UO Anyone? 12/22

lvcpatt84 · December 2016

Let's have 'em ladies!!

I've got a hot button one to start off this morning: car seat safety (get your popcorn)

Car seat safety fanatics drive me up a wall.

Don't misinterpret me: I'm all for car seat safety, obviously. Make sure your your child is bucked in correctly amd the seat is properly installed. But man, there are about 3 dozen other sub rules that people like to educate you on.

I'm talking about the people who constantly post videos or articles on FB about children dying because they weren't rear facing, the parents were uninformed, etc, and who comment on your pictures educating you that your 3 year old should still be rear facing, and his chest clip is half an inch too low.

The one that really gets me is the video of the car seat crash dummy wearing the coat. Have you watched that video?? Those straps were clearly not as tight as they could be, and it looks like there's no chest clip.

Now, having said all that, I follow basic car seat safety rules. My daughter is sage. But I'm not going to keep her rear facing until she's 5. That's ridiculous. IMO.

morgarita · December 2016

I agree with your uo about car seat safety in that I think people get to worked up over it.

My uo is I think it's weird to call yourself mommy and daddy to a dog or cat. Oh or birds. Yes their your baby but I still think it's weird. More before you have children. I do it now bc ds was calling my dh by his name since I was.

Xath · December 2016

@lvcpatt84 I believe that crash test dummy video is European; most car seats over here don't have chest clips; the entire seat anatomy is different. I'm not a car seat safety nut, but the thick coat thing is absolutely real. US or European seat; anything with thick batting will compress significantly on impact. This means the straps are effectively loose, and your child will absorb a lot more of the crash impact than they would otherwise.

glitterfish-2 · December 2016

Mine is sort of about car seat "safety" nuts too! I mentioned in a fb group yesterday that I bought 3 infant seats for 3 cars because the price was right and why not, and I might as well try to sell them after (OAD, and I don't think I know anyone who would need them) and they went all rabid about how you can't buy used car seats because what if they have been in a crash and they can get covered in second hand smoke, etc. etc. etc.

Umm, I said I was selling them, not buying them? And I'm pretty sure I will know if any of those things happen to them and it's not my job to police if people want to buy them or not!

Come May 26, 2018, they will be in my yard sale with all the other infant paraphernalia, sorry!

kat0607 · December 2016

I agree with all of the above on the car seat crazies. My thing is, there's SO much information available and I am fully capable of finding and researching on my own. I could understand all of the excessive posting and videos IF there were little resources available and absolutely no one was aware of car seat dangers and safety. Some people act like their personal opinion is a nationally recognized guideline.

satsumasandlemons · December 2016

I disagree with that, I don't really see the harm in other people posting car seat safety tips and articles etc because there are a surprisingly large number of people who do not know and don't do research on their own. a big portion of that group may completely ignore those car safety tips etc, and those people must be crazy, but if it reaches at least one more parent, that post, to me, is worth it. Also, sometimes I don't have the time to start research from scratch so I'll reach out to the car seat gurus in my bmb and they give me recommendations supported by good articles.

satsumasandlemons · December 2016

Okay here's my UO: I just don't think social media baby announcements are really necessary and kind of more AW-ish but I think that's more a personal preference thing and it's not like I'm hating on them I just wouldn't do it!

lvcpatt84 · December 2016

@Xath I also agree about coats, and I never put my daughter in her carseat with a coat on. But that video is ridiculous.

morgarita · December 2016

@satsumasandlemons I agree with you to an extent about social media baby announcements. Maybe I'm an exception but we don't see a lot of our friends in the winter so I kind of want to do a winter social media announcement so that in April/May I don't show up with a big belly and they're all surprised and I have to talk about. I guess I just don't like being center of attention and hearing congratulations 80 times in one day.

longhairdntcare · December 2016

@lvcpatt84 what is the harm in leaving them rear facing for as long as possible? There is no doubt it's safer. So it does drive me a little crazy when people turn them around early just for shits & giggles

KissMeImScottish · December 2016

@satsumasandlemons, I actually really like the use of social media for announcements like pregnancy. Granted, our situation is not everyone's, and for people with a close friend network and reasonable access to the people who matter, it may be a little excessive to let 500 of your closest friends know, as it were.

