Ask a STM 1/16

disneybaby84 · January 2017

Ask a second or third time mom all your questions!

dubcompanion · January 2017

Sorry if this has been asked before, but how many bags did your 'hospital bag' actually end up being? Based on what the hospital suggests we bring (which is essentially the norm; nothing on the list is anything I feel they should be supplying patients themselves), I'm counting 4-5 bags! 1 suitcase for baby and me, 1 duffel bag/backpack for DH's stuff, 1 cooler for snacks, a small bag with things to pass time/aid in comfort (if they don't fit into other bags), and 1 other small bag for hospital swag. I feel like this is way too much, though I am an over-packer by nature. Were any of you S+TM able to get by with 1-2 bags max?

hippiemama-2 · January 2017

Any other STM(+) having some serious false labor yet?

CanadianintheSouth · January 2017

@dubcompanion for sure 1-2 bags is enough. Basically I am packing an overnight bag, and adding in a few outfits for baby. Hospital has all the drinks/food (although I did send DH for twizzlers at the hospital). We don't live far from the hospital so my DH would go home frequently to let out the dog and pick up/drop off anything we needed.

kiyamurph · January 2017

@dubcompanion I was fine with one big bag, and when I say big bag, it was just a big duffle bag. I didn't bother with a suitcase type bag. I think how much you pack also depends on how far away from the hospital you are. I decided to deliver at the hospital that's close to the new house that's 6 minutes away, mostly so my parents can easily come back and forth with our toddler so they don't have to sit in traffic, so when my husband needs to shower and change clothes he can just run home. Last time I didn't pack anything for him since we were only 15 minutes away and again, he just went home and showered and changed clothes. All you really need to pack for yourself is the basics: underwear if you don't wear the mesh panties that they give you, nursing tanks/bras, a hoodie/cardigan, socks, and loose pajama pants. All you'll really need for baby is a going home outfit since they'll mostly be swaddled at the hospital and of course the hospital will supply plenty of diapers. My bag was big enough to fit the diapers, receiving blankets, and pacifiers that we took from the hospital. Some people will bring robes, pillows, blankets and such from home, but you really don't have to if you don't want a bunch of crap to carry.

kiyamurph · January 2017

hippiemama said:

Any other STM(+) having some serious false labor yet?

I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, mostly after I've been moving around quite a bit, but nothing like false labor. What's your definition of false labor though?

datalover13 · January 2017

hippiemama said:

Any other STM(+) having some serious false labor yet?

I had a pretty big freakout Saturday (after probably doing too much that day) when I was having BH every half hour or more plus some other painful contractions in there. It didn't keep me awake and yesterday I mostly just laid around and drank a ton of water. Feeling better today with just the usual BH every hour or two.
But it freaked me the heck out. I need this kid to stay put.

datalover13 · January 2017

@dubcompanion I will say I think we ended up taking a bit more than the others. I'm taking a suitcase (so I don't have to carry a duffel), and then I'll have my backpack with laptop (so I can file STD and FMLA stuff for work), chargers, camera. Packing LO's stuff in the diaper bag for the most part. DH will have a small duffel. Plus pillows. See if I can shove a blanket somewhere.

katem-3 · January 2017

At what point should I attempt to purchase a nursing bra? I've been able to wear my usual bras throughout this pregnancy so far with the addition of bralettes as they have a bit more give. There is only one baby/maternity store in town unfortunately so I feel I will have limited options unless I purchase online...

Currently 31w+3d, for the record.

hippiemama-2 · January 2017

@kiyamurph I guess the painful version of BH. Last night I was woken up a few different times with some painful contractions that I could feel all the way through to my back. It freaked me out. I've had a couple throughout the day today too. Definitely different from BH, but sporadic so nothing real is going on yet - I assume. I get BH all the time, especially when walking to or from work, but I've yet to have these stronger, actually painful ones until last night. I am fairly pain tolerant and the fact that they were able to wake me up got me a little nervous. I'm only 34 weeks tomorrow so I'm sure I still have a ways to go, but I'd be cool if I did not have to have these bad boys for the full 6 weeks.

disneybaby84 · January 2017

What are the best methods for sterilizing pacifiers and bottles?

kiyamurph · January 2017

@disneybaby84 For pacifiers I just threw those in the dishwasher. Or you can also boil them, which I'm pretty sure is the best method but I was too lazy for that. I know for bottles you can buy a sterilizer, but I just hand washed them using one of those bottle brush things.

dubcompanion · January 2017

Thanks @CanadianintheSouth @kiyamurph @datalover13! Distance does play a little bit into what I am planning to pack; our chosen hospital is 30 minutes away in light traffic and 45 during rush hour. So if we forget anything, it needs to be worth an hour or more round trip!

