R/R: TW - Saw a "Big brother May 2017" announcement on FB this morning. That was not awesome. This guy had been a year behind me in school but we were both in hockey and were on the same exchange program and were pretty good friends then (nothing beyond platonic on my side). Since then I moved away and then he moved close by because he was stationed in the area. I sent him a FB message and said I'd love to get together and that if his wife ever needed anything (since she was away from family and friends and he might be away from time to time), I was here for her. Never heard back. So that's been a little sad for me. Then over the last few years, it's like with every setback and disappointment soon there's a post from him that is pretty much him getting exactly what it was that I just got denied. And it's not like it's any direct response to me because I don't post anything ever. It's just a strange recurrent cosmic middle finger. They're just this perfectly cute little family. Good looking, cute dog, nice house, cute kid, and now a May baby.
CS/Q:
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? When I was 3, my grandma was dying of bone cancer. She meticulously planned her estate. For example, she left me a pair of earrings with a handwritten note marking them for me tucked into the box liner. Same thing with a diamond necklace she left for me for high school graduation along with a note that she had received it as an employment anniversary gift on this date and this person picked it out. She also left each of us some money for college. I was able to use mine to cover Semester at Sea. It was an incredible experience that I would not have been able to afford otherwise. She was such an amazing caring woman. I wish I could have known her better.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@adirat Once again - thank you for such amazing information! Since I'm still new on the TTC journey, it's so easy to get stressed out and not know what to listen to. I've read Expecting Better, and am glad that you recommend it as well (it got such mixed reviews).
@BertieMeetsGertie GL with your DH tonight - hopefully he's on board with BD!
@hupp0013 Ugh - waking up from a dream feeling annoyed/angry is the worst! Hope your day gets better!
@TravelingCouple and @JuneRoseRuby Sorry you are both at that point - but hopefully you'll get some answers out of the appointments and be able to make a game plan
There are too many people to tag - but I'm loving hearing about all of the amazing gifts
Month/Cycle: 2/2
CD: 9
WAYDTGKU: PNV, herbs, BBT/CM charting, green tea, OPKs
R/R: I have Friday off for a craft show - my first one ever! So I'm pretty excited about that
CS/Q: nope, just waiting
GTKY: Hmm... my DH and I don't do gifts really (we are minimalists, so avoid 'things'). But for our wedding, we did get a nice bottle of Bordeaux from a cousin in France, that we are to age for ten years and have on our 10th anniversary.
@britvahok what OPK's are you using? I know some people have had problems with the CBADs giving peak readings for multiple days in a row (I think I remember @georgiawife6912 had 10+ days...)
@spiderlover25 I'm sorry DD is having trouble with DH being away. deployments are tough on anyone especially the kiddos and then when he has to leave again. Hugs
@lund I might follow your lead and get a chai this afternoon!
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
WAYDTGKU: HIO last night on -5 before O, plan is to HIO everyday during FW. Although when I suggested it to DH, he looked at me like I was crazy. Ha, I thought he would be excited at the thought of HIO...but his response was: that might get tiring. So we will see.
R/R: Woke up, again at 2:00am, 3:00am and 4:30am today. I give up, not sure what is going on with me. But I decided to temp at 6:10am when I got up for good. So I am not sure how accurate temping is going to be and I am exhausted from inconsistent sleep.
CS/Q: none
GTKY:
What is the best gift you have ever received? Hmm....experiences. I love when DH books a reservation for brunch at my favorite restaurant or a trip. I do not really like physical items because we do not really need anything.
@Sailing_Mama I'm a big fan of Expecting Better because it doesn't force anything down your throat -- just explains why most pregnancy health studies should be viewed with skepticism so you can make your own decisions. I fully admit that I am biased to like the book because although Oster is an economist and I am not, we do similar work professionally (just in different fields) and likely have similar training that predisposes us to look at health questions this way. Maybe an unpopular opinion but I think most outcry against Expecting Better came because she notes in the book that the evidence about moderate drinking during pregnancy is inconclusive -- cue the pearl clutching. Most complaints I saw were along the lines of "she says it's safe to drink during pregnancy but we know it isn't! She is spreading misinformation!" She in fact does not say that it is safe, simply that we don't understand what a safe level is so complete teetotaling -- and the policing of women that comes with it -- aren't supported by research.
