts/carseats in general). Just like 'back in the day' people thought smoking was actually good for you. Times are different and the human species learns and evolves.
While the laws are there to give people a bare minimum date for RF, I see no reason to turn kids around at 2. There is 0 harm in leaving them RF for longer, so why risk it?
Re: UO Thursday
My UO is that I can't stand Valentine's Day. I think it's such a money grab and people spend way too much money on one day of the year. Or some people are really crappy wives/husband's except on V-day. DH and I give love every day and I don't feel that I need V-Day to validate my love or my relationship. DH feels very much the same.
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Despite me being super lazy these days my hubby always compliments me and always notices if iv made even the slightest change( like yesterday I oiled my hair so after wash it was shinier than usual) and he noticed immediately and said your hair looks all glossy today which made my day. His hair however did look awful and he himself mentioned he needed a haircut lolll.
But I do expect him to take cookie batter out of my hair
If guests have arrived. If I can't see it and he can there's no harm in helping me out.
I hope none of you are being criticized in any way, because I'm definitely not. feedback and paying attention to your spouse is not the same as critique.I don't think I need to clarify that. If I get my nails painted ever so often and I haven't done it in a while that's just his interest in me and something that he probably likes me doing. He obviously liked me for me which is why we are together, and iv always been very proper. I can't stand guys who are dirty/messy and that's my preference.
The thing I admire the most about my husband is his nature and how we are on the same wavelength. He's a super neat guy and I love it.
Everyone has a preference and that's why we belong to whoever we are with!
i can't shake a vague déjà vu feeling re this UO thread and where it is going...
It is an UO thread after all
ETA: words
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
I also despise receiving flowers. DH knows better than to waste money on flowers for me. Get me an edible arrangement.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
We usually skip valentines also because anniversary is 4 days later so it's kind of 2 in 1.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
My friend's husband on the other hand, he makes her wake up before him and do her makeup and hair so that she looks good when he wakes up (serious words that came out of his mouth)! That man would be waking up with shaved off eyebrows if he ever made a comment like that to me!
On on the Valentine's Day topic, I actually love it since having my son. I love getting him a cute card and little toy/candy. He gets so excited it's adorable.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
Eta when I told her about the recommendations and law, she just said she doesn't worry because she drives really safe. This is the girl who also drives her car after 5 shots of jack and some other drinks. NO, you just got lucky so far. And it isn't just you as a driver you have to worry about, it is the other drivers, too busy texting to pay attention to the road. There were more head on collisions on the highway 67 near Ramona than any other CA highway each year. That was the highway we both lived by. It is careless in my opinion. That is all.
But I was free to roam about the cabin, so to speak, from around age 4 or 5 (probably earlier actually), which I now know is a no-no, since it's recommended to use a booster seat until they're 4'9", which means I should have been in a booster seat until age 11 lol. I remember basically standing on my feet or knees in the FRONT passenger seat, sometimes facing forward and sometimes facing backward (whatever I felt like), with my seatbelt loosely over me. Oh, how times have changed.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
While the laws are there to give people a bare minimum date for RF, I see no reason to turn kids around at 2. There is 0 harm in leaving them RF for longer, so why risk it?