Not a huge one, but my mom's staying with us for a week while she's working close by and won't stop trying to do things like make me sit down, or let her take the laundry basket... her intentions are great but I'm not broken! Or showing any indication I need help. I love you, mom, just... I got this.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
I've known for a few months now that my best friend isn't coming to my baby shower. She asked me months ago when it was and what I needed her to help with then she said she had an "event" to go to. She's a serious Herbalifer and since she wasn't specific about this event I assumed that's what it was about. It made me upset because I helped plan, set up, and pay for her baby shower and I helped with her wedding literally days after getting out the hospital after the loss of my child. She got married 3 wks after. I told my mom about it and since we are all like family my mom went and contacted her about it which I didn't want her to do. So a little upset at my mom too for not letting me handle my own battles. Now she switched up her reasoning for not being able to go to say she's having an out of town guest (from a city I've never known her to have a friend in) and can't leave them alone. She's also due in late March with her second and asked me what weekend I was free for her baby shower. It's odd to me and now I'm confused about if she thinks I'm helping with her baby shower because....no.
My bff on the other hand is child less and will never be able to have children biologically, if she ever has kids it will be afoption. At this time in her life it's not on her radar. I feel like I might lose her because now my life is centered around baby stuff and she is enjoying a child free marriage. Oh and I moved to this state because she lives her and she's been begging me to move here for years. My DH was able to get a job transfer out here, but he and I had already decided when we moved out of state, we were making babies, cuz my clock is ticking. I'm so scared of the idea I might lose my best friend.
@disneybaby84 the opposite might happen too. your LO might become like a niece or nephew to your best friend. I'm sure she knew you guys were going to have babies. Does she seem excited or at least still hang out with you even though you're preggo? You could always talk to her about it too
@mcdonald-bailey That is awful! I'm sorry that you're dealing with that.
I'm having some shower anxiety.
My dad called me from BuyBuyBaby yesterday. He was there shopping with his girlfriend (He left my mother for this woman more than 10 years ago but they're not married... that's another story for another day...) Apparently the sales people were commenting about how messed up my registry was because I didn't register for a stroller, and how they couldn't believe that I wouldn't register for a travel system, especially bc I am having twins.
I didn't register for a stroller because: 1) I bought a double frame stroller from another twin mom for dirt cheap. I wanted the older model b/c it doesn't require pricey adapters, the new one is $120 + $30, I got mine for like... $30 bucks total 2) I bought my own full feature stroller because: It was on sale on black Friday, it had a waiting list and I needed to get it purchased probably BEFORE my shower to get it by the time the babies get here, because it isn't available at any of the places I registered, and because it was stupid expensive and I KNOW no one would shell out $739 for a stroller plus $189 x 2 for bassinets (Which we're using as their beds in our room for the first several months. They make car seat attachments for this stroller, but not for the car seats I'm getting, so I decided that I could do without (since I have the frame stroller). This is the single largest purchase I've made for my babies, and I agonized over it for MONTHS. 3) The full feature travel systems for twins a FREAKING HEAVY. The lightest being somewhere around 35lbs with the car seat adapters (but not car seats/babies) attached. Most will barely fit in a SUV trunk. My husband uses a wheelchair so we have to fit a stroller + wheelchair in our small SUV, this limited my options drastically.
Anyway, I had to explain why i didn't have a stroller on my registry to my dad (I'm assuming it sounded like I was talking another language to him) so that he could tell the salesperson and BuyBuy to stfu and leave him alone. He ended up buying my high chairs instead (score).
Second shower gripe: I have a really large family on my dad's side (he's the 4th of 10 kids). All of them are local except for 1. I have 35 cousins and I don't even know how many 2nd cousins. I have attended so many wedding and baby showers and baptisms and first communions and I've always done my part and given a gift. Once my parents got divorced, I started giving a little bit extra and signed gifts from my mom as well. One of the larger families has 5 girls. I attended all of their wedding showers (one twice, b/c she is 2x divorced), I was in one of their wedding parties, I acted as the bride's helper for another, I went to the 3 baby showers, etc etc etc. The one was more like a sister to me, and she has been totally mia for months. It hurts that I put forth effort to be a good cousin/niece to them, and NONE OF THEM are coming to my shower. NONE OF THEM had the decency to even RSVP no. The kicker? The one is the mom of TWINS. I AM HAVING TWINS. It would be really nice to get to talk to a twin mom, or twin grandmom at my shower.
Honestly, its not about the gifts (but, lets be real here, I've probably shelled out at least $1000 on this family between all of their weddings and showers and baby showers, being a bridesmaid, helping the bride in the other wedding, etc... they couldn't even bother to RSVP no and send a card or something?) I just don't understand why they're ignoring me after I have done a LOT for their family over the years. I guess I'm disappointed.