I looked at the population studies about this and came out agreeing that we don't have any information about a safe level. We know that occasional drinking of wine and beer seems to have no impact on infant outcomes but also that there is no tipping point -- infants present with FAS at different maternal drinking rates. To Emily Oster, this meant a weekly glass of wine was fine. To me, this means that drinking should be as limited as possible once the placenta has formed, and if I get pregnant I don't plan to drink much if at all. But her larger point is that we don't know and people should act responsibly with the information they are given, not have someone else decide for them.
This has already been really long but I will just say I think a lot of the super restrictive advice about pregnancy is actively harmful to women and operates under an assumption that women are too stupid to make their own decisions. That is not something I believe. It's as though society thinks women lose all agency and critical thinking skills when pregnant so they should have dictated to them the strictest possible rules. It's the same with directives not to eat lunch meat because of listeria -- there was listeria in turkey one time ever in the US. You are likelier to get it from vegetables (annual listeria outbreaks). But people think "we better tell women not to eat X just in case" when the risk is essentially zero as though they can't make their own educated decision. That's crazy to me. If a woman wants to choose to restrict then that is her right, and if she wants to eat a turkey sandwich she shouldn't get flak for that either.
@adirat thanks for the research summary - I'll be enjoying my glass of wine guilt free tonight
Month/Cycle: 1/1
CD: 25
WAYDTGKU: PNV, temping, OPKs, CM, HIO
R/R:
CS/Q: nope
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received?
probably not the best gift I ever received, but what comes to mind is my husband got me a kitchenaid professional a few weeks ago which I love - worked out well for him and my colleagues too, because now I'm even more obsessed with baking
@adirat I agree with the way that you (and her) approach it. I think that we are all grown ups, and like to be treated as such. I found so many books/blogs/articles on pregnancy and fertility treated women like children - you know when you're a kid and ask your parents why and the answer is 'because I said so'? I much prefer being presented with the facts and then drawing my own conclusions. Every day, we decide what risks are acceptable for us or not - this should be the same approach. I find it so bizarre how as soon as a woman is pregnant, everyone thinks they can judge - I had a colleague who subscribed to the belief that the odd glass of wine was okay, but as soon as she started to show, she had to get someone else to get it from the bartender.
@wabash15 I'm using wondfos and cbe. I started using cbe yesterday after I thought maybe something was wrong with the wondfos. But I've been using this same pack of wondfo since September. The only reason why I'm still testing is so I can tell my obgyn what's going on at my appt on Friday.
CD: I can't even remember. I need a cycle buddy! 13 maybe? All I know is it's FW and I need to start OPKs today.
WAYDTGKU: all the things.... mostly too lazy to type it out
R/R: I'm both nervous and excited for my next appointment on Monday. I'm also getting excited for TTC again, just in time for the FW. Yay! My temps are being wonky but hopefully I can still figure out when O is.
CS/Q: nope
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received?
Our bar has a thing called Shake a Day. You pay $1 and roll the dice. If you roll a Yahtzee, you get whatever is in the pot (minus 20% to start a new pot). If you don't, your dollar stays in the pot. I went to the bar with a friend for a couple birthday drinks and decided to play. It hadn't been won in almost 8 months. I rolled five 3's and walked out of there with about $3,600 after tipping the bartender and buying a round of drinks for the bar.
A more sentimental gift, my dad puts home videos together on a DVD every year for Christmas for my family. I have video from when I was a baby and last year I got some of my Grandpa with video of him overseas in the army from the 40s! It's all silent video but it's amazing to watch! I'm glad my dad saved and restored all of that.
Married 07.21.07 DS#1 01.23.09 DS#2 08.01.11 TTC#3 08.31.15 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17 Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19 Left tube removed dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis BC: February-October 2019 TTA: November-December 2019 NTNP: January 2020!
@adirat Everytime you post I think I you even more!
@lulu1180 I don't mind lurking the BMB and seeing a 1/1 BFP. I do get really bummed seeing people I recognize from TTGP that are struggling with a potential MC
@LuND My H doesn't really do presents either (no birthday gifts for me). So whenever he actually gets me something it feels so amazing!
Month/Cycle: 10/2AL CD: 20 WAYDTGKU: BBT CM CP HIO R/R: I think I'm going to consider the bleeding I've been having the last few days as spotting and not AF. My AF is usually so light it's hard to distinguish between spotting and AF. The conference call I was leading this morning went really well. My boss even pulled me into his office to tell me how great it went! CS/Q:
Meh, nothing today.
