Not my first IVF rodeo

kangastein · November 2016

I'm so glad there is this group. I'm about to start my fourth IVF after one IVF pregnancy ending in miscarriage, 3 failed FETs and two failed fresh transfers. Even my doctors tell me I should be pregnant by now.

Hopeful_mom · November 2016

HI ladies i've been lurking since @radmom27 started this thread in oct. I was in the middle of my second IVF cycle that was a complete disaster and was converted into an IUI and I was really hoping that would be my miracle baby...but that was not the case and now I'm on IVF round 3.

I honestly can't believe i'm on this road. I know some of your stories from other threads and always feel like i learn something new. I do feel sorry for myself at times and its good to know you're not alone. I truly thought I would be one and done and yet here i am.

Long story short, TTC on my own for over a year and then went it didn't happen I went to a specialist for help. I really thought going to an infertility dr would have me pregnant in no time, but thats not the case. It was thrilling to learn that basically I'm old is the reasoning I didn't concise naturally on my own. Who said 40 is the new 30....they should add you may look it but your insides don't match up. I also have come to learn that I have DOR, since i have low AMH....maybe thats the reasoning i don't respond well to the meds BUT doesn't explain why i haven't conceived on my own. I've had AF and ovulate regularly...just the low AMH means my clock is truly ticking! It upsets me to no end. Many of you have gone through the full process so that probably stopped me from initially joining as well...but I have the same feeling so here i am. I'm in the middle of stemming doing an antagonist protocol (I think is what u call it) and i'm about 1/2 way through and its only showing I have about 4 follies measuring 5-7 which is still so low, I go back tomorrow to see where i'm at. I still haven't made it to ER so really hoping 3rd time is the charm and I can truly see if my eggs are good.

You're all rock stars in ur own right, and appreciate the extra insight!!

@sleepyrn Congrats on the weight loss! I'm getting nervous that my RE may not want to continue of this cycle doesn't work as I've gained weight throughout his process....its just awful!!

@kp214 u do help keep me same! Wish i knew about the EPP protocol sooner as it sounds like something that I would've liked to have tried it this cycle as i'm not responding well.

radmom27 · November 2016

@kangastein Welcome!
@Hopeful_mom Welcome! Hoping that your U/S went well today.

Hopeful_mom · November 2016

@radmom27 thank you but my follow up didn't go as i had hoped. My right side is coming along and an extra one popped up which i was excited about for a minute, until we went to the left and they couldn't find the other 2 that had been growing and then finally saw one very small one that they think has just stopped growing, so i'm barely at 3. Just frustrating to keep taking all these meds and still haven't made it to an ER....and now its not looking any more hopeful. I went to another acupuncture appointment just to see if that could help too...will stem another 3 days and see what thursday will bring. I really can't believe another a whole year will go by without any resolve.

kangastein · November 2016

I need advice! I've been interviewing RE's for my next IVF and one thinks I have PCOS (with regular cycles and no other symptoms) but he is the director of a huge clinic here. He's unwilling to do PICSI or immune treatments. He is convinced a protocol with menopur, follitism, and ganilirex will not fry my eggs. Another wants me on HGH and estrogen primed with ganirelex antagonist with full immune treatment and endometrial receptivity array test, PICSI. A third wants me on inistol, estrogen primed Lupron protocol and we can convince her to do PICSI. PGD any embryos and transfer next month. I'm so confused by the conflicting reports of what's going on with me. We get lots of eggs but they look bad at day three and few make it to day 5, only had one pregnancy out of 8 embryos. Does anyone have experience with these different protocols and egg quality? DNA fragmentation? Experience with PICSI?

radmom27 · November 2016

@Hopeful_mom Keep us posted. Crossing my fingers for you that more stims gives you more eggs to work with.

