I'm totally entertained this morning by June's llama thread and July's hdbd, uo thread and a weird and most likely troll thread seeking advice.
Despite also being part of June 2017, I'm also entertained by the war that's shaping up. I kinda like the idea of having a rival BMB, and I don't want it to be May
Me: 35 | DH: 46 MMC: 09/13 (9 weeks) DD: Born 8/22/14 Babies #2 & 3: Due dates 6/9/17 And my other love: writing
For those of you following the sex disappointment drama in June (which appears to be caused by 2 women obsessed with having penis-less babies)...there is talk of a sex-reveal video which shows one of the women finding out that she's having a boy, and she gives a thumbs down, etc. I can't find this video. Where is this video?
I have to admit I felt bad for this mom at first. I too was a bit sad to have another boy as I was sad to miss the things I was hoping to do with a little girl. Would never use the word disappointed though as I would NEVER be disappointed in having a healthy child. But as soon as I heard she posted a video with thumbs down and all the sad faces and everything else, I was like you lost me girl. There is a very thin line of "oh bummer I really wanted to have a girls so I can go to dance class." and "OMG my life is over I'm having 2 boys." And frankly she crossed that line in my mind.
I have to admit I felt bad for this mom at first. I too was a bit sad to have another boy as I was sad to miss the things I was hoping to do with a little girl. Would never use the word disappointed though as I would NEVER be disappointed in having a healthy child. But as soon as I heard she posted a video with thumbs down and all the sad faces and everything else, I was like you lost me girl. There is a very thin line of "oh bummer I really wanted to have a girls so I can go to dance class." and "OMG my life is over I'm having 2 boys." And frankly she crossed that line in my mind.
@schnitz9 (Just a quick aside: and I'll preface this with I'm in the same boat, preg with second and likely last child, a boy: you know boys can do tap, ballet, and jazz as good as, or better than, any girl! Maybe he wouldn't wear the frilly pink tutu but would have a blast all the same! You know that, right?)
I have to admit I felt bad for this mom at first. I too was a bit sad to have another boy as I was sad to miss the things I was hoping to do with a little girl. Would never use the word disappointed though as I would NEVER be disappointed in having a healthy child. But as soon as I heard she posted a video with thumbs down and all the sad faces and everything else, I was like you lost me girl. There is a very thin line of "oh bummer I really wanted to have a girls so I can go to dance class." and "OMG my life is over I'm having 2 boys." And frankly she crossed that line in my mind.
@schnitz9 (Just a quick aside: and I'll preface this with I'm in the same boat, preg with second and likely last child, a boy: you know boys can do tap, ballet, and jazz as good as, or better than, any girl! Maybe he wouldn't wear the frilly pink tutu but would have a blast all the same! You know that, right?)
Please tell my husband this. He refuses. I even gave him hip hop as an example and showed him how cool and successful all the back-up dancers are. NOPE!!! He refuses. Our boys have to play sports. He's a guys guy and its so frustrating at times. I was very involved in the performing arts. Even went to college for music. I took dance class for almost 17 years and competed. Also was very involved in gymnastics and cheerleading. I always wanted to share my loves and hobbies with my children. He is not having it as to him dancing, gymnastics, and cheer are for girls. It gets me so mad. I've showed him videos, articles, even introduced him to boys that do it and still a big fat no. Just makes me sad that he can share the things he loves with his boys an I can't. That's the main reason I'm struggling.....
I have to admit I felt bad for this mom at first. I too was a bit sad to have another boy as I was sad to miss the things I was hoping to do with a little girl. Would never use the word disappointed though as I would NEVER be disappointed in having a healthy child. But as soon as I heard she posted a video with thumbs down and all the sad faces and everything else, I was like you lost me girl. There is a very thin line of "oh bummer I really wanted to have a girls so I can go to dance class." and "OMG my life is over I'm having 2 boys." And frankly she crossed that line in my mind.
@schnitz9 (Just a quick aside: and I'll preface this with I'm in the same boat, preg with second and likely last child, a boy: you know boys can do tap, ballet, and jazz as good as, or better than, any girl! Maybe he wouldn't wear the frilly pink tutu but would have a blast all the same! You know that, right?)
Please tell my husband this. He refuses. I even gave him hip hop as an example and showed him how cool and successful all the back-up dancers are. NOPE!!! He refuses. Our boys have to play sports. He's a guys guy and its so frustrating at times. I was very involved in the performing arts. Even went to college for music. I took dance class for almost 17 years and competed. Also was very involved in gymnastics and cheerleading. I always wanted to share my loves and hobbies with my children. He is not having it as to him dancing, gymnastics, and cheer are for girls. It gets me so mad. I've showed him videos, articles, even introduced him to boys that do it and still a big fat no. Just makes me sad that he can share the things he loves with his boys an I can't. That's the main reason I'm struggling.....
My neighbor across the street growing up did ballet. He was the super hot older boy that I had a huge crush on growing up. He was amazing at ballet, he actually got scholarships through it, and didn't have to pay for college! He did also do "typical" boy stuff like skateboarding, blowing up GI joes with firecrackers, football, etc. In high school a bunch of the football players decided to start making fun of him in the weight room, insinuating that only someone who is gay would do ballet, etc. He turned around and told them, hey, we are all here lifting weights together. You are doing it to run around with a bunch of guys, I'm doing it to safely lift scantily clad women over my head, I'm happy with what I'm doing! Became a much repeated story around school, and everyone left him alone after that!
I'm sorry that your husband seems to be struggling with the fact that boys and girls can all have diverse and overlapping interests. Hopefully in the future, when it is a specific interest that your son has (versus a unspecified possibility that maybe he could be interested in this) he will be more open to allowing him the opportunity to explore his interests.
I have to admit I felt bad for this mom at first. I too was a bit sad to have another boy as I was sad to miss the things I was hoping to do with a little girl. Would never use the word disappointed though as I would NEVER be disappointed in having a healthy child. But as soon as I heard she posted a video with thumbs down and all the sad faces and everything else, I was like you lost me girl. There is a very thin line of "oh bummer I really wanted to have a girls so I can go to dance class." and "OMG my life is over I'm having 2 boys." And frankly she crossed that line in my mind.
@schnitz9 (Just a quick aside: and I'll preface this with I'm in the same boat, preg with second and likely last child, a boy: you know boys can do tap, ballet, and jazz as good as, or better than, any girl! Maybe he wouldn't wear the frilly pink tutu but would have a blast all the same! You know that, right?)
Please tell my husband this. He refuses. I even gave him hip hop as an example and showed him how cool and successful all the back-up dancers are. NOPE!!! He refuses. Our boys have to play sports. He's a guys guy and its so frustrating at times. I was very involved in the performing arts. Even went to college for music. I took dance class for almost 17 years and competed. Also was very involved in gymnastics and cheerleading. I always wanted to share my loves and hobbies with my children. He is not having it as to him dancing, gymnastics, and cheer are for girls. It gets me so mad. I've showed him videos, articles, even introduced him to boys that do it and still a big fat no. Just makes me sad that he can share the things he loves with his boys an I can't. That's the main reason I'm struggling.....
My neighbor across the street growing up did ballet. He was the super hot older boy that I had a huge crush on growing up. He was amazing at ballet, he actually got scholarships through it, and didn't have to pay for college! He did also do "typical" boy stuff like skateboarding, blowing up GI joes with firecrackers, football, etc. In high school a bunch of the football players decided to start making fun of him in the weight room, insinuating that only someone who is gay would do ballet, etc. He turned around and told them, hey, we are all here lifting weights together. You are doing it to run around with a bunch of guys, I'm doing it to safely lift scantily clad women over my head, I'm happy with what I'm doing! Became a much repeated story around school, and everyone left him alone after that!
I'm sorry that your husband seems to be struggling with the fact that boys and girls can all have diverse and overlapping interests. Hopefully in the future, when it is a specific interest that your son has (versus a unspecified possibility that maybe he could be interested in this) he will be more open to allowing him the opportunity to explore his interests.
I love that story about your neighbor crush! Good for him!
And I don't condone going behind your hubbs's back or anything, but can you find a dance studio, get the pricing & schedule, and say look, I'd like to give this a spin, let's try this for a few months & see if the little man enjoys himself. You two are in a partnership & he needs to compromise, not 100% shoot down your desire to share your hobbies & interests. It's ultimately about your child and being well rounded & exposed to lots of different activities, not be pigeonholed into stereotypical activities. (Tell him you did the courtesy of not shooting down all the sports stuff outright! He could repay that courtesy to you.)
Lurking, because I can't quit you guys, plus I know the mom in question who posted the video..
The video isn't on TB, it was posted on her fb page. After everything I've been through since November and losing the girls, and seeing others experience losses after me, this whole topic (and her reactions) make me sick to my stomach.
@luckyu317 I've been thinking of you. I hope you're doing well, considering. Since you know the mom in question, are you able to clarify what went down or nah? I'm more curious than anything, but completely respect her privacy as well.
@luckyu317 I've been thinking about you hoping you and fam are ok. I'm so sorry that you have to know someone who posted a video like the one the described. I hope you are in no way offended by my comments. My feelings are really in no way towards the sex of my child. For someone who had suffered a loss right before this pregnancy I consider myself lucky that the he is healthy this far. To be honest I think my issue is more with my DH and FIL who influences him. I've always known that I would love all my children no matter what sex they were. I just wish my DH would think a little more outside the box sometimes. That's just something that I'll have to work on over the years. Luckily we have time. Like I said before at first when I first read her comment I thought well maybe she's just being misunderstood and using the wrong wording (would never had said scared in finding out the sex of my child). But then as I read further she lost my support. I really do hope that she was misunderstood and it was a joke of some sorts (however don't think that's something you joke about.) Again I hope you are doing well and do wish you all the luck in future....
Thanks, ladies. We're doing okay. The holidays were rough, and I'm sure as our due date creeps up it'll be a little sad, but, we're hanging in there. I'm waiting for AF to come back, and once that happens, we'll schedule IVF#2. Thanks so much for thinking of me!
No offense taken on your part, @schnitz9. I get it, to a point. But when you hashtag the day you find out your baby is a boy as "Dooms Day", you (General you, not you personally) lose all respect from me. I know it's a sore subject for me, considering my circumstance, and I know in reality it has Nothing to do with me, but it still burns my ass.
You're lucky enough to be adding a healthy baby to your family, you don't do/say things like "No blue hearts, only Pink!", "I'll just have to adopt to guarantee my girl" and make 100 sad faces about blue confetti vs pink. Get over yourself, stop throwing a temper tantrum, and be thankful your baby is healthy. Besides, boys can wear pink, right?
@luckyu317 please tell me she didn't say that on her FB page! If she did that is disgusting and I hoped she lost friends over it. That truly is terrible. I'm so sorry if you or any other loss mom had to see something like that.
This conversation actually had me thinking as I drove home. I took many of your advice and decided to have a rational conversation with my DH after I put the little man to sleep. I sat him down and explained that just because we will have 2 boys it doesn't mean that our house has to look like a navy blue dicks sporting good store. I explained that boys and girls can all do the same things and it really isn't a big deal. Reminded him of all the male friends I have from music school and that he gets along well with. Showed him videos again of male cheerleaders stunting and male gymnasts and asked if any of his baseball teammates or any of the Carolina panthers for that matter can do any of what they were doing. He was actually impressed. I reminded him that as a half catholic half jewish family we were raising our boys to be able to choose which religion they wanted to follow when they get old and why can we do the same thing with the activities they choose to do. Also mentioned that as much as he's made jokes that if we have a girls I would have been the super involved stage mom, he was starting to sound like the crazy coach with all the "my boys are gonna have to play this and that." I told him if his father had a problem with the activities his grandsons were doing he DOESN'T HAVE TO COME!!! This is our family not his and his fathers and we have to have an equal balance.
I think what finally made him see the light is when I brought up the fact that same sex siblings need to have their own identity. My DH is an only child, his father is an only too, his mom well her family upbringing is a whole nother post. I am 7 years older than my sister. I was very accomplished growing up in performing arts. By the time my sister arrived at the middle school she started feeling the pressure that she was my younger sister. By sophomore year of high school she couldn't take it anymore and decided she no longer wanted to go to our HS anymore and asked to be sent to boarding school. I felt terrible. When my sister left she started to excel in different things than me and really found her true self. She is a wonderful artist and writer, something I will never be. My parents always wish they would have figured this out sooner. As soon as I explained this to my DH he realized that our boys need to have separate lives and interests not just for themselves, but for us as parents too.
Thanks all for your understanding and advice and hope I didn't hijack the thread too much! @luckyu317 good luck with your transfer. Please keep us updated on how things are going. I wish you, DH, and your boys all the luck in the future.....
I absolutely did not care which sex this baby was. I thought it'd be cool to have another girl so DD would have a sister and it would have been cool to give her a brother. A girl would have been nice as I have so many girl clothes from DD. But a boy is fine because all of our equipment and newborn clothes are neutral as we were Team Green last time. And if this one was a boy, one of each would be cool too as we likely won't have anymore. When we found out this one was a boy, I felt a little, very brief sadness that DD won't have a sister. She really wanted a sister and she took the brother news so well that I felt silly for any disappointment I felt. Anyway, if you are a planner like me, I think there's a moment of adjustment when you find out the sex whether you are a FtM or STM.
I absolutely did not care which sex this baby was. I thought it'd be cool to have another girl so DD would have a sister and it would have been cool to give her a brother. A girl would have been nice as I have so many girl clothes from DD. But a boy is fine because all of our equipment and newborn clothes are neutral as we were Team Green last time. And if this one was a boy, one of each would be cool too as we likely won't have anymore. When we found out this one was a boy, I felt a little, very brief sadness that DD won't have a sister. She really wanted a sister and she took the brother news so well that I felt silly for any disappointment I felt. Anyway, if you are a planner like me, I think there's a moment of adjustment when you find out the sex whether you are a FtM or STM.
I seriously could have written this word for word.
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
@stankonia2014 my son and my DH wear pink all the time. I think they look super cool in a pink button down. Then again we live in the south wear all men wear pastels year round.
@schnitz9 Tell your husband that a lot of football players are encouraged to take ballet because there's a lot of overlap in the physics of the movement; ballet helps football players become lighter on their feet and more flexible in their movements on the field.
@Squirtgun I went to college with a male ballet dancer and he was hooooooot. Really good personality, not gay. Just a nice, hot guy. Who of course had a serious girlfriend back home and they'd been dating for 5 years and we're going to get married and bla blah blah. Why do the good ones have to be so loyal?
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
@pshaortao I was in s15 I'd love to see the post you mean. We had some doozies early on. There was even a post about where all the drama mama's went once lol.
Hey, May. I'm from June. You might like to see what's going on in August17 UO thread from last week. They have one mom who is using marijuana to deal with morning sickness. And there's another mom who says its not right to only have one child and that only children are "ruined".
Hey, May. I'm from June. You might like to see what's going on in August17 UO thread from last week. They have one mom who is using marijuana to deal with morning sickness. And there's another mom who says its not right to only have one child and that only children are "ruined".
Hey, May. I'm from June. You might like to see what's going on in August17 UO thread from last week. They have one mom who is using marijuana to deal with morning sickness. And there's another mom who says its not right to only have one child and that only children are "ruined".
And it's getting good this morning
I actually just lurked over there on this thread and had to comment. The girl who tried to defend her by using the HG excuse really pissed me off. I have it for the 2nd time and I in no way would every use it. Not cool....
Re: The Alpaca Thread
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Despite also being part of June 2017, I'm also entertained by the war that's shaping up. I kinda like the idea of having a rival BMB, and I don't want it to be May
MMC: 09/13 (9 weeks)
DD: Born 8/22/14
Babies #2 & 3: Due dates 6/9/17
And my other love: writing
Which is the troll seeking advice thread? I'm super busy at work today so I can't sit and figure it out lol
I'm sorry that your husband seems to be struggling with the fact that boys and girls can all have diverse and overlapping interests. Hopefully in the future, when it is a specific interest that your son has (versus a unspecified possibility that maybe he could be interested in this) he will be more open to allowing him the opportunity to explore his interests.