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? My grandpa got my a dinning room set as a wedding gift. I absolutely love my table and it's my favorite gift.
**TW**
Me: 30 DH:30 Together 2003, Married 2011 DD: July 2005 BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16 BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
@linzrunz we have Shake a Day here too You must be in the midwest! And, GL with your appointment on Monday!
@Kiki75 so sorry I totally understand the cosmic middle finger feeling. Try to rest assured that no one's life is nearly as perfect as it seems from the outside.
@LuND I'm actually in Northern California. I'm from Vegas (gambling capital) and I had never heard of it. I used to live in the Midwest and hadn't heard of it there either. I was in the KC area in missouri. Where are you?? (If you don't mind answering)
@BertieMeetsGertie Yes!!! I just checked FF and I am CD13. So my CD answer will now be See BertieMeetsGertie's post.
Married 07.21.07 DS#1 01.23.09 DS#2 08.01.11 TTC#3 08.31.15 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17 Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19 Left tube removed dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis BC: February-October 2019 TTA: November-December 2019 NTNP: January 2020!
R/R: My Yono arrived in the mail today! So excited to try it. I thought my temps would be erratic because I have sleep apnea (I also had long annovulatory cycles leading up to my first pregnancy). However, I've been using a regular thermometer (for like 5 days so far) and everything seems to be fine. So might have been a waste of $100, but I'm excited nonetheless.
CS/Q: I feel like I have questions that pop in to my head during the day, but I completely blank once I sign in to the bump.
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? Probably my engagement ring, does that count?
JulesDP: Haha, love the mid-day sex appointment idea. DH and I will probably schedule one of those next month if we are not successful this month. He is leaving for a trip and will be gone on -2, -1 and O day. We both work on the Friday (-3), so we might just have to use our lunch break as a sex appointment, lol.
Peedy: I have not heard of Yono, is it like Ava? I may look into one. This is my first cycle of charting temps and I have crazy sleep patterns (wake up a lot during the night). I don't know how normal or atypical my temps are, but I am not able to take it after 4 consecutive hours of sleep. So depending on how the next few months go, I may buy something like Ava to help keep track of it.
@linzrunz@BertieMeetsGertie CD 13 here too! As previously mentioned am I tracking it on 5 different apps so should be accurate...ha!
@adirat@Sailing_Mama this discussion reminds me of a book I really enjoyed (definitely more anecdotal than scientific but the author does cite studies and interview specialists) called Bringing Up Bébé. It's about Americans raising a baby in France and the different customs and beliefs the French have. TL;DR version is drinking is not a taboo in their culture like it is here. It's a really good read!
edited because I goofed up the tags at first.
Me & DH: 29 Married June 2015 NTNP January 2016 TTC #1 October 2016
Ugh, of course as soon as I start thinking it's just spotting my flow increases. Now I'm thinking this is AF. WTF body, a cycle is not supposed to be 17 days
**TW**
Me: 30 DH:30 Together 2003, Married 2011 DD: July 2005 BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16 BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
R/R: so FF took away my CHs (From cd 11) I think cd 14 is O day. Initially I thought it was cd 13 but I took pics of my wondfos for hindsight comparison because this batch has been a little streaky and after looking at it cd 12 was dark but more of a negative then yesterday's so once I switched that it took them away. Chart is below
CS/Q:
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? my engagement ring! Had it for 5 years and I still look at it in awe every single day I just love it so much.
WAYDTGKU: trying to get dh to have sex with me.. temping, cm opks
R/R: Guys I am so sad! My opks have been positive last night and the night before. No temp jump yet. But last night, my poor DH was so sick and had a 101.5 fever and didn't HIO. I have so many emotions. I feel bad he's so sick. But I'm also devastated that we are missing critical timing for this cycle. I tried so hard this cycle, and was so hopeful. I believe today may be O day. He is very sweet and apologetic for not being able to do it, but it doesn't help the hurt. He said he would try tonight. So maybe we can get -4, -3, -2, O. If it stopped at -2 (or -3 if O is tomorrow) I just lose all hope.