However, in our case, my husband is military and we are only just moving back into the vicinity of my family after 2.5 years of living 6,000 miles away (Hawaii vs. Rhode Island). Because of the military, we have friends who have become more like family because they are our support network for big life events when family is too far away and our husbands are out to sea (more than a few of my friends have given birth with another wife to support them because their husband was underwater). And because we move around so much, those people who are like family are literally scattered all over the world. I have also lived in Germany and Bermuda and have friends there, have family in Scotland, England, Sweden, and Norway, and friends that married people who are French and Australian citizens and who immigrated to love with them in their respective countries. My husband's family is from Pennsylvania and California, mine is distributed from Maine to Florida and everywhere in between. To make personal phone calls or face-to-face announcements to all the people in our life that care about these babies would be next to impossible, would literally take weeks, and would cost a small fortune. For us, social media announcements are a God-send.

lvcpatt84 · December 2016

@Rae1, there's no harm obviously in keeping them rear facing longer, and turning them for shitshow and giggles is, I agree, wrong. "Ridiculous" might be the wrong word, but extended rear facing wasn't for us. I follow the recommended guidelines and state laws in regards to car seat safety.

kat0607 · December 2016

We are planning to announce on social media, because most of our friend network is spread throughout the country. We are going to tell our close friends in person, but the social media announcement is a good way for us to reach everyone without having a bunch of people find out sporatically, and then message/contact us personally. I don't like talking to people anyway.

LuLiLaEv · December 2016

My UO:
Eggnog is gross.

caribbeanmama-2 · December 2016

I remember reading that something like 2/3 of car seats are not installed correctly and directly responsible for injury (failure to protect child) in a crash. Will look for source and report back actual numbers.

I am really strict about car seat install and baby placement, but the only person I educate is my husband. I had a fireman check the install (this is a free service). Most people don't read the directions and they are not suitably trained to simply wing it - each car seat has specific install instructions for your particular car). I also do not allow anyone else to install the car seat and I check the seat and my child's placement every time my husband puts him in. He always has crap like twisted straps - drives me bonkers! I'm an engineer. I do structural analysis - this is a red line for me (not of the insert political reference here variety).

I hope I'm not in the category of driving people up the wall. I just think it's really important. (It does drive my husband nuts actually but what's he going to do lol!)

AdaByron · December 2016

Anything is annoying when it's all over your social media feed, but there really are SO MANY people who don't know about car seat safety, so I am not going to hold it against anyone trying to spread awareness.

AdaByron · December 2016

My UO: announcing your engagement by posting a photo of just the ring on FB is tacky AF.

mj8215 · December 2016

Re social media, I'm with the PPs who have family / friends all over the world where fb does make it easy to keep in touch. I'm ok with social media announcements as long as they don't go overboard (e.g. I agree about just posting picture of ring for engagement being tacky @AdaByron) ... I'm also ok with pregnancy announcements if that's what the couple wants and it's in their cultural tradition... I know we won't do it because in the Jewish culture there's a lot of superstition that comes with pregnancy and "officially" announcing/ buying things ahead of time (e.g. Baby shower is a no no for us)...
Speaking of culture/ religion, my UO is I don't get either kind of hang up re "happy holidays" vs "merry Christmas" - I say happy holidays, or happy Chanukah if I know someone is Jewish, I'll actually say merry Christmas to Christian friends, but if someone says merry Christmas to me, I'll say something nice like thanks, you too instead of freaking out about it... it's just friendly well-wishes, no one is trying to convert anyone to anything!!

kat0607 · December 2016

My UO: I don't like red wine.

pepper16-2 · December 2016

@kat0607 nooo!!!!!! Having a glass of red wine at the end of the day is the #1 (maybe only?) thing I miss.

Also drinking red wine at family functions... the holidays without it?!

Image result for devastated gif

star_beagle · December 2016

Pepper16 said:

Also drinking red wine at family functions... the holidays without it?!

