FFFC//Mommy Confessions 12.30

cayaylonglegs · December 2016

What have you done lately that your not proud of?

cayaylonglegs · December 2016

Idk if this is unpopular or the norm but LO lives in zip up sleepers. She legit has worn real outfits maybe 3 times in her 4 week life.

kaitmb88 · December 2016

I'm having huge guilt over keeping up with breastfeeding. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but my supply didn't meet her demand. I should have pumped a lot but I have been slacking on pumping and have been formula feeding more than I would like. Having some serious mom guilt over this and now I think I'm drying up and panicking. I know fed is best whether it's breast or formula but I'm beating myself up alot over my laziness

slartybartfast · December 2016

@kaitmb88 - I weaned DS totally and like 2 weeks later brought my supply back (we had a world of digestive issues) using pumping power hours (pump 10 minutes, break 10 for an hour or two at a time). It seemed like it wasn't working but then... it did... something to try if you're really looking for things!

Here's some other things but they do not sound like they are for the faint of heart...
https://kellymom.com/hot-topics/pumping_decrease/

ETA - it took me 3 days of power pumping 1-2 times a night to get the milk back

BabyRobbinsAdventure · December 2016

I have a couple of nursing tanks I've been sleeping in since they don't have the clasps and are super comfortable. Totally got milk all over one of them, I'm talking puddle status, and didn't wash it before I wore it again last night. Oh well..

karmba · December 2016

@cayaylonglegs I do the same thing. But DS doesn't really fit in any of his real outfits yet, so that's my excuse.

My confession is that I bought a few bags of discount Christmas candy and that's basically what I've been eating while DH is at work. I eat real food for dinner...

slartybartfast · December 2016

I think because I'm always caught up in something toddler or house or food related, I keep missing it when DD poops meaning she sits in dirty diapers a little longer than I'd like. So I've been covering her with diaper cream instead of being more vigilant about listening for poop.

cgss11 · December 2016

We had sex for the first time in a very, very long time. It was awkward because baby was awake in the room with us, and it was just eh. DH is happy though.

phoenix870509 · December 2016

Went out to see Rogue One last night and left DS with my parents. Also left a bottle and 3oz of breast milk I pumped and froze, just in case. Well, my parents had to give him the bottle, even though I fed him right before we left. Growth spurt means cluster feeding. He drank nearly the whole 3 ozs in a 1.5 hour period. I feel guilty we had to give him a bottle when he's been EBF, but he took to the bottle just fine and latched onto me when we got back. I can't help feeling guilty he had a bottle though. But I'm relieved he latched back onto the boob no problems, that really was my biggest fear.

ashleaf2018 · December 2016

Feeling serious mom guilt that I don't respond to a pump anymore at all, over a 6 hour period I only pump 1.5 oz. So I am always faced with the burden of if I leave Rhett with someone, I have to leave formula with him. And in a perfect world I never would leave him but let's be honest, the world isn't perfect and sometimes I just want to go to walmart by myself. Literally crying over this right now.

penelope4612 · December 2016

@phoenix870509 - about a week ago I decided to have my first drink. I waited until after LO ate and then had 1/2 a cider. He was hungry 30 mins later. I didn't have any pumped milk so I had to give him formula. I felt terrible and it definitely ruined any enjoyment around having a drink. It's super frustrating. I feel you.

capps42613 · December 2016

@ashleaf2018 I feel your pain.. every time I pump I get 1/2 oz total from both breasts! It's very frustrating and I wonder why everyday if it's even still worth it. Obviously he is mostly formula fed bc I can't keep up with him. I just throw in whatever I can, when I can.

ava.vaudine · December 2016

Im so glad there is so much breast feeding guilt! I am having to supplement with formula. She literally feeds for hours and I just can't have her on my breast that long as it becomes exhausting, overwhelming, and down right starts to hurt. I feel like I have failed in some aspect. DD1 was formula fed and she is just fine. Didn't feel this way with her so I don't know why this time is so upsetting. Just feel like I should be dedicating more of my time to making this work but trying to keep a household together- chores, 4 year old dd1, dh with herniated back disks, you get the idea. Booo.

princesslockness · December 2016

penelope4612 said:

@phoenix870509 - about a week ago I decided to have my first drink. I waited until after LO ate and then had 1/2 a cider. He was hungry 30 mins later. I didn't have any pumped milk so I had to give him formula. I felt terrible and it definitely ruined any enjoyment around having a drink. It's super frustrating. I feel you.