CS/Q: That all being said.. would a fever of a few hours kill the sperm? Damage the DNA? Come on body just O! chart:
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? My mother helped us surprisingly when we got married by turning the second story of the house into "our apartment" so that we could live there rent free and save all of our paychecks for a down payment. She dedicated time and energy into helping us with our finances so that we could pay off some baggage that someone (cough DH) had, destroying his credit score. It was a financial boot camp and it was so hard not being able to buy what I wanted and of course living with my parents for the first 6 months of my marriage. But I owe where I am in life to my mom and that is the greatest gift she could ever give me.
@baileygomez It's different from ava, because ava uses a different bunch of factors to try and guess your fertile window. However, with my last pregnancy I was anovulatory and had very wonky cycles, so I was leary of something that wasn't a strict BBT thermometer (seems like it might be more of a fun toy for women whose lady parts like to function well). I also have sleep apnea, and I'm hoping that Yono will get a better reading for someone with disrupted sleep than a regular thermometer.
Yono is a device that you wear in your ear overnight. In the morning you put it on the docking station and it automatically sends your temp to the Yono app. The price point is $100 (the website offers $20 off and free shipping to get it to $100). Where I think ava is around $200+.
@britvahok Sorry the OPKs are getting you down. I quit them
this cycle and I’m glad I did, I feel a lot less crazy. Enjoy your wine
tonight!
@Kiki75 Sorry about your Facebook friend. The universe is
just so unfair sometimes.
@adirat Love everything you’re putting out there. From
lurking on BMBs it’s amazing how many women get sided eyed for drinking a cup
of coffee even though 200mg of caffeine is typically ok. How is this common knowledge
to every pregnant woman out there, but not anyone else??
R/R: Not really a Rant or a Rave, but FF seems pretty convinced I O’d
yesterday. If I put in high temps for the next 3 days I get solid crosshairs. This
is within my normal range, I normally O between CD 14 and 16. This time I was all geared up to keep going for two more days and now I'm like:
CS/Q: Take a look if you’re bored, I don’t feel 100% confident
that my shift today was enough to warrant FF’s insistence that I O’d yesterday.
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received?
I really love the pendant DH gave me for our first Christmas
together. I’m wearing it today.
@beachbunnyxo123 I agree about cd13 or cd14. Where is your coverline usually?
@swimsister I can CS if you give a url (on mobile so I can't see sigs) I don't lurk the bmbs but I completely believe that -- poor ladies. What a nightmare.
@Peedy I'm so glad to hear that you ordered a Yono too! Mine should also be arriving today I was very interested in getting one because I'm a horrible sleeper and I'm also such an anxious lunatic that the thought of sleeping past my temping alarm was causing me to wake up over an hour early every day. FX that it works for both of us!
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
R/R: Late stopping in today thanks to a train wreck of a day. Tomorrow is easy peasy though and that might help get my butt out of bed in the morning. I have been trying to cut out booze but after the last couple of days I think I may have a couple glasses of wine tonight.
CS/Q: First month of temping and I missed two days. I don't really know where I stand or what I am looking for when it comes to charting. To me, it doesn't look like I have O'd but is it possible I may have in the two days I stopped ? CM changed from watery to EW today and my cervix is so high I can barely touch it. Anyone ?
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? The best gift was probably when I was 12 and my parents bought me my first horse. It was a pretty exciting day until I realized the horse was as experienced as I was (which wasn't very experienced). I had more broken bones from that horse than I can count.
@Bertiemeetsgertie I tried to BD this morning with DH and he kept falling asleep. Romantic, huh ? Sometimes it's so hard to be up to it when it's planned.
@TravelingCouple Your DH sounds like a very sweet and thoughtful man. I love your GTKY !
@adirat it fluctuates between 97-97.5 if I put in two high temps it gives me solid CHs for cd 14. But initially it was cd 11 then cd 13 but now it seems like FF will go with cd 14
**TW, Loss Mentioned** I tagged people here because it's related to previous convo but don't read it if you don't want to. Hi Guys, I'm coming back from benched on CD28. I experienced a MMC a month ago. I am expecting a longer cycle. O could still be a week or two away. @Flinstone and @KhRun17, I went off BCPs and got pregnant in cycle 1, and my doctor told me that the MC was not caused by that. Just curious why you were discussing going off hormonal BCP before TTC and the relation to MC? I have friends that it worked out for with no pause in between BCP and TTC. I don't know anything about IUD/IUI...just curious about why people say this about BCP (I also checked with my doctor before TTC, and back then, they also said no need to wait). @adirat, I totally agree with what you said about the medical community treating pregnant women like they are incapable of making their own decisions or just making "rules" super strict for no reason. I avoid sex and baths for a MONTH after my D&C on the advice of a nurse. Well, my follow up appointment was yesterday, and my doctor told me that was misinformation and he was "sorry they said that." So I followed this cautious and strict advice for nothing! ***End TW***
Month/Cycle: 3/2
CD: 28
WAYDTGKU: OPK/Temping
R/R: Nada
CS/Q: Nada
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received? My husband makes me handmade cards for special occasions, and I really cherish them. He's a super thoughtful and good gift giver though, so this question is hard!