@kangastein I've now had two REs that have blown off my PCOS diagnosis and the more I think about it and the more research I do, the more I do think that it's important. I've had great success with lots of Menopur (meaning lots of eggs) but poor quality eggs with Menopur. If I had to start from the beginning again, I'd be careful about anything (like Menopur) which works by increasing the amount of androgens. I think that PCOSers are great responders but it's egg quality that remains the issue. There's no one protocol that's a win for each person so in the end, it's trusting in one particular RE and also trusting in your diagnosis. So frustrating!!

kangastein · November 2016

Unfortunately with and without menopur my eggs don't look great. The last cycle was mild with no menopur but I had terrible fertilization and some eggs were abnormal. How did you treat the PCOS? I'm on inositol but a dr mentioned metformin. With each dr giving me a different protocol, it's hard to chose which may be best for me. I'm leaning towards estrogen primed with Lupron in order to control my follicle production. I'm meeting with two more REs later this month in order to get 4th and 5th opinions.

kangastein · November 2016

@hopefulmom what sort of protocol are you on? What are the doctors doing in response to the poor response to the stims? I hope it is just too early to tell for you and a few days will make the difference.

Colleen0516 · November 2016

4 rounds of IVF, 6 transfers, 5 IUI's, 2 surgeries... but I am pregnant with TWINS!!! There is hope ladies! Stay strong!!!!
(im still in the gray area, a lot can go right and a lot can go wrong, so I am still cautious)... but SOOOOOO excited!!

mtpbadger · November 2016

@colleen0516 I am so over the moon happy for you! Hopefully the rest of your pregnancy will be uneventful!

Well ladies, hit another bump in the road - FET#3 officially canceled due to thin lining. My RE is just as frustrated as I am and said uterine issues are very hard to treat since they just don't know exactly what is going on in there and why sometimes the lining just doesn't respond. We are going to do the ERA biopsy on Monday since I'm already all prepped for it. I'm not hopeful that it will pin point any issues (since with my body nothing has ever gone according to plan with this whole thing) and she is going to have me redo some of my blood work, prolactin and testosterone, just to see if anything has changed there. I was pretty devastated last night, especially since my RE mentioned surrogacy (to start maybe thinking about it but she hasn't given up hope yet) and that is a hard pill to swallow.

tiffanyw1783 · November 2016

Congrats!!!!!

Joslynj11 · November 2016

I just want to welcome our new faces, I am glad you all have a place to vent and pray that we can continue to support each other on this trying road.

@mtpbadger OH NO! I am so sorry that they canceled your cycle. I know you must be devastated which is completely understandable. Take some time to be good to yourself girlie! I hope that the ERA can give some conclusive answers on how you can try again and find some success. *creepy internet hug* Go enjoy a bottle of wine tonight.

@Colleen0516 I snuck onto another thread to congratulate you there as well but I am truly very happy for you and I hope those twins continue to progress beautifully!!

AFM: I think I will be cycling the first week of DEC with a ER around the 15th. I have been benched since August and saving frivolously to try and cycle again so I am finally growing confidence that DEC will be when we finally get to try again. This is my second ER after everyone in the freeze never made it through the thaw so we are changing protocols to try for better egg quality. I am on a TON of vitamins and have been for over a year now but I would love suggestions on anything else that you all think my help get me some killer embryo's this round. It was such a bummer to know that last ER I produced 8 embryos and only 2 of them had high grades(5bb and 3bb). It just seems like there has to be a way to get better quality. The Dr. doesn't seem to be concerned we have spoken many times since my last FET and every time I come with a new suggestion he just tells me to relax. I just want everything to be perfect this time since I think it will be our last try for a while... Thanks for any ideas ladies. I am getting nervous because Dec. will be here before I know it and as all of us in this thread know this is not a easy rodeo. Ya'll keep staying strong

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@mtpbadger Im so sorry it was canceled! At least there is something good coming from it. ERA's have helped so many of the ladies on these threads, maybe you will learn some important information and help those embryos stick!!

@Joslynj11 Thank you!

Im happy to see you are back at it!!! Praying this one works for you!

kjones202 · November 2016

Hi ladies - checking back in here. So so so happy for you @Colleen0516! What exciting news!

Good news on our end - our one fighting embryo came back from the biopsy normal. We talked to our doctor this morning and got that news. We also decided to do one more IVF cycle since it is covered by my insurance to try to get more embryos. Reason being - if either the current embryo doesn't result in a pregnancy, we'll need more, or if it does, I will be 40 years old the next time we are looking to get pregnant and it will be "easier" getting pregnant with 38 year old eggs than 40 year old eggs.

