Community› The Bump Message Boards› TTC After a Loss
TTC After a Loss
New Discussion

Testing Anxiety/AF arrival after MC/CP

dragonfly87-2dragonfly87-2 member
in TTC After a Loss
Greetings All. 

I am a few weeks after my CP and we decided to try this cycle. AF in the next few days (not 100% how long my luteal phase is because I got my CP the first cycle off Mirena). But for whatever reason, I cannot get up the courage to take a damn test. I tested like crazy before and now I am balking for fear of disappointment. I don't have any real symptoms (other than frequent peeing, constipation), so I am pretty sure I am out this cycle, but for the life of me I cannot test.

I was trying to temp, but my sleep has been wildly erratic for the past 5 days so I can't temp at a normal time given I wake up every 45 min-3 hours. My plan is to only test if AF doesn't show up, but even then, I don't know how long I will wait for it. 

Lastly, given this is the first cycle post-CP, I am feeling very depressed. I keep thinking about the milestones that should be happening now and coming up soon (ultra sounds, finding out sex) and I am just really sad. I am not really sure what to do or feel about it.

Did anyone else go through this? I am just genuinely curious and can't talk with anyone in real life about this.

Thanks for any responses.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Testing Anxiety/AF arrival after MC/CP

  • splashmountainsplashmountain member
    I don't have any advice for you, @dragonfly87 I just wish you strength. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sure this is a very hard time for you. 

    Hugs.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • laeberge3laeberge3 member
    Hugs to you @dragonfly87.  Remind me again, how many DPO are you?  I'm sorry that the thought of testing is causing anxiety.  I have had two CPs in a row, so I get that feeling.  For me, it's just overcome by my fear that if I do get a BFP and need progesterone, I need to know like right.now.  That's not rational, but what is when it comes to TTCAL?  I wish you strength as well.  I was depressed after my MC earlier this year but with time it will lessen. Milestones or important dates will be tough - Christmas Eve mass was especially so for me, but hopefully your rainbow is right around the corner! :smile:
    Me: 35     DH: 37
    BFP: 1.6.16 | MC: 2.17.16
    BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
    BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
    BFP:  1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17 <3
    BFP:  9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19 <3
    BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
    BFP: 11.11.21 | EDD 7.24.22 

     

    Report Reply
  • dragonfly87-2dragonfly87-2 member
    @laeberge3 I am 14dpo and I think my LPI is either 14 or 15 days. I am not sure though if the CP might have changed it and that's the only post BC LP I have right now. 

    I guess I am figuring if AF shows tomorrow or Saturday, no need to test. My initial thought too was that if I found out right away, then maybe I could get progesterone tested...but I am on vacation and no where near my doc, so that wouldn't help. 
    Report Reply
  • dragonfly87-2dragonfly87-2 member
    Well, I broke down and tested this afternoon on a dollar tree test (14 dpo) and a 2 hour hold. Stark white bfn. I am crushed and want to cry. I had a feeling it would be negative, but it just hurts more than I expected. I didn't expect to have such an emotional reaction to a bfn. Just waiting for AF to arrive now.
    Report Reply
  • MimoCaMimoCa member
    Sorry for the BFN :(
    Report Reply
  • splashmountainsplashmountain member
    So sorry @dragonfly87 fx for next cycle.
    Report Reply
  • SoonToBeMommaHoweSoonToBeMommaHowe member
    So sorry for the BFN @dragonfly87 <3
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"