November - "I'm Adopting!" and "I'm Fostering!" — The Bump
Adoption

November - "I'm Adopting!" and "I'm Fostering!"

britters314britters314 member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
edited November 2016 in Adoption

“I’m adopting!” and "I'm fostering"

Are you thinking about adopting/fostering or are you in the process of adopting/fostering? If so, please tell us more about yourself and your experiences so far. 

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-How are you feeling about the process right now?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-Anything else to add?

-GTKY: What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Me: 26   H: 26
Foster Care process
Licensed: June 2017
Foster son placed with us: January 2018

Re: November - "I'm Adopting!" and "I'm Fostering!"

  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? We'll consider domestic adoption, but right now we're looking into foster care

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) Just started contact. Apparently in my state all foster care is not through DCFS - there are a bunch of private agencies that do foster care. So today I've been talking with someone to help figure out the best agency to go with (it seems different agencies have different specialties - bilingual, special needs, etc.). Once we've got that figured out, I'll get more info, possibly by H and I going to an informational presentation.

    -How are you feeling about the process right now? I'm not sure. H definitely seems more on board, which is great, but I'm getting nervous. I'm also worried we're going to seem too picky. The first agency suggested to me turned out to be one that only works with children with high level disabilities, which we are not comfortable with for first-time parenting. So I asked for an agency without that focus (I'm waiting to hear back). H and I both feel that it's one thing if we get a placement for a child with a disability, but it's another to pick an agency that guarantees that. Hopefully that doesn't make us seem too picky.

    -Any questions? I have a ton, but they are state-specific, so I'll just have to ask once I get hooked up with an agency.

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? For anyone else in a state with multiple agencies, start thinking about your preferences right away. I didn't think we would have to discuss our comfort level with disabilities this soon and H and I hadn't discussed it before it came up. Luckily we were already on the same page, so we were able to move on, but it would have sucked to have to wait longer to get started in order to think about it.

    -Anything else to add? I think I covered everything so far. I'll give an update if anything exciting happens.

    -GTKY: What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Rolls, with stuffing as a close second. Basically I just like bread :)

    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
    SaphireSweetie88
  • @britters314 - My state has the same, except they aren't different "focus groups," it's more like the agencies sort of support DFS. It's mostly different churches. 
    TTC #1 since September 2014
    Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
    Check out my Infertility blog 
    Check out my Infertility Instagram

    Loss History (TW):
    BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015
    BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
    BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
    BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
    BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
    BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
    TTC History (TW):
    3 losses in 2015
    Met with OBGYN in January 2016
    Me: all clear, H: OAT
    November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
    January 2017: H tested again,  High DNA fragmentation and stainability
    February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
    March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
    Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
    December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
    January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
    Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
    FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
    May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
    FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. 
    BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
    Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two
    Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
    Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
    Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel. 
    Next Up:
    TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. 
    ER#2 ~Jan 2019
            

    SaphireSweetie88
  • @KristoKekerooni  Yeah that's what it is here, too - nonprofits supporting DCFS, but some of the nonprofits are specifically for people with disabilities and so their foster care program has that focus, too. Some of the agencies have both traditional and "specialized" foster care, too, so I don't know how soon we would have to make a decision on that.
    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
    KristoKekerooniSaphireSweetie88
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? - We are in the middle of our wait for a domestic, infant adoption.

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) - 6.5 months into our wait for a match.

    -How are you feeling about the process right now? - Honestly, lately I've been feeling like it's never going to happen and we're never going to get matched.

    -Any questions? - Anyone else in Indiana?

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? -  Don't stress the home study.  It really wasn't nearly as big of a deal as I made it out in my head.

    -Anything else to add? - Not much.

    -GTKY: What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? - HAM!!!!  And we always have brussel sprouts...LOVE those!

    TTC #1 since May 2013 IUI #1 - February 2015 - BFN IUI #2 - May 2015 - BFN IUI #3 - June 2015 - BFN IVF #1 - October 2015 - 7 mature fertilized, all arrested development prior to 5d blast. - major bust Adoption Decision - February 2016
    KristoKekerooniSaphireSweetie88
  • @oneslybookworm - Wow, that's exciting. I hope it happens quickly for you. FX!!
    TTC #1 since September 2014
    Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
    Check out my Infertility blog 
    Check out my Infertility Instagram

    Loss History (TW):
    BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015
    BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
    BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
    BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
    BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
    BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
    TTC History (TW):
    3 losses in 2015
    Met with OBGYN in January 2016
    Me: all clear, H: OAT
    November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
    January 2017: H tested again,  High DNA fragmentation and stainability
    February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
    March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
    Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
    December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
    January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
    Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
    FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
    May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
    FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. 
    BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
    Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two
    Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
    Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
    Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel. 
    Next Up:
    TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. 
    ER#2 ~Jan 2019
            

    oneslybookwormSaphireSweetie88
  • @oneslybookworm - Wow, that's exciting. I hope it happens quickly for you. FX!!

    Thanks so much!  I hope so too, but it appears that this all works on it's own timeline, not mine.  LOL
    TTC #1 since May 2013 IUI #1 - February 2015 - BFN IUI #2 - May 2015 - BFN IUI #3 - June 2015 - BFN IVF #1 - October 2015 - 7 mature fertilized, all arrested development prior to 5d blast. - major bust Adoption Decision - February 2016
    KristoKekerooniSaphireSweetie88
  • britters314britters314 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 2016
    @oneslybookworm  Does your agency have any sort of statistics on how long it tends to take to get a match?

    ETA: I just saw your post on another thread where you said it's 18-24 months. That's a long time - hopefully you don't have to wait that long!
    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
    SaphireSweetie88
  • @britters314...Yes, that's their average.  It's a small agency.  We are considering signing with a second, larger, agency that has faster wait times, but it opens us up to a lot more financial uncertainty, compared to our agency we're working with now.

    TTC #1 since May 2013 IUI #1 - February 2015 - BFN IUI #2 - May 2015 - BFN IUI #3 - June 2015 - BFN IVF #1 - October 2015 - 7 mature fertilized, all arrested development prior to 5d blast. - major bust Adoption Decision - February 2016
    SaphireSweetie88britters314
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