Regardless, I am cautiously optimistic about our little embryo that is waiting to be transferred. Fingers crossed.

Hoping there is good news for all of us soon!

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@kjones202 thats smart!! love that your little fighter is doing well

Hopeful_mom · November 2016

@kjones202 thats is exactly what i would do! and i wish i could....as now i'm 40

Theres apart of me that wishes i did mini IVF cycles back in feb when i first started cause i still feel after almost another year i'm not one step closer. Thrilled to here you have a super duper on ready to go!!

@mtpbadger UGH so sorry it was canceled! This is such a frustrating process. Hopefully you can get some answers.

@Joslynj11 Great your ready to start another cycle! Sorry you're having such a go at this. I can only imagine how excited i would be just to get that amount of eggs. I understand you're not thrilled with the quailty BUT do try and relax, I know someone that has a sweet baby girl and her quality was FAIR, not great at all but there you have it...still a happy and healthy baby!!

@Colleen0516! You already know how over the moon I am for you!! Praying its a happy and healthy nine for you!

@kangastein I first have to congratulate you on going for so many appt. I like the clinic i'm at and know i really should go for a 2nd opinion I just want it to take already so i don't have to! I'm doing an antagonist protocal which is gonalf at 300, menupar usually (4 powders) and then adding centritide. I did a cycle of luporn microdose and it was AWFUL!! Had a terrible response...had follies popping up and disappearing all over the place, it was such a waste of a cycle. I did an IUI that month for one still hoping for the best. So after what 2/3k of drugs and appointments i still got one follie which is what $50 of clomid did for me. UGH!! The drs really dont have anything to say on the subject so its frustrating. I think at this point i have to hope the 3 that are showing will keep on growing. I'm all OPP on this so we're talking about 15k for 2-3 eggs if i'm lucky...thats really a lot and USUALLY they don't go the ER unless you are showing at least 4/5...which i understand. Such a big gamble and unknown!

AFM I did have my check up today and i'm on 10 days of stemming and today is the 11th tonight really. My left side just has small ones that keep popping up and going away that they can't even measure them

The right one I have a 13, 12 and an 8. Its just frustrating that with 3 days of stemming each one went up 1 or 2. Usually 3 days should bring you to at least 2-3 in growth. It is amazing how different we all are, double digits would be amazing and i can't even get up to 5 UGH!!! I am very frustrated. My very first IVF cycle my left ovary did all the work and gave me 3 and the right only gave me 1. Why can't they just get on board at the same time. This is my 3rd round of IVF and to think I still won't make it to a transfer is just so frustrating and upsetting!!

kangastein · November 2016

@hopefulmom I know a few clinic that do mild IVFs which are meant for women like you that have a few eggs to retrieve. The stim process uses a breast cancer drugs which causes the ovaries to over produce. These are usually reduced cost especially if you are only retrieving one or two. It must be so frustrating to go through all of that.. I hope more pop up so you can get to a retrieval and transfer. I forget if it was mentioned on this board but is human growth hormone an option?

Joslynj11 · November 2016

@Hopeful_mom I am so sorry to hear that you are not responding as well as hoped. Its crazy how much can really change between each cycle. I think that is the biggest thing that I am trying to learn and to just look at my new cycle with nothing but hope. Hang in there girlie. I know its hard but your body can still find ways to surprise you. I hope that those 3 follies that you do have keep growing strong and you get to have your ER!! Thank you for such kind support you gave me too. I am just having a mini meltdown right now and hope that it passes by the time that its time to start again because I really want to try and go in with 100% positive energy. Thank you for sending me some of your positive vibes

kjones202 · November 2016

Thinking of you @Hopeful_mom and hoping those eggs are the perfect ones you need. My left ovary was completely uncooperative in my last IVF as well. It is so frustrating. Sending warm and egg-growing thoughts your way!