Oh man, sorry for the novel. I guess I had more feelings than I thought.
@Gators&BoSox She seems interested, but hasn't given me the emotional reassurance I feel I need at this point. I have been thinking of sitting down with her and discussing my fears. Hopefully you're right and baby will become like family to her.
@direwolfmini that hurts! I hear you! We expect family to care and to be involved. I have similar concerns about certain family members. Those are the ones thst are supposed to step up, especially if they know money is tight and you need it. Hugs!!
@disneybaby84 That is really tough. The fact that she seems interested is encouraging. If she didn't, I think it would be a bad sign (just from personal experience). I think that people sometimes don't know what to do with pregnant ladies, especially if they're the first in a friend group to have get pregnant. I think that sitting down with her is a good idea! I hope that it goes well for you!
@direwolfmini I think it's totally valid to have hurt feelings over that, wanting reliable family to be involved and supportive in a baby's life is practically a natural urge. PLUS you've spent years investing your energy & resources into these people and their lives, to not have that reciprocated would be pretty surprising and disappointing for anyone, even non-relatives. Sorry
My issues seem so small compared to the ones just posted! Baby showers can be a real pain in the derriere! My only vent today is that I'm trying to get into an imaging boutique for an elective ultrasound to confirm the gender of my LO and the owner won't call or text me back since Saturday! I understand she's probably very busy because she runs the place by herself, or maybe there was a family emergency, I just hate waiting! How hard is it to check the schedule and shoot a text saying "hey, got an opening today/tomorrow"? Its just frustrating for me, obviously pregnant and prone to get flustered over silly stuff lol. I'm cleaning my house and eating my anxiety while waiting!
@direwolfmini I have the same shower gripe with my husband's huge family. No one from his family is coming and no one RSVPed! My friend hosting my had send multiple emails and found out they RSVPed to my non host mother in law. I'm really annoyed bc one of my cousins on his side had 3 wedding showers 2 weddings and a bachelorette party this year and I went to all of them and she couldn't even rsvp yes or no to an Evite. It's not about the gifts... it just makes me feel like no one in my husband's family really likes me.
@BaylieGirl YES! Don't people understand that pregnant women have crazy hormones going on? I'm super duper paranoid about being hated now... I'm also trying to figure out what I did to make them hate me... this is stress I don't need!
I'm the one reaching out to my family because my SIL hosting doesn't do facebook, and that's the only contact info I have for some of these folks (other than their home addresses). Extra awkward!
I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.
On the plus side, I guess that I know that I don't have to put forth effort to go to the events for the family members that couldn't be bothered. #petty #sorrynotsorry
So out of the blue the perfect house popped up on the market with literally everything on our checklist, so naturally we jumped on it and made an offer. Offer got accepted the night we made it so it was a very quick sale... Next morning I wake up to a big public post on Facebook from MIL saying congratulations on buying our first home! She is a great MIL really.. She never ever does anything that bugs me, she's supportive, etc. She just got too excited and all I could think is wow lady you're jinxing us. Nothing legal was even processed... All that was done was an offer got accepted. How humiliating would it be to have to explain to everyone congratulating me for buying our first home that things fell through with the bank etc. The inspection is tomorrow so we still don't even know if we will waive our conditions.
Plus also I wanted to be the first person to post about buying our very first home for our growing family!!! To top it off she linked the listing of the house so all of her Facebook friends and all of my facebook friends could see the address of where my kids will be living. That's what bugged me the most out of everything. She was very nice about removing the link when I requested thank goodness cause my anxiety was in full swing.. I never post anything to do with where we live online for all to see. (Common sense)
aww @Burrberrymum I'm so sorry she did that to you! I would've been sooo upset, at least she removed the link but still - that's YOUR news to share (or not) if/when you want to. I'm really happy for you that you found such a perfect house though, that's awesome!!! I hope the inspection goes really well tomorrow - best of luck with everything!!!!
Minor gripe, but how long would you guys wait at the gym to just scan in if the two people in front of you are each processing some elaborate sign up/ payment change procedure? I finally just gave up and walked in. I only have 30 minutes kids, can't wait while you consult on your payment options for 45 mins.
Potty training my 33 pound toddler while almost 33 weeks pregnant. SUCKS. My body is going to fall apart. That is all.
Sammmme boat here girlfriend. My fave is when she insists she has to go 5/6 times in a row and I lift her up and wait around. nothing happens. I swear she's just screwing with me.
