Daycares

bwing10 · January 2017

has anyone started the search for day cares for those moms going back to work? Due to my due date and when my maternity would end, it seems like in my town there is a high influx of children, due to the major college starting back up,so families are moving here and its at the end of summer when school starts back up. I just don't want to wait and be waitlisted and have to scramble when its time to go back to work. Am I starting my search to early?

jacksonbears · January 2017

No, i think you're fine! Where DH and i live, we have no relatives to help care. We both work full time, so daycare will be needed. I'm going to try and take a maternity leave as possible. We have a Bright Horizons a few blocks from us, I think we'll be going there. After 12 weeks, we'll start contacting them.

Kathryn0903 · January 2017

We're going to start looking soon. We're going to announce my pregnancy next week and DH wants to talk to people he knows and see where they took their kids. I'm due August 2nd and I plan on being back to work the last week of August so I definitely need childcare lined up.
STMs how early did you start looking?

chaser61 · January 2017

I say start your search even if it is a little early. I put a deposit down for DS' daycare when I was approximately 18 weeks pregnant and the daycare was completely booked the month before. There are not a lot of places in my area that offer care for infants, so if you want a good place, you book early. While you tour the facilities, you can always ask when it is best to book a spot.

FYI...I am a worrier, so I like to knock things off my list early! At 18 weeks, only one other applicant was on the list for the month I needed to start DS in.

editing to say that I am only 7 weeks and will probably wait until 12 or 14 weeks to book LO at the same daycare DS goes to. Super early but it will make me feel better.

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

100% start early. We have some here that are booked out til November already. Pay the deposit and get on that list.

MIL was supposed to watch him but wouldn't get the TDAP shot so we had to find another option when I was about 25 weeks. We did in home initially, someone my friend was also using. And it was not a great experience. She wasn't reliable. Super sweet and good with my son but had her own kids and would call off very last minute. I went to several places and got waitlisted. We finally got in to my first choice when DS was 11 mos old. And I couldn't be happier. I just wish I had gone there from the start and not tried to save some money by doing in home. I am returning after 12 weeks and will be sending the baby there as well. I feel sooooo safe and confident in my choice and know I won't be a worried mess when I return to work.

DeansGirl14 · January 2017

I'm not actually sure when to start looking but I am vaguely aware I need to start soon. It seems hard to find care places. Like, I find only official "daycares" and am not finding licensed in-home cares that surely must exist.

When we told our parents at Christmas that we're expecting, my parents told me they're willing to help. Thing is, it's not a concrete offer (and they live 1.5 hours away so would involve, say, my mom staying with us M-F), so I am going to need to know relatively soon how firm this offer is so I don't get screwed out of any daycare options.

bwing10 · January 2017

I have already inquired into 3 places in our town that have good reviews and I know people who have used them or who work there. They offer infant programs starting at 6 weeks old, hopefully I will get to tour them soon and get pricing. If I end up spending half my take home pay a month on day care, it might not been in my cards to continue working.

a2003tiger · January 2017

We're already on the waiting list for our current kids' school! Never too early.

asun123 · January 2017

DeansGirl14 said:

I'm not actually sure when to start looking but I am vaguely aware I need to start soon. It seems hard to find care places. Like, I find only official "daycares" and am not finding licensed in-home cares that surely must exist.

When we told our parents at Christmas that we're expecting, my parents told me they're willing to help. Thing is, it's not a concrete offer (and they live 1.5 hours away so would involve, say, my mom staying with us M-F), so I am going to need to know relatively soon how firm this offer is so I don't get screwed out of any daycare options.

A lot of people who run in-home daycares have listings on care.com! I would try there.

lyse01 · January 2017

Um, you guys, this discussion is making me panic. I haven't even had an ultrasound yet.

Drop off at daycare probably isn't before 7 am, is it?

britvahok · January 2017

@lyse01 Where I live most daycare centers open at 6:30am and home daycares usually open at 7am.

belmont1785 · January 2017

Where I live there is a huge shortage. We are extremely lucky and family watches our daughter.

I have friends that have daycare reserved for when they GET pregnant. They aren't even trying now. But daycare is super hard to find and expensive. Hopefully it won't be that way for you!

chaser61 · January 2017

@lyse01 DS' daycare is open from 6am to 6pm.

edited to tag

bwing10 · January 2017

So my first choice has a waitlist clear into next year

I am super bummed about it. I did have my boss' wife offer to watch my baby once I returned back to work full time in September, so I know that that is an option if I don't find another daycare I like.

taylormarie923 · January 2017

@lyse01 my son's school is 6:30-6:30.

Mango517 · January 2017

Right now our best option is the daycare on site at my husbands job. I *think* they don't have waiting lists because it's only for the employees of his company. I've heard nothing but great things about it, but there are some downsides that we have to consider if we choose there. (Like, it's 35+ mins away from home, the fact my H doesn't get home until later and it is $$$)

We might be moving to a new house/area, so I'm not going to stress about it until the potential move is settled and we know where we're going to be.

MatteaGabrielle · January 2017

I work in one. Never too early to start checking them out and find out what their wait list is like. We are in a place with lots of schools around so out list differs all the time but you can typically guarantee a spot of register just a few months before.
But an hour north of me, daycare are few and far between, unless you get a nanny you need to get on the wait list at conception lol.

SarahBethBR · January 2017

We are already on a wait list for our preferred center. We will probably get on more waitlists once we start researching more, but this place has great reviews, (barely) fits in our budget, and is right in our neighborhood. But I think it totally depends on your area and how in demand centers are.

In our city a lot of centers start at 1 year or even older. Um, I have to go back to work, thanks.

asun123 · January 2017

I took my kids out of an in home daycare probably almost a year ago just because my retired mother in law decided she wanted to watch them. I live in San Diego. The daycare was M-F 6am-6pm. Flat weekly rate of 145 for my baby and 135 for my toddler. $480/ week which meant $1,120/month. Which is one of the best rates you'll find around here.

pbandjyummies · January 2017

I mentioned this on another thread but I pay $400 a week for just one baby, I live just north of Boston. But, what I wanted to say was that I was jelly of some of the times noted, my daycare is from 7:30 - 5:30... they offer early drop off and late pickup but could run you upwards of $40 extra daily if you do both of them ($20 for early drop off, $20 for late pick up, and that's a daily rate)

we are considering getting an au pair once baby #2 comes since it'll actually be more economical, anyone has any experience with this?

Edited it because it cut off my last paragraph

DeansGirl14 · January 2017

One thing DH and I talked about with pickup dropoff is adjusting our work schedules. I'm very lucky to have some flexibility in my job. I doubt it would be a problem for me to work 7-4 (and do pickup) and DH to work 9-6 (and do morning drop-off).
We may not have to based on the care centers we find and their hours, but such an arrangement is something to consider.

budzynb · January 2017

@SarahBethBR Are you going to lose all your deposits if you make them at multiple places?

I am a worrier too so we are touring our first one tomorrow and my list is about 6-deep so far that I also want to tour. We thought we would be laughed at when we made our apt for so early in the pregnancy but apparently it's the perfect time, especially if I have to visit 6 before deciding. I hope to have a deposit down by 14 weeks. I had hoped for a nanny but there's no way I can afford it. We are leaning towards a center right now that also has preschool so they could ideally stay with the same staff and same environment for 5 years before elementary school.

Is anybody here impartial to a home center (6 kids max) compared to a daycare center/Goddard school? I'm open to being swayed

britvahok · January 2017

@budzynb I prefer registered and licensed home daycare centers up to age 2. DS went to home daycare from 3 months - 22 months then switched to daycare centers and is now in preschool. The daycare centers near me can have as many as 16 infants in one room and that's too much in my opinion. DS's home daycare only had 3 kids when he first started; a baby 6 months older than DS, a 2 year old and DS. DS didn't have his first fever until he was 13 months and was rarely sick when he was in home daycare. I liked the one on one attention at the home daycare and the smaller number of kids. Eventually the home daycare at 8/9 kids but thats much smaller than the 20 kids in his class when he moved to a daycare center. Some people think home daycare centers are more "risky" but I only select registered and licensed home daycares. I review their inspection reports on our department of social services website, interview the providers and frequently have unexpected visits. I also talk to the parents of the other kids. With this baby I plan to do the same thing but he/she will probably not start daycare until closer to 6 months.

In the end I think its about your gut feeling and intuition. I toured a lot of daycares (home and centers) and some I wanted to turn around and leave as soon as I got there. When I found our home daycare, I felt like I had an immediate connection with the woman and could see her passion for kids. Unfortunately she's moved so I'm starting all over again.

