BMB lurkers, give me your best thread!

lewliv · January 2017

I'm new to the Bump and thanks to the UO thread I was introduced to lurking at other BMB. Bump veterans, give me your favorite threads (links, please). Great info or just plain drama, what else should I be reading for knowledge or entertainment?

NYTino24 · January 2017

You mean the UO thread where I suggested we NOT do this? As I just said there and in FFFC, I'm happy our board doesn't participate in public drama. If you want it so badly, go find a thread on one of the other BMB and don't start one here. How about you head on over to May BMB to give support to one of our mamas who was just diagnosed with cancer while pregnant? That would be a good use of time and support. There are also other mamas with miscarriages, threatened miscarriages, and babies with life threatening conditions that you could show some love to on or own board or others.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12698553/tw-diagnosis-updated/p1

NYTino24 · January 2017

Here are some mamas on our own BMB who could use some support (noticed you didn't comment and neither did many of the 300+ who introduced themselves):

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12698637/tw-im-sadly-leaving-good-luck-girls#latest

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12698508/saying-goodbye-tw#latest

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12697803/goodbye-friends-trigger-warning#latest

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12697542/saying-my-goodbye-to-aug2017#latest

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12696834/today-i-lost-my-baby/p1

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12696620/bleeding-trigger#latest

...I don't think any of these ladies got a proper goodbye. Maybe channel some of your positive energy to them.

SouthernMama15 · January 2017

@NYTino24 thanks for being so supportive of all the Mamas with losses. I remember on June 15 we had an hour of silence board every Thursday afternoon. No one posted during that hour, except on that board in support of those with losses. We don't have to do it, but I thought it was a nice way to acknowledge and make sure no one didn't get the support they needed.

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

@nytino24 I

you

NYTino24 · January 2017

I'm sure there are plenty of other ladies who may have also left us already because it's too painful to tell their loss stories or they are too worked up about current bleeding or diagnoses. Maybe my pregnant self is crying because there's a chance I might not be pregnant anymore. I guess you just don't realize how lucky you are when your life doesn't have drama in it.

dmbfan46835 · January 2017

NYTino24 said:

I'm sure are plenty of other ladies who may have also left us already because it's too painful to tell their loss stories or they are too worked up about current bleeding or diagnoses. Maybe my pregnant self is crying because there's a chance I might not be pregnant anymore. I guess you just don't realize how lucky you are when your life doesn't have drama in it.

Been watching your posts hoping for some good news. I hope everything works out for you guys. Hugs.

vannilly · January 2017

@NYTino24 I'm so sorry to hear that...I'll say some extra prayers for you and some of the other mamas today!

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2017

@nytino24
big fluffy panda hug to you

flowerintherain · January 2017

@NYTino24 I've been following your posts as well. I'm praying that everything works out in your favor! Please keep us updated. Hopefully today is at least a little better for you than yesterday.

neludelu · January 2017

Lurking from June 16. Come on over to see our drama llama thread. Yes, there is sadness in life but there's also the ability to have fun and see the lighter side.

lewliv · January 2017

@NYTino24 I was very clear that I'm interested on any GOOD INFO (if there's some good threads with good discussions about stuff that a FTM should know) or any ENTERTEINEMENT drama as funny stuff and arguments. Stuff that people clearly said that they read in other BMB groups e.g. people arguing over Ramzi method or the best week to start FB group or bump pics.
Not at any time I asked to be entertained by other people's tragedies or difficulties.
I'm not sick or insensitive. I'm very sorry about anything unexpected that is happening to you or other mom's here and I'm available to talk to anyone that needs a pick me up.

Nxy · January 2017

I feel super insanely uncomfortable going to other bmb's and saying anything at all to anyone. Support/drama anything. I only feel comfortable on here because I jumped on here from the beginning. That said I lurk, I laugh, I feel badly for some mama's. Irl I'd also be uncomfortable going up to someone I know had a loss that I've never spoken to and expressing my condolences.
I go out from our board looking for some drama because my real life has none in it. DH is deployed and I've got nothing going on. Seriously I've talked to 4 adults this week in real life. I need a distraction. I absolutely love how supportive our board is.. and the relatively low drama is mostly nice. I don't like the push not to stir the pot at all, makes for a boring bmb.
All that just to come back and say @NYTino24 I've been following your story and actively sending you positive vibes. I really hope you get some good news soon.