TTC since 8/7/16 BFP 9/13/16 MMC 10/18/16 D&C 10/20/16
@sugargirl1019 a short fever shouldn't affect the sperm, prolonged fever can affect sperm but generally the ones that are being made not the ones already in the chute so to speak. His goods should still be good. I know how frustrating it is when you start with great timing but as you get to O it all goes to pot. You do have a great start though so all hope is not lost.
@flashley I agree with the other ladies you have not O'd yet because your temps have not come up. It things look promising for today. GL and HIO!
@britvahok I usually get 3 days of +, sorry yours have been going on so long. Hopefully you get some answers
@linzrunz hooray for feeling excited this cycle. I hope your appointment goes well next week
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@adirat Science and stats.. I love it!!! Has anything you've read said anything about number of drinks before and after O? I'm curious if drinking can lower your chances of getting pregnant. I think for centuries woman used to drink during pregnancy and we're all not super messed up so it's probably more of a precautionary thing. I totally agree with you on everything you wrote. I can make up my own mind based on data.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
ladies, there must be something in the water over there in TWW....4 in the grad thread today!! Honestly, congrats to all of them! I'll just be over here in WTO like:
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Re: WTO Wednesday 11/16
CD: 2
WAYDTGKU: nada
R/R: TW - Saw a "Big brother May 2017" announcement on FB this morning. That was not awesome. This guy had been a year behind me in school but we were both in hockey and were on the same exchange program and were pretty good friends then (nothing beyond platonic on my side). Since then I moved away and then he moved close by because he was stationed in the area. I sent him a FB message and said I'd love to get together and that if his wife ever needed anything (since she was away from family and friends and he might be away from time to time), I was here for her. Never heard back. So that's been a little sad for me. Then over the last few years, it's like with every setback and disappointment soon there's a post from him that is pretty much him getting exactly what it was that I just got denied. And it's not like it's any direct response to me because I don't post anything ever. It's just a strange recurrent cosmic middle finger. They're just this perfectly cute little family. Good looking, cute dog, nice house, cute kid, and now a May baby.
CS/Q:
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@BertieMeetsGertie GL with your DH tonight - hopefully he's on board with BD!
@Flinstone FX your cycle sorts itself out soon!
@hupp0013 Ugh - waking up from a dream feeling annoyed/angry is the worst! Hope your day gets better!
@TravelingCouple and @JuneRoseRuby Sorry you are both at that point - but hopefully you'll get some answers out of the appointments and be able to make a game plan
@wabash15 Enjoy the day off!
There are too many people to tag - but I'm loving hearing about all of the amazing gifts
CD: 9
WAYDTGKU: PNV, herbs, BBT/CM charting, green tea, OPKs
R/R: I have Friday off for a craft show - my first one ever! So I'm pretty excited about that
CS/Q: nope, just waiting
@spiderlover25 I'm sorry DD is having trouble with DH being away. deployments are tough on anyone especially the kiddos and then when he has to leave again. Hugs
@lund I might follow your lead and get a chai this afternoon!
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
CD: 10
WAYDTGKU: HIO last night on -5 before O, plan is to HIO everyday during FW. Although when I suggested it to DH, he looked at me like I was crazy. Ha, I thought he would be excited at the thought of HIO...but his response was: that might get tiring. So we will see.
R/R: Woke up, again at 2:00am, 3:00am and 4:30am today. I give up, not sure what is going on with me. But I decided to temp at 6:10am when I got up for good. So I am not sure how accurate temping is going to be and I am exhausted from inconsistent sleep.
CS/Q: none
GTKY:
What is the best gift you have ever received?