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

@budzynb I did both and I am 100% in love with my daycare, Rainbow Child Care. My in home was a referral from a friend. When we interviewed she had 5 FT and 3 additional part timers. I felt ok with that number. She was also licensed and showed us her credentials. But then new kids started showing up all the time. And then she started calling off sick all the time last minute. Come to find out she let her license lapse so she could take more kids. She ended up with 15 children so that she could bank the money for a new car. She risked my son's safety for a new fucking car. I asked her repeatedly how many kids she had and why there always seemed to be new kids and more than what she told me. I didn't find out about her license til I went to report her ass and saw it had lapsed. I was lucky enough to get on the waitlist at rainbow and got in pretty quickly. My mother in law watched DS for me during that time. If I see my old sitter on the street I seriously may whoop her ass. I'm still fired up about it!!

that said, I am obsessed with out center now. It's amazing! DS has 9 other toddlers in his class, and two "teachers". They are so kind and loving. I get updates daily about what the class did via email and then a sheet with what he specifically did. They provide all snacks and meals but I am very particular about what my son eats. No prepackaged foods, mostly organic and Whole Foods. So they let me pack his lunches and snacks and honor my wishes to serve my own beverages, no juice, etc. not all places will honor that. His curriculum is amazing. They teach Spanish and sign langauage. And I feel like he learns so much there. Every day he comes home and wows is with what he learned. He never has diaper rash. He hasn't been bitten. And he hasn't been sick in months! Although when he first started going he had a cold here and there. And we just got tubes so that may help too! Plus they are always open so I don't have to worry about someone calling in sick and then having to take the day off.

For me personally, a center is the way to go. But if you can find a good in home caregiver, with a limited number of children, especially infants and toddlers, and is licensed, go for it. Be sure they plan to do some teaching so it isn't just a bunch of kids sitting around watching the tv. And that they will cloth diaper, serve your breast milk, feed your child the way you wish, etc if those are important to you.

But most importantly you have to feel comfortable dropping off your baby every day. Trust your gut. If you think something isn't right, dig and don't drop it until you get the information you need.

chaser61 · January 2017

With DS, I was really hoping for an in home daycare but I didn't have any recommendations because I didn't have many friends wih kids. I looked at care.com and found it hard to weed through the providers. I did tour a facility with 20 infants and thought that was too many. The place he goes to now has a max of 10 infants. At the time I was nervous about that number too but now I think it is just fine. DS gets excited to see his friends and can't wait for me to put him down so he can play. They don't teach sign language but they do activities with them and there are no TVs. DS is about to transfer to the toddler room and they do more teaching in that class. I agree with other posters in that you have to go with your gut. Don't be afraid to drop in unannounced just to see the room one more time. It always made me feel better to see 10 happy LOs hanging out!

babyoakes · January 2017

I'm taking a day off work next week for the mister and I go go look. We only need part time child care and I've been told those spots fill up quickly so we are looking early

budzynb · January 2017

@britvahok totally understand about the one-on-one attention and the smaller amount of germs. Most centers we are looking at have a 4:1 ratio of newborns and only take up to 8. So they will bond with the 2 teachers only and not be around dozens of kids.

@dmbfan46835 OMG I would have lost my marbles! That's really terrible. Everyone I have seen around me has the state limit of 6 kids which is nice. I do like that with centers there is no risk of them calling off for being sick, but in the same regard they can call snow days and still charge me. I also don't like that most centers don't have a vacation policy. If I go on a week long vacation or I have time off work for holidays but they are open, I am still paying. Seems downright wrong. So we have to weigh both sides. I have found that most in-homes near me do not have any referrals and care.com only has 2 listed within 25 miles. I know that's not true because a woman told me about 3 in her sub alone!

Touring our first center today and then a Goddard school next week! Best of luck to everyone else touring and making this huge decision too!

budzynb · January 2017

@Kristisigma yeah our centers only allow up to 8 kids and it must be a 4:1 ratio. If it was 20 kids or even more than 10 I wouldn't even be considering them!! Maybe Michigan has tighter laws than other states. I have only found 2-3 in-homes through care.com which I know isn't right so I need another outlet. I've posted on all my mom-2-mom swap sites on facebook hoping for some recommendations/places to avoid!

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

@budzynb our center allows vacation after 6 months. And I think there is actually no limit so I could use some of that for maternity leave too and keep both kids home for a few weeks.

Im in Indiana and if you go to the states website it shows you the licensed care givers in your area. Maybe try that too!

chaser61 · January 2017

@budznb My state also requires a 4:1 ratio with infants and I believe it changes to 5:1 to toddlers. If they have 10 infants, there will be three teachers in the room.

Editing to add that that my co-worker used the daycare with 20 infants and was very pleased with the care. Both his sons went to that daycare and he highly recommended it. In the end, it was actually cheaper to go with the place with 10 infants to the room plus I just had a better gut feeling at that place.

pbandjyummies · January 2017

we also have guidelines that given teacher to student ratios.

@budzynb I agree, I hate having to pay when they close down. I can kinda see if you still had to pay if you decide to go on vacation but if you closed down the center because it's snowing, I don't even have the option for childcare so why do I have to pay.... it's very frustrating. DD has also been sick a few times and their policy is being sick free for 24 hours before returning, so there's also that... I'm still paying, must be nice.