A friend I've known for 20+ years has a pregnant daughter. They are hosting a sex reveal party at her house this weekend. Friend's house is a pig sty! She is using the excuse that she broke her foot 2 weeks ago, but in all the time I've known her, her house has always been dirty. Every time I go over there, she apologizes for the litter box. So today she's trying to guilt me into coming over to clean for her. Ummm...I'm damn near 9 months pregnant. I have a hard enough time cleaning my own house. You have 3 adults in your house able to clean, I'm not doing it!
@DrillSergeantCat OH HECK NO. Especially if she has cats. Aren't pregnant ladies supposed to avoid litter boxes? (I don't have a cat, so I don't know the rules).
@DrillSergeantCat OH HECK NO. Especially if she has cats. Aren't pregnant ladies supposed to avoid litter boxes? (I don't have a cat, so I don't know the rules).
Also, HOLY SMOKES You're 35 weeks today?!?!
The risk is really with outdoor cats or cats that are indoor/outdoor. I have two cats and the only reason I don't clean their litter box is because I can't climb over the gate to get in and out.
Yes ma'am 35 weeks. Honestly, I probably only have 4 weeks to go because I'll probably be induced a bit early since I grow big babies.
@DrillSergeantCat F that noise. Hinting to a heavily pregnant woman to come and clean their pig sty of a house is pretty shitty IMO. And there are 3 other people there that can clean?! That would be a big fat NO. That reminds me of my philandering coworker. She has grown children that are ungrateful slobs and my coworker does all of the cooking and cleaning. She even still does their laundry. Of course she then complains about it to us at work, but it's like, umm lady, how about you put your lazy kids to work instead of being a martyr?
@Burrberrymum this is the reason I don't want my MIL to have a Facebook account...she keeps asking DH and SIL to set her up with one...I can only imagine the things she would post on mine and DH's Facebook pages...I'm sorry she did that to you!
Me (37) Hubby (39)Marriedsince 4.2009 EP: 2.17.2016 DS: 3.4.2017 DD: due 7.16.2019
I just found out that in my hospital bag, I have to bring my own towels, diapers, wipes, and maternity pads. Wtf?! Why is that not provided AT the hospital?
@npaulie that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.. what if it were an emergency situation? you're just SOL? mind boggling... is that even legal?!?
@Gators&BoSox apparently so. And after talking to a few other Irish moms, apparently all the hospitals are that way. If you don't have it, they tell you to have someone go buy some and bring it to you. Even if you pay to go to the private hospital. My mind is blown. I think that's ridiculous.
Not sure exactly where to post this gripe and I haven't though out the best way to word it, but bear with me. It's going to sound selfish but...I hate when people make a baby about THEM, for instance, my MIL commenting on a pic of my bump with something like 'I can't wait to meet my grandson!' Or 'So excited for this baby boy'. Can you not touch on the fact that there is a PERSON who is doing the work of carrying the child and give me some props? Maybe say something about how excited you are for your son to become a father. To me, it comes across that she will be waay too attached to this baby and what he is to her, instead of respecting that WE were responsible for his life and deserve some credit. She is also the type to buy him 'Grandma is my favourite' type of clothes and IMHO, I am not a fan of them.
Unrelated: my MIL is always talking to me about the shower she is hosting for me; like listing off every guest by name to tell me who RSVP'd and how many tables and chairs she needs, and where she plans to put them, and all I want to say is "Thank you for offering to host this for me, but I don't want to know every detail, I'm forever grateful but I want some things to be a surprise and to not be so involved in the process." Just makes me think maybe she doesn't have anyone to blather on about it with? I don't need this stress!
@MrsFlemingo totally get you. MIL told my DH she is excited to see her grandson, but not so sure about visiting us. Nope, doesn't work that way, not just going to hand my baby to a woman i don't trust.
One of my co-workers has an office in a different part of the building but he gets bored back there by himself so he comes and hangs out up here. He has a very bad habit of telling stories in excruciating detail that take upwards of half an hour. He also will sit and listen to the phone ring then act like it's a surprise why I'm calling his name. Like dude, you heard the phone ring before I said your name, you can assume you have a phone call.
@MrsFlemingo over Christmas my cousins were saying how excited they are that WE are going to have a baby at Christmas next year and all the things WE will be doing with baby. WE are not having a baby. I am having a baby. Neither one is married or even dating a particular person for that matter so they act like this is their baby too. One cousin lives 3+ hours away and is a surgeon working 90 hours a week and the other is self absorbed and lives an hour away but is always "busy" when we try to make plans to hang out. Neither is going to be helping with baby once he's here so the WE they keep referring to is me.
And it it drives me crazy when people ask me how I'm doing while looking directly at bump. Eyes up here folks!
Re: Monday Bitch Fest 1/9
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
I'm having some shower anxiety.
