TTTC Checkin 11/22/2016 - Thanksgiving Edition

Re: TTTC Checkin 11/22/2016 - Thanksgiving Edition

• GoldenKeys admin

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  I can't believe that I'm actually welling up as I write this but I just wanted to take a moment to say how thankful I am for the women on this board.  I don't have a lot of things to post about my IF journey anymore because we have been on long term NTNP hold, which is a very long, sad, very boring struggle.   
  
  But the women who share their stories here are the kindest, most supportive people I've seen on the internet anywhere.  I've silently found a lot of inspiration on here and my faith in people (online!) has been renewed.
  
  I am hoping for BFP success for every one of you and I'm praying that this time next year our Hall of Fame section will be so long it will have to become it's own post!
  
  Happy thanksgiving
  

  New to the board? Read our "New Visitors" post here!
  

  
  
  Married for 7 years, TTC for 4 years
  dx:  Diminished Ovarian Reserve
  2 Clomid IUI's + 4 injectable IUI's= 5 BFNs and 1 mc
  
  
  
  

  
  

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• Worldtravler0522 member

  November 2016

  First of all @BWhitta I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I just went through this part of the journey so don't hesitate to reach out to me with any questions you may have or just to vent. Being in this place can feel incredibly lonely and isolating so please feel free to reach out.   
  
  Right now I am not so patiently waiting for AF to get here but she won't show up until early December.  I am also waiting for the results of my recurrent miscarriage testing.  I got it done a week ago but I'm not anticipating results for at least another week.  So surprise surprise I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting...  Mentally I'm starting to rebound and feel a little more like my old self which is helpful.  
  
  Question of the week:
  
  I am most thankful for my amazing husband.  He has been my biggest cheerleader and support through this entire process.  I honestly don't know how I could survive this process without him.  
  
  I am also thankful for my current job and the ability to work from home.  I have mastered the art of working while in tears which I couldn't have done while working an office without odd looks at least.  

  
  

  Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
  DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
  TTC since December 2014
  Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy  
  FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks  
  FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
  FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
  FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
  FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
  Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
  2 snow babies 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• funkykey member

  November 2016

  CD 2 of 14. 14 already! I need to start preparing my nemesis, aka my clearblue advanced fertility monitor, for the coming weeks.
  
  @GoldenKeys your post made me think about how grateful I am for this board too. For months, I'd been so in my own head ("Will I get KU? please let it be me, please let it be me, it's not fair!") and now I feel much lighter. This past week, when I realized AF would come, my first thought was: "Ok, not me this time. But maybe (insert screen name of someone in their TWW) will be!" Like a team sport.
  
  I am thankful for my friendships, not just here but in other places too. For the ones who cover for me at work if I have to leave early for a blood test, for the ones who listen to me while I complain, and then for the ones who make fun of me when I'm being obnoxious, or make me laugh when I'm down. I'm thankful for the quality of friendship I have with my husband, who is many things to me, including my friend.
  
  Last week, we fought about something minor. I was irritated with him, and he responded in kind, and as we fought I said: "Why can't you just be calm when I get frustrated? Why do you have to react and escalate?!" and he, without breaking a beat, replied: "If you start me up, if you start me up, I'll never stop." Hahaha. I couldn't stay mad.
  
  I am thankful for music, too. 

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• txmomma16 member

  November 2016

  @BWhitta I'm so sorry for your loss. Platitudes on the internet can't get me very far but I'll say that I'm sorry and you are not alone. 
  
  For me, I'm waiting. The TWW struggle is REAL! I'm 7dpiui and so far I've managed to not POAS yet, but the urge is there. I know that I will tomorrow, and Thursday. I'm hoping for something to be extra thankful of this year at Thanksgiving. 
  
  This year, and most, I'm thankful for my husband as well. He really has upheld his end of the "in sickness and health" part and has been so patient and by my side through everything. 
  
