DH just got home from MIL house. He said something along the lines of, my mom is upset she never sees DD, and she wants to be the one to watch her while we are in the hospital with number two, so we ARE letting her watch her. End of discussion.
GAHHHHH. After a giant screaming sob fest on my end--he finally agreed that she has never spent any time with DD, maybe 6x in the year, doesn't know what she needs, and would not be the best person for the job. However I need to make her a bigger part of DDs life.
I know she needs to be a part of her life, but how do you let someone be a part of your kids life when you don't enjoy her being a part of your life? She was content for 5years before DD to never see us except for Christmas & mother's day-but now that there is a grandkid she suddenly needs to see us weekly? And now I am mostly DREADING any kind of confrontation --aka discussion about this-- with her to come. Okay. Blehhh. Thanks for listening.
@kjd291 I don't have advice, but just wanted to say that sucks I can't even imagine how rough that must be. That would be really frustrating though, to have someone all the sudden demanding attention who hasn't really been around.
I finally went for a run this morning- yay!! I've been avoiding it because it is cold outside but I was tired of running on a treadmill so I finally sucked it up and went. The bad part- I locked myself out of house!!! The worst part- not only is my husband out of town but so is his family AND my family (the only people with spare keys)!!! So now I am sitting on my porch freezing to death while waiting for the only locksmith in town that does houses on a Saturday to come and let me in. Oh and my dog is inside angry at me for not taking him on the run and barking because he can't figure out why I'm sitting on the porch crying instead of coming inside and cuddling him. This is not how I wanted my weekend to start out! :'(
@kjd291 I'm sorry you're going through this... can you make this an opportunity for DH and MIL to spend time with DD while you go run errands or get a massage or something? at least the first time lol
@kjd291 I totally understand where you are coming from as I never really got along with my MIL who has since passed about three years ago before my youngest was born. She really didnt spend as much time with our kids therefore the kids were never that close to her but that was because of her not because of me. I tried to have DH make the kids available to her so that it wouldn't come back to bite me in the end with DH causing us to have issues. As long as she didnt mistreat my kids I just tuned her out and if there were certain boundaries that were crossed or if I didnt feel respected I would let her know and or told DH to have a conversation with her. With that said I am kind of sensitive in this area as I have all boys and I would hate that when the time comes around and my kids get married and have babies of their own that I would not be able to see them or my sons because of whatever differences or issues there may be with a potential daugther in law.
@librarymom917 my mom is also putting up the tree. I love christmas but I hate decorating the tree. I think its the putting on the lights part but since she loves doing it I let her have fun and then we admire a pretty tree
My son has a late flag football game that I am not looking forward to as its windy and cold in my area and I hate being out in the cold.
@kjd291 Ugh! This sounds like my worst nightmare! I sympathize with you. I've been with my husband for 14 year and all 14 of those years I have been butting heads with my monster in law! DH and I are already building tension about what's going to happen once baby is here. My MIL is elderly and doesn't drive so we never see her. She doesn't even come to family holidays. Yet she still works full time and wakes up super early to take a bus to work- so if there's a will, there's a way I guess. She lives in a really terrible neighborhood about an hour away from us so it will cause some issues I'm sure. I already know she's going to cause a stink about not seeing her grandchild enough. That being said, visitations can't all be one parties responsibility and I certainly will not be guilted into leaving my baby with her. If you want to spend time with your grandchild, YOU should also make an effort and be willing to spend time with the family as a whole. I don't enjoy my MILs company, but I too, understand and want her to be a part of our son's life. I'd say start small with maybe a monthly dinner and see how that goes.
@kjd291 Ugh! This sounds like my worst nightmare! I sympathize with you. I've been with my husband for 14 year and all 14 of those years I have been butting heads with my monster in law! DH and I are already building tension about what's going to happen once baby is here. My MIL is elderly and doesn't drive so we never see her. She doesn't even come to family holidays. Yet she still works full time and wakes up super early to take a bus to work- so if there's a will, there's a way I guess. She lives in a really terrible neighborhood about an hour away from us so it will cause some issues I'm sure. I already know she's going to cause a stink about not seeing her grandchild enough. That being said, visitations can't all be one parties responsibility and I certainly will not be guilted into leaving my baby with her. If you want to spend time with your grandchild, YOU should also make an effort and be willing to spend time with the family as a whole. I don't enjoy my MILs company, but I too, understand and want her to be a part of our son's life. I'd say start small with maybe a monthly dinner and see how that goes.
stuck in a box
The bold is definitely my biggest issue. I have no problem if she wants to come over and visit with us at any point! I do reach out occasionally and tell her if we are going somewhere or such, but she doesn't want to see me or DH. She never wants to visit-just to babysit.
thabks for listening to my rant and for advice ya'll! I definitely agree getting together more often would solve the issue, I have no problem with that. I've said it to DH forever. I'm just annoyed that it's my fault if we don't get together::you are mother and son. You're both adults. Want plans? Make them. Don't get mad at me for never seeing eachother when you never make plans to do so!