Phil413 · January 2017

@dubcompanion Have you done a hospital tour? I would have packed snacks the first time only to learn at the tour that they keep a fridge stocked for moms and their coaches/partners. We ended up with an overnight bag like a small rolling suitcase and a diaper bag, plus a pillow from home and a boppy. This time I'm leaving the boppy at home and leaving the diaper bag empty. That way I can stuff it with everything from the hospital.

disneybaby84 · January 2017

@Phil413 can I come to your hospital? Mine does not treat me so well.

dubcompanion · January 2017

@Phil413 We have done a hospital tour. They have "nourishment centers" throughout the maternity ward as well as room service. I initially was bringing our own snacks since the cafeteria isn't open 24/7 but forgot about the nourishment center. Maybe we can just get by with a bag of pretzels or something, in case they don't have anything DH likes. Thanks for having me double-check on the hospital food!

ETA- DH thinks the food offered at the nourishment center is not free, so he still wants us to pack a cooler of snacks. He can be in charge of remembering it on the way out of the house.

CanadianintheSouth · January 2017

@KateM I'm already wearing my nursing bras since they are the most comfortable, so I would say anytime! My favorite is the bravado seamless silk nursing bra.

@disneybaby84 I buy the medela steam cleaning bags that are meant to sterilize pump parts. When using something for the first time, or if I need something last minute and don't have time to run it through the dishwasher or hand wash I will use these bags, it makes cleaning/sterilizing easy! (https://www.target.com/p/medela-5ct-quick-clean-micro-steam-sterilizing-bags/-/A-10953413)

Cbeanz · January 2017

Anyone recommend red clover tea? What's it supposed to be good for? @Gators&BoSox ?

disneybaby84 · January 2017

@CanadianintheSouth thanks! I'll be picking that up this week.

Gators&BoSox · January 2017

@Cbeanz its very rich in vitamins and nutrients but typically used to prep for pregnancy or aid during menopause. there is debate as to if it is safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding as it mimics the qualities of estrogen in the body. people that do use it seem to use in conjunction with other herbs. here's a very detailed explanation if you would like

https://theherbalacademy.com/red-clover-safe-during-pregnancy-and-breastfeeding/

jenny0228 · January 2017

I'm curious about what happens right after baby is born. Do they check him out to make sure he's breathing and all that before they place him on you? Do they cut the cord first? Do they, er, wipe him off at all? I can't wait to hold him close immediately because I know skin to skin is so important and I keep dreaming of that moment, but at what point does he get rid of all the birth goo? Do you get to bathe him, or do the nurses do it while you recover (or get your legs back if you got the epidural)? DH keeps asking when they "clean the baby off" haha, poor thing he doesn't do well with blood or anything of the sort and he's actually nervous about this aspect. I'm nervous for him because I don't want anything to take away from his first moments with his son.

Also, how long after the baby comes does the placenta come? Guess it depends, but is it usually right away?

motherofdragons-2 · January 2017

@jenny0228

It depends 100% on the status of baby when he comes out. If all is well you can usually request to have him put on you right away while they cut the cord or not and check him out while he's on you, but you have to ask. If you don't ask, they cut cord, clean baby, check vitals, then give him to you. At least in my experience. I am hoping to wait a few minutes to cut the cord and hold my girl right away if she's in good shape, cord clamp delay has tons of benefits. They usually just wipe baby down and the actual bath comes later! As far as placenta, it can take up to one hour to come out but any longer is a bad sign. Both of mine came out maybe 10 minutes after delivery. That's the weirdest feeling for me! Big involuntary push and lots of pressure and then slippery fluid everywhere, but no pain.

kjd291 · January 2017

@jenny0228 it depends on baby and your hospital/birth center practices. If you have a preference let them know and they'll do what you want!

with my last location I agreed with all their regular practices. Baby was born-placed right on me-and nurses came over and wiped her all down with towels and checked her out while she was on my chest. I also wasn't sure about all the mess-but trust me-you won't care one bit! It really isn't that bad. Placenta comes out in the following several minutes (if all is normal) as well as any repairs if needed- all barely noticed as everything was going on up at my head with baby!

its all a bit of a blur-but after that and some cuddles, DH got handed a mostly all clean ((the towel rubbing got pretty much everything off)) swaddled baby! And the nurses helped me into the bathroom to pee, rinse off, get clothes on.