NYTino24 · January 2017

I didn't say you asked to be entertained by tragedy or difficulty. I questioned why anyone would want to bring drama from other boards here or draw attention to it here. It clearly exists in several other places and FYI, you can get warnings or get banned for discussing threads that violate the TOU. Crazy, I know. I suggested positivity and giving of support on our board. That's not to say everything needs to be rainbows and sunshine - feel free to call people out (if you have good reason or someone is totally misinformed) as I have done here. Try reading the threads yourself to find the good info or even use the search function if you need good FTM info. Or you could try starting a thread with a specific question if it hasn't been discussed. I'm not saying I haven't read or even responded to drama threads. Let's be the board everyone wants to be in and not the board everyone wants to link catty posts from to laugh at.

Stankonia2014 · January 2017

Um, how about you peruse the boards like normal posters. There are quite a few boards that have specific drama threads with links. Or you could, you know, read titles of threads and read what interests you.

I'm just confused as to why you would come here and expect people to do the work for you.

*lurker from J17*

Nxy · January 2017

Also I agree if you want to look for drama go forth and find it. If I've gotta read through 5 pages of UO to get to the juicy part so do you.

lewliv · January 2017

@NYTino24 again, I'm very sorry that my thread rubbed you the wrong way. Please don't take this as a personal attack to you or other moms having a difficult time. Also, don't judge me by saying that "my life has no drama" just because I want to learn from or laugh with other BMB groups. I see my family once every 1-2 years. I lost my father to a painful cancer while living thousands of miles away and wasn't even able to go to the funeral for a proper goodbye. I'll have this baby (if hopefully everything goes well) without my mom or girlfriends around. Once I decided to get pregnant it became definitive that I will never go back to live in my own country (since I will never move my child away from his/her father). It eats me inside to know that for the rest of my life I'll be a foreigner and that my family and friends will never again be an intrinsic part of my life. It also makes me feel horrible that this is a lot of pressure for my husband.

NYTino24 · January 2017

@LivLew I'm not trying to make you feel bad, and I would have said something even if I wasn't having issues. This isn't even personal and totally directed at you. My point is we all have stuff going on (some more serious than others) and we should put out some effort to help others. I don't see nearly as many love it's or positive comments (or comments at all) in our BMB as I see on boards like TTGP. I didn't comment on all of those loss threads because some were before I even joined and I didn't know them. I'm just trying to give perspective here, especially since you said you're new. I would love to see you stick around and become a great contributing member. Even as a FTM (which I am also hoping to be) you still can say, "I really don't have any information for you and haven't been through that situation, but I am thinking of you!" or "I noticed someone else posted this thread that is similar to what you're taking about." My suggestion was to start commenting on and sending love its to people on our board before worrying about what's up on others. Or even start a fun Getting To Know You post with a funky question for some entertainment. PS I love all of the other BMBs and visit you regularly while I'm stuck in bed.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/7c/5e52d5iyuy6e.gif

lewliv · January 2017

Please forget that I asked. I just thought that people that have been at the Bump for a long time would already know good places to learn or laugh. If I knew how to close this, I would. As I mentioned before I'm new here and thought it was worthwhile asking. I honestly don't really know what exactly I want or need to know about pregnancy. I've never been pregnant before and I haven't told anyone that I'm expecting. I really have no one but my husband to talk. And since my brother and his wife just had a miscarriage I will not be telling my mom or family until after my first ultrasound at 20 weeks.

sls · January 2017

I'm a dirty lurker from M/J17, and I can't help it. You all get to witness my first break in lurking in another BMB:

@LivLew I feel kind of bad for you, which is why I'm posting; HOWEVER, you're being insensitive, so I am still backing the other posters and underlining what they said. I've got two things for you:

1) I understand your worry about MC. Rest assured that once you reach the second trimester (12+ weeks), your risk of MC goes down significantly. If you hear an average heartbeat rate, your risk goes down a lot too. You don't need to wait until 20 weeks, although it's completely up to you what you do. Read this article: https://expectingscience.com/2015/08/26/lies-damned-lies-and-miscarriage-statistics/

2) Read threads, like ALL the stickied ones and a few days of other ones, before you post. That's just general internet common sense. Walking in here and starting this thread is like showing up at a party where you don't know anyone and screaming, "Look at me!" Super tacky, girl. It's your job to do the work, not someone else's to hand stuff on a silver plate (especially since the frickin stickies ARE handing you stuff on a silver plate).

What to do now? Nothing. Just let this thread die, read and respond politely to other threads, and get to know people.

--Your fairy godmother

lewliv · January 2017

Thanks @sls Will do. Thanks for the article as well. Just one question: what do you mean by "stickies"?

sheknows6 · January 2017

@LivLew stickies are threads that are pinned at the top of the board, the ones you always have to scroll past to get to the new threads of the day.

**dirty lurker from TTGP**

Want a personalized experience?

BMB lurkers, give me your best thread!

Re: BMB lurkers, give me your best thread!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards