Unpopular Opinion (UO) Thursday

Re: Unpopular Opinion (UO) Thursday

• virginiaunicorn11 member

  January 2017

  I think pre-natal nutrition is completely downplayed on these boards. I'm surprised by how much women here encourage each other to eat total crap. (Not the occasional treat - the constant fast food and lack of fresh produce.) I'd like to see us hold ourselves to a higher standard, though I know that needs to be balanced with support. I'd think attention to diet is more important than nursery theme, but that kind of stuff seems to get more mental space for many women. 

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• mj8215 member

  January 2017

  Yasss girl @virginiaunicorn11
  
  here are mine:
  1. I'm very critical towards the promotion of "natural"/"unmediated"/"MD-free" birth. I realize women have been giving birth for millennia without modern medicine but it's not working for me as an argument. There's so many things that could potentially go wrong. If any IRL friend said she wants to give birth anywhere that's not a well established hospital equipped with a neonatal ICU, I'd do everything to talk her out of it.
  2. The "pregnancy brain" comments make me cringe. It's a concept that has been scientifically disproven and in my opinion promotes sexism especially in the workplace. I wish women would stop contributing to it - sexism does not need extra help from women, it's thriving on its own. 

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017 edited January 2017

  You should wear a shirt in your HDBD pic. I hope that's not actually unpopular. 

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• satsumasandlemons member

  January 2017

  @virginiaunicorn11 I don't eat fast food or junky food (I can't even eat wrapped candy when I'm pregnant because I think of all the preservatives and chemicals and can't go through with it) and we eat well with lots of produce and fresh food and whole ingredients and I'll be the first to encourage when it comes to food, but I cannot bring myself to judge if fast food is the go-to choice, there are so many factors that go into choosing fast food and to place more expectation on a woman and her body is just unnecessary to me. 
  I do think we could encourage healthy eating through weekly meal plans and check ins, and have that information easily available to people - I feel like that has really helped my bmb into healthier choices... just a thought! 

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• satsumasandlemons member

  January 2017

  @mj8215 it really irritates me when people say natural when they really just mean vaginal. Giving birth is a natural process. My cs does not make childbirth any less natural, it just means she didn't exit through the vagina. 
  
  

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• satsumasandlemons member

  January 2017

  @AdaByron I think we' re being trolled

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  Unmedicated birth can still happen in a well established hospital with a NICU. I see nothing wrong with that. MD-free is a whole different story. I think "natural birth" tends to mean a lot of different things, so I try to avoid it. I think of you're going to speak out for or against any birth practices, you need to be specific. 

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• JmUDuuuukes 07 member

  January 2017

  @virginiaunicorn11 I don't think thats an issue limited to prenatal, it's a issue with America in general. Not sure a message board is going to fix it. I do wonder how many people generally try to eat better when pregnant though- I would guess it's more than we think. And I also think that people talk up their bad habits on message boards to seem outlandish vs talking about the fresh beet salad they made for lunch.
  

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  UO: I don't understand the appeal of Lilly Pulitzer, or why anyone would pay those prices for those clothes. 

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• caribbeanmama-2 member

  January 2017

  How many threads are we going to have about baby's sex?  Can we just have one.

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  Another thing to remember at this stage, a lot of us just need to eat whatever we can keep down in 1st tri. I have had terrible food aversions. But once I get my 2nd tri energy, I'll get back to meal planning and make healthier choices.
  

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• satsumasandlemons member

  January 2017

  AdaByron said:

  UO: I don't understand the appeal of Lilly Pulitzer, or why anyone would pay those prices for those clothes. 

  I think these are the same women who dress their daughters in Matilda Jane clothes - I'm sorry I don't see how anyone could pay those prices for patchwork flared pants

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• tuxielove93 member

  January 2017

  @AdaByron true that. I'm a WFPB vegan, but I was eating soy cheese and tofurkey sandwiches and frozen burritos and tater tots in the worst part of my morning sickness. Oh and craving Lays potato chips. It was awful, and probably kept me feeling awful, but I couldn't even stomach pasta or rice, let alone a vegetable of any variety. Thankfully now I'm pretty much back to eating normally, and the morning sickness is mostly gone. It was junk/processed food or no food for like a month there though. 

  Hubby and Me
  Friends since 2008
  Started dating: July 1st, 2013
  Engaged: July 1st, 2014
  Married: July 1st, 2016
  R born: July 8th, 2017
  N born: June 30th, 2019
  Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
  (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)

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• alcrimmins member

  January 2017

  I can't stand seeing kids older than 1-2 dressed in layers and layers of ruffles on their pants and shirts drives me bonkers. Please leave the ruffles for the babies. 
  
  Pic for clarification:
  
  

  IMG_5607.PNG 1.3M

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• plumpous member

  January 2017

  My friend's wife wanted a home birth and I was like Noooo why? It's really dangerous! But he said they hired a medically trained midwife with all relevant equipment and she knows what to do if things go unplanned. So I think it's probably not as careless as we assume. I still would never do this though. Sometimes I wonder if they couldn't afford the hospital bill..... 
  
  My UO is that TV is fine! So many people are shocked that I let my daughter watch TV. She's 15 months old. Sometimes I just need a break and those shows teach words and stuff I'd never really think about. It's all geared for her young age. I just don't like to feel like a terrible mom for giving screen time. Of course I limit it and I don't do it every day. 

  
  
  
  

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• longhairdntcare member

  January 2017

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  

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• virginiaunicorn11 member

  January 2017

  AdaByron said:

  You should wear a shirt in your HDBD pic. I hope that's not actually unpopular. 

  Meh. I don't see the big deal. I find the pearl clutching over bare bellies very funny. I think the real offense isn't the belly, but that it's frowned upon in this community - and the people doing it haven't tried to integrate into the community to know that.
  
  If you are telling me about your poop, your discharge, your nipples, and you tsk tsk a bare belly....We don't see eye to eye on this one.
  
  (this isn't aimed at You you, @AdaByron)

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• glitterfish-2 member

  January 2017

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  
  
  Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin' 

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• virginiaunicorn11 member

  January 2017

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

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• star_beagle member

  January 2017

  I think people that judge me for what I eat while pregnant (or while not pregnant) because it's not organic or natural or free of preservatives or whatever need to get over themselves and stop trying to control me and put me down. I don't need to explain myself or my decisions to anyone and I am certainly fed up with society's constant bombardment that I'm not good enough just because of how I look.

  Married: 10/13/2013

  TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin; BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017; DD born 6/29/2017
  

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  @virginiaunicorn11 I really don't mind bare bellies that much either. If it's necessary for you to lift your shirt to see your miniscule bump at this stage, go for it. 
  
  However, it is never going to be necessary to completely remove your shirt. Do not want to see your boobs,  even if you are covering your nipple with your hand.

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• longhairdntcare member

  January 2017

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

  June lurkers were probably losing their shit at the discussion yesterday lol

  

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• Dcwtada member

  January 2017

  Eh nudity doesn't bother me, not saying I want to see schlongs flying around but side boob isnt offensive to me in the least. I think we tend to be too prudish
  
  My UO - I am a SAHM mom and I absolutely hate when I see posts or articles about how hard SAHMs work with all of our responsibilities broken down (I.e. Maid, chauffeur, accountant and tutor) or what we would be paid if it was a salaried job. I know the intent is to show others that SAHMs work hard and don't sit around all day eating bon-bons but I always feel the more you try to justify things the more it cheapens it. I have been on both sides of the fence, I was a working professional, a working mom and now a stay at home mom - I don't need to convince others of my worth and seeing all the articles makes me roll my eyes. 

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• virginiaunicorn11 member

  January 2017

  lfk2013 said:

  I think people that judge me for what I eat while pregnant (or while not pregnant) because it's not organic or natural or free of preservatives or whatever need to get over themselves and stop trying to control me and put me down. I don't need to explain myself or my decisions to anyone and I am certainly fed up with society's constant bombardment that I'm not good enough just because of how I look.

  Guess I hit a nerve. No one said squat about beauty standards. Nutrition has zero to do with how you look. 
  
  You wanna shove McDonald's down your throat all day er'yday? Cool. You do you, lady. 
  