That was me at both Thanksgiving and MIL's BF's birthday party when I could not drink. Drinking while spending any amount of time with my MIL has been the only way I can cope. That woman is cray-cray.

abmommy15 · December 2016

Definitely disagree about the car seat safety. I think it is totally irresponsible to ignore car seat safety best practices. They are there for a reason and so many children are injured or killed because their parents didnt educate themselves on the correct practices. The thick coat rule actually goes for everyone including adults, rear facing is 5 times safer until 2 and should be done until the child outgrows the limits of the seat. My question would be why would you turn your child forward facing before they outgrow the limits when it is irrefutably safer. There are zero reasons to turn FF and many to stay RF.

AdaByron · December 2016

@mj8215 I agree about people saying Merry Christmas. It's always said with good intentions, so I roll my eyes at anyone who gets offended by it. Even more so at the people who think saying "Happy Holidays" instead means a person/company is waging war on Christmas. Just say thanks and move on. I work for a religious institution, and it's always kind of a relief to never worry about being PC. We just say Merry Christmas to everyone.

realgoodthing · December 2016

I think social media announcements are basic...and will totally be doing one on New Years. I think it's awkward when people don't announce and then you see them and you're not sure if they're pregnant! I also have friends and family around the world, so in person isn't doable. Plus, it just makes me happy and I have so much PGAL anxiety around pregnancy in general that I'm trying to find as much joy in it as possible. I agree that it's a little AW....but so am I, tbh.

tuxielove93 · December 2016

lol I don't even drink alcohol (and yes I'm of age. 23). Best part of that? My husband convinced me to try wine with him on our honeymoon in Italy. One, the wine was DISGUSTING. Two, I got pregnant right after we got home. I just about drank the only alcohol I've ever had when I was pregnant.

dancegurl1118 · December 2016

I'm a red wine fiend. Last pregnancy I was craving it so badly. This time around, I have zero desire.

LoveLee85 · December 2016

kat0607 said:

My UO: I don't like red wine.

I hate red wine!!!! I can't help it, it's nasty. LOL

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

abmommy15 said:

Definitely disagree about the car seat safety. I think it is totally irresponsible to ignore car seat safety best practices. They are there for a reason and so many children are injured or killed because their parents didnt educate themselves on the correct practices. The thick coat rule actually goes for everyone including adults, rear facing is 5 times safer until 2 and should be done until the child outgrows the limits of the seat. My question would be why would you turn your child forward facing before they outgrow the limits when it is irrefutably safer. There are zero reasons to turn FF and many to stay RF.

But she didn't say she's against car seat safety. That would be crazy AF. She said she's annoyed by the fanatics who post about it all over social media. I agree with that sentiment (they're often the "breast is best" sanctimommies, making organic homemade yogurt for playgroup people - and don't get me wrong, I love all of that and agree with it, but spare me the public self-righteousness).

@mj8215 Girrrrlllll! Coulda written your post myself, word for word! #tribe

@kerils I respect your right to an opinion, but feel personally offended for zero legitimate reason in seeing you write the Italian wine was disgusting. No. The wine was delicious. You just don't like wine.
(This is a teasing sentiment not judgment - please don't misinterpret my internet tone!)

Not sure if this is an UO but I side eye baby names inspired by TV or movies. (Not books.)

Creedon778 · December 2016

I've never had alcohol. I double up on chocolate to soothe my pains.

chiquita928 · December 2016

dancegurl1118 said:

I'm a red wine fiend. Last pregnancy I was craving it so badly. This time around, I have zero desire.

Are you me? That's 100% how I'm feeling right now.

Xath · December 2016

I'm doing ok without normal wine, but it's mulled wine season and I'm struggling. There are so many Christmas markets. So much mulled wine I can't drink....

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

Xath said:

I'm doing ok without normal wine, but it's mulled wine season and I'm struggling. There are so many Christmas markets. So much mulled wine I can't drink....

YES! Missing mulled wine at the Christmas markets is killing me. Hot apple cider isn't cutting it, nice as it is.

abmommy15 · December 2016

virginiaunicorn11 said:

abmommy15 said:

Definitely disagree about the car seat safety. I think it is totally irresponsible to ignore car seat safety best practices. They are there for a reason and so many children are injured or killed because their parents didnt educate themselves on the correct practices. The thick coat rule actually goes for everyone including adults, rear facing is 5 times safer until 2 and should be done until the child outgrows the limits of the seat. My question would be why would you turn your child forward facing before they outgrow the limits when it is irrefutably safer. There are zero reasons to turn FF and many to stay RF.