  @funkykey Your DH sounds a little like mine, always ready with some humor. :-) 
  

  Me: 30 DH: 31
  2 Dogs / 2 Cats 
  

  IUI #1 07/2016 BFN
  IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
  IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
  IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
  
  

  
  

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• laurad75 member

  November 2016

  I'm very sorry @BWhitta
  
  @kmallery08 FX for you this cycle.  Third times the charm!
  
  CD 6 of cycle 8 today.  Monitoring is scheduled for next Tuesday and IUI #2 will be scheduled after that. 
  
  I too have to say I am very grateful to the women on TB this year.  I think I would drive H crazy if I didn't have such a supportive outlet through this journey.  
  
  Speaking of H, I am very grateful for him too.  He's acting like a baby today and driving me nuts but he is so good to me.  

  History and blog link in spoiler

  2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
  2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
  moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
  Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18
  
  May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
  Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
  May 2020 FET; BFN
  July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
  Oct 2020 BFP! 
  
  Take a look at my blog

  
  

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• BenJay member

  November 2016

  BFN Monday A.M. followed AF arriving like a banshee. I was super hormonal all week leading up that I thought our Hail Mary IUI worked.
  
  The gift I'm giving myself this Christmas: a month of not trying. No Clomid. No peeing on OPKs that don't work anyway. I want to drink egg nog to whatever level I need to cope with my in laws.
  
  QOTW: So thankful that my work is 10 minutes away from a Panda Express. Hormonal Me wants ALL the fried rice.
  
  No, seriously, I am very grateful for the comfortable life I have. I know that I am in a better situation then most and I need to focus my efforts on helping others more than I do.

  Married 4 years, TTC 3 years

  Dx: Unexplained infertility, hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's, MTHFR Mutation
  DH - low motility
  Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements

  
  

  
  
  

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• Worldtravler0522 member

  November 2016

  @BenJay fried rice is something to for sure be thankful for.   I'm sorry to hear AF showed up and I hope you enjoy all the egg nog you can get your hands on!!

  
  

  Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
  DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
  TTC since December 2014
  Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy  
  FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks  
  FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
  FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
  FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
  FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
  Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
  2 snow babies 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• MandyBeeSLP member

  November 2016

  @BWhitta I'm sorry for your loss. 
  
  I had my CD3 scan today (on CD1). My cyst that prevented our medicated cycle last month has resolved so we have another game plan. This month I'm doing Metformin, 100mg Clomid, vaginal estrace, dexamethasone (steroid) and trigger shot. If this cycle is not successful I will do an HSG and we will move to IUI for our next cycle probably. 
  
  We have started to open up more to our family and close friends about our infertility. I'm thankful for how supportive people have been. I've lived with this feeling that I was this huge taboo and if I told anyone I'd be admitting this embarrassing secret but I've found that a lot of people know someone else close that has gone through infertility and even if they haven't they are very kind and understanding. 
  
  I'm thankful for so many other things as well! I'm feeling very blessed thinking about it. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

  Me: 29, DH: 32

  Married: July 22, 2008
  Fur babies: Phoenix and Yeti (both cats). 
  

  TTC#1 since: May 2015
  September 2016- Infertility Testing
  dx: Low Progesterone, Vitamin D Deficiency, Borderline PCOS
  Treatment: 
  October 2016-January 2017- Metformin, Clomid/Letrozole, hcg trigger, progesterone
  IUI- 2/17/2017 BFP 3/2/2017! 
  
  

  
  

  My Chart
  
  
  
  

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• seethosestars member

  November 2016

  I thought I had posted already but I think it didn't go through or TB ate my post.

  
  

  Huge hugs for @BWhitta– so sorry to hear about your loss.

  @Worldtravler0522  – the waiting game is the worst part of this I think.  It’s such a loss of control

  @funkykey  – I haven’t used the advanced monitor – is it more useful than the regular OPKs?

  @kmallery08 – the TWW just seems to stretch on forever doesn’t it!

  @laurad75 – good luck with this IUI!