Why? Milk alcohol level is the same as your blood levels. If you can drive, you can nurse/pump.

sourlemon · December 2016

Fffc1: I had half a glass of wine last night before pumping. I'm not worried.

Fffc2: I have no guilt over supplementing with formula and eventually switching to it. Dd1 was 100% formula fed. She's super smart. Dd2 is getting breast milk while I can...but I know there will be a point where I'm just done pumping. And I have no guilt.

Fffc3: I pump at midnight. Baby wakes about 2 to eat. I don't hear her at all even though she's 2 feet from me. DH has been getting up to feed her. No guilt there either! He always wakes me up by turning the light on so I can't sleep through it all but I don't get out of bed lol

zubenescamali · December 2016

LO poops about 12 times a day. I'm encouraging DH to bond by "letting" him change 90% of the poopy diapers.

squiddy224 · December 2016

Amen to the zip up sleepers and the breastfeeding guilt! Little Miss always needs supplemented with additional formula every time we nurse. Pumping will generally get me about an ounce each time, so I'm not ahead at all with storing breastmilk, because she will usually get whatever I pumped with her overnight feed. And she's only worn "regular clothes" a handful of times (mostly when we know company is coming, but we did put her in her Christmas outfit to take some pictures by the tree!)

penelope4612 · December 2016

@Kate08Young - sadly, I felt buzzed. Maybe my FFFC should be that I get a buzz from 1/2 a drink?

penelope4612 · December 2016

Also, LOs umbilical cord stump fell off and I can't find it. That will be a gross present for us to find some day.

yellingbanana · December 2016

1. I had half a glass of wine in Christmas, i was immediately buzzed. I did not pump and dump, I wouldn't unless I had more than 1 drink an hour. It just seems like a waste when it's such a small amount of alcohol.

2. I had McDonald's the other day. I did not pump and dump, I feel McDonald's is probably worse than a half glass of wine.

dmontgo · December 2016

Some kids were trying to sell me some candy for a fundraiser yesterday and knocked on the door. I told them I would love to buy some, but I have diabetes. Sorry.

I don't have diabetes. I just A) didn't want to pay &

trying to avoid excess sugars so I DON'T get diabeetus.

dmontgo · December 2016

Also, I BF, pump, and supplement with formula! *insert shock here*
Ashton is getting chunky finally so I give myself pats on the back.

princesslockness · December 2016

L & I (mostly me) have watched all 52 episodes of Puss in boots on Netflix in the last 24 hrs. Definitely entertaining and a needed change from All Hail King Julian & Phineas & Ferb.

jandd2014 · December 2016

I didn't take any pictures of DD on Christmas and I'm considering staging a few now. The cute 'my first Christmas' outfit still fits and our tree is still up.

Kacie209 · December 2016

DS wears the same outfit 2-3 times a week. Unless we're going somewhere, I see no point to change his clothes unless they're majorly spilled on with spit up, which he wears a bib for most feedings so it's not so bad. I am the same with what I wear around the house... it's basically what I wore to bed. Unless he spits up on me, my shirt usually doesn't get changed.

I started off with low supply, so my breastfeeding has pretty much stopped and he's exclusively formula fed. I tried, but even when I went to a couple LC appointments, both boobs combined only gave about 20-25ml, which wasn't nearly enough to feed him without any supplement anyway at that point in is young life. Plus, he started off with horrible latching to the point where I was in so much pain that I didn't want hi near me and would just pump. He's better now that he's older, and nipple confusion isn't an issues, but sometimes still has bad latches even if I give him a boob just to calm him down, and nothing else works.

I still pumped, have been (lazily) taking Mother's Milk pills, and making lactation cookies to help. I thought about doing that pumping schedule that @slartybartfast mentioned, but can only do at night once DH is home. And again, had other stuff to do. He's gaining weight just fine and obviously getting something to eat. But, even if I pump some so he's getting some BM, that would make me feel better. I may have to try that schedule this weekend with DH home. Some is better than nothing.

