Waiting... waiting... waiting some more.... — The Bump
Working Moms

Waiting... waiting... waiting some more....

Hi all, 

Apologies if this isn't the right place for this post. I'll start by acknowledging that I know there's probably still plenty of time to start a family, but I am really struggling to reconcile desperately wanting to start a family, our desire to relocate back to the Pittsburgh area, and moving forward in my career path. I am a teacher and we relocated 5 years ago so that I could get the necessary teaching experience to secure a job back home (the teaching market is pretty saturated and honestly there are less than a dozen jobs posted in Western PA per year for my certification area). I've been aggressive about applying and have made it to several second and third-round interviews,, but alas, here we are five years later still waiting for the right opportunity to settle down and start our lives as a family. 

Though we've discussed settling for what we have and staying here to start our family (I do love my school and actually quite a few of my family members have also relocated South and live pretty close), every time we visit "home" we seriously regret ever moving to Florida (mainly due to lack of connection to community here, high cost of housing, and the climate). We are both on the same page about wanting to move, but since it's always been my job that keeps us here, I am really starting to feel guilty and feel more pressure to consider alternatives. It breaks my heart to think about leaving teaching. I love my students and I take such pride in my classroom, but it's starting to feel like such a heavy sacrifice and our patience is really running out. As my husband's 30th birthday looms closer, the question about when we just stop waiting and just make a drastic change to move forward is now a nightly discussion and it's killing me. I am having such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the pieces just aren't all falling into place like I hoped they would (I know, it's life, but it's hard to accept!) 

I'm not sure what I'm even looking for here... the wisdom to make the "right" choice I suppose. Anyone have a crystal ball? ;-) 

High School Teacher Reluctant Floridian * Steelers Fan 

Family info in Spoiler

Married 6/2013
DS 11/2017
MMC 10/2019 @ 12 weeks 
Planning to try for our rainbow 01/2020


Re: Waiting... waiting... waiting some more....

  • Sorry you're struggling with this. I'll let you know a secret though... there's never a perfect time. There's always some theoretical better time for anything, especially a decision as big as starting a family. If you feel like you're both ready to start a family and have the financial means to do it, then go for it! Kids are mobile, so if your dream job becomes available, you can move them (trust me, I'm a navy wife that just moved my 2 month old across the USA).

    If you're looking for support, there's a board for other ladies trying to get pregnant and I believe they even have a thread for people that are still benched for one reason or another. You can learn a lot from them. I hope that's the pep talk you needed. Good luck!
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Are you searching just using PA educator? I think some districts avoid posting there because they don't want the flood of applicants. Jobs not posted on PA educator have popped up on district websites. 
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  • Thank you ladies for the input. I've heard similar wisdom about never being 100% for perfect timing, and I know deep downthat's the truth... but what a plunge to take when the future is so uncertain. Ultimately though, I think our feelings of readiness are winning out (even my husband at this point is getting impatient). 

    Snowflake, I check PA-educator and the pghedujobs blog as well as 8-10 different district employment pages pretty regularly, but it's still slim pickings. I'm certified in social studies and it seems like there are so few full-time jobs each year and SO many eager applicants. My plan moving forward to is get my Master's in Special Education -- I have some experience working with kiddos on the spectrum, and it's just starting to feel like the right move for a number of reasons, but also because it's an area of critical need virtually everywhere. 

    It took me a few days to gain the maturity to accept that these goals likely will not all happen at once and regain a longer-term perspective. I've already enrolled in two classes for the spring semester and hope to be finished by summer 2018... not sure how easily a baby will fit into that schedule, but we do plan to give TTC a shot this winter and hopefully bring a little babe with us to the 'Burgh within the next two years. We'll see, I guess! 

    High School Teacher Reluctant Floridian * Steelers Fan 

    Family info in Spoiler

    Married 6/2013
    DS 11/2017
    MMC 10/2019 @ 12 weeks 
    Planning to try for our rainbow 01/2020


  • It took me a miscarriage to decide to take night classes and continue on the career path I'd not really started. A year and a half later, I'm starting a job in that industry 3 months pregnant and trying to find daycares in a day care friendly yet expensive city that I don't love. While we never moved home as was the plan in that first pregnancy, I've come to see a ton of personal growth and glad I started making movements on my personal goals.

    Wishing you best wishes on you future plans. 
    Married 8/12
    MC 4/15
    BFP 10/10/16



    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
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