  @BenJay – sorry to hear about the BFN =(

  @mandasand – sorry to hear about the single follie and the BFN.  Hopefully the January cycle is the one!!

  
  

  I think the letrozole has somehow lengthened my luteal phase this month.  I'm at 14 DPO and tested BFN on Monday (day my period was due) and every day this week since then.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up as I feel absolutely nothing!  My usual luteal phase is 9-11 days so 14 days or longer is probably better!

  Either that or I have a corpus luteum cyst prolonging this cycle…

  Canadian thanksgiving has already come and gone but I'm also thankful for my job, my home, my DH, my parents and all the lovely ladies in real life and online that have been supportive of me through this infertility journey.

  
  Married since 2011
  TTC since Oct 2014
  DOR + MFI
  3 failed IUIs; IVF August 2017
  

  FET January 2018 - BFP

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• hoffmanr7 member

  November 2016 edited November 2016

   HSG was done today..no blockages.  Im still
  not sure exactly how I feel about the results again. Im obviously glad that there is nothing wrong but it just so firmly plants us in the unexplained infertility box.  If something had shown up, at least it would have been some answers.  Instead, I get to continue wondering 'Why us?'
  
  
  
  
  I will admit, it was kind of neat to see the images when they were doing it.  Fun fact I learned about me today: my uterus is inverted.  My doctor said that it would not affect my fertility and that some womens uteruses just lay in the body differently.  Who knew.  In the mean time, we are keeping all fingers and toes crossed that this is our month.
  
  @kmallery08 Ug, the TWW is the worst.
  @laurad75 Fx for a successful IUI
  @BenJay sorry about your BFN
  @mandasand sorry for just the one follie and the BFN. Fx for lotsnie big follies next time around.
  @GoldenKeys Could you please update my Rx to Clomid and Estradoil
  
  
  

  8eecc16a7463564168defd2f80126400.jpg 7.6K

  Me:33, DH:38 Married: 8/2/2014
  TTC #1 Since: April 2015
  Unexplained Infertility
  

  Cycle 1&2 : Clomid 50mg- BFN
  Cycle 3: Letrozole 2.5mg- BFN
  Cycle 4: Letrozole 5mg- BFN
  Cycle 5: HSG-normal
                Clomid 100mg+ Estrace- BFN
  Cycle 6: Letrozole 5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progestrone- BFN
  Cycle 7: Letrozole 5mg, Cyst found during follicle check
  Cycle 8: Birth control to treat left ovary cyst
  Cycle 9: Letrozole 7.5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
  Cycle 10: Letrozole 7.5mg, 2 Cysts found during follicle check
  Cycle 11: Clomid 100mg+Estradiol+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
  Cycle 12: Clomid 100mg- BFN
  Cycle 13-16: Natural attempts while awaiting IVF 
  Cycle 14: IVF-BFN

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• mrswifeytoad member

  November 2016

  @BWhitta so incredibly sorry for your loss. praying for you. 
  
  I've been off the boards for a while because since my mc back in August I haven't felt much like participating. I think I'm back though. 
  I'm still on metformin. I'm going to try to have a period without the provera this month. mainly because I don't have insurance right now... hopefully the met has got my pcos under control enough to have a cycle on my own. 
  We are ntnp right now. 
  
  I'm thankful for my supportive husband. he's the best! 

  
  Trigger warning
  
  
  

  me: 28 dh: 34
  married since October 2015-started trying immediately
  dx: PCOS, anovulatory
  rx: provera metformin progesterone
  *TW*
  BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
  1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
  BFP March 2017  ~  EDD December 13, 2017
  di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
  DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
  *End TW*
  BFP Sept.2019

  
  
  

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• funkykey member

  November 2016

  @seethosestars I think the boards were actually down for a little while yesterday - I think we lost a couple of posts in this thread! @ReesaAnne16 & someone else (I'm so sorry I can't remember name! with a B?) had some comments about coming to terms with the cost of IVF, given the success rates. I'd posted a long response (my usual MO), because my inner accountant really likes digging in to thorny financial problems... it's gone now, but I'll summarize here:
  
  Paying for IVF sucks, and it's not fair, and I'm sorry you are faced with this decision. So uncool that so many work extended health packages cover x, y, and z treatment and not IVF/anything for fertility. Here are some unconventional ideas on how to miraculously come up with $20,000 for OOP treatments... But those might not work for you, it still sucks, and it's not fair, and you'd be better off putting that $20,000 into your retirement savings, as 20 years from now I think it will be worth x. 
  