Middle of the night later ((they have certain hours they are supposed to do blood draws and Such)) the nurse woke us and said she was going to take baby down the hall for a few mandatory tests in the nursery, and give a little sponge bath. I was offered to come with her, or could stay and sleep.

Cbeanz · January 2017

@jenny0228 all of those decisions are up to you. It's probably a good idea to spell it out ahead of time on your birth plan and tell the nurses.

With my first, I had no idea what I was doing and I was happy to let the nurses clean her up and do all their checks before handing her to me. This time around, screw it all - I'm grabbing my baby immediately and whatever checks they do can be done with her on my chest. I'll shower later! LOL

If you don't spell it out, they'll do whatever is hospital policy which can vary a lot from one place to another. They told us during the tour what the typical timeline was (you could even just call L&D and ask).

wintersong · January 2017

dubcompanion said:

Sorry if this has been asked before, but how many bags did your 'hospital bag' actually end up being? Based on what the hospital suggests we bring (which is essentially the norm; nothing on the list is anything I feel they should be supplying patients themselves), I'm counting 4-5 bags! 1 suitcase for baby and me, 1 duffel bag/backpack for DH's stuff, 1 cooler for snacks, a small bag with things to pass time/aid in comfort (if they don't fit into other bags), and 1 other small bag for hospital swag. I feel like this is way too much, though I am an over-packer by nature. Were any of you S+TM able to get by with 1-2 bags max?

Way too much.
Your best bet is probably three bags: one full of stuff you want for labor, one full of stuff you want after delivery, and an overnight bag for H. Hospital stuff will not take up a whole bag, and you'll use up stuff like snacks.

For baby, you seriously just need 1 nb outfit, 1 3 month outfit, a warm hat/socks, warm blanket to put over car seat, and maybe nail clippers. I recommend a footed sleep and play type one piece for those outfits with a short sleeved onesie and socks underneath.

For your labor, you'll want light snacks, gum, lol balm, hair tie and brush, contacts and glasses, a towel (hospital towels suck), a couple of movies on a tablet or phone (in case things start out slow), and any pain relief things you might want like tennis balls. You also want any paperwork like hospital registration or birthplan.

For afterwards, you'll want a change of clothes (I'm bringing a pair of yoga pants, two nursing tanks, and two cardigans in case I'm there two nights), LIGHT reading material, toothbrush/toothpaste/deodorant/shampoo/conditioner, shower shoes, granny panties one size up if you hate the mesh undies, and snacks. The hospital will feed you full meals. Some people like to bring their own pillow or makeup.

Your H should have jammies, change of clothes, change, checkbook, camera and charger, phone chargers, reading material, toothbrush/paste/deoderanr, and anything he feels like will pads time that is easy to pack and bring.

I'd scrap the cooler and bring snacks you can keep at room temperature.

Less is more.

Your H can always leave the hospital if he needs to.

I packed three bags last time and it was too much. This time I'm bringing a medium sized suitcase that rolls and my H will have an overnight bag.

mossn83 · January 2017

So stm here but first was a Hawaii baby and this one is a Lake Tahoe baby. What type of layers and clothes are best for the cold weather? I keep the house around 70 but outside it will still be in the 30-40.

dubcompanion · January 2017

@longliveregina You're amazing. Thanks!

Foersty · January 2017

Today I got a letter from the hospital requesting that we go ahead and pay the anticipated fee for labor/deliver and stay and have it paid up 2-3 weeks prior to anticipated due date. Is this common? I've never been asked to prepay for medical services.

mtmama2 · January 2017

@Foersty I think it is pretty unusual to be asked to prepay for labor and delivery services. My hospital will give us a discount if we pay when we leave for home but said nothing about paying in advance.

Cbeanz · January 2017

@Foersty My OB costs are paid up front (including delivery). I have also heard of some hospitals collecting early although mine doesn't. It would be whatever portion your insurance doesn't cover (or if you have an out of pocket max that would be satisfied after delivery). You might be able to get a discount if you pay in full. Sometimes if you call the billing department you can ask what discount they offer whether you are paying before or afterward - as much as 25%!

Cbeanz · January 2017

mossn83 said:

So stm here but first was a Hawaii baby and this one is a Lake Tahoe baby. What type of layers and clothes are best for the cold weather? I keep the house around 70 but outside it will still be in the 30-40.

We were always told, dress baby like you'd dress yourself, plus one extra layer. For trips outside when it's ~30 I'd do a onesie plus fleece one-piece PJs and hat, then throw a blanket over the car seat or stroller. We never did coats on infants and never never never put a baby in a coat in a car seat.