My dad called me from BuyBuyBaby yesterday. He was there shopping with his girlfriend (He left my mother for this woman more than 10 years ago but they're not married... that's another story for another day...) Apparently the sales people were commenting about how messed up my registry was because I didn't register for a stroller, and how they couldn't believe that I wouldn't register for a travel system, especially bc I am having twins.
I didn't register for a stroller because:
1) I bought a double frame stroller from another twin mom for dirt cheap. I wanted the older model b/c it doesn't require pricey adapters, the new one is $120 + $30, I got mine for like... $30 bucks total
2) I bought my own full feature stroller because: It was on sale on black Friday, it had a waiting list and I needed to get it purchased probably BEFORE my shower to get it by the time the babies get here, because it isn't available at any of the places I registered, and because it was stupid expensive and I KNOW no one would shell out $739 for a stroller plus $189 x 2 for bassinets (Which we're using as their beds in our room for the first several months. They make car seat attachments for this stroller, but not for the car seats I'm getting, so I decided that I could do without (since I have the frame stroller). This is the single largest purchase I've made for my babies, and I agonized over it for MONTHS.
3) The full feature travel systems for twins a FREAKING HEAVY. The lightest being somewhere around 35lbs with the car seat adapters (but not car seats/babies) attached. Most will barely fit in a SUV trunk. My husband uses a wheelchair so we have to fit a stroller + wheelchair in our small SUV, this limited my options drastically.
Anyway, I had to explain why i didn't have a stroller on my registry to my dad (I'm assuming it sounded like I was talking another language to him) so that he could tell the salesperson and BuyBuy to stfu and leave him alone. He ended up buying my high chairs instead (score).
Second shower gripe:
I have a really large family on my dad's side (he's the 4th of 10 kids). All of them are local except for 1. I have 35 cousins and I don't even know how many 2nd cousins. I have attended so many wedding and baby showers and baptisms and first communions and I've always done my part and given a gift. Once my parents got divorced, I started giving a little bit extra and signed gifts from my mom as well. One of the larger families has 5 girls. I attended all of their wedding showers (one twice, b/c she is 2x divorced), I was in one of their wedding parties, I acted as the bride's helper for another, I went to the 3 baby showers, etc etc etc. The one was more like a sister to me, and she has been totally mia for months. It hurts that I put forth effort to be a good cousin/niece to them, and NONE OF THEM are coming to my shower. NONE OF THEM had the decency to even RSVP no. The kicker? The one is the mom of TWINS. I AM HAVING TWINS. It would be really nice to get to talk to a twin mom, or twin grandmom at my shower.
Honestly, its not about the gifts (but, lets be real here, I've probably shelled out at least $1000 on this family between all of their weddings and showers and baby showers, being a bridesmaid, helping the bride in the other wedding, etc... they couldn't even bother to RSVP no and send a card or something?) I just don't understand why they're ignoring me after I have done a LOT for their family over the years. I guess I'm disappointed.
Oh man, sorry for the novel. I guess I had more feelings than I thought.
My body is going to fall apart.
That is all.
I'm the one reaching out to my family because my SIL hosting doesn't do facebook, and that's the only contact info I have for some of these folks (other than their home addresses). Extra awkward!
I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.
On the plus side, I guess that I know that I don't have to put forth effort to go to the events for the family members that couldn't be bothered. #petty #sorrynotsorry
Plus also I wanted to be the first person to post about buying our very first home for our growing family!!! To top it off she linked the listing of the house so all of her Facebook friends and all of my facebook friends could see the address of where my kids will be living. That's what bugged me the most out of everything. She was very nice about removing the link when I requested thank goodness cause my anxiety was in full swing.. I never post anything to do with where we live online for all to see. (Common sense)
Also, HOLY SMOKES You're 35 weeks today?!?!
Yes ma'am 35 weeks. Honestly, I probably only have 4 weeks to go because I'll probably be induced a bit early since I grow big babies.
EP: 2.17.2016
DS: 3.4.2017
DD: due 7.16.2019
Im sorry! That's super annoying they don't no provide those BASIC necessities. I'm glad you asked so you can be prepared!
Unrelated: my MIL is always talking to me about the shower she is hosting for me; like listing off every guest by name to tell me who RSVP'd and how many tables and chairs she needs, and where she plans to put them, and all I want to say is "Thank you for offering to host this for me, but I don't want to know every detail, I'm forever grateful but I want some things to be a surprise and to not be so involved in the process." Just makes me think maybe she doesn't have anyone to blather on about it with? I don't need this stress!
I'm not sure which annoys me more.
And it it drives me crazy when people ask me how I'm doing while looking directly at bump. Eyes up here folks!