  I didn't mention this article, which I thought was thoughtful: 
  https://nymag.com/thecut/2016/09/price-of-infertility-ivf-cost-c-v-r.html
  "Here’s what no one tells couples trying to conceive: It helps to be rich."
  

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• Worldtravler0522 member

  November 2016

  @hoffmanr7 I know exactly what you mean about feeling somewhat of a letdown that there isn't anything visibly wrong in terms of fertility.  With my recurrent miscarriage testing I really want there to be no issues but I won't lie that a small part of me wants something a little off to help me place blame on our loss.  Fingers crossed this is your month!  

  
  

  Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
  DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
  TTC since December 2014
  Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy  
  FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks  
  FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
  FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
  FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
  FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
  Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
  2 snow babies 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• seethosestars member

  November 2016

  aaaaand I'm out =(

  
  Married since 2011
  TTC since Oct 2014
  DOR + MFI
  3 failed IUIs; IVF August 2017
  

  FET January 2018 - BFP

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• Megzb510 member

  November 2016

  Hi guys, I'm so happy to report this news today. I had my FET on 11/14. I got BFP starting on Monday this week (7dp5dt) and my beta Wednesday was positive with a level of 49. I have a repeat beta tomorrow where they want to see my levels double. If all is well, I start ultrasounds the week of 12/5! 
  
  I have to say that i also echo the sentiments of @GoldenKeys. This group has been helpful, especially in the days where it didn't seem like i would ever get KU. Even just reading the journeys everyone is on was helpful, cuz it's nice to know that there are other women out there on the same path. Thank you all!  

  Me: 33 DH: 31
  DS: 5 years old
  TTC #2 since August 2015
  July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
  August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
  October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature /  9 fertilized / 2 blasts
  November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
  January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
  March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts

  April 24, 2017: FET#3 - BFN
  May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
  
  

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• funkykey member

  November 2016

  Congratulations @Megzb510!!
  
  I'm so sorry @seethosestars. Argh! What a b*tch.
  
  @hoffmanr7 @Worldtravler0522 I get frustrated too. A few months ago, when I was chomping at the bit for testing, I was so hoping I just had a progesterone deficiency or a blocked tube or something. I was like: "That's a no brainer - I think they can even treat that with a cream! Boom!" When my doctor was like: "everything looks fine", I was disappointed. At least when they know, they can treat, right?
  
  I've found it's really helped me to think of "unexplained" as "science doesn't know yet". Not only does this give me a hard example for when I lecture my unconceived children if/when they whine about not wanting to learn something ("you have to learn, so you can start to discover and lessen suffering!"), it also makes me feel like I'm on the cutting edge of science. A lot of people say they would go to the ends of the earth for their children - we're actually going to the ends of knowledge before our children are even real, just when they are an idea, or a promise. That makes me feel like an explorer, like I'm a pioneer or something. I dunno.
  
  It sucks & I wouldn't wish this on anyone - I mean, the Donner Party were pioneers too - but it also makes the whole experience feel at least a little bit Star Trek, which makes me feel a smidgen better. 
  
  FX for you both, and FX for us all.

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• PoeMasque member

  November 2016

  @funkykey my post somehow disappeared along with a very thoughtful reply to it. Thank you for your reply as well. I've read that article and, although there are organizations that grant money to couples for IVF, the odds of getting one are super slim (especially for us, we both make a solid living, but both have $100k + in student loan debt). 
  
  im still struggling with the low odds for IVF and all the FB pregnancy announcements on thanksgiving aren't helping. We were only two months into our TTC journey this time last year, I remember being so excited and full of love. It's really hard to see that other couples get to have that blissful experience while ours is now one of failure, loss, and fear. I wish there was a way to change that. 

