Family Matters November...

Goodmorning12 · November 2016

Saw this on another board and thought it was a great idea, especially with baby showers & Holidays approaching.

I've received quite the commentary on what I should & should not register for. I just smile & ignore. It's so funny how different various parenting methods are.

Anyways...

Happyhiker · November 2016

My mother in law asked if used onsies would be ok. The store by her sells them 10 for a dollar. She means well.

Ivorytower2 · November 2016

"Is this baby gonna breastfeed till she's two also?" - MIL

babyisthenewblack · November 2016

So I love my MIL dearly, but she is SO deeply offended that we will not announce baby's name to anyone until after the birth. The other day while we were visiting, she opened her iPad and shouted names at us from a website for an hour!! An actual hour. When we didn't flinch, she picked an obscure German name out of the blue and has decided to call the baby that in order to try to break us down. It's so amusing!

wintersong · November 2016

Ivorytower2 said:

"Is this baby gonna breastfeed till she's two also?" - MIL

Answer: "I'm shooting for four this time."

wintersong · November 2016

In seriousness my MIL is deathly afraid of bedsharing. This is sort awjward because she knows we did with DS from about 2 months old and she keeps bringing up how we should not do the same with baby 2. It doesnt help that a baby recently passed away after suffocating while sleeping on a couch with its dad and was brought in to the hospital at her work. We've tried to educate her about ways that bedsharing can be safe (example: baby should never sleep by dad between the parents, no comforter, firm mattress, etc etc) but she gets so emotional it is impossible. She means well and speakd out of love but it is so awkward.

librarymom917 · November 2016

DH's aunts and cousin are throwing me a small lunch shower(like 6 or 7 people) and DH's grandma is already saying she "can't" go because she's sick. The shower is 3 weeks away. She called me and told me to come by and get my gift. It's really because the grandma and the aunts aren't speaking, but the aunts are willing to put that aside for my shower but his grandma isn't ...

Liss_37 · November 2016

"wow it's twins!! my friend had twins too. she died in childbirth. it was really sad"

Liss_37 · November 2016

@babyisthenewblack we are having a similar issue with my sister. She's *determined* to know the babies names before they are born and literally drives us crazy every single time we are with her because she just constantly says random names. she gets so frustrated when we don't give in that she will pick two random names that she knows we would never ever pick and starts calling the babies that.

that's the part that annoys me the most. this shouldn't be new to her, we didn't announce DS' name until he was born and she didn't announce her own kids names until they were born!! insert eyeroll here.

motherofdragons-2 · November 2016

My aunt in law told my husband that he is "making a big mistake having this baby and that she wont support any of it." 1. Is he having the baby or am I?? Cause Im pretty sure I am the one carrying, delivering, nursing and changing her diapers at 3am. 2. Is there an option to "unmake" the mistake? She's notoriously pro life but not towards her own blood? 3. DH didn't even ask what she thought! She just pounced on him at his work and unloaded all this negativity. Ugh! Eye rolls for days

mrsyimster · November 2016

Liss_37 said:

"wow it's twins!! my friend had twins too. she died in childbirth. it was really sad"

omg all the twin horror stories... so many times i actually legit cried bc i was so scared....

mrsyimster · November 2016

MIL: "why can't she bend down and pick up things she dropped. she's only 6 months" (with my already 10 months singleton belly size)

MIL: "she's so fat already... and her doctor tells her she should eat more.."

i get it u carried 3 children... but I'm carrying 2 at once... and frankly I'm shorter than you.. shut up you mean witch

she also complained or talked smacked about me to my parents while they were in town.. granted my parents had our issues but my mom has been super protective of me, cooking for me when she was in town... and refusing me to do any house work or basically anything at all...

my mom now thinks my MIL really hates me and might poison me.... bc i got a bad tummy ache from dinner last week at her house......

disneybaby84 · November 2016

@mrsyimster so sorry your MIL is being so rude and mean. If you want to escape I live a few hours north and we can have a pregnant women party.

Liss_37 · November 2016

mrsyimster said:

Liss_37 said:

"wow it's twins!! my friend had twins too. she died in childbirth. it was really sad"

omg all the twin horror stories... so many times i actually legit cried bc i was so scared....

Right??? what the hell is with people?

I work for a doctor and last week one of his colleagues (a female physician to boot) came over and was asking how I'm feeling, etc. then went on to tell me that I absolutely HAVE to have someone move in with me when the babies are born because I'm not going to be able to handle it. and I was like ya no one is moving in. both my parents are MARRIED and I live in a 3 bedroom house so no space. and she was like well you should move then. you're not going to be able to deal with it all by yourself and rolled her eyes.