And I don't condone going behind your hubbs's back or anything, but can you find a dance studio, get the pricing & schedule, and say look, I'd like to give this a spin, let's try this for a few months & see if the little man enjoys himself. You two are in a partnership & he needs to compromise, not 100% shoot down your desire to share your hobbies & interests. It's ultimately about your child and being well rounded & exposed to lots of different activities, not be pigeonholed into stereotypical activities.
(Tell him you did the courtesy of not shooting down all the sports stuff outright! He could repay that courtesy to you.)
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
@luckyu317 please tell me she didn't say that on her FB page! If she did that is disgusting and I hoped she lost friends over it. That truly is terrible. I'm so sorry if you or any other loss mom had to see something like that.
This conversation actually had me thinking as I drove home. I took many of your advice and decided to have a rational conversation with my DH after I put the little man to sleep. I sat him down and explained that just because we will have 2 boys it doesn't mean that our house has to look like a navy blue dicks sporting good store. I explained that boys and girls can all do the same things and it really isn't a big deal. Reminded him of all the male friends I have from music school and that he gets along well with. Showed him videos again of male cheerleaders stunting and male gymnasts and asked if any of his baseball teammates or any of the Carolina panthers for that matter can do any of what they were doing. He was actually impressed. I reminded him that as a half catholic half jewish family we were raising our boys to be able to choose which religion they wanted to follow when they get old and why can we do the same thing with the activities they choose to do. Also mentioned that as much as he's made jokes that if we have a girls I would have been the super involved stage mom, he was starting to sound like the crazy coach with all the "my boys are gonna have to play this and that." I told him if his father had a problem with the activities his grandsons were doing he DOESN'T HAVE TO COME!!! This is our family not his and his fathers and we have to have an equal balance.
I think what finally made him see the light is when I brought up the fact that same sex siblings need to have their own identity. My DH is an only child, his father is an only too, his mom well her family upbringing is a whole nother post. I am 7 years older than my sister. I was very accomplished growing up in performing arts. By the time my sister arrived at the middle school she started feeling the pressure that she was my younger sister. By sophomore year of high school she couldn't take it anymore and decided she no longer wanted to go to our HS anymore and asked to be sent to boarding school. I felt terrible. When my sister left she started to excel in different things than me and really found her true self. She is a wonderful artist and writer, something I will never be. My parents always wish they would have figured this out sooner. As soon as I explained this to my DH he realized that our boys need to have separate lives and interests not just for themselves, but for us as parents too.
Thanks all for your understanding and advice and hope I didn't hijack the thread too much! @luckyu317 good luck with your transfer. Please keep us updated on how things are going. I wish you, DH, and your boys all the luck in the future.....
I absolutely did not care which sex this baby was. I thought it'd be cool to have another girl so DD would have a sister and it would have been cool to give her a brother. A girl would have been nice as I have so many girl clothes from DD. But a boy is fine because all of our equipment and newborn clothes are neutral as we were Team Green last time. And if this one was a boy, one of each would be cool too as we likely won't have anymore. When we found out this one was a boy, I felt a little, very brief sadness that DD won't have a sister. She really wanted a sister and she took the brother news so well that I felt silly for any disappointment I felt. Anyway, if you are a planner like me, I think there's a moment of adjustment when you find out the sex whether you are a FtM or STM.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
If boys can wear pleather leggings, then they can wear pink, amirite?
P.S. I'm not a super creepy M17 stalker, we know each other.
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
Holy crap; that poor kid is only 15.
@schnitz9 Tell your husband that a lot of football players are encouraged to take ballet because there's a lot of overlap in the physics of the movement; ballet helps football players become lighter on their feet and more flexible in their movements on the field.
https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/can-ballet-lessons-improve-football-skills-2944.html
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Also, July thinks it's us or June just trying to punk them on one of our slow days... which one of you ladies did it?!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Dang, wish I'd thought of it... J/k
MMC: 09/13 (9 weeks)
DD: Born 8/22/14
Babies #2 & 3: Due dates 6/9/17
And my other love: writing
I think my brain just exploded.
Sometimes I forget I'm lurking and want to love tit to multiple comments... then I remember I'm just lurking
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
I actually just lurked over there on this thread and had to comment. The girl who tried to defend her by using the HG excuse really pissed me off. I have it for the 2nd time and I in no way would every use it. Not cool....