DeansGirl14 · January 2017

To the point about not paying for days you don't use care... It feels frustrating for sure, but the way I look at it, we employ them. Whether it's an in-home nanny or a care center. Most companies with full time employees provide some amount of paid time off. We don't work and yet we still get paid (I actually have enough tenure where I work that they pay me not to work for over six weeks a year). Day care isn't "working" for us when our kid isn't there but they still get paid. So. That's how I rationalize it!

pbandjyummies · January 2017

@DeansGirl14 I never thought about it that way but it does make sense.

but it's still annoying

budzynb · January 2017

dmbfan46835 I will have to look up my state and find that since care.com stinks!!

@DeansGirl14 no I totally understand, they still need to pay teachers and cover overhead costs. But the Goddard school we are considering charges by the month and so they don't do vacation time because then "the billing get all messed up". Another daycare charges by the week though and gives us 5 vacation days per calendar year to cover family vacations, sick days, etc. It seems like a BS excuse that "billing gets messed up" therefore I have to pay. Maybe if you charged by the week (and didn't take a whole paycheck from me at one time) it would work out. Let me save that $200 a year please! lol *end rant*

I'm just hoping all these places cooperate with my work's pre-tax FSA for Daycare Account. If I can put away $12k pre-tax to pay for daycare I will be one happy momma!

SarahBethBR · January 2017

budzynb said:

@SarahBethBR Are you going to lose all your deposits if you make them at multiple places?

At the two we've talked to, you don't put a deposit down until you are offered a spot. Which is pretty awesome! If we had to put down deposits we would probably only pick our top choice.

nimmunogirl · January 2017

@budzynb, I'm pretty sure the max contribution for dependent accounts is $5000/year.

my little one goes to daycare and they have 4 infant rooms with 12 babies each. There are 4 teachers, so the ratio is usually 1:3. Each kid also get a primary teacher, so they get to know each baby really well. I also really like that breakfast, snacks x2 and lunch are included. Less to pack in the morning! Sadly, we will be moving to another state after LO arrives, so I will have to look for another daycare.

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

nimmunogirl said:

@budzynb, I'm pretty sure the max contribution for dependent accounts is $5000/year.

This is true, no matter how many kids. I actually have $709 sitting dependent care FSA from 2016 that I now have to pay taxes on to take out too. My in home sitter said she would do it initially but then decided in February that she wasn't going to file on that income anymore so we stopped. Then when I left her and went to my current daycare I maxed the account back out. Well now I have that surplus and it doesn't roll over like your HSA would. It won't be an issue on 2017 since my daycare will be WELL over $5k but def make sure you don't max it out for 2017 if you may not spend the entire $5k (like if your having your first child and not starting daycare until November). Just some thoughts!

chaser61 · January 2017

@dmbfan46835 what are you planning to do with your son during maternity leave; Take him out of day care for a few weeks or keep him in? I need to talk to the director but I hope it is not a problem to leave for 10 or 12 weeks. I don't want to lose our spot but I also don't want to pay for daycare when I am home on maternity leave and not getting paid.

Also, I feel a little bad pulling him out to be home with me only to send him back to daycare to readjust. But he will be older....

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

@kristisigma we definitely have to pay for something to keep our spot. I may drop down to the bare minimum, like the drop in rate, just to hold the spot and keep him socialized with his friends? But then again it's probably going to be hard AF with a newborn and his wild butt so he may go more often than that. I need to talk to them and verify my options. They have a vacation program but we haven't used it yet. I think it depends on where we are financially at that time too. DH had a record year and I did pretty well too so if that streak continues we may just keep sending him on the regular to keep the consistency and to get a break. I'm so torn!

Eta- I get full pay for 6 of the 12 weeks so hoping the 6 unpaid don't mess up my plans. Is any of your time paid? Maybe send him for that one and then drop down?

chaser61 · January 2017

@dmbfan46835 I do have short term disability that pays for four weeks. I also have the option to burn vacation time. So last leave, I did get paid for half the time because I opted to use 2 weeks of vacay. I also had to cut the company a check for my half of health insurance since they didn't have paychecks to deduct it from. We can afford to keep him in but I am extra aware of money with daycare being so expensive. You know how it is.

we have to give two weeks notice. So I figured we would give it the day I went into labor (if things work like they did last time) and send DS in for those two weeks while I heal / bond with newborn.

I will keep paying if that is what I have to do to keep his spot. Now that he has been there a year, we do get to take one week where he doesn't go / we don't pay. Sooooo that takes care of one week!

PS. Glad to hear you and DH are having a good year!

MrsG1019 · January 2017

@asun123 I'm in San Diego too (Oceanside) those are awesome prices for around here!!! whay daycare is that if you don't mind me asking? Something in home I assume?

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