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August 2017 Moms
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my family isn't happy for us

breanna428breanna428 member
in August 2017 Moms
so my family and i have been having a hard time this year because we told
them we aren't celebrating christmas with our first daughter by buying her a ton of toys. it's really been tough for them accepting this and they don't want anything to do with us lately. i told my mom this morning that i was expecting again with a picture of my daughter in a shirt that says i'm going to be a big sister.  all she said to me was "omg" and i asked her if that was good or bad and she said she doesn't know. she or my family haven't talked to me since or made any comments on the photos i've been posting online sharing the news with my friends. this is just really frustrating to me right now and i've decided to just give up and wait on them to try to make nice. i've been trying for weeks but at this point i'm just done with talking them. we aren't even going to genie christmas dinner because of they way they have treated my husband and i. and all
of this because we chose not to give toys to our daughter on christmas. sorry for the rant!!! 
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Re: my family isn't happy for us

  • and_peggyand_peggy member
    I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. Just try to focus on being positive about your growing family. Every baby is a blessing and gift. Never apologize for living your life the way you feel is best for your family. We are also not purchasing my daughter Christmas gifts, as she won't understand or care. Hopefully things will settle after the holidays.
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    5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
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  • maebee87maebee87 member
    I'm sorry your going through this. I have a very hard relationship with my Inlaws. I learned that nothing I do pleases them and so I just live my life and set my boundaries and rules and do what is best for my family. Easier said then done, I know. Hold your ground because if you cave into them you are setting the precedent that they can change your mind. 
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  • SPurp13SPurp13 member
    As hard as it is to realize, what's important to us is almost never as important to someone else. When we had to tell people that we were pregnant, but had lost our second baby, people were supportive, but my own family was not. No one bothered to really say anything. And it's because they didn't really experience anything. Their lives won't change one way or the other. And, the same is true with announcing a pregnancy. We are not the stars of a tv show. Our lives are no more important to anyone else, and that really sucks.

    However, the "I don't know" comment from your mother seems VERY cold. Is it out of the norm for her? Or is this an ongoing thing with her? If so, I would limit my relationship with her stat. You don't need that horseshit.
      ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me: 35  DH: 38  |  Married: 6/2013  |  Pregnancy #1, APurp born 10/2014
    Pregnancy #2, BFP 6/4/2016, MMC at 9W, D&E: 7/21/16 | Pregnancy #3, BFP 11/22/16


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  • breanna428breanna428 member
    @SPurp13 i kinda expected the "i don't know" comment because of the other things she's been saying lately(since we said no gifts) other comments she's said is myDH is brainwashing me into not getting our LO presents and bringing up my great grandma's death that happened earlier this year even going as far as bringing up that my cousins wife lost members of her family this year. so yeah i expected that. she's just trying to guilt me into anything she can 
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  • NYTino24NYTino24 member
    As hard as it is to accept, sometimes you just don't need people like that in your life. I had to take three of my four sisters out of my wedding and I replaced them with my friends. They were much easier to deal with, and were actually supportive. It was the best decision I made and then I had low expectations of them going forward.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
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