I swear sometimes doctors are some of the most entitled people on the planet. way to make me feel totally inept.

disneybaby84 · November 2016

if I started in on my MIL,I wouldn't ever shut up. However on the latest saga of drama ( first background story, my DH was born when his mom was 5-6 months. He was in the NICU for like 100 days, his mom has a photo album with poloroid pictures labeled of everyday he was in the hospital. Oh and the first time I met her when dating DH she showed me the album) Fast forward to today. She has been very concerned since August about us having everything for the baby, just last week she was texting me like crazy about a rocking chair and then she called me, flipping out about a rocking chair. When I calmly told her, that I wasn't in a desperate need of a chair this week and that I wanted to take time to make space for a large piece of furniture, she lost it. " What are you waiting for, you know not all babies come on time." I told her, as long as we have things by the time we go to the hospital, we're good. But she mafe me realize my pregnancy, is reviving all her anxiety about her son's early birth, which is the exception, not the rule. Arghh, I don't want to have to do therapy with her to help her separate her birth issues and my pregnancy.

Liss_37 · November 2016

wow that's crazy about your MIL

sorry she's being such a jerkoff to you!!

Spartanrd4 · November 2016

All of your MIL stories makes me happy sometimes that my MIL lives across the ocean and we don't even speak the same language! Not that there isn't any drama but I don't have to deal with it- DH does! Ha

jmacd22 · November 2016

I don't have any crazy MIL stories so I'm thankful for that!

datalover13 · November 2016

I don't have any crazy MIL stories either, but big hugs to you guys. These are horrible!!! I can't believe how some people just feel the need to butt-in.

triwellnessgirl · November 2016

Wow, so sorry to hear about all of these MIL stories! Yikes!! I hope things improve with everyone. I'm sure you don't need that added stress!

Hubby's Mom passed away 20 years ago so I have no stories to tell. And my Mom and Dad are moving in with us this week (moving to CA from MA) so one would think I may go crazy, but honestly, Hubby and I are SO looking forward to it. My parents are the best, always have been. They stayed with us for 4 months earlier this month and it was wonderful. Really looking forward to having my Mom around to teach me the baby basics

mrsyimster · November 2016

disneybaby84 said:

@mrsyimster so sorry your MIL is being so rude and mean. If you want to escape I live a few hours north and we can have a pregnant women party.

i wish i can leave the house! bed resting for the twin-ies!

mrsyimster · November 2016

Liss_37 said:

Right??? what the hell is with people?
I work for a doctor and last week one of his colleagues (a female physician to boot) came over and was asking how I'm feeling, etc. then went on to tell me that I absolutely HAVE to have someone move in with me when the babies are born because I'm not going to be able to handle it. and I was like ya no one is moving in. both my parents are MARRIED and I live in a 3 bedroom house so no space. and she was like well you should move then. you're not going to be able to deal with it all by yourself and rolled her eyes.
I swear sometimes doctors are some of the most entitled people on the planet. way to make me feel totally inept.

oh I've had that been told me to many many many times but yah, coming from a doc thats just rude!! you and i and all the other multi mommies just gotta keep a light heart and go with the flow. No need to worry about all that yet. I don't have space for anyone else to stay with us either. I am hoping DH can stay home for 2-3 weeks. my MIL

direwolfmini · November 2016

Seriously, the twin horror stories are driving me crazy.

I started a prenatal water aerobics class and the instructor is a grandma of twins. She thought it would be good to tell me about how they were born at 26 weeks, cost $1 million each in Nicu costs (before insurance), and one died 3 times before being revived. WHAT? I didn't want to know that.

If you want to tell me a twin story it better be about how they were born full term, healthy, and love their mommy.

Goodmorning12 · November 2016

Well, I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say it makes sense why my wine consumption dramatically increases around the family (while non preggo of course)

Gators&BoSox · November 2016

I have no idea why people feel the need to try to scare you with craze pregnancy stories. For me, I know it helps to look up positive birth stories (I put med free in there too bc that's my goal). I did a quick google search and there are stories specific for positive twin births too if anyone is interested.

mrsyimster · November 2016

will def miss wine this holiday season

Gators&BoSox · November 2016

oh I am having myself a glass lol... funny thing is I only have a glass of wine when i'm pregnant...I'm a beer and whiskey girl but when I'm pregnant, wine sounds appealing. And obviously whiskey is out lol

Jen524 · November 2016

I have lots of MIL stories too. Way too many to share. Most recently she told my SIL that she doesn't want to be around my husband and I alone because we don't let her do whatever she wants to with our kids. She is notorious for pitching a fit when we are there to visit about not getting to spend time with us and either invites over every relative in a 60 mile radius so she doesn't have to be around us or she goes and pouts. We live 8 hours away and with kids in school, we don't make it home more than 4 times a year (my DH and I are from the same town). When we are home to visit, we split time between both families and she, even after 8 years, can't figure out that she has to share. She is a micromanager and a piece of work. Makes the holidays delightful.....blah

bradleerick-2 · November 2016

My sister and I called our mom on the way home from work yesterday to find out what time Thanksgiving is next Thursday. Mom starts by saying that the plans are firm, she always has to rearrange her life for everyone else, so she's doing it Saturday like every year in the past, BUT that Thanksgiving starts next Friday after work at our family cabin, we are staying overnight there, and having Thanksgiving dinner together Saturday. My sister asked what time she's thinking about eating on Saturday because she has a 1.5 yo daughter and doesn't know how the overnight at the cabin thing will work out AND she knows that Friday night and most of Saturday are not in the cards for me and DH. Mom said- I'm telling you it's all day Saturday so that we don't have a set time, just come Friday night and we'll see.