radmom27 · November 2016

I've been MIA for a couple of days...took a trip to NYC and saw a new RE for yet another opinion. I'm pretty frustrated...everyone I see says that they have no idea why I haven't gotten pregnant and that everything "looks great."
TRIGGER**
That is, until I had an ultrasound with the new RE because I've been complaining of a brown fluid that I have all month that I never had before my last miscarriage. My new RE saw the fluid (my other RE said it wasn't a big deal) and is now questioning whether I have a growth on my cervix. I pushed my other RE so hard about this issue and even had a hysteroscopy that was "normal" although my new RE suspects that maybe this was an area that my old RE just didn't look at since it's right at the junction of my endometrium and cervix. I think I'm going to move forward with an endometrial function test and another hysteroscopy. Hard to know what to think about all of this.** END TRIGGER
@Colleen0516 Congratulations!!!! Keep us posted!!
@mtpbadger I'm so sorry that your FET got derailed but am hoping the EFT hopes shed some light on what's going on and that it's a fixable issue. Looks like I'll be joining you for an EFT.
@Joslyn11 I too have been told to "relax" and not worry about things. Crossing my fingers for you. I feel like we can do everything right every time but there's some luck involved too. Hoping for a lucky month for you.
@kjones202 Yay for a healthy embie! It only takes one and hopefully this little fighter is your one.
@Hopeful_mom I'm so sorry that the ovaries are not cooperating. Mine also has a mind of its own. Are they planning on doing stims for longer or are they going to go for three that you have?

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@radmom27 I'm sorry you're going through all this, but I'm happy to hear this RE saw it though! Atleast there is some progress. Was you new RE in NYC? Or that was a separate trip?

kangastein · November 2016

@radmom27 that's so annoying! How do they treat the growth? Will it delay anything?

radmom27 · November 2016

@colleen0516 I went to NYC to see a new RE to get another opinion. I'm seeing Dr. O'Shaugnessy at SIRM.
@kangastein They're going to do a hysteroscopy to get a better look and try to biopsy it to find out what it is. I'm sure it will delay things...but that's OK.

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@radmom27 my doctor is based out of garden city (Long Island) and NYC. Weill-Cornell, Dr. Hey-Yoo Kang. She is amazing, I got excited that maybe you started at my practice.
There are so many wonderful doctors in the city! Wishing you the best of luck at your new RE!!

kangastein · November 2016

@Colleen0516 I've seen you suggest your dr on other boards! I've been shopping around for new drs in NY and appreciate the reference. Were you overall happy at Cornell? My current RE suggested her friend Dr. Chung at Cornell for another opinion.

@radmom27 I had a hystoscopy and it was more or less a painless experience. I hope that it turns out ok. I met with Dr O a few times and I think she's a great dr, she seems very thorough. I haven't gone with her yet because I'm still shopping around. Ps. I'm one of those "you should be pregnant" patients and although it gives me hope it's also annoying!!!

IfYouCanDreamIt · November 2016

Hi all, just found this board today and been reading the thread and though I have not been on as many IVFs as some of you, I can totally relate and think I may also belong here...

I'm new to all boards - NOT new to IF, IUI or IVF unfortunately.
Quick intro, more details in signature:
I'm 32 and DH is 34.
Never been pregnant, TTC for 3 + years.
I have history of fibroids and am currently growing 4 outside the uterus, scared to find out how much they will have grown after this cycle.

Currently on IVF #2 taking my trigger shot in an hour, not feeling much hope for this round due to my low response. Scan this morning showed 4 follies on right side, haven't had any on the left during this cycle.
Waiting to see how the retrieval will go and whether we'll have any embryos to transfer - initial plan by the doctor was to do a 3-day transfer + a 5-day transfer, DH wants to keep optimistic and hopes it'll go as planned. As much as I'd like to see that happen, my mind is currently fixed on praying we'll have even one!

After this cycle next will be scheduling a new meeting with RE to get tested for DOR and discuss the options going forward.

The reason why I've only recently joined discussions on IF boards is that I don't have anyone in my life apart from DH who really understands what I'm going through. We've made the decision of keeping our struggles private and have spoken to only our closest friends and family members and while I've created this mask to hide my feelings when people ask about us having children I feel like part of me is dying every time I face those questions. I've also got so sick of those well meaning comments that assure that "everything will work out once you just relax".