@kjd291 I can totally sympathize. My IL's leave 2 minutes away, and they never come visit, unless FIL wants money. DH hasn't been over to see them in months because he just doesn't wanna hear their crap. His grandma complains that she never see's DH but never comes to our house to see him. There's no such thing as a quick stop in to see them, if you over you're there for HOURS and I just don't have the time so I haven't taken DD over in awhile, but they never come over so I don't feel bad. They haven't asked how the baby is, I've invited them to all of DD's soccer games, to grandparents day at her school and they never showed . I'm not the reason they don't see DH or DD.
Just got home from a playdate, my (new) friend brought me a bag full of 3-6 month clothes yay! she also gave me a little painting she did and it goes perfectly in the nursery and some homemade bath stuff she makes to pamper myself, it's all natural and smells amazing. The kids played for 2 hours at the park while we talked and it was so nice .
I waited outside for an hour in 30 degrees weather and paid the locksmith $125 to break into my house.... 3 hours later my husband responds telling me that there was a spare key hidden in our bbq grill... I could have strangled him!!!
I waited outside for an hour in 30 degrees weather and paid the locksmith $125 to break into my house.... 3 hours later my husband responds telling me that there was a spare key hidden in our bbq grill... I could have strangled him!!!
Oh noooo!! I'm so sorry ( I'm glad you finally got into your house though!
@SienaC I'm so sorry you got locked out for so long in the cold, that sounds miserable! At least you finally got back in!
I just realized 7 weeks from today will be 2017!!! I feel like time is flying by so quickly & this pregnancy is going much faster than I thought it would! With all the talk of the moon lately for anyone else out there into astronomy, I've been counting down the full moons since the beginning until LO arrives & there's only 4 more after tomorrow's (3 for a lot of you ladies!) For some reason in my mind paying attention to the moon's cycle seems to make time go even faster.
@SienaC I'd have been sooo mad too! I hope you keep up with running outside, even after an unfortunate first day of it.
@serenity13 This pregnancy definitely is making time fly and the downside of it is realizing I suddenly need to get moving on the registry and writing the guest list for the baby shower, among other things I still need to do!
Re: Randoms! Week of 11/7
DH just got home from MIL house. He said something along the lines of, my mom is upset she never sees DD, and she wants to be the one to watch her while we are in the hospital with number two, so we ARE letting her watch her. End of discussion.
GAHHHHH. After a giant screaming sob fest on my end--he finally agreed that she has never spent any time with DD, maybe 6x in the year, doesn't know what she needs, and would not be the best person for the job. However I need to make her a bigger part of DDs life.
I know she needs to be a part of her life, but how do you let someone be a part of your kids life when you don't enjoy her being a part of your life? She was content for 5years before DD to never see us except for Christmas & mother's day-but now that there is a grandkid she suddenly needs to see us weekly? And now I am mostly DREADING any kind of confrontation --aka discussion about this-- with her to come. Okay. Blehhh. Thanks for listening.
The bad part- I locked myself out of house!!!
The worst part- not only is my husband out of town but so is his family AND my family (the only people with spare keys)!!! So now I am sitting on my porch freezing to death while waiting for the only locksmith in town that does houses on a Saturday to come and let me in.
Oh and my dog is inside angry at me for not taking him on the run and barking because he can't figure out why I'm sitting on the porch crying instead of coming inside and cuddling him.
This is not how I wanted my weekend to start out! :'(
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
@SienaC how awful
@kjd291 I totally understand where you are coming from as I never really got along with my MIL who has since passed about three years ago before my youngest was born. She really didnt spend as much time with our kids therefore the kids were never that close to her but that was because of her not because of me. I tried to have DH make the kids available to her so that it wouldn't come back to bite me in the end with DH causing us to have issues. As long as she didnt mistreat my kids I just tuned her out and if there were certain boundaries that were crossed or if I didnt feel respected I would let her know and or told DH to have a conversation with her.
With that said I am kind of sensitive in this area as I have all boys and I would hate that when the time comes around and my kids get married and have babies of their own that I would not be able to see them or my sons because of whatever differences or issues there may be with a potential daugther in law.
@librarymom917 my mom is also putting up the tree. I love christmas but I hate decorating the tree. I think its the putting on the lights part but since she loves doing it I let her have fun and then we admire a pretty tree
My son has a late flag football game that I am not looking forward to as its windy and cold in my area and I hate being out in the cold.
Just got home from a playdate, my (new) friend brought me a bag full of 3-6 month clothes yay! she also gave me a little painting she did and it goes perfectly in the nursery and some homemade bath stuff she makes to pamper myself, it's all natural and smells amazing. The kids played for 2 hours at the park while we talked and it was so nice .
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
I just realized 7 weeks from today will be 2017!!! I feel like time is flying by so quickly & this pregnancy is going much faster than I thought it would!
With all the talk of the moon lately for anyone else out there into astronomy, I've been counting down the full moons since the beginning until LO arrives & there's only 4 more after tomorrow's (3 for a lot of you ladies!) For some reason in my mind paying attention to the moon's cycle seems to make time go even faster.
@serenity13 This pregnancy definitely is making time fly and the downside of it is realizing I suddenly need to get moving on the registry and writing the guest list for the baby shower, among other things I still need to do!