Hmm....experiences. I love when DH books a reservation for brunch at my favorite restaurant or a trip. I do not really like physical items because we do not really need anything.
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
@Sailing_Mama I'm a big fan of Expecting Better because it doesn't force anything down your throat -- just explains why most pregnancy health studies should be viewed with skepticism so you can make your own decisions. I fully admit that I am biased to like the book because although Oster is an economist and I am not, we do similar work professionally (just in different fields) and likely have similar training that predisposes us to look at health questions this way. Maybe an unpopular opinion but I think most outcry against Expecting Better came because she notes in the book that the evidence about moderate drinking during pregnancy is inconclusive -- cue the pearl clutching. Most complaints I saw were along the lines of "she says it's safe to drink during pregnancy but we know it isn't! She is spreading misinformation!" She in fact does not say that it is safe, simply that we don't understand what a safe level is so complete teetotaling -- and the policing of women that comes with it -- aren't supported by research.
I looked at the population studies about this and came out agreeing that we don't have any information about a safe level. We know that occasional drinking of wine and beer seems to have no impact on infant outcomes but also that there is no tipping point -- infants present with FAS at different maternal drinking rates. To Emily Oster, this meant a weekly glass of wine was fine. To me, this means that drinking should be as limited as possible once the placenta has formed, and if I get pregnant I don't plan to drink much if at all. But her larger point is that we don't know and people should act responsibly with the information they are given, not have someone else decide for them.
This has already been really long but I will just say I think a lot of the super restrictive advice about pregnancy is actively harmful to women and operates under an assumption that women are too stupid to make their own decisions. That is not something I believe. It's as though society thinks women lose all agency and critical thinking skills when pregnant so they should have dictated to them the strictest possible rules. It's the same with directives not to eat lunch meat because of listeria -- there was listeria in turkey one time ever in the US. You are likelier to get it from vegetables (annual listeria outbreaks). But people think "we better tell women not to eat X just in case" when the risk is essentially zero as though they can't make their own educated decision. That's crazy to me. If a woman wants to choose to restrict then that is her right, and if she wants to eat a turkey sandwich she shouldn't get flak for that either.
Sorry soapbox over!
CD: 25
WAYDTGKU: PNV, temping, OPKs, CM, HIO
R/R:
CS/Q: nope
probably not the best gift I ever received, but what comes to mind is my husband got me a kitchenaid professional a few weeks ago which I love - worked out well for him and my colleagues too, because now I'm even more obsessed with baking
CD: I can't even remember. I need a cycle buddy! 13 maybe? All I know is it's FW and I need to start OPKs today.
WAYDTGKU: all the things.... mostly too lazy to type it out
R/R: I'm both nervous and excited for my next appointment on Monday. I'm also getting excited for TTC again, just in time for the FW. Yay! My temps are being wonky but hopefully I can still figure out when O is.
CS/Q: nope
Our bar has a thing called Shake a Day. You pay $1 and roll the dice. If you roll a Yahtzee, you get whatever is in the pot (minus 20% to start a new pot). If you don't, your dollar stays in the pot. I went to the bar with a friend for a couple birthday drinks and decided to play. It hadn't been won in almost 8 months. I rolled five 3's and walked out of there with about $3,600 after tipping the bartender and buying a round of drinks for the bar.
A more sentimental gift, my dad puts home videos together on a DVD every year for Christmas for my family. I have video from when I was a baby and last year I got some of my Grandpa with video of him overseas in the army from the 40s! It's all silent video but it's amazing to watch! I'm glad my dad saved and restored all of that.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
@lulu1180 I don't mind lurking the BMB and seeing a 1/1 BFP. I do get really bummed seeing people I recognize from TTGP that are struggling with a potential MC
@TravelingCouple That day sounds amazing!
@LuND My H doesn't really do presents either (no birthday gifts for me). So whenever he actually gets me something it feels so amazing!
10/2AL
CD:
20
WAYDTGKU:
BBT CM CP HIO
R/R:
I think I'm going to consider the bleeding I've been having the last few days as spotting and not AF. My AF is usually so light it's hard to distinguish between spotting and AF. The conference call I was leading this morning went really well. My boss even pulled me into his office to tell me how great it went!
CS/Q:
My grandpa got my a dinning room set as a wedding gift. I absolutely love my table and it's my favorite gift.
Together 2003, Married 2011
DD: July 2005
BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16
BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
TTGP Dec '16 siggy challenge winner!