But she didn't say she's against car seat safety. That would be crazy AF. She said she's annoyed by the fanatics who post about it all over social media. I agree with that sentiment (they're often the "breast is best" sanctimommies, making organic homemade yogurt for playgroup people - and don't get me wrong, I love all of that and agree with it, but spare me the public self-righteousness).

My disagreement is more with the comment about the 3 dozen sub rules. I guess I don't understand why you would be offended if you are doing something unsafe and someone points it out. If I did something that put my kids life at risk and someone told me I would be thankful not offended. Kids should be rear facing at 3 as long as they haven't outgrown the limits of the seat. The vertebrae don't fuse completely until 4-5 which leaves them vulnerable to internal decapitation (among other things). Ask a mom who has watched their child go through that how "ridiculous" they think extended rear facing is. Educate yourself and then others won't feel like they have to educate you. The breasmilk over formula argument is totally different and definitely falls into the ridiculous category IMO. Nobody dies from being fed formula over breast milk, people do die when the 3 dozen sub rules are ignored.

virginiaunicorn11 · December 2016

What you are doing here is the type of post she was describing (or I had in mind when i read her post). I invested in an expensive seat that is one of the highest safety ratings available, with extended rear facing, and your response to me is lecturing on vertebrae. I don't disagree with you, it's just the package of the messaging is kind of over the top. You tell people "educate yourself then others won't have to educate you." But you have ZERO idea what my or most of these women's education or practice is. This is the public sanctimony that really puts me off - even though I don't disagree with your message.

tuxielove93 · December 2016

@virginiaunicorn11 lol, sorry. The wine really was bad. It was cheap, it was at a tiny, very casual diner, and my husband who does drink agreed. It was really terrible wine. Otherwise I would totally agree with you that it's just because I don't like wine.

mrscate88 · December 2016

I'm embarrassed to ask, but what is UO?

glitterfish-2 · December 2016

@mrscate88 Unpopular opinion

mrscate88 · December 2016

GlitterFish said:

@mrscate88 Unpopular opinion

Oh thank you, I was reading all the comments thinking this has to be something to do with personal opinions haha.

caribbeanmama-2 · December 2016

@kat0607 blasphemy!!!

@dancegurl1118 you are my spirit animal! I love red wine and snort at white wine though champagne/cava gets a pass in the summer/at celebrations. There will be a cellar in our dream home. Could even be in lieu of the Master lol!

I was wondering why I feel so down this pregnancy - I think it's because all the joy (red wine) has gone out of my life.

abmommy15 · December 2016

virginiaunicorn11 said:

What you are doing here is the type of post she was describing (or I had in mind when i read her post). I invested in an expensive seat that is one of the highest safety ratings available, with extended rear facing, and your response to me is lecturing on vertebrae. I don't disagree with you, it's just the package of the messaging is kind of over the top. You tell people "educate yourself then others won't have to educate you." But you have ZERO idea what my or most of these women's education or practice is. This is the public sanctimony that really puts me off - even though I don't disagree with your message.

None of my comments were directed at you or anyone specifically. I certainly wasn't lecturing about vertebrae, I included it because my previous statement was kids should be rear facing and vertebrae are the reason why. You are right I don't know your practices which is why I wasn't directing anything at you but when you see a picture of a child turned early, chest clips in the wrong place, etc then it's pretty obvious that the parent isn't aware of the dangers. Again I will say I just don't get why someone would be offended when a potentially dangerous practice is pointed out. Sanctimommy posts IMO are crap that doesn't really matter but just try to make someone feel like they aren't the "perfect" parent...all organics, breast is best, zero tv would fall into that category. People spreading knowledge about life saving issues is a different scenario to me.
I will also add that while I haven't used social media to post about car seat safety, I have learned a lot from others posts and appreciate them. Just seems silly to me to be upset about being exposed to information that could save a child's life. I definitely agree that in many cases the messaging could be better and I think that any time someone feels like they should make a parent aware of something it should be a private message not calling them out in a comment on a picture.

julybaby17-2 · December 2016

All of these wine comments are really making me want a glass of wine! How will I ever make it through the holidays????

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