VeeMore · January 2017

For pain management- currently, I'm thinking I want to try to see how far I get and get epidural if needed. Is that silly? Kind of also thinking, why suffer? Should I be honest and ask for it straight away?

Foersty · January 2017

Thanks @Cbeanz and @SienaC I guess it just really depends on the hospital's policy. It never occurred to me that they might do that, although I guess it makes sense from a business perspective.

jenny0228 · January 2017

thanks @silverbulletband @kjd291 @Cbeanz - DH and I went to our 2nd childbirth class last night and we toured the birth place, and they told us they typically do take them and check/clean before handing to parents. It's good to know because now I am not worried about DH, and I'll know it's normal that they don't bring him immediately over, and won't think there is a problem. The rooms are all private, and there is a little warming table right nearby where I can see him from the bed in the spot they will be checking/cleaning him.

kjd291 · January 2017

@Foersty i have heard of this-not first hand experienced it. But as with all medical bills//they have to take what you can pay. They can't force you. So don't feel pressure - definitely call and talk to billing about auto pays, discounts, etc. when I called and chatted with them they discounted me a few thousand dollars with my first when I filed some salary paperwork!! it's not like they can't turn you away from labor and delivery in a few weeks

kiyamurph · January 2017

VeeMore said:

For pain management- currently, I'm thinking I want to try to see how far I get and get epidural if needed. Is that silly? Kind of also thinking, why suffer? Should I be honest and ask for it straight away?

Not silly at all. That's what lots of people do, but then there are those that get it right away. Totally up to you. I would check out the All About Epidurals thread. Lots of stories about different epidural experiences.

Cbeanz · January 2017

VeeMore said:

For pain management- currently, I'm thinking I want to try to see how far I get and get epidural if needed. Is that silly? Kind of also thinking, why suffer? Should I be honest and ask for it straight away?

Not silly! But there are benefits to delaying an epidural, or not getting one:
The earlier you get one, the higher the likelihood that it could stall your labor progress and you would be in need of more medical intervention (Pitocin, forceps/vacuum delivery, etc.). A lot of hospitals recommend getting to a certain point of dilation before administering an epi.
You would be confined to a bed with a catheter, and not allowed to walk around, so if you planned to labor out of bed, you would probably want to delay getting an epi.

I would recommend reading as much as you can about pros and cons of all your options ahead of time, and get an idea of what you want to do before going into labor.

kjd291 · January 2017

Cbeanz said:

VeeMore said:

For pain management- currently, I'm thinking I want to try to see how far I get and get epidural if needed. Is that silly? Kind of also thinking, why suffer? Should I be honest and ask for it straight away?

Not silly! But there are benefits to delaying an epidural, or not getting one:
The earlier you get one, the higher the likelihood that it could stall your labor progress and you would be in need of more medical intervention (Pitocin, forceps/vacuum delivery, etc.). A lot of hospitals recommend getting to a certain point of dilation before administering an epi.
You would be confined to a bed with a catheter, and not allowed to walk around, so if you planned to labor out of bed, you would probably want to delay getting an epi.

I would recommend reading as much as you can about pros and cons of all your options ahead of time, and get an idea of what you want to do before going into labor.

All of this ^^^

wintersong · January 2017

Foersty said:

Today I got a letter from the hospital requesting that we go ahead and pay the anticipated fee for labor/deliver and stay and have it paid up 2-3 weeks prior to anticipated due date. Is this common? I've never been asked to prepay for medical services.

I prepay with my midwives office a couple of months ahead of time but not the hospital. (Obviously they bill separately.)

(In retrospect, a woman DID come into my room when I was between 6 and 9 centimeters and groaning in agony trying to make me pay my $400 copay because she forgot about it when I was admitted. Um, no lady. That will happen tomorrow. Go away.)

mtmama2 · January 2017

@longliveregina ARE YOU KIDDING?!? I would probably have screamed at her to GTFO!!

wintersong · January 2017

SienaC said:

@longliveregina ARE YOU KIDDING?!? I would probably have screamed at her to GTFO!!

She was so awkward too, like she doesn't work in a labor and delivery ward every day. (she does) Hasn't she ever seen a buck naked woman grunting and leaning over a hospital bed before?

Eventually my husband handed her a credit card to make her leave.

Eta it wasn't awkward for me at all. There is no awkward at that stage. I didn't even acknowledge her presence in real life, just my thoughts.

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