@Kiki75 so sorry
@adirat to your soapbox:
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
@BertieMeetsGertie Yes!!! I just checked FF and I am CD13. So my CD answer will now be See BertieMeetsGertie's post.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
CD: 9
WAYDTGKU: PNV, OPK, HIO during FW, diet, BBT
R/R: My Yono arrived in the mail today! So excited to try it. I thought my temps would be erratic because I have sleep apnea (I also had long annovulatory cycles leading up to my first pregnancy). However, I've been using a regular thermometer (for like 5 days so far) and everything seems to be fine. So might have been a waste of $100, but I'm excited nonetheless.
CS/Q: I feel like I have questions that pop in to my head during the day, but I completely blank once I sign in to the bump.
Probably my engagement ring, does that count?
@adirat @Sailing_Mama this discussion reminds me of a book I really enjoyed (definitely more anecdotal than scientific but the author does cite studies and interview specialists) called Bringing Up Bébé. It's about Americans raising a baby in France and the different customs and beliefs the French have. TL;DR version is drinking is not a taboo in their culture like it is here. It's a really good read!
edited because I goofed up the tags at first.
Married June 2015
NTNP January 2016
TTC #1 October 2016
Chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/50e54f/
Together 2003, Married 2011
DD: July 2005
BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16
BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
TTGP Dec '16 siggy challenge winner!
Month/Cycle: 10/10
my engagement ring! Had it for 5 years and I still look at it in awe every single day I just love it so much.
CD: 24
WAYDTGKU: trying to get dh to have sex with me.. temping, cm opks
R/R: Guys I am so sad! My opks have been positive last night and the night before. No temp jump yet. But last night, my poor DH was so sick and had a 101.5 fever and didn't HIO. I have so many emotions. I feel bad he's so sick. But I'm also devastated that we are missing critical timing for this cycle. I tried so hard this cycle, and was so hopeful. I believe today may be O day. He is very sweet and apologetic for not being able to do it, but it doesn't help the hurt. He said he would try tonight. So maybe we can get -4, -3, -2, O. If it stopped at -2 (or -3 if O is tomorrow) I just lose all hope.
CS/Q: That all being said.. would a fever of a few hours kill the sperm? Damage the DNA? Come on body just O! chart:
My mother helped us surprisingly when we got married by turning the second story of the house into "our apartment" so that we could live there rent free and save all of our paychecks for a down payment. She dedicated time and energy into helping us with our finances so that we could pay off some baggage that someone (cough DH) had, destroying his credit score. It was a financial boot camp and it was so hard not being able to buy what I wanted and of course living with my parents for the first 6 months of my marriage. But I owe where I am in life to my mom and that is the greatest gift she could ever give me.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
Yono is a device that you wear in your ear overnight. In the morning you put it on the docking station and it automatically sends your temp to the Yono app. The price point is $100 (the website offers $20 off and free shipping to get it to $100). Where I think ava is around $200+.
@britvahok Sorry the OPKs are getting you down. I quit them this cycle and I’m glad I did, I feel a lot less crazy. Enjoy your wine tonight!
@Kiki75 Sorry about your Facebook friend. The universe is just so unfair sometimes.
@adirat Love everything you’re putting out there. From lurking on BMBs it’s amazing how many women get sided eyed for drinking a cup of coffee even though 200mg of caffeine is typically ok. How is this common knowledge to every pregnant woman out there, but not anyone else??
@ChefRamsay Congrats on the call! Good work
Month/Cycle: 8/8
CD: 15
WAYDTGKU: HIO EOD, BBT, CM, CP, PNV, Preseed
R/R: Not really a Rant or a Rave, but FF seems pretty convinced I O’d yesterday. If I put in high temps for the next 3 days I get solid crosshairs. This is within my normal range, I normally O between CD 14 and 16. This time I was all geared up to keep going for two more days and now I'm like:
CS/Q: Take a look if you’re bored, I don’t feel 100% confident that my shift today was enough to warrant FF’s insistence that I O’d yesterday.
GTKY: What is the best gift you have ever received?
I really love the pendant DH gave me for our first Christmas together. I’m wearing it today.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
@swimsister I can CS if you give a url (on mobile so I can't see sigs) I don't lurk the bmbs but I completely believe that -- poor ladies. What a nightmare.