I said- OK, Mom. Well DH and I are going to the Penn State game on Saturday and DH always goes with his buddies Friday night to the hunting cabin to play cards. Why aren't we having Thanksgiving on Thursday like most people?

She said- I ALWAYS have it on Saturday because I'm always second to everything else.
I said- then why did we have it on Thursday last year? And two years ago we all went to Arooga's without you because you cancelled Thanksgiving entirely.

... You get the drift.

lilies5/28/06 · November 2016

DH family lives out of state takes us about 2 1/2 hours to get there. Since we've been together about 14 years or so its always us going to them very rarely do they come to us. Since DH mom passed several years ago and my mom technically lives with us 10 months out of the year I refuse to go spend the holidays with his family because that would just leave my mom alone for the holidays and she doesn't particularly like his family. His brother and sister never remember the kids birthdays (its always my husband who calls to remind them) don't really spend time with them. My kids luckily aren't phased by it and don't really seem hurt so I just ignore it and I feel that I honestly don't owe his family anything now that his mom is no longer around. DH is welcome to visit but I could go without seeing them. Anyways he asked his sister and his brother back in sept if they wanted to come up and spend thanksgiving with us and none of them have replied and or given the hint that they are not coming. I don't really care either way but I feel bad for DH because I'm sure he would love to be around his family. I

I dislike going to their house as its always a mess, house is never clean, threes always some type of dysfunction going on and I'm pretty sure they don't change the sheets on the bed with visitors. last time I refused to sleep in the bed that was offered and I slept on the couch but there's no way in hell this time with a 20plus week belly am I going to sleep on a couch.

bradleerick-2 · November 2016

Wooooo! I love this thread! We are either all relatives or all families are just this freaking awesome, but thank you all for making my family seem much more normal!!

Spartanrd4 · November 2016

DH told me the in laws were sending a bunch of things for us for the baby around Christmas time because they won't be here to visit until May (they live in another country). Among the things being sent DH mentioned was the used teething toys his Aunt threw in that his cousins used (They are 11 and 14 years old). Uhm thank you for the kind gesture but I don't need your used bit up teethers....we can buy our own thank you! Even if you sanitized them- the thought is just gross to me. Am I crazy?!

lilies5/28/06 · November 2016

@Spartanrd4 No you are not crazy. Who in their right mind would think that sending a used teether let alone a teether that is 14 years old and give it as a hand me down. I know that it may have sentimental value and yes you can sterilize it but the thought alone is gross especially when they are inexpensive. My youngest had a Sophie giraffe that I saved and I'm contemplating buying a new one for the new baby.

mtmama2 · November 2016

@Spartanrd4 That's freaking gross! Why would you still have your child's old teethers when they are 14yrs old?! Those are not reusable!!

DrillSergeantCat · November 2016

I gave my mom and MIL my shutterfly login info so I could buy them pictures. My MIL instead went on there and deleted my entire order because she refused to let me spend $20 on pictures for her.

bradleerick-2 · November 2016

@DrillSergeantCat oh my word I would be so pissed.

DrillSergeantCat · November 2016

Bradleerick said:

@DrillSergeantCat oh my word I would be so pissed.

I am. She texted me apologizing, but I can't answer her right now. I tried to do something nice for her and she screwed me.

disneybaby84 · November 2016

@DrillSergeantCat. super not okay for her to do that

bradleerick-2 · November 2016

My brother in law (29 yo) told me and DH last night that instead of coming to the boutique with all of us for 15 mins next Wednesday night to see his only sibling's first child, our baby, that he is going with his new girlfriend to her friends' thanksgiving that he just learned about last night. Priorities?

npaulie · November 2016

@Bradleerick that sucks, I'm sorry. And @drillsergeantcat sorry to hear about your MIL

RunBooRun · November 2016

Bradleerick said:

My brother in law (29 yo) told me and DH last night that instead of coming to the boutique with all of us for 15 mins next Wednesday night to see his only sibling's first child, our baby, that he is going with his new girlfriend to her friends' thanksgiving that he just learned about last night. Priorities?

Sorry, but I'm with BIL on this one. I would never go to someone else's ultrasound. Never, doesn't matter who it is.

It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about your lo. I didn't connect with any of my nieces or nephews until they were actually born. Would ask how the pregnancy was going out of politeness and concern for my sister/SIL, but I wasn't all about baby until they were here.

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