Thank you for everyone on the board for sharing your experiences, hoping to be able to provide support to all of you as much as you are providing to me. *** miracles do happen ***

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@kangastein I LOVE my current practice and specifically Dr. Kang. I came from Long Island ivf and hated them. But Dr. Kang is AMAZING. She is unbelievably smart, invests herself fully in her patients, and really takes her time with you and works to help you get pregnant. SHe kept me calm in so crazy moments, she always reassures me that I will have a baby (and she truly means it, she won't stop until I'm pregnant) I cannot say enough about her! I know she is mainly in garden city but she does do a lot in NYC too. I highly recommend her!

kangastein · November 2016

@colleen0516 thanks! I'll look into Cornell and Dr Kang!

@ifyoucandreamit I hope all goes well with the retrieval and you get more than you think. I agree about the frustration about the "relax and it will happen" comments, and it's really not true. I've relaxed, I've stressed and I'm still here. what sort of protocol are you on?

IfYouCanDreamIt · November 2016

@kangastein Thank you. I've been on Gonal-F 187.5 from day 3 to 7, cetrotide from day 7 w menopur 187.5 from day 8 till trigger with Ovidrel.

So glad today's a day without shots but I'm having hard time thinking of anything else right now. Going to walk the dog and stay offline for a while.

mtpbadger · November 2016

Alright, I've been pretty MIA the past week - I just needed a mental breather from all IVF related stuff. I'll try and catch up with everyone (and welcome the new ppl!)

Had my Endometrial Receptivity Array (ERA) and this morning and totally had a little breakdown in the car on the way there. My poor husband had to deal with me snapping at him and then start crying out of no where as we sat in traffic. This whole process just sucks and I should have been having my transfer today which makes it even harder. I think if the ERA had been planned from the beginning, I would feel better about it but having unexpected delay after unexpected delay plain old stinks.

Sorry for being a Debbie downer today.

oxinfree · November 2016

Totally understandable to be down @mtpbadger !!! Nothing goes according to plan it seems, and we feel constantly delayed in our journey to parenthood, so don't feel like a debbie downer at all. You SHOULD be frustrated etc. given everything... I would be! That being said, hopefully this ERA will give you some insight to move forward with more confidence. Big hugs and good luck to you!

Colleen0516 · November 2016

@mtbadger I think I would be feeling the same way!! You're entitled to a little meltdown today! SOrry you're having a rough day, hoping you ERA results bring you some good news!

radmom27 · November 2016

@mtpbadger Sometimes a breakdown is just what we need to get the strength to move forward. Hoping your ERA results help figure some things out.

Joslynj11 · November 2016

@mtpbadger ^^ I agree with the other ladies. Sometimes a breakdown is just what the doctor ordered and anyone who doesn't want to be be there can leave

Big Hug girlie I hope you get some good answers from your ERA

Hopeful_mom · November 2016

@ifyoucandreamit HAAAA I swear I thought the same exact thing today, at least i don't have to give myself another shot. AND I'm in a very smiliar situation and my mom doesn't even know i'm trying. She would be so sad knowing i've been struggling for so long. she has enough to worry about and i don't want to add to it!!! AND on some other boards that dont have issues are tough too because they get preggers in a month or 2 and then tell you not to think about it...yes thanks. I did that the first year and here i am, relaxing doesn't really help. AND who doesn't have stress in their lives right ugh!!

@colleen0516 I love how you describe your dr and wish i could talk as highly about mine. I do think that in time i might have to look in to it. @kangastein you'll have to let me know how it goes. This process is so tiring I know there isn't a magic pill so what is someone else going to tell me. I wish i had more time to do research and such.

@radmom27 @kjones202 @joslynj11 thanks so much for all the support ladies it means alot!! I think I might have a big day ahead of me!!

AFM: To catch all of you up
I've been stemming for now 13 days and have 3 follies at 14.5, 19, and 20 all on the right not one from my left ovary, that i might add to all the heavy lifting on my very first cycle. Still frustrated I don't have more. Last 2 days i kept going back and fourth on whether to do the ER or not. #rd round of IVF and still haven't made it through. So in weighing all option and I might add OH is not on board and doesn't really want me too as he thinks we can get more doing another protocol BUT I guess I convinced him to go through with it. I'm praying that the 14.5 one will be mature enough to fertilize. So tomorrow morning g-d willing i'll be going for my first ER, please pray i can get all 3 and they fertilize for me. I sound so silly, especially on the other boards where everyone has so much more. People doing IUI cry when they have 4/5 cause they don't want multiples UGH!! Ok done with my rant. I'm going to pray for the best.

NOW the next question is what happens next. IF they all fertilize how grand would that be then i would do a day 3 transfer, since i'm old with a low number they want go to day 5. Now if theres only 1 then I'm going to hold off and bank it to day another round. I really want to transfer more then one at this point, is that crazy? But thats where i am. I was in disbelief that tomorrow is happening but now I think it should be a go, so lets hope these are more 3 golden babies @kp214.

@random27 glad another dr is taking more of an interest, really sorry things aren't going smoother BUT maybe this is exactly what you need. So tired of hearing i should been pregnant, delivered and on to baby number 2 already...yes like i didn't know that.

Kp214 · November 2016

@mtpbadger we have all had meltdowns. It's ok and normal. Sometimes, my meltdowns have lasted longer than I wanted but afterwards, it feels better to have it all out. It's ok. Hope the era will provide some answers.

@Hopeful_mom praying your golden eggs are perfect! I am so excited that you are going to retrieval! I think @rachlee2010 was in a similar situation and she was successful.

mtpbadger · November 2016

Thank you ladies! I'm so glad you all "get it". I did feel better and am slowly starting to look forward now that I have my next steps from the dr. Have to call on day one and then they will either start me on BCPs (which I don't want Bc I think they suppress me too much) or on estrace to start prepping while waiting for the ERA results to come back.

At least since I'm not in the TWW I can drink at Thanksgiving, which is almost a necessity since I'll be at my in laws. I was a little worried about how I was going to get thru the day without a glass of wine or two!

@hopeful_mom my fingers are crossed for you and I will be putting every positive ounce of energy I can muster into the universe for you to get all mature eggs that fertilize!

Hopeful_mom · November 2016

@mtpbadger thank you so much!! I've been so crazed at work i didn't hit refresh before posting and see your update. We're on this thread cause we have all been there and having melt downs. My OH is still not on board and really giving in to me you could say. Theres much more to the story BUT i think for me its time to see that i have eggs worth fighting for!! I'm sorry your struggling but glad you have someone you can let it out with! Hoping you get some good results and answers!

@kp214 yes you might be right! I'm excited to go but scared for the outcome to be honest. Its so much money and the fact that its such a small chance and amount kind of makes it worse. I pray i can prove OH wrong, come on body. Everyone takes off from work, but i'm really not sure i can. Am i crazy thinking i can go to work after?

Kp214 · November 2016

@Hopeful_mom as far as going to work after retrieval, I would have said yes prior to mine on Friday. However, after Friday, I am going to say no. It was really tough. I became bloated, almost passed out twice, could only lie on my side but still uncomfortable, and pale. The other two weren't as bad. So, you just don't know how you'll respond afterwards. Maybe plan to take off but go in if you feel ok. I understand wanting to fight for your eggs, to see what they are made of.

IfYouCanDreamIt · November 2016

Hopeful_mom indeed, who doesn't have stress in their lives?! Regarding going to work after I agree with @Kp214 really depends how you are responding afterwards. I've only been slightly bloated myself, but we are responding different. Hope everything is going well today, fingers crossed for you x

mtpbadger meltdowns are totally justified, I understand how you are feeling and am sending you creepy internet hugs. Wine glass or two on Thanksgiving sounds good!

afm: I've just returned from ER, 3 eggs retrieved RE didn't even mention the fourth one that showed up in last scan so I guess it did not catch up... Now praying to have all 3 fertilised by tomorrow. The anesthesiologist noticed my left thyroid gland was swollen and asked me to get it checked, so I'm on it now and actually hoping that would result in some answers related IF.

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