  Me: 39 SO: 36
  
  

  Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"
  
  TTC#1 since November 2015
  9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
  10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
  1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
  March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
  
  TTC #2 since July 2018
  May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
  

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• BWhitta member

  November 2016

  Thank you, everyone!  I really am so thankful for this group...it's so comforting to really know that I am not alone.  This week has been one of the hardest of my life, if I'm honest, but it has also shown me how truly blessed I am.  My medicated miscarriage went relatively smoothly...it wasn't fun but it all seemed to happen as the doctor said it would.  I'm still bleeding and my uterus just seems to be sore, which I guess makes sense.  My hormones are definitely dropping so today was a weepy day.  I think I was in shock at first, and then mostly just concerned with getting everything done and making sure I was healthy.  Now the loss is really hitting me.  I can't really process the idea of another pregnancy right now...I am confident that we'll be pregnant again soon but that thought doesn't make me happy.  It makes me feel helpless.  I don't want to go through this again.  
  

  Married for 5 years, TTC for 3 years

  PCOS, Low AMH, Endo, Uterine Fibroids, Low Estrogen...
  and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. 
  3 Losses, 8/16 11/16 and 6/2017 

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• Worldtravler0522 member

  November 2016

  @BWhitta I'm happy to hear things went smoothly with the medicated miscarriage.  During and right after my miscarriage I told DH I wanted to donate our 10 snow babies because I could never do this ever again.  It's been about three weeks or so and I am ready to go again.  Not saying you will bounce back that quickly but what you are feeling is completely normal.  I kind of wonder will I ever be able to not be terrified for a pregnancy?  Holding out hope the fear will give way to happiness for both of us! 

  
  

  Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
  DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
  TTC since December 2014
  Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy  
  FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks  
  FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
  FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
  FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
  FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
  Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
  2 snow babies 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• funkykey member

  November 2016

  @BWhitta good luck over these next few weeks. I was really touched by your description (and @Worldtravler0522's response) - I'm so sorry and hope that (at the very least) your body recovers smoothly and soon. FX that you never have to experience that again.
  
  @PoeMasque - I hope both my initial (now lost) response and back-up response weren't insensitive. I obviously don't know you, or your situation. I only know on this board we're in similar TTC situations, and that we probably all have different attitudes towards money and are in different financial situations... which will affect not only what treatments we do, but even how we feel about the treatments we do.
  
  We recently finished paying off DH's 80k in student loans, and we don't have especially well-paying jobs - not the kind of jobs where you'd think: "damn, he must have taken on at least 80k of debt". Not long ago, after DH'd already been making payments for several years, we had a conversation when he was feeling overwhelmed and defeated. He said: "I'm going to have this debt for another 10 years. I can't even imagine being debt-free." We tightened our belts, made some big changes, and he made the final payment this spring - a little over 2 years after our talk. I was very: "Come on, we can do it!" the whole time.
  
  In my efforts to be a cheerleader here though, I realize I might seem obnoxiously optimistic, or like I'm making light of what may be a very painful problem. IF is nowhere near as easy as personal finances. There's no x+y=z... or even x+y=xy. (nerd joke alert).
  
  I know every cycle, I have a couple days of crushing defeat/disappointment - and some cycles are worse than others. On my worst days, if someone told me: "It'll get better, you'll see!" I'd want to spit in their eye! Lately, though, I keep having "guys, we can do it!" days - this past 2 cycles I've been really hopeful... but who knows if this will last.
  
  Good luck to you, FX FX FX FX that you will get KU'd soon, and (at the very least) I hope that you soon feel excited and full of love again. 
  
  ps. even on my best days I have a problem with FB pregnancy announcements. And the maternity photo shoots. Even if I were pregnant, I would have a problem with them. So cheeseball!
  

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