@Sugargirl1019 I agree with @linzrunz -- could be pre O dip! Fx!
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
"It's time to try defying gravity."
Married 6/11/16
TTC Since 6/2016
12/2016 RE appt; 1/2017 SA & HSG results - all normal
3/2017 Dx Hyperprolactinemia; 5/2017 Prolactin levels normal; 8/2017 Low Ovarian Reserve
8/2017 TTA for personal reasons; 10/2017 NTNP; 12/2017 Re-start TTC
7/2018 Clomid+IUI
11/2018 Letrozole+TI
12/2018 Letrozole+IUI
2/2019 NTNP
5/2019 Stopping all TTC efforts; living Childfree
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
CD: 16
WAYDTGKU: back to temping, Zestica, vitamins, sex
R/R: Late stopping in today thanks to a train wreck of a day. Tomorrow is easy peasy though and that might help get my butt out of bed in the morning. I have been trying to cut out booze but after the last couple of days I think I may have a couple glasses of wine tonight.
CS/Q: First month of temping and I missed two days. I don't really know where I stand or what I am looking for when it comes to charting. To me, it doesn't look like I have O'd but is it possible I may have in the two days I stopped ? CM changed from watery to EW today and my cervix is so high I can barely touch it. Anyone ?
The best gift was probably when I was 12 and my parents bought me my first horse. It was a pretty exciting day until I realized the horse was as experienced as I was (which wasn't very experienced). I had more broken bones from that horse than I can count.
@adirat
Me 27
DF 44
TTC post VR Sept 21/16
SA 6 weeks post op 50.7 mil count 40% motility
"It's time to try defying gravity."
Married 6/11/16
TTC Since 6/2016
12/2016 RE appt; 1/2017 SA & HSG results - all normal
3/2017 Dx Hyperprolactinemia; 5/2017 Prolactin levels normal; 8/2017 Low Ovarian Reserve
8/2017 TTA for personal reasons; 10/2017 NTNP; 12/2017 Re-start TTC
7/2018 Clomid+IUI
11/2018 Letrozole+TI
12/2018 Letrozole+IUI
2/2019 NTNP
5/2019 Stopping all TTC efforts; living Childfree
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
CD:11
WAYDTGKU: uhm. Lol the usual and opks
R/R: i have an 18.5m old and babysit a 2.5y old... No such thing haha
CS/Q: opks are the devil. I can never tell lol
Legit best one was a kitchenaide lol
DD#1:4/19/09
DD#2:5/5/15
EDD:8/10/17
***TW***
******************************
5 angel babies, 4 MC, 3 singletons sex unknown & 1 set of twin boys. Expecting our 3rd rainbow baby
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
Hi Guys,
I'm coming back from benched on CD28. I experienced a MMC a month ago. I am expecting a longer cycle. O could still be a week or two away. @Flinstone and @KhRun17, I went off BCPs and got pregnant in cycle 1, and my doctor told me that the MC was not caused by that. Just curious why you were discussing going off hormonal BCP before TTC and the relation to MC? I have friends that it worked out for with no pause in between BCP and TTC. I don't know anything about IUD/IUI...just curious about why people say this about BCP (I also checked with my doctor before TTC, and back then, they also said no need to wait).
@adirat, I totally agree with what you said about the medical community treating pregnant women like they are incapable of making their own decisions or just making "rules" super strict for no reason. I avoid sex and baths for a MONTH after my D&C on the advice of a nurse. Well, my follow up appointment was yesterday, and my doctor told me that was misinformation and he was "sorry they said that." So I followed this cautious and strict advice for nothing!
***End TW***
CD: 28
WAYDTGKU: OPK/Temping
R/R: Nada
CS/Q: Nada
BFP 9/13/16
MMC 10/18/16
D&C 10/20/16
@flashley I agree with the other ladies you have not O'd yet because your temps have not come up. It things look promising for today. GL and HIO!
@britvahok I usually get 3 days of +, sorry yours have been going on so long. Hopefully you get some answers
@linzrunz hooray for feeling excited this cycle. I hope your appointment goes well next week
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Has anything you've read said anything about number of drinks before and after O? I'm curious if drinking can lower your chances of getting pregnant.
I think for centuries woman used to drink during pregnancy and we're all not super messed up so it's probably more of a precautionary thing. I totally agree with you on everything you wrote. I can make up my own mind based on data.
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid