How do you know your OB is the right one?

purplegoldfish2 · November 2016

I had to leave an OB I love because she only delivers at a hospital that I refuse to deliver at again and I don't like several of her coworkers (one yelled at me when he thought I was in labor and I insisted I wasn't - I was right, but why is anybody yelling at a woman they think is in labor?).

I know which hospital I want to deliver at. My old OB recommended somebody that delivers there. I called for an appointment, there was a misunderstanding with the phone nurse and when I called to try to fix it, they refused to listen and insisted I get bloodwork to make sure I was pregnant. I got pissed because they were putting policy over people and found a different dr (I admit this may have been an overreaction - hormones were a little intense a couple weeks ago & they were just asking me to get a blood test before they scheduled an appointment). I was absolutely sure the new dr was the dr for me, despite never meeting him. The day of my appointment, I started having second thoughts, feeling like I made a huge mistake and should have gone to the one my OB recommended. I went anyway, things went well, I got a surprise ultrasound because they said they didn't do them, but apparently they do on Wednesdays. The ultrasound showed I was at 5+5 instead of 6+1 and we couldn't see anything but a gestational sac (which they were unconcerned with and told me it is not abnormal at 5+5 to only see that). I get a call later that day from the nurse, telling me there was more on the ultrasound - it was either a SCH or a twin and they wanted me to go for bloodwork so they could tell how far along I was (which I didn't think they could do since the hcg range is so big). I was disappointed that they didn't let me see more on the screen, didn't offer printouts (although that may have been because there was no baby to see yet), and that I got a call later that there might be a problem or it might be twins. My old OB's office did a 6 week scan and I saw everything, & was told immediately it was twins & the dr came back in to make sure I didn't have any immediate questions and congratulate me. This place said they'd call me & that was it.

Anyway, I went for bloodwork and the lab sent the results to the wrong dr because the first dr had sent the same request (the request I iverreacted to), so the first dr called and tried to set up an appointment. I explained the mistake and it is getting straightened out, but ever since that call, I've again started thinking I should have maybe gone to them instead. The thing is, I still haven't met either dr (my appointment was with his nurse).

What at would you do? I'm trying to listen to my gut and it said him, but now it's saying maybe not him. I have a blood draw Mon and ultrasound Wed, which I plan to go to so the SCH/twin thing can be cleared up. My next appointment with the dr is scheduled for 10 weeks. Do I keep it and see how it goes or cancel and call the practice I was mad at (but I'm not anymore because it was a freaking blood draw and I am a hormonal idiot)?

SaphireSweetie88 · November 2016

@HP1119

I got an uneasy feeling just reading about what happened. If it were me, I would give the one your OB suggested a chance.

pepper16-2 · November 2016

@HP1119 I'm sorry you've been having such a stressful time finding the right OB! I'm not sure I followed everything you wrote perfectly, but FWIW, I would go with the doctor your old OB recommended because you know you trust your old OB and because since you haven't met either of these new doctors yet, it seems pretty hard to have a gut feeling about either of them! The one thing your gut is clearly telling you is that you probably overreacted to the first doc and that you did not appreciate the second doctor office's communication. So I'd say go back to the one your OB recommended and make your final decision after meeting him/her. Good luck!

Also, just an FYI: new joiners are invited to post first in the intro thread pinned at the top so we can all get to know each other and build a community of support

The "Read this First" pinned thread also has some good info about the board. Best of luck for a H&H 9 months!

purplegoldfish2 · November 2016

Thanks ladies! I've been so stressed trying to figure out if it was crazy pregnancy hormones or if it's really something about them. I'll call the one my OB recommended on Monday.

Thanks Pepper. I usually skip the into posts because they are so long and I was sure once they get a couple hundred responses people stop reading them, but I can go back and do it. The read first is a little confusing (are we allowed to make new posts or not? I figured if not, somebody would let me know.)

SaphireSweetie88 · November 2016

HP1119 said:

Thanks ladies! I've been so stressed trying to figure out if it was crazy pregnancy hormones or if it's really something about them. I'll call the one my OB recommended on Monday.

Thanks Pepper. I usually skip the into posts because they are so long and I was sure once they get a couple hundred responses people stop reading them, but I can go back and do it. The read first is a little confusing (are we allowed to make new posts or not? I figured if not, somebody would let me know.)

@HP1119

You can make a new thread about something if it doesn't fit into 1 of the weekly threads AND if it's something the community can participate it / not just benefits the OP

pepper16-2 · November 2016

I agree with everything @Cait32 said! @HP1119 I wasn't implying your new thread was bad, just wanted to encourage participating in the community more broadly as well

purplegoldfish2 · November 2016

Thanks for clarifying ladies!

Just so it's clear, what kinds of posts would not benefit only the OP? I feel like this post only really benefits me and anybody else asking specific questions to their situation would only benefit them. A couple of you said this post is fine, so I'm confused about that still.

FWIW, I usually lurk more than comment, but I didn't really have anywhere else to go with this because nobody except my husband and his dad knows I'm pregnant. I will occasionally comment on posts though and I did the intro post

pepper16-2 · November 2016

@HP1119 I wouldn't stress about it too much! You're going to get lots of opinions from women here on what is an ok thread to start and what's not. In my personal opinion it's broader than that and is actually just about trying to be a part of the community and giving support to others as well

FWIW, I'm glad you felt you could come here with your question today - I hope we were at least somewhat helpful and that I see you around here more

SaphireSweetie88 · November 2016

@HP1119

This thread is one that the community can participate it and it also benefits other members because if they search looking for threads about OBs or finding an OB, this will pop up

glitterfish-2 · November 2016

SaphireSweetie88 said:

@HP1119

This thread is one that the community can participate it and it also benefits other members because if they search looking for threads about OBs or finding an OB, this will pop up

That is kind of a stretch, imo!

But either way, I don't care if people post their unique problems.

Repetitive problems, maybe not so much, but none of us own this board anyway.

purplegoldfish2 · November 2016

Thanks again! Yes, super helpful - I mean, I completely broke down crying when my husband got home because he was encouraging me to stay (only because he saw how mad I was at the other place) & you made me feel like I wasn't crazy.

ladipale · November 2016

I'm so sorry! That is stressful! I had to switch OBs after my first DD because we moved.

It was hard because I get attached to my OBs! I can get over some clerical errors if I have an amazing relationship with doctor her or himself.

I might give the OB you saw one more chance, talk to him about the concerns you have with everything that went down and otherwise try the OB your original OB recommended.

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How do you know your OB is the right one?

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