I've had 4 drinks since he was born 5 weeks ago. My first one (Moscow Mule) was burnt, so that was the only drink I had since I was feeling it after a few sips. I had a pint of beer last night and that actually didn't make me feel buzzed at all... so maybe it's only liquor drinks. IDK. I like drinking, but after not doing it for 9 months... it's not that big of a deal if I continue to not drink.

maamawaabangi · December 2016

I've been contemplating using a "false alarm" to get my parents to watch our kids for a night... just to some alone/quite time. I should probably just ask them to do it straight up. I'm just a frazzled mess!

Christinaruth74 · December 2016

I already posted this in the NYs thread but I am having a beer tonight. It feels so wrong for me to even consider having a full beer.. it's hard to remember that I'm not pregnant anymore.

Also, I've been wearing the same pj pants for a few days now and they smell god awful.

I also hadnt put on deodorant for a few days and caught a whiff of myself earlier... not pleasant.

and the big one: we were on the fence with a name but by the end of it all really felt like Willa won. Then we got home and DD1 insists her baby sister's name is Mabel and I can't help but wonder if we made the wrong choice. I love both names and I won't go back now, but there's still this lingering "what if we didn't choose the 'right' one??"

ea301 · January 2017

I already want a vacation from being a new mom. And i feel horrible for saying that.

tinattt23 · January 2017

Still getting the hang of baby boy diaper changes. He peed on the dog. I just wiped the dog with a baby wipe and called it good.

Lisa3379 · January 2017

@ea301 I hear ya. It's hard. I feel bad for wanting to go out here and there just for a break. I love coming back and seeing my son, but a break here and there is definitely nice.

ea301 · January 2017

@lisa3379 im glad its not just me. I keep wondering when motherhood will feel rewarding instead of just being f'ing hard. My boobs hurt constantly, i am exhausted, and i feel like something is wrong with me that i am not loving every minute because I know how fortunate i am to have her, and how much worse it could be. Its vicious cycle... and i know itll get better, i just want to know how long itll take.

sourlemon · January 2017

@ea301 I still feel that way sometimes with my 2.5yo...especially on bad days!

I can honestly say for me things changed when dd1 was 3/4 months old. They can support their own darn head, really start to be interactive, start to play better, and start to "be impressive". Until then, for me, every day was just hard.

Obviously though some days are still just hard. Toddlers suck. People tell me they become more human at 4. We shall see.

zubenescamali · January 2017

Age 3 and 4 is good. They start learning empathy and stuff. My four year old is like a constant ball of entertainment. She still is hard sometimes, but not crying for 4 hours straight, can't tell you what's wrong hard.
That was LO tonight. We are on another level of tired.

DiFazette · January 2017

@ea301 agree with @sourlemon hat things look up at the few month mark. I, too, am not obsessed with the newborn days. Yes, they're squishy and adorable but I really enjoy the interaction that starts around 2/3 months.

@sourlemon I can't imagine life getting better than 3 with DS1. He gets humor, has empathy, tells the best stores, is somewhat independent and communicates so well. Yes, we still have meltdowns and battle of will daily, but 3 has been amazing so far. Hang in there!

yellingbanana · January 2017

I second what @DiFazette said

zubenescamali · January 2017

I keep calling DD3 by my DD2's name. DD2 keeps giving me death glares.

Sharkey · January 2017

I have a glass or two of wine a few nights a week and am EBF. No shame.

caffeinenut · January 2017

I no longer nurse. I do pump and feed, as well as supplement once or twice a day with a formula feeding. At first I felt guilty about not nursing anymore. But the more I thought about it, the better it felt. my LO had latching problems and it was very painful to nurse. She never got enough milk, and would always fall asleep. Now she eats until she is full and has gained weight. I felt guilty at first because I felt that not nursing meant I was a bad mother. Now I realize feeding my LO is more important than the manner in which I feed.

gigemily09 · January 2017

It makes me feel so much better reading everyone else's guilt posts.... I was starting to feel like a horrible FTM. I have a low milk supply due to IGT can't even pump enough for him so he's been on formula since day 3, sometimes I find myself missing my child free life and feel really horrible about it, and I find it most frustrating that he can't tell me what's wrong when he's upset. This motherhood thing is hard AF, why does no one ever tell you that?!