  

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• realgoodthing member

  January 2017

  I thankfully don't see it here that much, but it drives me insane when people use sex and gender interchangeably. Sex is biological, gender is a social construct. I have trans friends and people who conflate the two drive me nuts (this is also why I hate gender reveal parties).

  TTC #1: 4/16
  BFP #1: 5/16
  MMC at 8 weeks: 6/16
  BFP #2: 10/16 
  Sweet baby boy arrived 7/7/17!

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• star_beagle member

  January 2017

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  lfk2013 said:

  I think people that judge me for what I eat while pregnant (or while not pregnant) because it's not organic or natural or free of preservatives or whatever need to get over themselves and stop trying to control me and put me down. I don't need to explain myself or my decisions to anyone and I am certainly fed up with society's constant bombardment that I'm not good enough just because of how I look.

  Guess I hit a nerve. No one said squat about beauty standards. Nutrition has zero to do with how you look. 
  
  You wanna shove McDonald's down your throat all day er'yday? Cool. You do you, lady. 
  
  

  Thanks for once again confirming that you know nothing about me. 
  
  It's not what you say, but how you say it.
  
  I'll let you get back to judging and laughing at all the people who eat things with preservatives now.

  Married: 10/13/2013

  TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin; BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017; DD born 6/29/2017
  

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• glitterfish-2 member

  January 2017

  Rae1 said:

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

  June lurkers were probably losing their shit at the discussion yesterday lol

  My UO is that I definitely don't think we are the most drama-filled BMB, although we do seem to be a magnet for BSC randos.

  
  
  Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin' 

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• supermom83 member

  January 2017

  My UO: Don't be a mommy martyr. Just don't. I used to be one, so I know the drill and I know how hard it is to stop that cycle. I judge because I know first hand the mentality behind it and all the reasoning one does in their head to keep doing it. It took some tough love from my sisters to help me see what I was doing. I was livid at them, I was indignant they said something, I was convinced they just didn't understand my situation and what *I* value, blah blah blah. But in hindsight, they were absolutely right. I was making myself miserable, it was me all along, I was the reason I was so unhappy and never got a break because I wanted to be a mommy martyr.... 
  
  So word of advice, just don't. Don't think you're the only one who can do 100% of things for baby, for the house, for life, because only you know how to do it "right". Let go a little, let others take control sometimes (husband, MIL, mother, friend, sister, etc.), see how they do, you will sometimes be pleasantly surprised. Help guide people on how to help you, get out and actively try to find a mom friend who can help you once and a while, hire a babysitter (if you have the money) once and a while to help give you a break, take control of what you can take control of because there is so much crap in life that we can't control, so do your best to control what you can to help guide you to happiness and away from the mommy guilt that leads to mommy martyrdom. It's not worth it. None of this is easy, I know because I've been there. It's hard, but it's necessary.  

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• longhairdntcare member

  January 2017

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

  June lurkers were probably losing their shit at the discussion yesterday lol

  My UO is that I definitely don't think we are the most drama-filled BMB, although we do seem to be a magnet for BSC randos.

  Oh no, I agree 100%. I don't think they thought the discussion yetserday was dramatic. I think they were probably surprised/upset that it WASN'T dramatic. I have read some of their sex preference drama and there are some ladies over there with strong feelings regarding the topic. 

  

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  Dcwtada said:

  Eh nudity doesn't bother me, not saying I want to see schlongs flying around but side boob isnt offensive to me in the least. I think we tend to be too prudish
  

  Some of us are logging in from our job at Catholic School. Side boob is not ok. And if I ever posted that photo of myself on a public forum, I could be fired. 

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017

  Rae1 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

  June lurkers were probably losing their shit at the discussion yesterday lol

  My UO is that I definitely don't think we are the most drama-filled BMB, although we do seem to be a magnet for BSC randos.

  Oh no, I agree 100%. I don't think they thought the discussion yetserday was dramatic. I think they were probably surprised/upset that it WASN'T dramatic. I have read some of their sex preference drama and there are some ladies over there with strong feelings regarding the topic. 

  The sex disappointment stuff in June got extra heated bc some of those people knew each other from a previous BMB and already didn't like each other. 

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• dancegurl1118 member

  January 2017

  I just wrote a novel on sex disappointment and then deleted it because it's not a UO...it's just stirring the pot. I didn't get pregnant to have a specific sex. I got pregnant to have a living child which is all I want out of this. 

  TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.

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• longhairdntcare member

  January 2017

  AdaByron said:

  Rae1 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  virginiaunicorn11 said:

  GlitterFish said:

  Rae1 said:

  All the talk yesterday of sex preference had me a little irked. I get having a general preference or wanting it to be one or the other. But people that legitimately are disappointed when they find out it isn't what they wanted...I just think that can be a little insensitive to all the parents that struggled (or are still struggling) to just conceive. 

  And mine is that I don't think wanting one or the other has anything at all to do with other people. I don't think I have to feel a certain way (about anything) because some people have it worse. I am all about my own #firstworldproblems! lol
  

  I was THISCLOSE to saying "please no more discussion of sex preference just this once" in my original UO post. (Or am I thinking of June where this comes up ad nauseum?)

  June lurkers were probably losing their shit at the discussion yesterday lol

  My UO is that I definitely don't think we are the most drama-filled BMB, although we do seem to be a magnet for BSC randos.

  Oh no, I agree 100%. I don't think they thought the discussion yetserday was dramatic. I think they were probably surprised/upset that it WASN'T dramatic. I have read some of their sex preference drama and there are some ladies over there with strong feelings regarding the topic. 

  The sex disappointment stuff in June got extra heated bc some of those people knew each other from a previous BMB and already didn't like each other. 

  AH - didn't know that. That makes sense. 

  

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• LoveLee85 member

  January 2017

  My truly UO is I think all the doctor visits are mostly unnecessary, unless you are having issues or have questions!! 99% of my last pregnancy visits were a waste of money and time. I never had questions. Everything always went smoothly. If I have a question, I'll call. If I have a 'gut feeling' I'll call then ask to be seen.
  When My visits consist of:
  doctor: any questions?
  me: nope.
  then small talk for a minute and the appointment is over.
  I can weigh myself at home. I get they want to monitor, but it's so expensive when it's not necessary and I'm/baby are fine. Like I said, unpopular opinion. Lol. We also have good health insurance and are paying the equivalent of another mortgage payment to the obgyn every month! I'm a SAHM and DH makes good money but it's still annoying!! 

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• PurplePoppy424 member

  January 2017

  Barring life/death/health circumstances (I.e. Vaccinations and car seat safety) I think a lot of the crap people argue over on the internet is stupid. The general majority of parenting topics are personal preference, but people beat you over the head with their opinions on stuff. 

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• Dcwtada member

  January 2017

  @supermom83 I love your post. I have a SIL who won't let anyone watch her child but complains that she never leaves the house and has no life. One of the best things my husband made me do (even though I wanted to kill him at the time) was go on a three day vacation sans baby about 8 weeks after I gave birth to my first because I could have easily gone down the same route and it gave me perspective. I absolutely loved your take on it coming from the other side! 
  
  @AdaByron then I would suggest you not look at a thread dedicated to woman posting their bodies at your work. Criticizing others when they have not done anything wrong or violated any rules because of your situation bothers me more than side boob. 

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• caribbeanmama-2 member

  January 2017 edited January 2017

  @DCwtada can your husband call my husband?  
  
  I disagree on the side boob, top boob, no shirt, being okay as an intro post to a bunch of internet strangers trying to build community.  It's just straight up tacky.  I have several nudes in my home - I'm not a prude.  

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• AdaByron member

  January 2017 edited January 2017

  @Dcwtada you really aren't bothered by that photo? I'm probably one of the least prudish people I know and I thought it was horribly distasteful. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that opinion. 
  ETA and I'm not criticising her because of my situation. I'm criticising because it's fucking tacky. 
  
  Before today, I have never seen anything in an HDBD thread that would make me hesitate to open it at work. 

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• Dcwtada member

  January 2017

  Lmao @caribbeanmama I never said it wasn't tacky! It just doesn't bother me. My first thought was she was an attention seeker. But lord I couldn't go on the internets if I was trying to avoid that.
  

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• PurplePoppy424 member

  January 2017

  I seriously feel like I missed something here. I just put the pieces together after reading the HDBD posts but is side boob really all that was showing? They already took down the photo. 

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